


Between the Shadow and the Soul

by Sugakane_01



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubious Consent, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Language, Infidelity, Jealousy, Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Character Death, Original Character Death(s), Possessive Behavior, Rough Sex, descriptions of torture, discussion of abusive relationships, discussion of child abuse, this is a kink meme fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-19
Updated: 2013-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-14 15:17:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 93,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/516735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugakane_01/pseuds/Sugakane_01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt never dreamed that in order to have it all and marry the man  he loved he'd also have to marry the mob, but that was a sacrifice he was more than willing to make for a life with Sebastian.</p><p>Over the years they worked out an unspoken agreement: Sebastian did his best to keep the darkness and danger from their door and Kurt purposely made himself deaf, dumb and blind to the reality of Sebastian's "business". Kurt asked no questions so Sebastian told no lies. But all things done in the dark eventually come into the light and when Kurt persuades Sebastian that it's time for them to become parents their house of cards comes tumbling down. When Sebastian's business literally blows up in Kurt's face, he finally realizes just what he's gotten himself-and his daughter into. Unwilling to expose Nicollette to the physical danger and moral decay of growing up in Sebastian's world Kurt runs away with her. He thinks he's escaped but after three years underground Sebastian's finally tracked him down and he's determined to take back everything that belongs to him-including Kurt.  Now Kurt has to decide if love is enough to fix what's broken and Sebastian has to decide if he wants a reconciliation more than he wants revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on [this prompt](http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/29310.html?thread=37446782#t37446782) from the Glee Kink Meme and the title is taken from a line in Pablo Neruda's Sonnet XVII.
> 
> This is my first foray into Kurtbastian and I'm super nervous posting but the story was relatively well received on the GKM and I figured...I wrote it, I should own it. So this is me owning it. It's unbeta'd so all the mistakes are mine and I just hope that everyone heeds the warnings and understands that while certain disturbing elements may be romanticized that doesn't mean that I condone or endorse such behavior so please...no personal attacks. 
> 
> If anyone has any questions, complaints or concerns that they don't feel comfy addressing here or questions about updates or anything really feel free to hit me up on either of my Tumblr's which are [here](http://st-sebklaine.tumblr.com/) and [here](http://thesugashack.tumblr.com/)

Hindsight is 20/20. Kurt had never appreciated the bitter irony of that statement more than he did now as he sat on a Greyhound bus with all of his worldly possessions shoved into a nondescript green duffel bag with a fake ID in his pocket, five thousand dollars to his name and his infant daughter asleep in her carrier on the seat next to him. Kurt was bone tired but too afraid to sleep so he could do nothing but look at his daughter, fight back the tears and hope that he could run far enough and fast enough that Sebastian would never be able to find them. Kurt instinctively reached out and ran his fingertips across his daughter's cheek. Nicollette was the most important thing that Kurt had taken with him when he'd fled. She was the reason for his flight to begin with and the only thing he couldn't- _wouldn't_ -leave behind. He had left everyone and everything else, including Kurt Hummel-Smythe behind. He had left the penthouse apartment he'd spent months decorating. He had left his small design house and his part job writing a column for Vogue. He had left New York, the city he'd been dreaming of living in since he was twelve. He had left his wardrobe and his books, his sketches and his studio, his friends and his family, because all of it belonged to Kurt Hummel-Smythe and he simply couldn't be Kurt Hummel-Smythe anymore.

A single tear tracked its way down Kurt's cheek and he dashed it away. Kurt, husband to Sebastian Smythe, son of Burt Hummel, stepson to Carole, stepbrother to Finn, best friend to Blaine Anderson, Rachel Berry and Mercedes Jones was now ghost, a memory. Kurt didn't exist anymore. He would never hug his father or Carole again. He would never again fly to LA to go shopping with Mercedes or have another movie night with Rachel and Finn. He would never again fall asleep with his head pillowed in Blaine's lap as they watched old reruns of bad reality television shows.  He would never go to another New Directions or Warblers reunion party. Life as he'd known it was over.

The phone call to his father to say goodbye had nearly broken his resolve. To hear his dad break down and know that he was the one  causing him pain and that it was his poor choices and bad decision making that was forcing Burt to say goodbye to his son and his grandchild had nearly broken Kurt. Having his father's blessing hadn't made the guilt or the shame any easier to bear. He'd given his father messages to pass on to the rest of his friends and family and hung up swearing that he'd find a safe way every year on the anniversary of his parents first date to let Burt know that he and his granddaughter were ok.

Kurt was alone for the first time in his life and he was terrified. He'd been lonely before but he'd never been truly _alone._ He'd always had his father. Then he'd had the guys at the shop and later on Mercedes, Rachel and Glee, Cheerios and Coach Sylvester, Carole and Finn, Blaine and then Sebastian.

_Sebastian._ Sebastian had come into Kurt's life, equal parts arrogance and intelligence and changed it in ways Kurt never could have imagined when he sat across from him in the Lima Bean trading insults and fighting over Blaine. They'd gone from bitter rivals to best friends in the span of a year. After Kurt and Blaine's break up his relationship with Sebastian made one more turn and they went from friends to lovers. By the time they'd been living together for a year Kurt had been so in love that when Sebastian explained to him exactly what the "family business" was that he was expected to take over someday, Kurt hadn't cared.

Kurt had told himself that it was "someday" was way off in the distant, hazy future and they didn't need to worry about it. They were kids and they were in love and that was all that mattered. Kurt had convinced himself that Sebastian Smythe former Dalton Academy Warbler and current NYU student and Sebastian Smythe future mob boss were two different people. He'd believed Sebastian when he'd promised him that his familial obligations would never touch their life, that he'd never give Kurt a reason to be afraid and that he'd keep him safe. Kurt had believed, he'd believed so completely that he'd lied by omission to his friends and family, keeping Sebastian's secret.

But all dreams must come to an end and during their senior year in college the bottom had dropped out. Sebastian's father had been indicted on RICO Violations and Racketeering charges and after a lengthy trial that ended in him being found not guilty, Alexander Smythe had been gunned down on the courthouse steps.

The "truth" had come flooding out then. Stories about the Smythe family and their connections to the Mafia swirled and suddenly Kurt was fielding concerned calls from family and friends, being interviewed by federal, state and local police and stalked by tabloid media.

He'd never wavered once. He'd given the performance of a lifetime and recited verbatim the lines that Sebastian had taught him to say in the event they had ever found themselves in that situation. He'd lied to his family and friends. He'd lied to the police and the FBI. He'd played his part perfectly and Sebastian had rewarded his love and loyalty with an engagement ring and the promise of forever.

A year later he and Sebastian were married and Sebastian had taken over his father's territory. Sebastian kept every promise he'd made Kurt for three years.  He put up the capitol for Kurt to begin his own design house which resulted in Kurt landing a guest editor position at Vogue.  They moved into a gorgeous penthouse on the Upper East Side. They went out to dinner and to parties, to Broadway shows and gallery openings, to the finest five star restaurants and tiny hidden cafe's.  Kurt was living a dream and he learned to ignore the reality of the body guards and bullet proof glass.  He learned to live with the split second of fear whenever Sebastian left for "business trips" or went to "important meetings". He allowed himself to believe that Sebastian being mobster wouldn't impact their happily ever after and then Rachel had gotten pregnant and Kurt had been practically assaulted by the desire to be a parent. Sebastian had balked initially, not wanting to raise a child in the same environment he'd grown up in but Kurt had eventually convinced him that it would be fine, that they would be amazing parents and that he had faith in Sebastian.

He and Sebastian discussed their options for months before deciding on surrogacy. Kurt had insisted Sebastian be the child's biological father-he'd hoped having a biological connection would ease any lingering doubts Sebastian might have. When the procedure had taken, they had been overjoyed. When Nicollette had been born Sebastian had given him a platinum necklace with all three of their initials engraved onto a Gordian knot. Kurt had honestly thought his life was perfect and then a few months later he had walked into their home to hear Sebastian ordering a hit on their accountant, a man Kurt considered a friend. A man they had just had over for dinner. A man whose wife Kurt had just thrown a baby shower for.

A man who, it turned out, had been an undercover cop.

Kurt had been shocked but retreated back into his fantasy world and pretended he didn't know and that he hadn't heard his husband on the on the phone coldly ordering the execution of another human being as casually as he ordered Thai food for dinner.

Kurt's denial had worked until the day the day Kristoff's body was found.

Kristoff's teeth had been crudely removed and his tongue cut out. His hands had been cut off, both eyes were gouged out and he had more broken bones than intact ones. The body had been in such a state that there had been no choice but to have a closed casket funeral. Kurt's illusions about how dangerous Sebastian was and how deadly he could be had been ripped away as he'd sat in the front row staring at a gleaming black box , watching Sebastian-ever the performer- feign grief so believably that something cold and heavy twisted low in Kurt's stomach.

After embracing the widow and offering his condolences with so much sincerity that even Kurt found it convincing, Sebastian had kept Kurt from exiting the graveyard, instructing him to wait a few moments until the widow's limousine had cleared the curve up ahead. Kurt had opened his mouth to ask why when suddenly there had been a loud boom, a flash of light on the road up ahead and a rumble had gone through the ground.

By the time Kurt had dared to look down the road, Mallory's limo and the two cars that had been directly behind it had been fully engulfed in flames. Kurt had fainted when he'd realized that Sebastian was only pretending to be as surprised and horrified as everyone else. He'd woken up at home, cocooned in luxurious bedding, with Sebastian holding his hand and Blaine sitting anxiously in a chair by his side.

" _You frightened us love," Sebastian said, gently kissing Kurt on the forehead._

" _I frightened you," Kurt repeated hysterically. "You…you…she was pregnant, Bas! There were people in that car with her! How could you? Oh my…the baby…how? How could you?"_

_Sebastian's grip on Kurt's hand tightened uncomfortably. "You are so naïve. Haven't you figured out that she was a cop too? You realize that they were trying to **lock me up** , put me in a cage like an animal and take away everything my father worked for? Is that what you want, Kurt? Do you want to see me in a cage, do you want to lose our home, our life? Do you want our daughter to grow up without me? Do you?"_

_Tears spilled down Kurt's cheek as he shook his head miserably._

" _I didn't think so. Now lie back and rest, we'll talk about this later."_

They hadn't talked. Kurt had tried time and again to convince Sebastian to let his brother Christian take over and "retire" but Sebastian had shut him down every time, often refusing to even discuss his business with Kurt.  After a particularly vicious argument Kurt had run away, taking Nicollette and checking into the Regency under an alias.

Sebastian had him dragged back in less than an hour. Kurt had gone up to the bedroom, hoping that perhaps giving Sebastian time to cool down would curtail any potential fallout from his impulsive flight. He hadn't planned on staying gone; he'd just wanted to do something to force Sebastian's hand and make him talk to him.

Kurt found out just how close to the edge his leaving had pushed his husband when Sebastian had returned and he'd overheard him raging in the living room as Wesley and Jeff tried to calm him down.

"He left me, Wes. He broke his promises, left me and tried to take my kid. If it were anyone else we wouldn't even be talking right now. He betrayed me and you know,  _you know Wes_ , what I do to people who betray me."

Bile had risen in Kurt's throat as he'd realized exactly what Sebastian meant, what Sebastian did to those who betrayed him. He'd given a small sob and retreated back into the bedroom, for the first time truly afraid of the man he'd married.

Kurt had spent the next few weeks carefully planning his escape. He hadn't been allowed out without guards so he'd vigilantly observed their schedule and figured out there were roughly ten minutes every afternoon when the shift change was happening that he wasn't covered. He'd then stolen a small amount of cash from the wall safe in the bedroom and used a disposable cell phone he'd snuck into his cart at the grocery store to call a friend of his that used to scalp tickets in the theater district and knew some shady characters. He'd met with Thomas under the guise of going to see a play but had actually been giving the other man payment on a fake ID, social security cards and phony birth certificates for himself and Nicollette. Three days later Thomas had "dropped by" with baby gifts and Kurt's new identity hidden in a teddy bear.

Kurt's heart had been in his throat when he'd decided to leave. Sebastian had left for a business trip and hadn't been due back for another two days. Kurt knew Sebastian wouldn't be calling to check on him until nine that night and he'd hoped no one would discover he was missing until then. He'd told Azimio and Rory that he wasn't feeling well, was getting Nicollete, going to bed and under no circumstances was he to be disturbed. Kurt had then gone up to his room and waited for the shift change. Once he heard the usual chatter from the change over, he'd grabbed his hidden duffle bag from inside his hope chest, gathered Nicollette and snuck down the back staircase. Once he'd made it into the kitchen and out the door without being seen he took the service elevator down to the parking garage and reached the bus stop across the street just before the bus was ready to pull out.

Staring out the window he sighed heavily. Kurt knew that he had taken a massive chance and that if Sebastian ever caught up with him there would be hell to pay. Nicollette stirred, a soft whine escaping her lips as if she were protesting the negative thoughts. "You're worth it, little one," Kurt whispered, as he shushed her. "I know I messed this up but I promise I'll fix it. I won't let you suffer for my mistakes. I'll be the best daddy ever and give you the best life I can. I'll keep you safe from harm. I'll keep you safe from Bas."

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell hath no fury like a Smythe scorned

Sebastian sat behind his desk and calmly surveyed the nervous faces of the men in front of him. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence Sebastian rose and walked over to the bar, poured himself a scotch and took a sip before speaking.

"So what you're telling me," Sebastian began slowly, "is that my husband is…gone. My husband is gone and no one, not even his security detail knows where he is? I leave for 24 hours and you manage to lose my husband. My  _husband_  just made himself disappear like some fucking  _magic trick_ , and took my daughter with him? Is that what you're telling me? Are you telling me you lost my fucking family?"

"Mr. Smythe," Azimio began but fell silent when Sebastian fixed a heart stopping glare on him.

"What exactly is it that you imagine you can say that I want to hear, Az? Do you know where Kurt is?" When the young man didn't answer Sebastian drew his .9mm from its holster and pointed it at him. "I asked you a question, Az," Sebastian said walking over and placing the tip of the barrel on Azimio's forehead, "Do. You. Know. Where. Kurt. Is?"

Azimio swallowed and then shook his head.

"I thought I made myself clear the last time you let him take my child and leave. I've been extraordinarily generous with you, Az. You get six figures to sit on your ass and play Angry Birds while Kurt sketches in his studio and a few times a week goes in to talk to his editor about his column. What else do you do, huh," Sebastian asked quietly. "Follow him to Starbucks? Take walks in the park with him and Nikki? I thought after our last conversation you understood that your job- _your only job_ -was to know where he was at all times and keep him safe. So I'm gonna ask you again, Az. Do you know where my family is?"

Azimio was rooted to the spot in fear and didn't dare move a muscle.

"I can't hear you," Sebastian said in a sing song voice. "Use your words, Az. You wanted to talk a minute ago. So talk. Did you do your job? Do you know where my husband is? Where my child is?"

"N-no sir. I'm sorry I got caught up during the shift change and just assumed he went up to his room like he said he was. I should have checked and I didn't. I ah, I don't know where Kurt or Nikki are and-"

**BANG!**

The sound of the shot reverberated off the walls as Azimio's body dropped to the ground.

"Holy fuck," whispered Rory. Unfortunately it was loud enough to get Sebastian's attention.

"You have something to say, Rory?" Sebastian demanded, stalking over to him, gun at the ready.

"No sir, he doesn't," Jeff cut in quickly, shooting a pleading look at his old friend.

"Everybody out," ordered Blaine who had become Sebastian's best friend and was the only person in the room that would dare put themselves in his line of fire at the moment. "That wasn't a request gentlemen, get the fuck out," Blaine said when no one moved.

As his men cautiously made their way out of the room, dragging Azimio's body with them, Sebastian took his handkerchief out of his front coat pocket and calmly wiped Azimio's blood from his face before pouring himself another glass of scotch.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now, Seb?" Blaine seethed, "You have to calm the fuck down."

"You want me to calm down?  _Kurt's missing_.  _Nikki's missing_. My family, who I specifically said was not be out of his," Blaine points in the direction the boys had gone with Azimio, "sight have fucking vanished, and you want me to be calm. What the fuck do you suggest I do Blaine? Fire up the laptop and play a little World of Warcraft? Or maybe rub one out to Twinks and Tricks? Maybe I should go down in the kitchen and bake a fucking cake-"

"Seb," Blaine broke in, hands up in mock surrender, "You can't lose it like this. You losing it started this whole mess in the first damn place."

"I'm not you," Sebastian said, eyeing his friend. "Kurt has known almost from the beginning who and what I am. You lied to him, I didn't."

Blaine nodded. "Now you know why," he said bluntly. Kurt had been shocked when he'd found out that Blaine's biological father was Michael Giancarlo, a man notorious for being in the same "business" as Sebastian and that Blaine wasn't quite the squeaky clean, picture of propriety he presented himself to be. Most people still didn't' know that Blaine had mob connections, as he chose to go by his stepfather's name of Anderson and kept his biological father a well guarded secret. "Kurt didn't grow up in this world Bas. He had no idea, none, what he was getting into, not really and you know it. Kurt makes you take spiders outside instead of squashing them with a shoe and you blew up a pregnant woman, a woman he'd had over for dinner and thrown a baby shower for right in front of him. He was wrong to run, but come on, Seb you can't tell me you don't understand why he did it."

Sebastian glared at Wes for a few moments before taking a deep breath and nodding. "He's gone," he whispered, anguish making his voice sound hollow and broken.

"We'll find him," Blaine said coming around the desk to pat Sebastian on the shoulder, "But what are you gonna do to him when we do?"

Sebastian looked at Blaine, fire blazing in his eyes. "You think I'd hurt him?"

"I think," Blaine said slowly, "that  _he thinks_  you'd hurt him. I think that he left you and took your child with him. I think that you're feeling angry and betrayed and not particularly rational right now and Kurt's panicked and emotional. I think that under normal circumstances you'd never hurt him and he'd never doubt that but these aren't normal circumstances and you're both wound tighter than a two dollar watch."

"I'm not going to hurt him, Blaine," Sebastian whispered. "I'm just going make him wish I had."

"Seb-"

" _He left me_. He took my child from me. No one takes from me, Blaine. You know that."

"Seb-"

"Save it," Sebastian snapped. "You want to help Kurt? Find him before I do and and convince to him to give me a reason to show some mercy." Sebastian reached out and pressed a button on the intercom on his desk. "Wes, call in whoever you need to call in and find my daughter. Track Kurt down. Start with Burt and Carole. There's no way he didn't say something to his father," he said before clicking off.

Blaine arched an eyebrow,"You know as well as I do Burt won't say a word. So what happens when he refuses to talk?"

Sebastian closed his eyes. He saw his seventeen year old self at the Hudmel table, a welcomed guest for Friday night dinner. He saw Saturday mornings at Burt's garage working alongside the older man with Kurt and Finn. He saw countless Saturdays spent watching Buckeye games and eating snacks Kurt didn't approve of. He saw the man embracing him at his wedding to Kurt and telling him he wasn't losing a son, he was gaining one.

Then he opened his eyes and saw the silver framed wedding portrait he kept on his desk with a family portrait of Kurt, Sebastian and Nicollette just to the right of it.

"I'll talk to Burt. I'll know if he's lying or not."

"Again, Seb what if he refuses to talk? You remember how he flipped out when he found out about…this," Blaine made a vague sweeping motion to encompass the room, "If he knows where Kurt is, he won't tell you."

"He won't have to," Sebastian said, "if he knows where Kurt is, eventually he'll go there or he'll send Finn or one of the guys from his shop. If he knows where Kurt is, he'll lead me right to him because he'll never be able to stay away from his son and his grandchild. I just have to be patient."

"And if he doesn't? Kurt's not stupid, Seb. Naïve but not stupid. He's gonna know you're watching everyone: Burt and Carole, Finn and Rachel, Mercedes, Sam, even Santana and Brittany. He didn't even take his phone or his laptop. Kurt wanted to disappear and…" Blaine trailed off.

"And what?"

"I doubt he'd put his dad or his friends, in your line of fire. He didn't even tell me goodbye," Blaine said, the pain of that statement washing over both men in the room.

"I need to be alone, Blaine."

Blaine nodded and wordlessly left the room, flipping open as his cell phone as he left, prepared to call in any favors he had to get Kurt home before Sebastian's rage had a chance to build and they still had a chance to work things out.

Sebastian picked up the family photo, looking at Kurt's brilliant smile and then letting his eyes slide down to linger over Nicolette's face.

"Don't worry baby, daddy's coming."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past comes knocking and Kurt has no choice but to answer.

  
Kurt Hummel-Smythe-or Sylvester Hudson as he's been known for the last three years-was exhausted. He loved his job but there were days when the kids absolutely wore him out. As he walked the familiar three blocks from the elementary school where he was the music teacher to his apartment he decideded he was too tired to make the spaghetti and garlic bread he'd planned earlier in the day and that he'd just order a pizza instead.

Kurt entered his building, paused briefly at the mailbox to collect his mail and help Mrs. Stephanado with her groceries and then took the elevator up to his third floor apartment. He slid his key into the lock and opened the door, slipping out of work mode and readying himself to be daddy to his three year old daughter. The smell of mouthwatering pasta hit him as soon as he opened the door and he blessed whatever impulse made Daniella decide to add cooking dinner to her babysitting duties.

"Dani? I'm back. I'm sorry for being a little late. Tyler's mom got stuck at work and I had to stick around and wait with him while his grandpa came to pick him up. Thank you so much for cooking. Where are you and where's daddy perfect princess?" Kurt called out as he dropped his mail on the table by the door and slipped his messenger bag off his shoulder and let it fall to the ground.

"Daddy's perfect princess is in his arms, right where she's supposed to be."

Kurt's eyes widened and terror seized him as the rich, familiar tones of that voice washed over him.

_This can't be happening_ , he thought in a panic. Sebastian couldn't have found them, he couldn't be in his home, holding his- _their-_ his daughter, Kurt's worst nightmare stood in his living room with his child in his arms and there was nothing he could do about it. He was terrified, rooted to the spot in horror but he knew he couldn't let his fear show or it would upset his – _their_ -daughter.

"Bas-"

"So you do remember my name," Sebastian said absently, walking into the kitchen and stirring the pasta, "what else do you remember about me, Kurt? Or should I say Sylvester?"

"Where's Dani?" Kurt asked, edging his way towards Sebastian, hoping to find some way to get Olivia into his arms and make a break for it.

"You left our daughter with an extremely gullible young woman, do you know that?" Sebastian said, kissing Olivia on the nose and making her giggle.

"Dani's great with Olivia. She's been watching her since we moved in here and-"

"Dani let me in here despite not having a clue who I was and then left our daughter in my care without your permission. I don't think I'd be singing her praises right now," Sebastian interrupted.

"You can be quite persuasive when you want something," Kurt said, inching closer.

"Daddy! Daddy's home, Papa Sebastian," Olivia said suddenly noticing Kurt and struggling to get out of Sebastian's arms. Kurt's heart dropped at the endearment, cold fear curling in his gut at the knowledge that Sebastian must have been alone with her long enough to have already told her he's her other father, that he had already claimed her and was probably there to kill him and take Olivia. Sebastian let Olivia go instantly and as soon as he had her safely in his arms Kurt turned and ran for the door. He threw it open and found Wes and Blaine waiting on the other side.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered.

"Don't Kurt," Blaine said quietly, "Believe it or not, I'm here because I don't want to see anything happen to you. So just…don't make him any angrier than he already is and don't make this harder on you-or her-than it needs to be."

Wes gave him a tentative, apologetic smile and gave Oliva a shy wave before pulling the door closed. Kurt trembled, holding Olivia to him, afraid to turn around and face Sebastian.

"Sit,  _Sylvester_. We have quite a bit to discuss."

Kurt crossed the room on wooden legs and sat at the table. Olivia twisted in his arms, fighting to be free but Kurt was afraid to let her go.

"I think our daughter wants to get down and play, I suggest you let her." Sebastian said quietly.

Kurt turned a look of pure venom on Sebastian but kissed Olivia on the forehead and let go. She trudged back to her room and a few moments later Kurt heard her banging away on her tiny tots drum set.

"How did you find us?" Kurt asked, because he  _needed_ to know. He'd been so cautious, so very careful. He wracked his brain trying to come up with a mistake he'd made but he couldn't find one.

A wry smile twists Sebastian's lips. "Don't worry, sweet cheeks. You didn't get sloppy if that's what you're wondering. It was a coincidence. You know the new kid in your music class?"

Kurt paused, recalled the sea of little faces that he worked with during the week and zeroed in on a new one. "Andre Thompson?"

"That's the one," Sebastian said smiling at Kurt expectantly, as if Kurt should have been able to figure things out on his own.

"What about him?"

Sebastian shook his head, the smile dropping off his face. "Oh come on now, babe, I thought you were smarter than this. Think  _Sylvester_ ," he said harshly, "kid remind you of anyone?"

Confusion blanketed Kurt as he searched his brain and tried to understand how the five year old played any part in Blaine's finding him. Andre was a cute kid; cocoa skin and chocolate brown eyes, a wide, warm smile and an open, friendly personality. He loved singing and the little guy was a natural leader, always trying to organize the other kids into groups-.

"Oh no," Kurt breathed, as the color drained from his face.

"Oh yes," Sebastian countered, leaning across the table.

Andre  _Thompson._ Suddenly the puzzle pieces slid into place. Kurt had taken to the little boy immediately, bowled over by his warm smile, natural talent and friendly demeanor. Just like Kurt had taken to his uncle what felt like a lifetime ago.

"David's nephew is really something isn't he?" Sebastian asked conversationally. "You're his favorite teacher you know. I guess the Thompson men all find you  _endearing_ ," Sebastian sneered.

Kurt shook his head. "But how-"

"David saw you. He's watching him for a few days while Angelique-"

"-has her tonsils taken out. Andre…he said his uncle was visiting while his mommy had surgery."

"And Monday you walked Andre out of the building and sat with him on the steps until David got there to pick him up."

The memory flew up and Kurt cringed. He wasn't supposed to have waited with Andre that day. It had been Cassanda, his aide's turn to wait with the car riders and make sure everyone got picked up but she'd had an audition and Kurt knew that Dani never minded when he was a few minutes late so he'd switched with her. He remembered taking Andre's hand and leading him out of the building, Andre's cheerful face explaining his "Uncle Dave" was watching him while his mommy was in the hospital, them sitting on the front steps singing the theme songs to Andre's favorite cartoons to pass the time and the silver Lexus with the tinted windows that Andre sprinted towards, throwing a casual wave over his shoulder at Kurt as a goodbye.

The silver Lexus that had hadn't moved for five minutes after Andre got in the car.

Kurt wanted to cry. All these years of being cautious and careful and so damn lonely had all come crumbling down because of the combination of one cosmic coincidence and one (stupid) random act of kindness.

"David was understandably confused as to why his nephew kept calling you Mr. Hudson, and when he mentioned to Wes that he'd seen you-"

"He didn't…he doesn't know-"

"Of course he doesn't fucking know," Sebastian fired back, "Everyone thinks we got a divorce and you went underground. No one knows you took off with my kid. Poor guy thought you had a doppelganger running around Portland."

Kurt closed his eyes. Tried to push awey the panic and come up with a plan but there were too many unanswered questions swirling around in his head like pieces of confetti.

His eyes flew open. "They  _think_  we got a divorce?"

Sebastian smiled a cruel smile. "That's what I said."

"You didn't divorce me?"

"Now why would I do that?" Sebastian asked. "If you want a divorce Kurt, you're gonna have to earn it."

"Why are you here, Sebastian?" Kurt whispered lowly, resolutely ignoring both the suggestive undertones and implied threat of Sebastian's statement. He tried to remain calm, mindful of their daughter just a few feet down the hall.

"You shouldn't be teaching little children if you're this slow on the uptake, Kurt. I told you already, I came for what's mine," Sebastian hissed, rising from his chair and coming to stand over Kurt. His fingers trailed lightly through Kurt's hair, toying with the strands.

Kurt's stomach dropped into his knees and his heart threatened to explode. "Bas-"

"You have an hour, Kurt."

He had one hour, 60 minutes, 3600 seconds to what? Say his goodbyes to his daughter?

"I'm not letting you take her from me," Kurt said, his voice strong with a confidence he didn't feel.

Sebastian's fingers tightened in Kurt's hair, not enough to cause pain but just mild discomfort. "You don't call the shot's here, petite agneau. Now, as I was saying, you have an hour to pack whatever you and Nic-I mean, Olivia, need."

"Pack?" Kurt repeated dully, confused.

"Kurt, I've been here for hours. If I just wanted Olivia, I would have been gone before you got home. No, sweetheart, I want what belongs to me. All of it," he said as he dropped Kurt's wedding ring onto the table in front of him.

"And I'm not leaving here without it."

"I don't belong to you, Bas. Not anymore." Kurt said pushing the ring away from him.

"Oh but you do, petit agneau," Sebastian said tightening his fingers a fraction more.

"No I don't," Kurt fired back, sparks of anger breaking through his fear as he slapped Sebastian's hand away. "Livvie and I have a life here, Bas. I have a job. I have friends and I responsibilities and obligations here. Livvie has friends and play groups, dance class and voice; she just got accepted to a fast track program for pre-school. You have no right to come here and-"

"I have every right!" Sebastian yelled, slamming his fist onto the table top. "You belong to me, Kurt. Both of you belong to me and I can see now that I'm gonna have to remind you of that."

"Shut up," Kurt hissed. "You're going to upset Livvie if she hears us arguing. She hates yelling. And we're _people_ , Bas not property. Slavery is illegal. You don't own me and you can't make me-"

"Don't finish that statement," Sebastian warned lowly. "Because we both know that I can make you do anything I damn well please and if you push me any further Kurt, I swear to God I'll prove it to you. Stop trying my patience, husband of mine. Put on the god damn ring and pack a fucking bag before I lose my temper," Sebastian said stalking away from Kurt to go lean against the kitchen counter.

"Or you'll what, Bas?" Kurt fired back, as he shot to his feet. "I'm not afraid of you," he lied. "I took Olivia and I left so that she could have the life she deserves. She's  _happy_ , Bas. She's happy and she's  _safe._  Just go. Go home and blow up some more widows and children but leave me and my daughter the hell alone. We don't belong to you and I'm not about to let you wreck the life we've built here because you're on some sick power trip. Now take your guards, take that ring, take your threats, get the hell out of my house and don't _ever_  come back."

Sebastian stood still and then a dangerous grin spread across his face and he clapped slowly. "Bravo, Kurt. Truly moving performance. Gets me right here," Sebastian said, and placed a hand over his heart. "But this isn't a Lifetime movie," he said his face darkening as he pushed himself off the counter. "No heartfelt speech is going to save your ass."

"Just go, Bas. Leave us alone. Can't you see this is what's best for her? You said you were here for hours, can't you see she's happy?" Kurt asked, his voice cracking slightly as he pleaded with his husband.

"Leave you alone?" Sebastian growled, crossing the room and grabbing Kurt by his upper arms. "Disappearing is your trick, Houdini. I'm  _never_  going to leave you alone. There isn't a corner in hell that you could've run to where I wouldn't have found you. There's no place you can go where I won't follow. I will haunt you to the ends of the earth and back if that's what it takes. Now, you have forty-five minutes left. Get your ass in the bedroom and pack a bag or-"

"Sylvester! Sly! Who are these guys out here? Are you and Livvie okay in there, sweet pea?" A voice suddenly rang out and interrupted Sebastian's tirade.

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut.  _Chandler_. His neighbor and would be suitor of the past six months was outside his door making enough noise to rouse even Ms. Rhodes in 3E from her alcohol induced midday nap.

When he opened them, Sebastian's expression had twisted from anger to one of pure rage.

" _Who is that_?"

The question hung heavy in the air. Kurt cleared his throat and raised his chin just a fraction in defiance. "None of your business."

"Everything about you is my business," Sebastian volleyed back.

The sound of a scuffle came from on the other side of the door. "Sweet pea? Sly? I- _ **hey**_! Unhand me you brute! I have pepper spray and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"Answer the door, Kurt," Sebastian ordered. "And don't get cute. You try anything funny and I won't hold back, understood?"

Kurt nodded jerkily and with a heavy heart made his way across the apartment to his front door. He opened it to reveal Blaine holding Chandler in a hammerlock as Wes removed a canister of pepper spray from Chandler's hand.

"You break it you bought it, you roughneck thug!" Chandler yelped.

"Blaine!" Kurt yelled, "Let him go. Chandler, shh. You're going to scare Livvie with all this racket."

" _I'm_  going to scare Livvie?" Chandler asked. He glared at Blaine. "I'm not sure how they do it in the shire buddy but here in civilized society we don't assault people for trying to knock on their friend's door."

"The shire? Oh I'll show you how we do it in the shire you pretentious motherfu-"

"Blaine, please," Kurt pleaded. "Chandler stop. You guys are making a scene and you're going to upset Livvie if she hears all this fighting."

"Sly, Sweet Pea, I'd never upset our little ladybug," Chandler said instantly lowering the volume on his voice. "As long as Thing One and Thing Two keep their hands to themselves everything should be easy peezy lemon squeazy. Speaking of Livvie, where is she anyway? I saw the most darling tutu at the boutique next door to work today and you simply must see it. It has  _ostrich feathers,_  Sly. She'd be the most fashionable of all the little diva's at the recital Saturday. I still can't believe our little ladybug is the lead! Oh, I'm giddy just thinking about it."

Kurt could feel it as Sebastian grew tenser and tenser with every word Chandler said. Kurt usually loved how enthusiastic and excited Chandler could be but at that moment he cursed the other man's lack of a filter and inability to censor himself.

"Who might this be,  _Sly_?" Sebastian asked, snaking an arm around Kurt's waist and drawing him close.

"This-"

"Chandler Kiehl, apartment 4F, future interior designer to the stars, current assistant manager at IKEA. And who might you be?" Chandler asked, pointedly staring at Sebastian's arm around Kurt's waist.

"Sebastian Smythe, and let's just say that I'm self-employed," he responded with a smile.

"Pleasure," Chandler deadpanned. "And how do we know Sebastian?" 

"Oh, we go way back, don't we love?" Sebastian answered nuzzling into the side of Kurt's neck.

"Chandler," Kurt began softly, seeing the pain in the other man's eyes. Even though Kurt had never let their relationship go further than friendship he knew the other man had feelings for him and seeing Kurt in Sebastian's arms must have hurt. "Sebastian is-"

"Sebastian is a very busy man who's grown bored with this conversation. Goodbye Chandler. I'd say it was nice to meet you but you're not worth the effort it would take me to lie," Sebastian interrupted, yanking Kurt back from the threshold. "Wes, make sure Chandler finds his way back to 4F," he added, closing the door on Chandler's indignant protests.

Kurt shoved Sebastian away from him and scowled. "You are an ass. That was unnecessary and cruel."

"Oh no,  _Sweet Pea_ , it was very necessary," Sebastian snarled. "Don't get me wrong, sucks that you're gonna lose access to that sweet, sweet employee discount but when we get home I'll take you to the nearest day spa and we'll find you a nice, new sassy gay friend to replace that one, okay?"

"Don't mock him," Kurt snapped. "You don't know anything about Chandler-"

"Chandler Keihl, 25, middle child of Amber and Bruce Keihl of Columbus, Ohio," Sebastian recited coolly. "Brother of Josh and Amanda Keihl, graduate of Thomas Jefferson High school and The Lennox Design Institute. No kids, never married, works the eight to four-thirty shift at the Ikea over on North Beaton, takes you out to lunch at least three times a week-yesterday he had a tofu burger and sweet potato fries. Do I need to go on?"

The color drained out of Kurt's face. "You…you're  _stalking_  me? Running background checks on my friends? What gives you the right? Who do you think you are?"

" _What gives me the right_? This ring gives me the right," Sebastian said, raising his hand and pointing to his wedding band. "That little girl in there, the little girl you  _stole_  from me, gives me the right. The vows you took and the promises you  _broke_ , give me the right. Til death do us, petit and you aren't dead-yet. If I were you I'd stop pissing me off and start trying to keep it that way."

"You're  _insane_ , do you realize that? You fly across the country, stalk me, break into my home, threaten me, insult my friends and expect me to just follow orders like a good boy? Fuck you, Bas," Kurt snapped. "I'm not afraid of you and I don't care what your childhood trauma was. My daughter and I aren't going anywhere with you and you can't make us."

Sebastian's entire expression shifted from one of almost detached amusement to one of pure, unadulterated danger. He took a single step towards Kurt and then stopped and curled his hands into fists. He clenched his eyes shut and his body vibrated with tension as he visibly tried to get himself back under control.

"You have forty minutes left. Go into the bedroom and pack or so help me God I will lay waste to anyone and everyone you hold dear, starting with our boy in 4F and ending with dear old dad."

The words hit Kurt like a body blow. He stood silently, unblinking at Sebastian as he let the threat sink in. Fear rendered him mute for several moments but he forced himself take a deep, shuddering breath before he lifted his chin defiantly and looked Sebastian in the eye.

"You're lying," he said as he strained to keep his voice even. "You wouldn't hurt my family. You l-love them."

"You don't get it, do you?" Sebastian said quietly. "I will do whatever I have to, to whomever I have to, to get back what's mine. It's up to you Kurt. Either you get your ass in the bedroom and pack or your nearest and dearest start dropping like flies."

"Stop this, Bas. Just…please."

"You want me stop? Then stop me. You have all the power here, Kurt. All you have to do is go get our baby girl and come home."

"Why?" Kurt demanded. " _Why_  are pushing this so hard? You know where I am. I'll never be able to run again." Kurt pointed out. "Why can't you just leave us here, come visit when you can, build a relationship with Olivia without ripping us out of our life? I-I won't keep you from her anymore."

"You know, I would take you up on that if all I wanted was my daughter. But she's not all I want," Sebastian said as he let his eyes travel up and down Kurt's form and to his shame, Kurt felt himself flush under his husband's gaze.

"What do you want from me?" Kurt asked.

Sebastian crossed the room and took Kurt's wedding ring off the kitchen table and walked toward him. "I want you to give me your hand." After several tense moments Kurt gave in and did as he was asked. "That's a good boy," Sebastian murmured. "What I want from you is simple, Kurt. I want you to wear your ring," Sebastian said as he slid the platinum band back onto Kurt's finger. "I want you to pack-and pack quickly because you only have a half an hour and very little good will left. And most importantly I want you to suffer."

Kurt's breath hitched and his heart dropped to his shoes. Even in his worst nightmares of Sebastian finding them things had never played out like this. He'd imagined Sebastian taking Olivia and never letting Kurt see her again or even killing him but he'd never thought that Sebastian would force him to return to him, keep him prisoner, force him to stay by his side while Sebastian played out whatever revenge fantasies his imagination had come up with in the last three years.

"So you want to keep me with you so you can punish me?" Kurt asked dully, nearly choking on the bile that rose up in his throat at the thought.

Sebastian smiled and advanced on Kurt until he had him crowded up against the wall. He pushed into Kurt's personal space, caged his body with his hands and used his nearness to press Kurt's body back into the wall. He leaned down, and his breath ghosted across Kurt's ear as he whispered, "You used to love it when I punished you. Took all I had to give and begged me for more."

Sebastian's closeness, the smell of his cologne and feel of his body pressed up against him along with the suggestive words evoked images and released memories that Kurt had forced himself to lock away. Desire bloomed in Kurt's chest, unexpected and strong, and he wanted desperately to pull Sebastian closer, tangle his fingers in his hair and kiss him until they were both breathless but he didn't dare.

"Get away from me," Kurt growled, his own desire scaring him enough to give him the strength to strike out. "This jacket is Dior and I don't want it covered in the stench of unmitigated jackass." Kurt tried to push Sebastian away but the other man refused to allow Kurt even an inch of personal space. "I said get off, Sebastian."

Sebastian laughed low and dirty, and the sound sent spikes of fear and arousal racing though Kurt's blood. "Get off? I don't mind if I do," Sebastian chuckled as he grabbed Kurt's wrists and wrenched his arms up above his head, pinning him to the wall. He squeezed, causing enough pain to make Kurt gasp out loud. "You want me to get off, Kurt? Is this what you wanted?" he asked as he bit down harshly on the sensitive skin behind Kurt's ear.

Fuck you," Kurt spat, striking out with his heel and stomping down on Sebastian's foot in an attempt to get the other man to loosen his grip.

Sebastian grimaced in pain before he recovered. "Oh no petit, it'll be me fucking you," he swore before slamming Kurt back against the wall so hard the pictures beside him rattled and dropped to the floor and the sound of broken glass and splintering wood echoed throughout the apartment.

"Our daughter is in the next room," Kurt reminded Sebastian, as he struggled to get free. "I don't want her to come in here and see this."

"Then be a good little bitch, shut up and take it," Sebastian grunted as he forced his thigh in between Kurt's legs.

Kurt opened his mouth to respond but Sebastian suddenly covered Kurt's lips with his own in a brutal, claiming kiss.

Sebastian took Kurt's mouth like an animal takes its mate; raw and primal, unyielding in his desire and unbending in his will. Sebastian forced his tongue into Kurt's mouth, demanded and took his pleasure, kissing Kurt as if he were trying to brand his name across his soul.

Kurt's resistance faded the moment Sebastian's lips touched his. He was almost ashamed of how eagerly he clung to his husband, how easily he yielded to Sebastian and simply allowed the other man to take whatever he wanted. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was dimly aware that there were a myriad of reasons he shouldn't  _–couldn't_ \- allow Sebastian to simply take him up against the wall in his living room, their daughter being in the next room chief among them, but it had been so long and Kurt had been so lonely, missed Sebastian so much, ached for his touch for so long that he didn't have it in him to deny either of them.

Sebastian shared none of Kurt's inner conflict and settled himself in between Kurt's legs, letting go of one of Kurt's wrists to undo his slacks.

"You still want me," Sebastian murmured, and Kurt swore he heard a note of vulnerability in his husband's voice. But as quickly as it had come, it was gone, replaced with stark hunger as Sebastian yanked his pants down and went to work on Kurt's.

The sound of ripping fabric pulled Kurt out of the haze of lust he'd been enveloped in. "Don't rip my jeans, you ass," Kurt snapped, lust making his voice thick and rough.

"If you didn't wear painted on pants I wouldn't have to rip them off of you," Sebastian huffed, as he shoved Kurt's pants down by his knees and moaned when he saw Kurt had gone commando. "Jesus Christ, babe you're killing me," he said as he jerked down his own pants and boxers in one pull.

Kurt scarcely had time to register what was happening before Sebastian was licking his palm and wrapping his hand around both of their erections. "Look at you," Sebastian whispered. "Hard, leaking, aching for me. You want it, you always did, you always will. Chandler make you feel like this? You let him have you? Did you give him what was mine?" Sebastian asked hotly, biting down on Kurt's ear as he stroked them together.

"N-not y-yours," Kurt stuttered out, determined to maintain some type of control even though his body had betrayed him. "I don't want this.  I don't want you. This doesn't mean anything," he groaned.

"Liar, yes you do and this means  _everything_ ," Sebastian moaned as he rocked against him, their cocks slipping and sliding together within the tight circle of his fist. "Means you're mine, always mine."

Kurt couldn't do anything except hold on as Sebastian continued to milk their cocks, rolling and grinding his hips while he whispered filth into Kurt's ear. Heat gathered and built in Kurt's abdomen and his thighs shook as his orgasm ripped through him. Kurt closed his eyes and bit down on Sebastian's shoulder to keep from yelling out.

Kurt's bite and his climax was enough to send Sebastian over the edge. He came quick and dirty, sucking on Kurt's bottom lip  and panting into his mouth as he covered Kurt's thighs and lower half with his spunk.

"Mine," Sebastian whispered as he kissed Kurt on the forehead. "You're  _mine_. Always and in all ways, mine."

"Oh my God," Kurt breathed out, letting his head drop back against the wall. "I can't believe I let you do that to me. Oh my God, Livvie could have walked in," Kurt said, as shame rolled over him in waves and made him flush a delicate pink.

"She didn't though," Sebastian said, looking around and grabbing a box of Kleenex off of a nearby dresser, cleaning up before he tucked himself in and tossed the box to Kurt. "Clean up and get our daughter ready to go," he said coldly.

"I told you I'm not-"

"I'm done playing with you," Sebastian said, anger in his eyes. "I meant what I said. I will destroy everyone you hold dear. I will end them, Kurt and if that isn't enough motivation for you, think about this: I'll have you arrested for kidnapping," Sebastian swore. "You took our child, changed her name, forged documents, stole years of her life from me. I could make it so you never see her again and you spend the rest of your life in a cage…surrounded by some of my friends, and some of my enemies. You want to test me? Take your chances?"

Sebastian's face was like granite; hard, cold and implacable. Kurt had no doubt that if he refused to go with him Sebastian would make good on his threats. His family and his friends would bear the brunt of Sebastian's rage and Sebastian would have him thrown into prison, where his chances for survival would be slim to none.

Worse than that, Sebastian would take Livvie from him. She'd grow up surrounded by death and violence with only Sebastian's broken moral compass to guide her. No matter what Sebastian had planned for him, what he would do him or put him through, Kurt couldn't allow himself to be separated from his child. He couldn't sacrifice her to her father's world without a fight.

"No," Kurt whispered, blinking back tears as he gave in and acknowledged that Sebastian held all the power in their current situation. He cleaned himself off and stripped off his soiled shirt, changing into the t-shirt he'd discarded that morning on the couch in his haste to get out of the door.

"Good boy. See, following directions isn't so hard, now is it? Now go get Olivia-nice of you to name her after my grandmother by the way- and let's go," Sebastian said, straightening his clothes and putting his jacket back on.

"I haven't packed anything!" Kurt protested. "If you think I'm leaving here without Olivia's things and my clothes you are sorely mistaken. I just bought a brand new Fereric Maldanovo that I practically had to sell my soul for. And I-"

Sebastian held up a hand. "You are a bitchy queen, you know that?" Sebastian sighed. "Just pack what you'll need for the night, Kurt and anything Olivia just can't do without. I'll have someone come by and clean out the apartment tomorrow and send the rest of your stuff, okay? Happy?"

"Thrilled," Kurt responded drily as he stepped around Sebastian. "Your generosity knows no bounds."

"What can I say? I'm a giver," Sebastian quipped.

"Of STD's and misery," Kurt muttered under his breath.

"What was that, dear?"

"Nothing honey," Kurt replied with false sweetness.

"Careful Kurt, you're getting dangerously close to being disrespectful."

"Oh heavens, we wouldn't want that, now would we?"

Sebastian's eyes narrowed. "No, no petit, you  _don't_  want that. I've been nice, Kurt. Don't push your luck."

Kurt nodded and walked out of the room. He quietly made his way into Olivia's bedroom and took a deep breath to steady himself. "Hey lady bug, daddy has a surprise for you. Papa came to take us away on an adventure."

Olivia looked up at Kurt and regarded him for a few moments. "No." She said simply. "I don't feel like having adventures today. I'm playing Finn the Drummer and then I'm going to have a bubble bath and you're going to tell me a Princess Rachel story. Tell papa to come back tomorrow and we'll have adventures then."

Kurt was startled by the sound of Sebastian's laughter. "You don't want to go on an adventure with me, baby girl?"

Olivia shook her head. "Daddy is going to tell me Princess Rachel stories. Do you know about Princess Rachel?"

"I have an idea," Sebastian said gently. "Why don't you tell me about Princess Rachel?"

"She's the prettiest princess ever. She rules over the Land of Lima with her twelve lords and ladies. She's small and brave and she sings the best in all the land. Not better than daddy though and not better than me, but that's ok because we don't live in the Land of Lima," Olivia said seriously. She stared at Sebastian then cocked her head to the side. "Can you sing?" she asked.

"I can," Sebastian answered.

"Good," Olivia said. "Uncle Chandler tries to sing me lullabies but he's toad dead and it makes me sad. Daddy says it's sweet of him to try but I think he's tried enough and should just give up."

"Olivia!" Kurt admonished as Sebastian laughed. "It's tone deaf and remember what daddy said? Uncle Chandler has other talents."

Olivia scowled. "S'not funny, it's true," she insisted. "That's what I said. He's toad dead and loud and hurts my ears."

"Olivia," Kurt warned.

"Well, I promise I'm not toad dead," Sebastian said with a wink.

"Prove it," Olivia demanded.

Sebastian gave his daughter a fond look and began to sing.

" _The sun goes down_ _  
_ _The stars come out_ _  
_ _And all that counts_ _  
_ _Is here and now_ _  
_ _My universe will never be the same_ _  
_ _I'm glad you came-"_

"Daddy, it's Prince Meerkat's song!" Olivia interrupted, as she clapped and squealed with delight. "How do you know Prince Meerkat's song?" she demanded, turning to Sebastian.

"Prince Meerkat?" Sebastian asked Kurt quietly.

"Bas-"

"Yes, Prince Meerkat," Olivia interrupted. "He's the Prince of the country of West'rville. At first people think he's mean, but he's not. He's the strongest, bravest, smartest most handsomest Prince and he sings the best, even better than Princess Rachel."

"Wow, he sounds pretty amazing," Sebastian said, staring at Kurt.

"He's daddy's favorite," Olivia said seriously.

"Is he now," Sebastian asked carefully, his eyes still on Kurt.

"Belle always was my favorite of all the Disney princesses. Figures I'd fall for my own furry beast," Kurt said, attempting to make a joke.

"No," Olivia interrupted again. "I'm sorry daddy but you can't be Belle anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because," Olivia said, drawing out the word. "Papa's name is Sebastian. You have to be Ariel now. I'm Melody." She turned to Sebastian. "I'm sorry you're a crab and not a Prince but you do get the best songs in the whole movie so it's fair."

"Well, I'm honored to be your crab," Sebastian said, kissing Olivia on her forehead. "Are you sure you don't want to go on an adventure with me?"

Olivia studied him for a moment. "Daddy's coming?"

"Absolutely," Sebastian said swiftly. His heated gaze swept over Kurt again. "I'd never leave your daddy behind, Princess."

"Will I be back in time to dance on Saturday? I'm the Fairy Queen and not one of the trees or a sprite like Carmen so I'm special and I have to be there," she informed Sebastian.

Kurt bit his lip. "Sweetie, I-"

"I promise you'll get to dance on Saturday. And daddy and I will be in the front row cheering you on," Sebastian broke in.

Kurt blinked back the sudden flood of tears at Sebastian's unexpected kindness. The small act of mercy reminded Kurt of the compassionate soul Sebastian was underneath his tough demeanor and made him ache for the mad he'd fallen in love with, the man he'd married _. Thank you_ , he mouthed silently.

Sebastian shrugged and turned back to Olivia. "So, do we have a deal? You and daddy will come with me now and we'll have an adventure and Saturday we'll make sure you get here in plenty of time for your recital?"

"What kind of adventure?" Olivia asked cautiously. "Daddy says you don't make 'greements 'til you gots all the information."

"Well," said Sebastian as he sat down and leaned forward, mischief making his eyes sparkle. "What kind of adventure would you like to have?" he asked Olivia.

"One with toys," she answered promptly. "And new clothes because daddy says you can never be too fabless. And a puppy and a pony and cupcakes and Pretty Princess Rachel and minstins to do my bidding."

"Oh my God," Kurt laughed. "Minions? Where did you even…really Livvie?"

"I think can arrange a few minions," Sebastian said smoothly. "And plenty of toys and clothes and maybe even a puppy."

"You forgot my cupcakes, pony and Pretty Princess Rachel," Olivia sniffed.

"Olivia!" Kurt said. "What have said about asking for presents?"

"It's tacky and rude and makes people look greedy," Olivia recited. "But people will never know I want presents if I don't tell them," she reasoned.

"I promise to get your cupcakes and talk to your daddy about a pony and a puppy, deal?" Sebastian cut in.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and screwed up her face in concentration. "Deal," she said finally, sticking her hand out for Sebastian to shake.

Kurt couldn't help the smile that spread over his face as he watched his husband and his daughter smile at each other and shake hands. It made him long for the family they could have been and the life they could have had if it weren't for Sebastian's business.

"Well Kurt," Sebastian said, pulling him from his thoughts. "You heard the little lady. A deal's a deal. Time to go."   
  
Kurt nodded silently. He had no choice; it was time to go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harsh truths and painful consequences collide.

The moment he stepped onto the plane Kurt realized he was really and truly at Sebastian's mercy. Flint and Jeff were on board, as well as Wes and Thad. Kurt wrinkled his nose in distaste at the sight of him. He and Thad had never managed to get along, the other man harboring resentment at Kurt over his relationships with both Blaine and Sebastian and Kurt being more than a little annoyed by Thad's inability to be subtle in his desire to replace Kurt in both men's beds and hearts.

To Kurt's dismay, Thad sat directly behind him and had wasted no time in letting Kurt know what he thought of him and his betrayal, delighting in telling him how he had always known Kurt wasn't cut out for "the life" and hinting that the moment Sebastian no longer had any use for him he'd be more than happy to arrange for Kurt to have an "accident".

Next to Thad sat Wes who had chosen to express his anger at Kurt through disapproving looks and pointedly ignoring the brunette's existence. Blaine had taken a seat across from Kurt, next to Sebastian and tried to overcompensate for the tense atmosphere on the jet by making fast friends with Olivia and engaging the little girl in a heated debate over whether pink was better than purple  _("No, Blaine. Daddy says purple is the color of royalty and since I'm a princess I'm purple and since I'm purple that makes purple the best."_ ) Kurt tried to take comfort in the fact that his daughter was seated beside him and they were still together but he couldn't help but feel that Thad was glaring a hole into the back of his head and he couldn't keep his eyes from drifting to the seat across from him where Sebastian sat. It seemed that every time he looked up, Sebastian was staring at him or Olivia with a look of angry possession etched across his face.

The entire experience had Kurt more than a little unsettled.

Kurt had no idea where Sebastian was taking them and he didn't have the courage to ask. Sebastian had told him they were going "home" and Kurt had assumed he'd meant New York but he had no guarantee of that. Three years ago Sebastian had owned a half a dozen homes scattered all about the globe and theoretically Sebastian could spirit he and Olivia off to any one of them and no one would know where to find him or even that he needed to be found. Kurt Hummel and Nicollette Smythe, barring one five minute phone call a year to Kurt's father, had ceased to exist three years ago and Sylvester Hudson technically didn't exist at all. Sebastian could take Kurt anywhere he wanted and do anything he wanted and in Sebastian's home, surrounded by Sebastian's men, no one would come to Kurt's rescue.

Kurt was full of nervous energy and his fingers restlessly tapped out a disjointed rhythm on his thigh. Sebastian leaned over and placed his hand over Kurt's. "Jesus Kurt, calm down. Just looking at you has me craving a valium."

Kurt glared at Sebastian and snatched his hand away. "So sorry that my inability to relax while being  _kidnapped_  has annoyed my captor," Kurt whispered. "I'll try harder to be a more considerate hostage."

Sebastian tightened his fingers on Kurt's thigh and dug in tight enough to leave bruises. "Watch yourself Kurt; our daughter's only so big. She's not much to hide behind."

"Fuck you," Kurt snapped back, his nerves frayed and his patience gone. "You're the one hiding behind Livvie, using her to control me, threaten me. You can kiss my ass, Sebastian."

Sebastian's face moved through a myriad of emotions in seconds. Anger, hurt, respect and even a little bit of pride flashed across his face before he smiled maliciously and stood up, leaning over to whisper into Kurt's ear. "Keep it up Kurt. The more you piss me off, the more fun it's going to be to break you down and make you suffer," he said before walking off in the direction of the cockpit.

"Great job  _Hummel_ ," Thad leaned and sneered. "You keep right on making him angry and he'll give the order to get rid of you that much sooner."

"It's  _Hummel-Smythe_  to you Thad and what goes on between me and my husband is none of your business," Kurt responded, his voice thick with scorn. Kurt was at the end of his rope, his filter was gone, Olivia had finally wound herself down enough to sleep, Sebastian was still talking with the pilot, and Kurt had never been overly fond of Thad to begin with. Any reason Kurt would have had to censor himself was, for the moment, nonexistent. "Your jealousy isn't nearly as entertaining as it used to be."

"My jealousy?" Thad scoffed. "Of what? You?"

"Yes," Kurt threw back. "You've  _always_  been jealous of me. First it was because even though you did everything but offer to blow him in the practice room you could never get Blaine to look at you twice but he fell in love with me in a couple of months. And then there's Bas," Kurt continued, "Sure he took you bed, but you  _never_ mattered to him and you still don't. No matter how you lick his boots and kiss his ass you'll never be anything more to him than a hired gun, a warm mouth and a willing hole," Kurt spat.

Thad turned an unhealthy shade of purple and then tried to reach over the seat and get his hands on Kurt. Wes grabbed him and pushed him back into his chair as Blaine rose to his feet and growled, "Don't even  _think_  about it Thad. You touch him and I will  _end_ you."

Thad glared at Blaine and then shook Wes off of him. "You just wait," Thad snarled. "You jumped up little twink,  _you just wait_. The  _second_  Sebastian says we can get rid of you, I'm gonna take you out personally. I usually use a knife but just for you I'm gonna use a wire. Tear your throat out, make sure that little voice you're so, so proud of gets ruined. Sneak up behind you and wrap it around your neck before-"

"I wasn't aware it was story time Thaddeus," Sebastian's voice suddenly sounded from the rear of the plane. "I have one I'd like to share," he said as he walked forward and stopped beside Thad. "When this plane lands, Blaine is going to take Kurt and Livvie home. While he's helping them settle in, you, me and the rest of the boys are going to go on a little trip. I'm gonna send you on a little vacation-someplace nice and hot."

Kurt's blood turned to ice and he turned wide, disbelieving eyes first on Blaine, then on his husband but neither man seemed to share his horror and Kurt could feel the anger and threat of violence rolling off the both of them in waves.

Kurt bowed his head and refused to believe that this was happening, that this was going to be his life. He refused to believe the things he'd said to Thad had actually come out of his mouth. He refused to believe that Blaine, the gentle, Katy Perry worshipping, Disney movie loving, non confrontational picture perfect gentleman he'd fallen for at sixteen stood before him with a gun on his hip and murder in his eyes. He refused to believe that Thad had just threatened to maim and murder him. He refused to believe that Sebastian had ordered Thad's execution and he absolutely refused to believe all of this had happened while his daughter slept less than a foot away from him.

"Bas-" Thad croaked out.

" _Boss_ ," Sebastian corrected. "I'm your boss. Just because I let you blow me on occasion and you ride dick like a rodeo pro doesn't mean you matter to me, Thad. It doesn't make you special and it doesn't mean the rules don't apply to you." Sebastian turned to Wes. "Wesley, what's rule number one?"

"No one takes from you or threatens what's yours," Wes replied immediately.

"But I didn't-"

" _But you did_ ," Sebastian barked, then cast a worried look at Olivia and lowered his voice. "Or have you forgotten that Kurt is my fucking husband?"

"You don't seem to care that you're married when you're fucking me," Thad fired back. "You'd kill me? You'd kill me and not him? Why Bas? Why is always him? Anyone else had done what he did and they'd never find the body. He betrayed you. He took your kid and he took off. I have been  _nothing_  but loyal to you, Bas. I've killed for you, damn near died for you, been there for you while he's been God knows where fucking God knows who-"

The crack of Sebastian's gun colliding with Thad's cheekbone and Thad's resulting scream of pain was so loud that Olivia was startled awake. Kurt immediately cuddled her to him, and Blaine stepped in close to hover over them, both men effectively keeping the little girl from being able to look over the seat behind her to see what was going on.

"It's  _always_  been him Thad and I never lied and told you differently," Sebastian bit out. "You had a place in my bed and on my payroll, never anything more," he said coldly. Sebastian turned to Flint, Wes and Jeff. "Take him to the back, boys. Shut his mouth,  _permanently_ ," Sebastian ordered.

Kurt covered Olivia's ears as Thad struggled, his curses increasing in volume and voracity as the trio dragged him to the back of the plane before there was a series of pained grunts and groans and then sudden, ominous silence.

Blaine stepped aside and Sebastian moved in front of Olivia and knelt down. "I'm very sorry all that noise woke you up, sweetheart," he said gently, every trace of the cold hearted killer he'd been seconds before completely fading into the picture of an indulgent, protective parent.

Olivia fixed Sebastian with an annoyed look. "Daddy says s'not polite to be loud when people are asleeps."

Sebastian smiled at Olivia. "Your daddy is quite right. It's really not polite at all."

"Why was he being so loud?" Olivia asked.

Kurt's heart seized at the dark look that crossed Sebastian's face and for a wild moment he feared Sebastian might just tell Olivia the truth and he rushed to fill the silence.

"Thad…uh..he..um" Kurt faltered.

"Thad got in trouble, sweetheart and he wasn't very happy about his punishment," Sebastian stepped in, saving Kurt.

"Oh," Olivia said as she nodded. "I know how he feels. I don't like time out either," she said as she squirmed on Kurt's lap to find a comfortable position. "He should have been quiet though. Tell him he's in extra trouble 'cause he said naughty words so he has to put money in the naughty jar. And tell him that throwing a tantrum means extra minutes in the corner and that he's a bad minstin for waking me up." She informed Sebastian before yawning and cuddling back down into Kurt's arms.

"He was a very bad minion," Sebastian agreed. "Don't worry baby girl," Sebastian murmured, stroking Olivia's hair as she drifted back off to sleep. "Thad's punishment is going to last a very, very long time."

Kurt closed his eyes and pulled Olivia closer to him. Despite the horror of the last hour and his terror at the thought that he might be trapped on a plane with a dead body on it, the physical and emotional exhaustion finally overtook him and he began to fall asleep. Just before he drifted off Kurt felt Sebastian card his fingers through his hair and brush a gentle kiss on his forehead.

* * *

Two hours later Kurt was sitting by Olivia's bedside watching her sleep and hoping that he'd get lucky and Sebastian would get called away on some urgent business so that he'd be spared from having to face his husband's wrath.

And his husband would be spared from having to face his.

Kurt was seething. The events on the plane played in an endless loop in his head and he couldn't believe that Sebastian had managed to expose Olivia to the violence and brutality of his world before they'd even made it home. As far as Kurt was concerned his worst nightmare had come true. Sebastian had ripped Kurt and Olivia from the safe, secure life Kurt had built for them and thrust them into a world of bloodshed and brutality with no regard for the emotional distress it would put them under.

It had taken every ounce of acting ability he had for Kurt to cheerfully dress his daughter in her pajamas and put her to bed without giving away how unnerved he was by the fact that Sebastian had somehow managed to create a perfect duplicate of the bedroom Kurt had designed for Olivia back in their apartment. From the children's books on the lilac and green shelves to the purple drum set with her spelled out in silver glitter to the princess style canopy bed, everything was spot on. Even the bedding and the stuffed animals along the window seat were the same. Kurt felt as if he'd been sucker punched when he realized that in order for Sebastian to have found exact reproductions of every book, piece of furniture and stuffed animal in Olivia's room he would have had to have had someone, some nameless, faceless phantom, in Kurt's home, violating his privacy, and pawing through his things.

To Olivia the room had been a comfort; she had instantly felt at ease and at home and fallen asleep with very little fuss. To Kurt it had been a reminder of just how powerful Sebastian was and just how far he could reach.

A soft knock on the frame of the bedroom door tore Kurt from his musings.

"We need to talk," Blaine said motioning for Kurt to follow him.

Kurt nodded, kissed Olivia on her forehead and followed Blaine into the living room.

As soon as the door closed, Kurt exploded.

"How could you?" he asked before Blaine could even utter a word. "How could you betray me like this? You could have warned me, Blaine! You're supposed to be my best friend and you-"

"Save the lecture, Kurt. You haven't exactly earned any gold medals in the best friend Olympics either." Blaine interrupted hotly. "Do you have any idea what I've been dealing with, what he's been like for the past three years? Do you have any idea how it wrecked him for you to walk out on him without a word, to take his kid, to spit on your vows and break your promises?"

Tendrils of guilt snaked up Kurt's spine and wrapped around him but he held tight to his anger and fired back, "You're right, Blaine. I wasn't around to see how much of a wreck Sebastian was because I was a little busy _running for my life!_  I fail to see how you're any better of a best friend than I am considering you let a psychopath force me onto a plane and away from the life I'd built for my daughter and I. I don't see where I owe you for anything-"

"I've been the one who had to put him back together when he fell apart at the seams," Blaine broke in heatedly. "I've been the one dealing with the nightmares and the breakdowns and the fits of rage. I'm the one who was here, repairing the damage and witnessing the destruction that you caused when you just up and left so yeah Kurt, you bet your ass you owe me."

Kurt felt all most of his anger at Blaine drain out of him. "H-how was Bas?" He asked. "After I mean," he clarified.

Blaine raised an eyebrow. "How do you think he was, Kurt? You know he acts out when he's hurting. His husband was gone. His child was gone. He had to try to track you down while saving face-"

"Oh yeah, because Heaven forbid Sebastian Smythe's pride take a hit," Kurt scoffed.

Blaine shook his head. "It had nothing to do with his pride, Kurt. You have no idea, none, what you did," Blaine yelled. "You don't have a clue what kind of danger you put yourself in, the danger you put your _daughter_ in. Have you even thought about the danger you put  _Sebastian_  in? If the truth had gotten out he would have appeared weak and appearing weak in this business is the first step on the road to retirement." Kurt paled at the implication behind Blaine's words but his friend ignored him and continued on. "If any of the sharks had smelled the blood in the water they would have gone after all three of you. You only think you were running for your life trying to hide from Seb. Imagine hiding from every single enemy he has. If the wrong people had known you were out there, unprotected and vulnerable, they would have used you two against him. They wouldn't have hesitated to kill you. They wouldn't have hesitated to kill Olivia.  You have no idea, none, what your stunt could have cost everyone. Did you even think about anyone other than yourself?"

"It wasn't a stunt and I wasn't thinking of me! I was thinking about Livvie!" Kurt snapped. "God Blaine, do you think I  _wanted_ to leave my husband? I love Bas; I love him so much I feel it in my bones but I couldn't raise our daughter with body guards and bullet proof glass and too terrified to turn the key in the ignition of the god damn car every time we got ready to go out!"

"You don't get to have it both ways here, Kurt," Blaine sighed. "Now I'm the first to admit that you weren't…adequately prepared like you should have been to handle this life and deal with the less…pleasant aspects of it. But you also weren't completely in the dark. When you married Seb, when you chose to bring a child into the equation, you knew who he was and you knew what he did."

"Only in the abstract," Kurt defended. "I didn't know what he was capable of becoming. Bas has always had a mean streak; I know that better than most and maybe the fact that he tried to give me his own special version of a chemical peel in the form of a face full of rock salt senior year should have clued me into the fact that he can be dangerous but I never, not once ever, thought he was the kind of man that would murder a woman and her unborn child! That's not the man I married. That's not the man I wanted to have children with."

 "Kurt-"

"I told myself that he only k-killed people he had to in order to protect himself or…the people he killed were bad," Kurt laughed a touch hysterically. "I actually let myself believe that Sebastian never hurt anyone who didn't somehow deserve it. That's not true though," he whispered, his voice breaking. "That's not true and he doesn't see how wrong that is."

Blaine shook his head. "He's not going through the phone book picking out random people and having them whacked, Kurt. Seb has never targeted an innocent or taken out a contract on someone if it wasn't absolutely necessary."

Kurt stared at Blaine. "What about my family? He threatened them, Blaine. My dad, Carole, Rachel, Finn…he used everyone I care for like a weapon against me to get me to come back here."

"You forced his hand, Kurt." Blaine held his hand up to forestall Kurt's interruption. "I'm not saying it was right, but he was desperate. You know he'd never hurt them or you, Kurt. Seb wouldn't hurt anyone he actually cared about. That's not the kind of person he is and if you were thinking clearly right now you'd know that."

Kurt gaped at Blaine. "What kind of drugs are you on, Blaine? Were you not on the plane? Did you not see what happened with Thad? Sebastian's been sleeping with him and he didn't hesitate to have him killed!"

"If he hadn't I would have," Blaine stated baldly. "I don't know if you've conveniently wiped it from your memory in your determination to brand Seb as the Anti-Christ, but  _Thad had been_   _threatening to kill you since you got on the god damn plane, Kurt!_ He had officially crossed the line. You're off limits; you always have been and the guys have always known it. You're  _family_  Kurt, and no one threatens family and gets away with it."

Kurt's brain stuttered, stopped and then caught back up with what Blaine had said. "W-what do you mean, you would have? Blaine? You aren't capable of…you've never…have you?"

Blaine crossed the room and pulled Kurt into a hug. "No one threatens family," Blaine whispered, sidestepping Kurt's question as he pressed a chaste kiss to Kurt's temple. "Seb and I aren't that different, Kurt. We grew up in the same world by the same rules. We'll both do what we have to do to keep ourselves and those we love safe. The only difference is that my father gave me the luxury of a choice and his didn't. I don't expect you understand, not completely, but for the sake of everyone involved I need you to try."

Kurt closed his eyes and felt the burn of tears beneath his tears as he let his friend comfort him. He didn't know how to reconcile the gentle person he'd always known Blaine to be with his implicit confession that he was capable of the same type of violence that Sebastian was. It was too much to deal with on top of an already taxing day so Kurt just allowed himself to sag into the embrace and breathe in the familiar, comforting scent of his best friend. Of all the people he'd left behind, Blaine was among those he'd missed the most. They'd gone from best friends to boyfriends to lovers back to best friends without ever falling out of sync with one another. In some ways Blaine was more of a brother to him than Finn and knew him better than Sebastian. Leaving him behind had hurt almost as much leaving Sebastian and even though he hadn't chosen to come home of his own free will, there was a part of him that was undeniably happy to have his best friend back.

Kurt took a shuddering breath and answered Blaine. "I don't know if I can," he mumbled. "I don't…it was never real," he explained. "I knew but it was never real. Not until the funeral. I got scared and he wouldn't talk to me and we had a baby and _I got scared, Blaine."_

Blaine rubbed a soothing hand down Kurt's back. "You should have come to me," he repeated. "I would have helped you, could have at least listened, given you someone to talk to. But Kurt, getting scared is one thing," he murmured, "Getting gone is another. You shouldn't have run."

"Once I'd made up my mind to leave I couldn't talk to you," Kurt admitted. "I…called my dad but I couldn't call you. I told you when we were kids that I'd never say goodbye to you," Kurt said with a sad smile. "I knew if I heard your voice I'd lose my nerve and I'd stay."

"If that's the case then I really wish you'd come to me," Blaine said softly. "God Kurt, I wish you'd done just about anything else. You running just made everything so much worse."

"I didn't know what else to do," Kurt confessed. "I panicked, Blaine. All I could see was our daughter growing up in a world where the people surrounding her thought they had they had the right to play judge, jury and executioner, where she'd learn that it was okay to torture and kill people and I just panicked. I didn't want that for her, I still don't."

"Oh Kurt," Blaine soothed. "I know that coming from the guy who uses his step father's last name and doesn't exactly advertise who his father is this is gonna sound a bit hypocritical, but it's not all that bad, growing up um, we'll call it family style. Yeah, it's a hell of a head trip when you figure out exactly what your dad means when he says he's a "businessman" but you adjust and adapt because that's all you can do. And it's your family and these are your people and…you find a way to take the bitter with the sweet. I promise you, Olivia will be fine."

"Blaine, you know that's twisted right? You know that you're defending the indefensible right now, don't you?"

"Maybe," Blaine acknowledged, "But it is what it is, Kurt. I love my father and whether I go by Anderson or Giancarlo, I'm his son. And whether you call her Nicollette or Olivia, that little girl upstairs is Sebastian's daughter. She's always going to be connected to him and as a result, connected to this world. You can't change that. All you can do is trust in yourself and trust in Sebastian that between you both you'll give her everything she needs to become a good person despite growing up in a world where everyone colors a little outside the lines."

"You make it sound so simple," Kurt sniffed.

"I know it's not, but hey, look at me," Blaine said, smiling at his friend. "I didn't turn out so bad, did I?"

Kurt gave a watery laugh. "No, no I guess you didn't," he agreed.

"And neither did Seb. I caught what you said earlier," Blaine said quietly. "You said you love Seb. _Love_ , not loved, present not past tense. I saw what happened on the plane, all of it. Thad wasn't the only one who was jealous, was he?"

Kurt stiffened and pushed himself out of Blaine's arms. "It doesn't matter," he said flatly. "Bas hates me. The only thing he wants is to see me suffer."

"I wouldn't say it's the only thing," Sebastian's voice cut in from the doorway. "It's just currently number one on the list."

"I'm going to bed," Kurt announced. He needed to get out of the room and away from Sebastian as quickly as possible. His talk with Blaine had stripped him bare, left him unguarded and he couldn't allow Sebastian to see him vulnerable, to spot any weaknesses. Kurt knew he had to keep it together in Sebastian's presence or he'd never survive whatever the other man had planned for him.

"Past your bedtime, Sylvester?" Sebastian sneered

"Goodnight Blaine," Kurt said, ignoring Sebastian as he turned to go up the stairs.

"Kurt," Sebastian's voice stopped him just as he reached the first step. "Exactly where did you plan on sleeping?"

Kurt didn't dare turn around. "The guest room," Kurt answered. His hand tightened on the banister because he knew- _he knew_ -what Sebastian was about to say next.

"Ah, ah ah," Sebastian smirked. "You're no guest,  _Sylvester_. You know where the bedroom is. I'll be up later."

Kurt shot Sebastian a look of pure venom but bit back his angry reply and just barely refrained from stomping up the stairs.

"Seb," Blaine said tiredly as soon as he was sure Kurt was gone, "don't."

"Don't what?" Sebastian asked innocently.

"Don't be an ass," Blaine replied rolling his eyes.

"You wound me, Blainers. Kurt gets cuddles and I get called an ass? That just doesn't seem fair," Sebastian remarked as he went to the bar to fix himself a drink.

"Kurt needed cuddles and you apparently need the reminder," Blaine replied, sitting down on the sofa. "Stop deliberately antagonizing him. It's only going to make everything worse."

"Yeah well, thanks to Thad, may he rest in pieces, it can't really get much worse," Sebastian said bitterly.

Blaine chuckled mirthlessly. "We're blaming Thad? Come on, Seb. Who do you think you're talking to? You could have had any of your guys on that plane; you didn't have to bring Thad. You knew damn well he was gonna take pot shots at Kurt; he always has. The only reason you took Thad was because you knew he wouldn't be able to resist letting Kurt know he'd been warming your bed. You wanted to hurt Kurt and you used Thad to do it," he accused Sebastian.

Sebastian dropped into the seat across from Blaine. "So what if I did? So what if I wanted to hurt him a little bit, let him know I hadn't spent the last three years living like a monk? Thad's the one who took it too far."

"Thad always takes it too far," Blaine said, as he ran his hand through his curls. "You knew that too."

"What do you want me to say here, Blaine?" Sebastian growled. "He threatened to kill Kurt. I can't have that, I  _won't_ have that. And I saw you, you were just as pissed as I was so don't sit there and-"

"I'm not saying you were wrong," Blaine broke in, shutting off Sebastian's protests. "I'm just pointing out that you didn't have to do it in front of Kurt, in front of your daughter. You're smarter than this, Seb. You've had Kurt back for a few hours and you've already broken into his home, threatened his family, forced him to walk away from his life, made him an accessory to murder and had your lover killed practically under your daughter's nose." Blaine gave Sebastian a lopsided grin and shook his head. "And I always thought _I_ was bad at romance. Compared to you I'm Cyrano de Bergerac."

"Is there a point to this?" Sebastian scowled.

"The point is you need to decide what you want more. You either want to be with Kurt, or you want to punish him. You can't do both."

"Thank you Dr. Phil," Sebastian said, draining his drink. "Thank you so much for telling me how to run my own life. I'm gonna go upstairs and fuck my husband now unless you wanna join us and tell me how to do that too."

"I could," Blaine returned with a grin, as he stood up and put on his jacket. "It's not like I haven't before."

"Oh fuck you, Bilbo Baggins.".

Blaine laughed. "And on that note I'm heading back to the Shire," he joked. "Seriously though Seb, he still loves you which means that you've got a shot at fixing this. Don't fuck it up." Blaine tossed over his shoulder as he made his way out the door and Sebastian made his way up the stairs.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undeniable passions explode and unexpected truths are told.

The door to bedroom opened and Kurt fought to keep his face relaxed and his breathing even. He hoped he could feign sleep convincingly enough that Sebastian would leave him in peace for the night.

"Seriously Kurt? We both know you're not asleep this early."

"Sorry I'm not my usual sparkly self but between the abduction and the jet lag I'm exhausted and I'm going to sleep," Kurt retorted without opening his eyes or turning around.

"And what about me?" Sebastian asked as he stripped out of his suit.

"You can go to hell for all I care."

"I'll be dragging you there with me baby," Sebastian said as he slid into bed next to Kurt.

Kurt scooted as close to the edge of his side of the bed as he could without falling off and jerked the covers up over his body and tucked them tightly around him. "I'm  _tired_ , Sebastian. Leave me alone and let me sleep."

Sebastian's arm shot out, wrapped around his waist and dragged Kurt back across the mattress and trapped him there, Kurt's back pressed tightly against Sebastian's chest. "We've been over this, Kurt. I'll never leave you alone."

Kurt refused to respond and just squeezed his eyes shut, determined to ignore both Sebastian and the effect that being back in their bed with Sebastian wrapped around him was having on him.

Sebastian's fingertips dipped underneath his tank top and Kurt slapped at the offending hand. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. Don't touch me."

"You're not tired, Kurt. You're just being a contrary bitch. I get it, you're pissed about Thad but-"

"I don't want to talk about Thad or anyone else you've been screwing since I've been gone, Bas. I don't care. I don't care what you've done or who you've done it with. I don't care about you. I don't want to be here and I don't want you," Kurt snapped.

"You know, I could never figure out how such a gifted actor could be such a shit liar," Sebastian said, slipping a hand up under Kurt's tank top and caressing his abdomen. "You always want me, Kurt. It's one of the reasons we work baby, because you always want me and I can never get enough of you."

Sebastian's teeth nipped sharply at Kurt's neck, and he sucked at the sensitive skin there, worrying it until a bruise appeared. Despite the fact Kurt remained impassive in his arms, Sebastian heard Kurt utter a small moan and he grinned in triumph. He quickly flipped Kurt over onto his back and straddled him; his knees pressed into Kurt's hips and he placed his hands on Kurt's shoulders so he could press him down into the mattress. "You keep saying you don't want me," he whispered, "but I own you, Kurt. I'm in your head. I'm in your heart. I'm in your blood, baby. You can try to deny it all you want, run from it even but I'll never let you go too far. I'll always be right behind you, reminding you, bringing you back where you belong. You're mine. Are you really going to deny me, deny yourself, what we both want right now?"

Kurt gasped as Sebastian forced him down into the pillows. "You don't own me. I'm not on your payroll or in your pocket," Kurt declared. "I'm not one of your whores either. If you want to get your rocks off I suggest you go elsewhere or take matters into your own hands because I'm not interested in being your live action blow up doll."

Sebastian was frustrated, aroused and had no desire to accommodate Kurt's independent streak. When he'd emerged from his conversation with the pilot to hear Thad describing in excruciating detail how he was going to kill Kurt, he'd been assaulted by the intensity of his emotions, the idea that Thad, that anyone, would dare to threaten his family had filled him with blind rage and the idea that Kurt could be taken from him so soon after he'd just found him again had filled him with fear. His only thought had been to eliminate the threat and keep Kurt safe. In hindsight he realized that he should have kept his cool and handled things with Thad once they'd landed, that it had been careless of him to reinforce Kurt's fears and allow such an ugly facet of his business to come so close to their child but what was done was done and Sebastian wasn't going to waste any time dwelling on that which he could not change.

Sebastian had ached for Kurt and he'd tried to chase away the longing and the emptiness in the arms of short term lovers and high priced escorts but it had never quite been enough. He'd wanted Kurt, nearly crawled out of his skin with how badly he needed him. The entire time Kurt had been gone, Sebastian had teetered on the edge between misery and madness and now that he had his husband back he was in no mood to be told no. Their loss of control earlier in Kurt's living room had done nothing but whet Sebastian's appetite and further fan the flames of his desire.

Sebastian surged down and crushed his mouth against Kurt's in a desperate, claiming kiss. He shifted and settled his weight on top of Kurt and then moved his hands so that they gripped Kurt's hips. He dug his nails in slightly, an act that elicited a sharp hiss of pleasure from Kurt's lips, and then moved one of his hands around to the small of Kurt's back, bringing their bodies even closer together as they kissed.

Kurt had known when Sebastian forbade him from sleeping in the guest room that they'd end up like this. Part of Kurt was disgusted that despite his earlier protests he was offering no resistance and had in fact, responded to Sebastian's touch with eager abandon. As Sebastian kissed him and pressed him down into the pillows and mattress beneath him, Kurt arched up, wrapped his arms around Sebastian and kissed him back.

Sebastian groaned, tore his mouth away from Kurt's and stared down at him. Kurt's skin was flushed, his pupils were blown wide, his hair was tousled from being in bed and his lips were dark and swollen. "Look at you," he whispered. "You look wrecked already and I've barely touched you." A dark look crossed over Sebastian's face and he reached out and tangled his fingers in Kurt's hair. "Has anyone else touched you? Have you let anyone else have you? Answer me, Kurt."

"Does it matter?" Kurt asked, knowing that he was playing with fire. "It's not like you've been saving yourself waiting for me-ah!"

The very idea of that Kurt might have allowed someone else to touch him was enough to snap Sebastian's tenuous hold on his self control. Whatever else Kurt might have said was lost, swallowed up as Sebastian swooped down and slanted his mouth across Kurt's and took what was rightfully his. His cock swelled and began to harden as he shifted his hips forward and ground against Kurt.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're mine?" Sebastian grit out, pinning Kurt to the mattress in a hold guaranteed to leave bruises. "Every inch of you, every piece of you, belongs to me and me alone." Sebastian changed his hold, transferring both of Kurt's wrists into one of his hands so that he could hands tangle the other in the silken strands of Kurt's hair and cradle the back of his head. The surprising gentle touch was in stark contrast to the brutality of Sebastian's kiss and the iron grip he still held on Kurt's wrists.

Kurt whined when Sebastian bit on his lower lip and mix of pleasure and pain sent currents of arousal through his body, straight to his rapidly hardening cock. His mind shut down and his body took over, yanking his wrists free of Sebastian's grip and smoothing them down Sebastian's back, his fingers mapping the dips and valleys of the muscles found there. He reveled in the feel of Sebastian's skin, hot and smooth underneath his touch and wrapped a leg up over Sebastian's hip, shamelessly seeking friction.

Sebastian immediately repositioned himself so that he could settle in between Kurt's legs. He moaned appreciatively when their erections rubbed against each other through the thin fabric of Kurt's pajama's and his boxer briefs. "You feel so fucking good," he murmured, his voice roughened by lust. His hips moved of their own accord, pulling a series of whimpers and moans from Kurt. Sebastian fisted the hem of Kurt's shirt and yanked the material up and over Kurt's head in one rushed movement. "I want to feel you, it's been too long since I felt you," he groaned.

Kurt felt as if his body had been set aflame, his every nerve ending exposed and tingling when he came into skin to skin contact with Sebastian. Sebastian's words caused Kurt's heart to leap but he quickly shut down the emotion, clamping down on the urge to reciprocate and choosing instead to bite sharply into Sebastian's shoulder.

Sebastian hissed at the small flare of pain and quickly moved to reclaim Kurt's lips. He took his time and lazily explored Kurt's mouth, turning it into his private playground, getting lost in Kurt's taste.

Sebastian reached down, and stripped off his boxer briefs and Kurt's pajama pants, ripping the delicate silk of the fabric and tossing it aside. He licked a stripe up his palm before his hand found Kurt's erection and wrapped cool fingers around it, causing Kurt to squeeze his eyes shut and his mouth to fall open in a soundless scream of pleasure.

"Look at me," Sebastian ordered, his hand stilled, fingers twitching with the promise of wicked pleasure. "You're so hard right now, so desperate, and all for me. Say it," he demanded. "Tell me this is all for me."

Kurt's pride went to war with his body and his heart. He opened his mouth to deny the truth, to deny Sebastian but the intent must have been evident in the stubborn set of his jaw or the fire that blazed in his eyes because before he could speak Sebastian's hand began to move.

"You want this," Sebastian said as he squeezed Kurt's cock and worked his hand over Kurt's length. "You can have it baby, all you have to do is beg."

"F-fuck you," Kurt panted, even as his body arched into Sebastian's touch.

"Maybe in the morning," Sebastian drawled, "but right now your ass is the one on the line."

"No it isn't. S-s-stop touching me you ass," Kurt protested weakly.

"You don't want me to stop," Sebastian purred as he swept his thumb over the pre-come that had gathered at the blunt mushroom head of Kurt's cock. "You want me to give you more," Sebastian said as he leaned over Kurt's body and fumbled around in the nightstand for a few moments before coming back up with a bottle of lube. "You want me to give you everything."

"I want you to get off of me," Kurt said, and even to his own ears the denial rang hollow.

"You mean you want me to get you off," Sebastian corrected, tossing the lube onto the bed by Kurt's head. "You want me to fuck you, take what's mine and remind you who you belong to. You want me to write my name across your skin in bite marks and bruises; open you up and with my fingers and push deep into you until you forget everything but how to scream my name."

Kurt whimpered at the vivid picture the words painted and Sebastian smirked in response. He trailed his hand down to cup Kurt's balls, rolling and fondling the swollen globes before brushing a barely there touch over Kurt's hole. The action caused Kurt to keen and his hips to involuntarily shift forward, trying to deepen the touch.

"Look at you," Sebastian breathed. "So eager and hot for me. Beg for it, Kurt. Beg for it and I'll give you everything."

Kurt summoned every bit of willpower he had left and shook his head. "Not begging you," he groaned and then bit back a curse when Sebastian suddenly bent forward and licked a sinful stripe from his cock to his navel. Kurt cried out at the unexpected pleasure and his hands fisted the sheets.

Sebastian stalked up Kurt's body, his slight stubble scraping against Kurt's sensitive skin as he bit and sucked a trail of possessive red marks into the creamy flesh. He slicked his fingers with the lube and circled one digit teasingly around Kurt's tightly puckered hole.

"Bas," Kurt groaned as he tried in vain to press down onto Sebastian's finger.

" _Beg me_ ," Sebastian whispered then took his teeth and teased one of Kurt's nipples into a hardened peak, then using his tongue to soothe the ache, licking over the abused nub in broad, flat strokes

"Oh God," Kurt moaned as he threw his head back and his hands came up off the sheets and tangled in Sebastian's hair. "Bas, baby, it's so good," he praised.

Sebastian smiled against Kurt's skin and then repeated the action on Kurt's other nipple. As Kurt struggled not to drown in the sensations Sebastian slowly pressed one of his fingers into Kurt, watching as it disappeared into the tight heat.

Sebastian moved until he hovered over Kurt, their lips almost touched and they shared the same air. "I'm the only one, Kurt," he said lowly into their shared space. "I'm the only one who can make you feel like this, want like this. I'm the only one who can give you what you really need. All you have to do is beg for it."

As Sebastian fingered him, Kurt clung stubbornly to his pride and bit down on his lip to keep the words Sebastian wanted to hear locked inside him.

When Kurt didn't give in, Sebastian swore and added a second finger. Kurt moaned and rocked his hips, and Sebastian stroked in and out, then bent forward and sucked a vicious pattern of bruises onto both of Kurt's hipbones.

Kurt moaned and nearly arched completely off of the bed, his back bent into an almost perfect bow as he writhed against the mattress. Sebastian smiled and stroked a few more times before completely removing his fingers, leaving Kurt empty, aching and wanting so badly that it threatened to drive him insane.

"More, Bas don't stop," Kurt whined, legs falling open even wider, as if he were offering himself as some sort obscene sacrifice.

"Beg for it," Sebastian demanded, his gaze hot, hard and hungry as he drank in the sight Kurt writhing and moaning underneath him.

Kurt closed as his eyes as he admitted defeat. "Please, Bas," he whispered quietly.

"You look at me," Sebastian ordered. "You look at me and tell me I'm the only one."

Kurt opened his eyes and stared up at his husband. Sebastian's green eyes were stark with hunger and need, his hard cock stood proud and erect, curved towards his stomach and his body was all lean lines, defined muscle and controlled danger.

Kurt had known he was fighting a losing battle from the moment Sebastian had entered the bedroom. He surged up and kissed Sebastian's lips in a kiss that's far from gentle, all tongue and teeth, filled with need, a bit of anger and his complete surrender.

"Only you, Bas," Kurt whispered when he pulled back for air. He ran a finger softly over Sebastian's kiss swollen lips and placed another, softer kiss onto them. "It's only ever been you."

Sebastian nodded once, and then hooked his hands underneath Kurt's thighs, forcing him back onto his back and pushing his legs up and apart. "You belong with me," he whispered as scratched his nails along the delicate skin of Kurt's inner thighs. "You belong to me," he murmured, scooping his hands under Kurt's ass and hauling him closer to him. "And I'm going to make sure you never forget it again," he swore he shifted down to press a filthy kiss to the wet tip of Kurt's hardened length. Before Kurt could fully comprehend Sebastian's intentions, he felt his cock engulfed by his husband's warm, wet mouth.

Kurt let loose a loud moan at the first contact of Sebastian's lips and his fingers immediately found their way into Sebastian's hair, tightening and tugging on the silken strands as Sebastian drew Kurt deeply into the back of his throat. Kurt's head fell back onto the pillow as Sebastian hollowed out and his cheeks and sucked. " _Bas, please, yes, more, more please oh God, Bas don't stop_ ," Kurt babbled out as pleasure he hadn't had in three years overtook him. Sebastian took advantage of Kurt's incoherent state and massaged Kurt's balls with one hand and sunk the index finger of the other into Kurt's ass. Kurt hips jerked in response and Sebastian's tongue swirled and traced the vein that ran along the underside of Kurt's cock.

"Oh God, Bas yes," Kurt groaned as he rolled his hips in earnest, pushing himself deeper into Sebastian's throat. Kurt's legs shook and he felt the tell tale tingling built and spread up his spine and in his gut as Sebastian lapped his tongue over the sensitive head, licking at the weeping slit.

Kurt felt himself on the edge of an orgasm but just before he could tip over, Sebastian's mouth was suddenly gone and he found himself thrusting into empty air.

"No," he whined brokenly, trying to force Sebastian's head back onto his dick. "Why are you stopping?"

"Because when you come it's gonna be from my cock," Sebastian said, his voice roughened from the blowjob he'd just given Kurt.

"Then what the fuck are you waiting for," Kurt groans out, hooking a leg around Sebastian's waist and trying to drag him forward.

"Desperate baby?" Sebastian teased, as he grabbed the lube and slicked up his length. "So eager, so impatient, you've always been a bossy bottom."

Kurt bristled at Sebastian's mocking tone and even as he opened his mouth to say the words he knew it was a stupid, borderline suicidal, thing to do.

"Chandler never seemed to mind."

The world stopped, stood still and then exploded.

"You faithless whore!" Sebastian snarled as he grabbed Kurt's hair and yanked, forcing Kurt to meet his gaze.

"You fucked him, Kurt? You give him what's mine? I will end the both you, I swear to fucking God, I will end the both of you," Sebastian barked.

"Why shouldn't I have fucked him?" Kurt yelled back as he tried to free himself from Sebastian's grip. "You've been fucking Thad and I don't even know who else and-"

"The hell with this," Sebastian muttered before shoving Kurt onto his back, and forcing his knees up against his chest.

Kurt panicked a little, knowing that he hadn't had sex in three years and that Sebastian was going to be anything but gentle but at the same the thought of being taken roughly by Sebastian thrilled him. He needed a moment to get his thoughts together. "Bas, wait-"

"Did you ask Chandler to wait," Sebastian asked cruelly. "I bet you didn't. I bet he played the part of the gentlemen for you. What'd he do, huh? What did he do to get you to spread your legs? Take you to the ballet? Take  _my kid_  out for ice cream? Give you a bouquet of your favorite flowers?"

"Bas-"

"That's not what you need, you know," Sebastian said as he moved forward, putting the tip of his cock at the entrance to Kurt's hole. "You want romance. Candy, flowers, compliments. But at the end of the day, when the lights go out? You need a man who'll open you up, hold you down and make you take it. A guy like Chandler, one you can lead around by his balls, could never satisfy you. Not like you need. Not like I do."

Kurt felt his body flush and then, to his embarrassment, despite the vulgarity of the words, his cock gave an interested twitch.

Sebastian chuckled, low and dirty. "You like that don't you? You want me to fuck you into this mattress, make you scream, make you beg, push into you over and over again until you fall apart? I can do that baby," Sebastian said, almost sweetly. "I will do that," he promised darkly, "and when I'm done, you'll never think about giving away what's mine ever again."

"God yes," Kurt moaned. "Just please, please Bas. I want you, I always want you."

"You've always had me," Sebastian said, an odd note of gentleness in his voice, and as he pushed himself forward the tip of his cock was immediately surrounded by tight, wet heat. "Jesus, baby," Sebastian gasped before he slammed home in one hot, hard thrust.

Kurt screamed, high pitched and desperate, and his body instantly tensed up at the intrusion. Immediately Sebastian stilled, fully seated, and waited for Kurt to adjust. "You can take it baby," he soothed, burying his head in the crook of Kurt's shoulder. "Be a good boy and take it for me," he whispered before he began to plunge and in and out of Kurt's body, setting a furious pace that had the bed shaking beneath them and the headboard hitting the wall behind them.

" _Bas, ah, ah, ah, oh more, more, I need, I need-_ ," Kurt babbled brokenly.

"I'll give you everything you need," Sebastian swore as he thrust. Sebastian felt as if every nerve ending was raw and exposed, and he poured every ounce of loss and longing he'd felt for the past three years into his movements.  He wasn't wearing a condom and he felt every slide and drag of every stroke, skin on skin with nothing in between him and the man he loved and feared he'd lost. He placed Kurt's legs around his waist and snapped his hips in and out of Kurt, driving into him like a man possessed.

Kurt couldn't believe how full he felt, and despite a small amount of discomfort he wanted more, felt as if he couldn't get enough. He was powerless to stop the broken moans and whimpers that Sebastian dragged out of him. Kurt wrapped his legs tighter around Sebastian's waist and dug his heels into Sebastian's ass, urging him to go deeper. He looked up and saw Sebastian looming over him; his hair damp and loose, skin slick with sweat, powerful muscles rippling beneath taut skin and the sight took his breath away.

"Take it, fuck just like, just like that baby," Sebastian moaned as he draped his body over Kurt's and did his level best to pound him straight through the mattress. "You're mine, Kurt" he reminded his husband, digging his fingers into Kurt's hips. "You're mine. Say it, Kurt. Say you know you're mine," he demanded as he brushed the bundle of nerves that held the key to Kurt's release.

Kurt bit his lip and met Sebastian thrust for thrust as Sebastian brushed over his prostrate again and again. "I'm yours, only yours, always yours, Bas," Kurt gasped out.

"Always mine," Sebastian replied as he took up a faster rhythm, groaning when Kurt's muscles clenched around the cock inside him. He changed the angle of his thrusts and Kurt wailed in response. "That's it, baby. Scream for me. I want everyone to hear you. I want everyone to know," Sebastian growled as he slammed into Kurt again and again.

Kurt raked his nails down Sebastian's back as he bucked and moaned. He felt sparks of pleasure and pain shoot through him until he was frantic with the need to come. "Bas, Bas, please I can't-it's been so long and God fuck, I'm yours and I'll do anything just please, Bas,  _please_ ," Kurt knew that he was begging, that he'd completely given in to Sebastian but he couldn't bring himself to care when his entire world had narrowed its focus to the man that was above, around and inside him. All he could feel, taste and think about was Sebastian and Kurt simply didn't care what it cost him in the cold light of day, at that moment all he could do was beg for release and admit to Sebastian that he was right. Kurt was his; Kurt had always been his and would always be his.

Sebastian heard the cry and recognized both the need and surrender in his husband's voice and took mercy. He felt his balls tighten up, wrapped a hand around Kurt's cock and jerked him off with rough, hard strokes. "Let me see it, baby. Come for me, show me who does this to you, show me who you belong to."

"Just you, Bas. Only you, only you,  _oh God, Bas_!" Kurt's orgasm ripped through him and he felt as if he'd fragmented into tiny pieces, as if the entire world had dissolved and the only solid left to hang onto was Sebastian. He screamed out his husband's name and edges of his vision blurred and turned white as he climaxed, hot and hard, at Sebastian's command, spilling up messily between the two of them.

Sebastian grunted as Kurt's orgasm caused his muscles to clench tighter around his cock. He thrust deeper and harder, devouring Kurt, biting and sucking on every inch of skin he could reach before the sight of Kurt falling apart underneath him and the sound of name reverberating off the bedroom walls as Kurt broke and admitted he belonged to him pushed Sebastian over the edge and he exploded, pumping his seed deep into Kurt's body. He stifled his shout by biting down on Kurt's shoulder, leaving one last mark of possession on the pale beauty as they rode out their orgasms.

They collapsed into an exhausted heap, boneless and sated. Eventually Sebastian rolled off of Kurt's body and onto his back. He swiped half heartedly at the mess between them with the corner of the sheet before giving up and just pulling Kurt closer to him as they returned from the edge of oblivion.

"Bas-"

"Just go to sleep, Kurt. We'll talk about it in the morning," Sebastian whispered as he carded a hand through Kurt's sweaty locks.

Kurt curled his body around Sebastian's and allowed himself to fall into a well deserved slumber. He wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking or his imagination but as he danced between wakefulness and sleep he thought he heard Sebastian whisper I love you. Sleepy and vulnerable, too fatigued and well fucked to keep up his defenses, Kurt snuggled closer to Sebastian, wrapped himself around his husband and whispered back, "I love you, too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before doesn't go the way anyone expected.

Kurt woke up for the first time in three years feeling warm, comfortable and safe. He reached out, his subconscious instinctively seeking Sebastian but his searching fingers found nothing but long cooled sheets. The bubble of warmth he'd been cocooned in suddenly burst and he snapped his eyes open.

Kurt blinked the sleep out of his eyes and felt a current of disappointment charge through him at the realization that the bed was empty. He ruthlessly repressed the emotion, reminding himself that he wasn't Sebastian's husband; he was his hostage and it was foolish of him to hope that the previous evening had been anything other than meaningless sex and Sebastian's twisted form of punishment. He'd obviously imagined Sebastian's vulnerability and declaration of love the night before; it certainly wouldn't be the first time Kurt had let his inner romantic overrule his common sense. Hot tears stung his eyes when he had to admit to himself that he'd been looking forward to waking up in Sebastian's arms and them having the conversation that Sebastian had put off the night before.

Pushing aside his pangs of sadness, Kurt took in his surroundings. He hadn't taken the time to look around the bedroom last night, he'd been too anxious to get into bed and attempt to feign sleep in an attempt to ward off Sebastian. In the in the cold light of day however he couldn't help but notice that it too, like the rest of the penthouse, had gone virtually unchanged during his absence. The only discernible difference was that in addition to Kurt and Sebastian's wedding photo there was a small, framed photograph of Olivia on Sebastian's bedside table.

Kurt lovingly traced the photograph of his daughter before he placed it back on the nightstand. He threw the covers back, grimacing a bit at the mess he and Sebastian had made the night before and caught sight of a small, purple box with a with a note attached to the lid that had gotten tangled in the comforter.

Trepidation and anticipation built in equal measure as Kurt instantly realized that the box and the note were from Sebastian. After a few seconds of staring at the box Kurt convinced himself that he could handle whatever his husband chose to throw at him, gathered his courage and grabbed the box.

"Well at least it's not ticking," he mumbled before he removed the lid. Kurt's eyes misted over and he stared at the contents for a moment before shakily removing the note from the lid.

I know I said we'd talk and we will. In the meantime I thought you'd like to have this back. I took the liberty of placing Olivia's picture inside. Speaking of our daughter, she's an early riser. I convinced her to let you sleep in and go out for pancakes with her Papa. Speaking of pancakes, why is my daughter fixated on IHOP? I'm disappointed in you, Kurt. I'm taking her to Bubby's and hoping she's young enough to forget the horrors of inferior chain restaurants and the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity. We'll be back soon.  
Bas

Kurt's emotions went to war with one another. Part of him wanted to leap from the bed, go hunt down Sebastian and Olivia and make sure that his daughter was safe, that she hadn't been caught in the crossfire of some shootout, taken for ransom or allowed to drown her pancakes in syrup, run amuck and terrorize the unsuspecting waitstaff.

The rest of him was too busy clutching his mother's locket and being grateful that Sebastian had been gracious enough to hang onto the jewelry and eventually return it to him. The locket been passed down in his mother's family for generations and when she passed away with him as her only child, he had inherited it. When Olivia had been born he'd made plans to pass it on to her, along with stories of her grandmother. He hadn't been able to take it with him when he'd left because the clasp had been being repaired. It had broken his heart to leave something so important of his mother's behind, especially since it was one of the few tangible items of hers that remained. He'd given the piece up as lost and to have it back was more than he'd ever dared hope for. Knowing that Sebastian had held onto the small keepsake instead of returning it to Burt or even destroying it out of spite made a small ember of hope flare up inside of Kurt that he quickly snuffed out.

Kurt ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. He had to keep his head. He couldn't allow one night of passion and one kind gesture to make him forget who he was dealing with. Sebastian was still the man who'd stalked him, threatened his friends and family and then basically kidnapped him and his daughter. Kurt had let his emotions blind him to how ruthless and dangerous Sebastian could be once before; with Olivia in the picture he couldn't afford to do it again. He had to keep his guard up where Sebastian was concerned.

Kurt rose from the bed and winced. He was sore, aching and the jetted tub in the master bath was calling his name. Hopefully after a long soak and a healthy breakfast he'd be better prepared to face the day and whatever Sebastian had planned for him.

* * *

  
A few hours later every one of Kurt's nerves was standing on end and he had worked his way through one nightmarish scenario after another as the day had dragged on and Sebastian hadn't brought Olivia home or at least called to check in.

If he were being completely honest Kurt would have been forced to admit that he was also worried about Sebastian. While he'd managed to be both engaging and endearing to their daughter in their previous interactions, Kurt knew that being good with children, particularly small ones, had never been part of Sebastian's bag of tricks. He tended to treat them like miniature adults and found himself shocked and appalled when they acted like children instead. He was worried that his husband had overestimated his connection with the little girl and underestimated the difficulties in taking a child out to eat-particularly one as picky and vocal as Olivia. Sebastian wouldn't know that Olivia demanded her orange juice be pulp free or that she would literally scream bloody murder if an egg went anywhere near her plate or that she would insist she didn't need to go to the restroom when she really did. Kurt was worried that it was far too soon for the two of them to go out alone and the outing would end in tears for Olivia and frustration for Sebastian.

As much as he loathed to admit it, Kurt was also worried that nothing would go wrong and Sebastian would prove to be every bit as good a father as Kurt had insisted he would be when he'd pushed for them to have a child. He was worried that Sebastian and Olivia would grow closer and closer and he'd have to share the space in his daughter's heart that up until then had been his and his alone. Kurt knew it was selfish and wrong but he had been Olivia's only parental figure for so long that the thought of sharing that responsibility with or worse-being replaced by-Sebastian stirred a bevy of conflicting emotions in him. He wanted Sebastian to have a place in Olivia's heart…just not his place.

A traitorous voice whispered that as valid as all those feeling and concerns were, they weren't the reason he was two seconds from throwing a fit that would put the combined powers of Rachel Berry and Naomi Campbell to shame. Locked up tight in his most secret of places was the acknowledgment that Kurt's heart had been injured. He'd opened himself up to Sebastian and now he felt used and discarded. It killed him to admit it, but Kurt was upset that after the night they'd had Sebastian had been gone for most of the day and hadn't called to check on him.

Even though he'd become extremely adventurous over the years at his core Kurt was still a romantic who viewed sex as an expression of love and trust. He'd learned to appreciate lust and the instant gratification that indulging his baser instincts and exploring his kinks could bring but he needed the emotional safety of knowing that he was cared for and he could trust his partner in order for those things to happen. He wondered how much of that was related to his control issues and how much of that could be lain at the feet of his father's infamous "you matter" speech and how deeply Kurt had taken that to heart. He knew that his insistence on being in love was the reason he'd only ever been intimate with Blaine and Sebastian and had never gone to bed with Chandler. Despite their closeness, Chandler's willingness, and his own loneliness Kurt had been aware that he was still in love with Sebastian and because of that he'd never been able to bring himself to start a physical relationship with the bubbly blonde.

He knew Sebastian didn't view things the same way. They'd known each other long enough that Kurt understood Sebastian had never had a problem separating sex and love but in their relationship the two had always gone hand in hand. No matter how rough they'd gotten or what kinks they'd explored Kurt had always known that he was loved, cherished even. Part of him was convinced that hadn't changed, that under Sebastian's hurt, anger and desire to punish him that last night he hadn't imagined the vulnerability in his husband's voice, the gentle way he'd held him afterwards or the honesty in their exchanged declarations of love but if that were the truth he had no idea what to do with it. He knew that no matter how much Sebastian might love him, he was also furious and an angry Sebastian had always equaled a vengeful Sebastian. Kurt had no idea if Sebastian loved him enough to let go of his anger and or if he loved Sebastian enough to let go of his fear. The two of them were at an impasse and he had no clue how to proceed.

Kurt realized he was going around in circles and for the sake of his sanity he decided to concentrate solely on the fact that he was worried about his daughter. Everything else, including his conflicting feelings about his husband, had to be secondary to Olivia's happiness and well being.

As the minutes ticked by without a word Kurt grew more and more agitated. The rational side of Kurt's brain told him that Sebastian was merely spending the day with his daughter. That he was enjoying their time together and he was taking the opportunity to bond with the little girl and they'd be home soon.

The irrational side of Kurt's brain was…well irrational. He imagined that Sebastian had spirited her off to one of his other properties and that Kurt would never see her again. He imagined that one of Sebastian's enemies had spotted them, figured out who Olivia was and taken her. He imagined that they had been in an accident and they were unconscious and bleeding in a tangled mesh of smoking metal. Fleetingly he wondered if this were some type of calculated payback on Sebastian's part; to make him worry and wait the way he had forced Sebastian to worry and wait.

Kurt had tried calling Blaine but the call had gone straight to voicemail. He'd known better than to try to call Sebastian; the other man utilized a variety of "burn" phones and only kept them for a short time before moving on to the next one. Whatever number he'd had three years ago would have been long discarded by now.

As much as he wanted to, Kurt knew trying to question any of Sebastian's men would be a thankless endeavor. They were all varying degrees of angry with him and between that anger, their loyalty to and fear of Sebastian he knew he'd get nowhere fast.

Just as he was seriously considering leaving the penthouse and trying to track them down himself the door burst open.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy where are you?" Olivia's voice rang out throughout the penthouse, the _slap slap slap_  of her little feet running echoing across the floor.

"Here I am Lady Bug," Kurt said as he opened his arms. Olivia dropped the packages she'd been carrying and launched herself at Kurt who scooped her up and hugged her tightly. He breathed in the scent of her hair and gave a silent prayer of thanks that she had returned safe and sound.

"Daddy! Papa took me to have pancakes and let me have almost the whole thing of syrup! My pancakes were the best. They had so much butter and bananas and blueberries and then Papa let me have real coffee with lotsa whip cream and chocolate," Olivia babbled before stopping abruptly. "but I wasn't apposed ta tell you about the coffee. Sorry Papa," she said giving Sebastian an apologetic look.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at Sebastian who didn't even have the grace to be embarrassed. "She's not old enough to drink coffee, Sebastian."

"It was more whipped cream and warm milk than it was coffee," Sebastian said with a smile. "She loved it. And she definitely got your appetite; she ate more pancakes than I did."

"You loaded her up on junk," Kurt accused.

"She's a kid, Kurt. A little junk food every once in awhile won't kill her."

"No, but being out in public with you just might!"

Sebastian's eyes glinted dangerously but before he could reply Olivia began talking again. "Guess what daddy? Papa kept his promise. He brought me so many toys, even the Princess castle and mini car you said costed too much." Kurt glared at Sebastian as he noticed Jeff and Rory carrying armloads of packages up to Olivia's room and Wes following behind with the box to a Power Wheels pink convertible.

"It was my pleasure, Princess," Sebastian said, winking at Olivia and then fixing a glare on Kurt. "You shouldn't have to go without. There's no reason why you shouldn't have  _everything_  your little heart desires."

Kurt flushed with guilt and humiliation. They hadn't exactly struggled but his teacher's salary hadn't been enough to spoil Olivia the way he'd often wanted to. Olivia hadn't lacked for anything and truthfully she'd had more than she needed but there had been times where things were simply too expensive or Kurt had to put them off until he could save for them, a problem that Sebastian would never encounter.

"That was very nice of Papa," Kurt said with forced cheer. "Did you thank him?"

"Uh huh," Olivia replied nodding. "I thanked him lots. Especially for my pony!"

"Pony?" Kurt asked quietly, shooting Sebastian a murderous look.

"Mmm hmm. She's brown with white feet and a white nose and her name is Emman…Emmen..Papa tell her daddy her name," Olivia demanded giving up on the pronunciation and turning to Sebastian.

"Emmanuelle," Sebastian supplied.

Olivia screwed her face up and shook her head. "Her name's Emmy," she announced before squirming out of Kurt's arms. "I like that better. Papa's going to take me shopping for riding clothes. You hafta come too because Papa can't dress me right. He tried to put my sparkly purple bow in my hair and Daddy, you  _know_  I can't wear a purple bow with this dress."

Kurt gave Sebastian a small look of triumph. "I'd love to go shopping with you and Papa," he replied. "You left a mess over there, little one. Go pick up your toys, take them up to your room and put them away. I need to talk to Papa for a few minutes."

"No," Olivia said crossing her arms. "I don't like cleaning up. Papa says I'm a Princess and Princess's don't clean up. Tell one of the minstins to do it."

"Olivia Elizabeth Hudson! No one else is going to clean up the mess  _you_  made. Now pick up those toys this instant and go put them away," Kurt ordered.

A dark look crossed Olivia's face and Kurt raised his eyes to see Sebastian mirroring the expression. "Jeff can-," Sebastian began, motioning the blonde forward.

"No, Jeff  _cannot,_ " Kurt cut him off the venom in his voice stopping Jeff in his tracks. "She is perfectly capable of putting her own toys away.  _Now_  Olivia."

Olivia pouted but turned around and picked up the discarded packages and made her way to her room, followed discreetly by Jeff.

"Was that really necess-"

"Don't ever contradict me in front of her again," Kurt interrupted. "I won't have my daughter turned into a spoiled brat because you're over compensating."

"Your daughter?" Sebastian asked lowly. "Here I was thinking she was  _our_ daughter, but if that's the way you want to play it's fine with me since last I checked it was my blood pumping through her veins."

Kurt swallowed thickly. He had never cared that he wasn't Olivia's biological father but he knew that fact, coupled with his essentially kidnapping her, put him in an extremely precarious position if he ever tried to explore his legal options.

"Be that as it may, I won't have you spoiling her and turning her into a brat."

"Considering she's spent the last three years in abject poverty-"

"Don't you dare imply that I didn't take proper care of my child-"

"Our child,  _Sylvester_  and don't you forget it. There's no reason- _none-_ that she shouldn't have had anything and everything she wanted and she would have if you hadn't been such a selfish coward and-"

"Olivia never went without. I made sure she had everything she needed and most of what she wanted. She went to art, voice and dance classes-"

"At a low rent community center taught by a bunch of people who aren't qualified to teach a dog to go fetch-"

"I forgot how much of a snob you could be," Kurt muttered. "I'm not going to have this argument with you."

"Then why did you start it?" Sebastian snapped.

"I didn't," Kurt denied.

"The hell you didn't," Sebastian countered. "From the moment we got home you've been spoiling for a fight and I want to know why."

"I woke up alone and-," Kurt answered before snapping his mouth shut. "I was worried. You could have called," he amended stiffly.

Sebastian gave his husband a long look before sighing softly. "Come here," he said motioning towards Kurt.

"I don't want-"

"Kurt," Sebastian said impatiently. "Don't fight me on this. Just come here."

Kurt took a deep breath and walked across the room to where Sebastian stood. "Yes Master?"

Sebastian huffed a small laugh. "Now you'd offended if I said good boy right now so I'm gonna let that slide," he smirked. "Come  _here_ ," he said again as he tugged Kurt into his arms. "I did, you know."

"You did what?" Kurt mumbled as he subtly tried to shift closer to Sebastian so that he could soak up the warmth of his body and inhale the scent of his skin mingling with his cologne.

"Call," Sebastian replied. "You were still asleep the first time and the second time Shane said you wearing a groove in the carpet but other than that you were fine."

"Oh," Kurt murmured. "I um…I didn't know you called. You still could have let me know where you were," he said nervously picking at the front pocket of Sebastian's shirt.

"I left a note."

"Saying you were taking her for pancakes. It's been hours," Kurt reminded him.

"I'm not going to apologize for spending time with my daughter," Sebastian began.

"I was worried Sebastian! I'm not asking for an apology, although you really do owe me one, that's not-"

"But in the future I will do a better job of communicating with you," Sebastian finished over Kurt's interruption.

"Oh," Kurt said, taken aback at Sebastian's cooperative attitude. "In that case care to explain to me how you left for pancakes and came back with a horse?"

"Our daughter is an emotional terrorist," Sebastian replied, pulling Kurt over to the sofa. "I took her to Bubby's and ordered her the Griddle Special-"

"That has eggs. Olivia is not a fan of eggs."

"I found that out when she started screaming," Sebastian remarked wryly. "Everyone in the place was giving me these dirty looks-"

"Much like the ones you used to give people who couldn't, and I quote,  _control their brats in public_ ," Kurt mimicked with a smirk.

"Shut up," Sebastian grumbled. "Anyway, after I figured out why she was screaming about baby chicks-"

"The kindergarten class hatched baby chicks a couple of months ago," Kurt explained. "Olivia used to visit the eggs whenever she would come by the school and one day she came and the chicks had hatched. The teacher explained the chicks came from the eggs and well...now Olivia is pretty convinced every egg has a baby chick in it."

"Uh huh," Sebastian said, leveling a look at Kurt that clearly said she  _gets that from you._ "Anyway, after I had them take her plate away and ordered the pancakes-"

"Speaking of, there is nothing wrong with IHOP. You're just an elitist snob."

"Keep telling yourself that. Anyway, she loved the pancakes. Then, when we were getting ready to leave she asked me if I was going to keep my promise."

"Ah, she waylaid you," Kurt said with a smile. "She's really quite good at that."

"I figured there was no harm in a few toys-,"

"That was your first mistake," Kurt said sagely. "Never take Olivia shopping without defining the parameters of the trip first."

"Yeah, are we sure they used my swimmers and not yours?"Sebastian asked, side eyeing Kurt. "I took her to the FAO and-,"

"Oh you poor bastard," Kurt clucked

"Kid got in the store and acted like she was  _freaking possessed_. She wanted  _everything._ I've never seen such carnage and I've been shopping with you."

"She's three and you took her to a toy store without setting any boundaries and after promising her toys. What did you think was gonna happen?" Kurt asked.

"I didn't know she'd turn into the Tasmanian Devil!", Sebastian grumbled. "I could hardly keep up with her and she just  _kept_  putting things in the cart. I tried to tell her no but she turned on the waterworks and reminded me I promised and-"

"Oh she got you good," Kurt laughed.

"It wasn't funny," Sebastian whined. "Her eyes were all big and accusing and her lower lip was trembling and the other parents were looking at me like I was the enemy…," Sebastian trailed off and looked at Kurt. "I couldn't say no."

"You'd better learn," Kurt warned him. "I'm not going to be the bad guy all the time and if she figures out you're a push over she'll take you for all you're worth."

"Yeah well, as we were checking out she reminded me I promised her a pony-"

"So you just went and bought one?"

"Pretty much."

"You can't just…Sebastian she has no idea how to ride a horse."

"I signed her up for lessons."

"That's not the point."

"What is the point?"

Kurt took a deep breath. "The point is, we're her parents. We need to talk about these things. A horse isn't a Barbie or a set of Lincoln Logs. You can't just," Kurt stopped and started again. " _We_  can't just do things like this without consulting each other."

Sebastian stiffened. "I don't need your permission to provide for my child."

Kurt swallowed his indignant reply and counted to ten. "I'm not saying you need my permission-or I need yours," he added quickly, "I'm just saying we need to talk to each other about things that concern her, especially big things. Like horses."

Sebastian was silent for a few beats. "I…I can do that."

"Thank you," Kurt said softly. "I should go check on Olivia. She's being unusually quiet."

"Stay," Sebastian said, tightening his hold on Kurt. "She's fine. Jeff went up there with her. They're probably built one epic blanket fort by now knowing Jeff."

"I.." Kurt's throat closed up and he nodded. "Thank you for giving me mom's locket," he said softly.

Sebastian nodded. "You're welcome. I knew you wanted Olivia to have it someday."

"I do," Kurt confessed quietly. "I was surprised you held onto it."

"I hold onto what's important Kurt," Sebastian said seriously. "You should know that about me by now."

"Last night-"

"Later," Sebastian said. "I know we need to talk. I'm sure you have questions about what you will and won't be permitted to do."

"Excuse me?" Kurt bristled. "Permitted?"

"You heard me," Sebastian said. "I don't trust you as far as I can throw you right now, Kurt."

Kurt felt as a door had been slammed shut in his face and every bit of the intimacy and understanding he'd felt between the two of them in the last few minutes evaporated. "Oh, we're playing facts are fun? Well guess what? I don't trust you either," he spat as he retreated to the edge of the couch.

"I guess that makes us even," Sebastian said harshly. "But it doesn't change anything. I wanted to do this later, maybe over dinner but if you're going to get in a snit and act all offended-"

"I can't imagine why I'd be offended," Kurt hurled back with equal severity.

"Fine," Sebastian barked. "We start calling Olivia by my last name-she's my daughter and she'll have my name. You don't leave the house without your guards. You don't take Olivia anywhere without my permission. Your phone calls are monitored. You're not allowed to drive and all visitors need to be cleared in advance-,"

"Should I look forward to dinners of bread and water and daily exercise out in the yard as well, Warden Smythe?" Kurt snarked sarcastically.

"Don't," Sebastian warned lowly. "I'm…this is more than I was going to give you."

"Are you seriously implying I should be grateful?" Kurt asked incredulously. "Can you hear yourself? Monitored phone calls? All visitors cleared in advance? I'm not a child Sebastian and regardless of what you think I'm not your prisoner and I won't be-"

" _You will be_ ," Sebastian interrupted furiously. "I'm trying here, Kurt. I'm trying-,"

"Trying to what?" Kurt asked, jumping up from the couch. "Remind me of my place? Assert your damn dominance? Punish me? Screw that and screw you. I'm  _here_ , Sebastian. You can't…I won't…stop pushing me. I've given you as much as you're getting," Kurt declared.

Sebastian's control snapped. "You've  _given_  me? You haven't  _given_  me a damn thing since I found you. I've had to take it! I've had to drag every bit of compliance and cooperation out of you-,"

"Cooperation and compliance? You coerced me! You threatened my family and my freedom, Sebastian. That doesn't exactly go a long way in making me compliant and cooperative!"

"You don't get how lucky you are," Sebastian hissed. "You have no idea, none, how patient and understanding I'm trying to be here."

"By making me a virtual prisoner?"

"By giving you a chance to show me I can trust you!" Sebastian erupted, as he leapt to his feet. " _You_  stole from  _me_.  _You_  abandoned  _me_.  _You_  betrayed  _me_. I am giving you a chance to make that up to me, to prove that I can forgive you, that we can move past this.  _I am giving you a chance to earn back my trust!_ "

"Yeah? Well how the hell do you plan to earn back mine?" Kurt fired back. "I'm not the only one who made mistakes and I'm tired of being the only person paying for them. You can either have a husband or a hostage, Sebastian. I refuse to be both," Kurt snarled as he turned his back on a silently fuming Sebastian and left him standing alone in the living room.

As he made his way up the stairs Kurt decided that he was done being pushed around by Sebastian and was ready to start pushing back.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine tries to talk some sense into Sebastian while Kurt takes a stand.

"I fail to see how any of this is my fault."

"Did you not hear what I just said to you?"

"Oh I heard you," Blaine drawled, "I just don't see how you being a complete jackass is my fault."

" _Give him the chance to earn back your trust, Sebastian. Be patient and meet him halfway, Sebastian. Do something special for him to show him how you feel_ ," Sebastian mimicked. "Why the hell was I taking advice from the guy Kurt dumped anyway?"

"Whoa whoa whoa. First of all, I said give him a chance to earn your trust not issue him an inmate number and proceed to recite the terms and conditions of his incarceration. And secondly, Kurt  _did not_  dump me. It was a mutual break up," Blaine countered.

"There's no such thing as a mutual break up," Sebastian said dismissively. "One person always has to bite the bullet and point out the relationship is dead in the water and it's time to bow out gracefully. Kurt bit the bullet and you, my friend, got dumped."

"At least he didn't change his name and flee the state to get away from me," Blaine snapped back.

"Oh that's nice Blaine. That's real nice. Any more of my wounds you want to rub salt in? My father's death is always good for some grade A emotional pain," Sebastian snarked.

"Oh  _you don't even_  want to get started on  _salt_  and  _wounds_ with me buddy and you started it," Blaine huffed. "We've had this conversation before and I have told you numerous times that I was not dumped," he insisted.

"Fine, you weren't dumped. You and Kurt had the only simultaneous mutual breakup in the history of breakups, okay? Now will you help me figure out how to fix the clusterfuck that my marriage has turned into," Sebastian implored.

"Are you sure you want my oh so bad advice?"

"I swear to Christ you and Kurt synchronize your periods," Sebastian groaned into the telephone in frustration. "Blaine? Can you please stop being a whiny bitch for five minutes and help me out here?"

"It's nice to know you haven't outgrown all of your misogyny."

"For fucks sake Blaine-"

"Sebastian what do you want from me?" Blaine asked. "You woke me up at the asscrack of dawn freaking out and wanting advice. I fulfilled my duties as your best friend and gave you fantastic advice that you somehow managed to completely fuck up. What  _I said_  was be honest with him and tell him how he could earn back your trust. Apparently what  _you heard_  was turn the penthouse into Alcatraz and christen him The Birdman. What the hell were you thinking? Of course he got pissed off! What did you expect?"

Blaine sighed heavily. "I'm trying to help you here, Seb. You know that. I want what's best for the both of you and I'll do whatever I can to help but between the threats, blackmail and power trip you've been on since you found him you're not making it easy."

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. "I'm trying, Blaine. This…this whole forgive and forget thing…it's not me. I don't give second chances and I don't forgive betrayal."

"But it's Kurt."

"Yeah," Sebastian breathed out. "It's Kurt. And part of me wants to hurt him even more  _because_  it's Kurt. I trusted him with everything, Blaine _. Everything_  and he threw it back in my face. He made a fool of me and he stole years of my daughter's life that I will never get back. Anyone else and I would have snapped their neck the moment I found them."

"Anyone else and I would have helped you," Blaine agreed. "But it's not anyone else. It's  _Kurt_. And as angry as you are Seb, you love him and against his better judgment, he loves you right back. You keep hanging onto this anger and hurt pride and it's gonna choke the life out of that love."

"I can't just forgive him, Blaine. I went through hell while he was-"

"While he was what, Seb?" Blaine cut in. "Have you asked what his life was like while he was gone? He had a baby to look after and he was scared to death you were on his tail. He left his family, his career, his friends, his entire life. Don't act like that was easy on him."

"He left," Sebastian said coldly. "He chose his hardships. I didn't. I had mine forced on me because he was weak."

"He was scared," Blaine corrected. "If he was weak he never would have come back to you, not knowing how angry you are and how hell bent on revenge you can get. I told you before you need to make a choice here, man. You can't love Kurt and try to destroy him at the same time."

"I'm not-"

"Bullshit," Blaine interrupted. "Kurt values his independence and individuality and defends them like they're fair maidens in an ivory tower. You know that and that's why you keep trying to strip them away from him. You know next to taking Olivia away from him or actually hurting someone he loves, that's the best way to punish him. You're trying to break him down, crush his spirit. The problem with that is if you get your way and actually succeed, you lose the man you love. Kurt isn't Kurt without his spirit and fire. Do you really want to destroy that?"

Sebastian didn't trust himself to answer. Blaine was right. Part of Kurt's appeal had always been that he challenged Sebastian. Even back when Sebastian couldn't stand him and saw him as nothing more than an obstacle in the way of him getting Blaine into his bed, his interactions with Kurt had been  _fun_. He'd kept Sebastian on his toes, forced him to put his best foot forward and called Sebastian out with an impunity that he'd never encountered before or since.

Blaine always accused Sebastian of falling for Kurt the moment the other boy had managed to find a way to both hand him his ass  _and_  take the high road after the whole rock salt slushie incident. Sebastian would go to his grave denying it but Blaine was half right. Sitting alone in that auditorium while his fellow Warblers joined Kurt and his rag tag group of misfits on stage had been the first time Sebastian had been forced to admit to himself if no one else, that Kurt wasn't inferior to him. It had been the first time he'd realized that the chestnut haired beauty was not only on his level but capable of surpassing it. That had been the moment that he stopped seeing the other boy as a nuisance and had started viewing him as an equal. That change in perception had opened his eyes to the possibility that in his pursuit of Blaine he might have underestimated and overlooked Kurt Hummel.

Sebastian didn't want to lose the part of Kurt that made him who he was but he also couldn't ignore that every instinct he had was  _screaming_  at him to get even. Sebastian lived by the Malone code: They pull a knife, you pull a gun. If someone hit him he didn't turn the other cheek, he hit back ten times harder. Kurt had managed to cut him deeper and hit him harder than anyone ever had and the idea of showing simply forgiving him his trespasses was absolutely foreign to Sebastian.

Sebastian had thought that losing his father would be the worst pain he'd ever have to endure in his life but even the devastation of that loss had paled in comparison to realizing that Kurt had left and taken their child with him without leaving so much as a Dear John letter behind.

Sebastian's heart had been broken but almost worse than that his  _pride_  had been injured. He'd trusted Kurt, given away all his secrets, gifted him with both his heart and his name, given him everything he'd ever asked for-including a child, allowed himself to fall completely and believe absolutely and had ended up deserted with his heart and his trust discarded without a word of explanation or apology. He'd felt as if Kurt leaving the way he did was a sign not only of disregard for his feelings but disrespect for his position and his person.

If Sebastian didn't run such a tight ship and word had gotten out his professional reputation would have been in tatters. A man in Sebastian's position was judged partially on his family. If he couldn't be strong as the head of his household then he couldn't be strong as the head of his organization. If Sebastian's men had been a little less loyal and a lot more talkative, Sebastian might have found himself fighting to maintain not only his sanity but his territory and his birthright. If the cover story he and Blaine had crafted had fallen apart Kurt and Olivia would have been meat for the beast, pawns his more ambitious foes would have hunted down and used against him.

Rationally he understood that Kurt had probably never intended to hang the sword of Damocles above his head but the fact remained that he had. Kurt's actions had forced Sebastian to constantly walk on the razor's edge, one misstep away from disaster for the past three years. He'd been under almost unrelenting pressure to hide his grief, disguise his longing and push aside his fear and he wasn't sure he how he was supposed to be expected to forgive Kurt for forcing him to live that way. Sebastian's fantasies had vacillated wildly between reconciliation and revenge in the time that Kurt had been away and now that he was back Sebastian didn't know which dream he most wanted to turn into reality,

Sebastian had nearly shattered when he'd realized that Kurt had to have been planning to leave him for some time. It wasn't like his spur of the moment flight to the Regency. Kurt had taken his time and deliberately planned his defection. He had considered the risks and the rewards, lied to him day after day, had known how it would break Sebastian and still chosen to leave.

Sebastian didn't know if he could ever get over the pain and anguish of the last few years. He'd been haunted by an ever present fear that his enemies would start hunting his family. He'd been plagued by never ending questions about his daughter: where was she, how was she, did she look like him, questions he feared he'd never get the answer to. He'd been nearly obsessed with thoughts of Kurt and whether he was happy or if he were as miserable as Sebastian was, whether he regretted leaving, whether he wanted to come home or if he'd found a new love to go along with his new life.

On more than one occasion Sebastian had been jarred awake by nightmares of something catastrophic happening to his family before he could find them. He'd imagined car accidents and house fires, workplace shootings and stranger abductions, random acts of violence and indiscriminate acts of God, a million different scenarios that could have taken their lives before he'd had a chance to be reunited with them.

That first night he'd spent curled up on the floor of his daughter's nursery Sebastian had made himself a promise. He'd sworn that for every birthday and anniversary he spent alone, for every time he'd had to listen to his mother cry over not being permitted to see her grandchild, for every sleepless night and every tear he'd cried he'd make Kurt pay.

Sebastian had intended to keep that promise. He had intended to make Kurt suffer, to crush his heart and shatter his pride just like Kurt had done to him but that easier said than done. It only been two days and Sebastian found himself torn between his desire for vengeance and his love for his husband.

The moment he'd laid eyes on him again Sebastian had been caught up in a whirlwind of emotion that he couldn't control and could scarcely contain. The bottom line was that even though Kurt were a liar, betrayer and kidnapper he was still the love of Sebastian's life. Beneath all the hurt and pain the truth was that Kurt set his heart on fire, he always had and Sebastian suspected he always would. The problem was that Sebastian had never quite figured out how to keep from being consumed by the flames. He'd already played the part of Icarus and flown too close to the sun once before and Sebastian had no desire to reprise the role.

"Still there?"

"Yes Blaine, I'm still here."

"And?"

"And I don't know," Sebastian admitted. "He fucked me over and I'm pissed about it."

"You have every right to be. I was here and I saw what his leaving did to you but at the end of the day Seb, the bottom line is you can spend the rest of your life being angry with Kurt or you can spend the rest of your life being happy with Kurt," Blaine said, laying out his options. "You have to choose. I'm not saying you can't be angry; I'm just saying you can't be angry forever."

"I trusted him before and he threw it back in my face."

"I'm sure if you asked him he'd say the same about you right about now."

"I called you so could help me not take his side," Sebastian grumbled.

"And now I understand the meaning of the phrase you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink," Blaine muttered. "This isn't about sides, Seb. And if it is, you know whose side I'm on? I'm on  _Olivia's_  side. I'm on the side of my god daughter growing up happy, healthy and with two functional parents who aren't reenacting a mash up of Kramer versus Kramer and The War of the Roses, so how about you just tell me what you need from me. You need to vent, I'm here to listen. You need me to come distract you; I've got golf clubs with your name on them. You need me to talk to Kurt, I'll talk to Kurt. You need me to watch Livvie for a couple of days so you and Kurt can fight it out without a distraction, Uncle Blaine is at your service. But you have to understand that nothing I do is gonna help until you figure out how to let go of some of this anger and decide whether or not reconciliation or revenge is your ultimate goal," Blaine advised.

"Honestly? Right now it's a bit of both," Sebastian admitted. "I don't know which one I want more."

Blaine was silent for a few moments. "Pick the one that has consequences you can live with," he advised. "In ten years from now would it haunt you more to have not gotten back  _at_ him or not gotten back  _with_  him? You answer that question and the rest will work itself out."

Sebastian nodded and then chuckled slightly when he remembered Blaine couldn't see him. "You know, I didn't believe Kurt when he said that you played the role of Gay Yoda when you two first met, but now I think I can see it."

"Always two there are a master and an apprentice," Blaine replied smugly. "I'm an awesome mentor. The two of you would be lost without my wisdom and guidance."

"Oh yeah, master?" Sebastian scoffed. "Where was all this wisdom on your twenty-first birthday? You know, at your party when you-"

"We agreed never to speak of this again, Sebastian."

"-Fell off the bar in the middle of singing I'm Too Sexy-"

"I didn't fall, it was part of the choreography-"

"Uh huh, and then when Kurt and I got you upstairs into bed, you started in on how you wanted to lick me like a lollipop and since Kurt was such a fan of Lady Gaga he could ride your disco stick-"

"As if a guy who once actually used the phrase giddy up and ride em cowboy during sex has any room to criticize! At least I was drunk. What's your excuse?"

"And then when Kurt declined you decided he just needed to be properly motivated so you bolted out into the hallway where you resumed stripping-," Sebastian continued on undeterred.

"Don't remind me. Santana still has me listed in her phone as bow chicka bow wow," Blaine moaned.

"Oh, it was a fabulous show right up until you got mad at the shirt you couldn't unbutton-"

"Do we have to rehash this?"

"Then you finally just gave up and Hulk Hoganed your way out of it-"

"Sebastian-"

"Balled it up and threw on the ground with the rest of your clothing and then proceeded to whip out your dick and piss on the clothes because, and I quote,  _you were an American and you pissed on fancy foreign designers who refused to make buttons Americans could undo_ -"

"I've seen the video Seb. Wes makes sure to send me a copy every year."

"Never mind the fact you were wearing Tommy Hilfiger," Sebastian laughed. "Then you gave everyone the finger for laughing at you and passed out in the hallway."

"Thank you for that mortifying trip down memory lane. I'm hanging up on you now."

"Just keeping you in your place, small fry. Can't let you get too cocky."

"Of course not. In this friendship the role of cocky son of a bitch is being played by Sebastian Smythe."

"You love me anyway," Sebastian returned smoothly. "And Blaine? Thanks."

"Don't mention it-or my twenty-first birthday-ever again," the other man laughed before hanging up.

As he sat behind his desk Sebastian realized that Blaine was right. He had two roads in front of him. One of them led to reunification and the other to retribution. He knew that he'd eventually have to make a choice as to which path he wanted to follow, but he wasn't quite ready to decide just yet.

He also didn't have all the information he needed to make his decision. He had no idea where Kurt stood. The other man had told him he loved him the night before but he'd been exhausted and Sebastian knew that Kurt tended to lean towards the sentimental where sex was involved. The endearment could be easily written off as Kurt falling into old habits or simply returning Sebastian's own slip of emotion. Kurt had run hot and cold earlier when Sebastian and Olivia had returned home and Sebastian was frustrated that he couldn't get a read on his husband's emotions.

He knew that Kurt was preparing himself for a lifetime of misery and isolation and their earlier conversation had done nothing to reassure him. If Kurt had been telling truth and he still loved Sebastian, that love would quickly die out if Sebastian subjected him to an existence of nonstop suffering. The way Kurt had curled into him as they'd slept and then again earlier on the couch gave Sebastian a tiny flicker of hope that Kurt was still his in every sense of the word and regardless of his own indecision Sebastian wasn't ready to let the ember of hope die out. He knew he had to do something to keep the fire burning but in Kurt's current state that was going to be easier said than done. He needed time to make up his mind and he needed that time to be as conflict free as possible. For the sake of their daughter and any future they might have, they needed to not be at each other's throats.

Even though he was no closer to figuring out what road he was going to take Sebastian decided he needed to both distract Kurt from his unhappiness and remind him that their life together hadn't been all doom and gloom and that Sebastian had brought him just as much heaven as he had hell.

Making a decision and taking a deep breath he picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.

The phone was answered on the third ring. "Hummel residence, this is Burt."

"Burt, this is Sebastian. Don't hang up-" he added quickly.

"I told you I didn't have anything to say to you and I meant it," Burt cut in coldly.

"Yeah yeah and you'll live to dance on my grave," Sebastian snapped, "I remember. I'm calling to tell you that your son and your granddaughter are here and I think…no I know that Kurt would appreciate seeing his family."

There was silence on the other end of the line and then rapid breathing. "Kurt…Kurt came back to you?"

Sebastian paused. "He did," he said, opting for a half truth as to not provoke an overprotective and on alert Burt Hummel. "He um…we're figuring things out."

"You do anything to hurt my boy, Sebastian?" Burt demanded gruffly.

"I've done far less than most men would've in my place," Sebastian fired back. "I haven't beaten him, he hasn't been water boarded or otherwise tortured and I don't have him chained up in some basement. Kurt's fine. I just thought that you'd like to come see your son and your granddaughter."

"Why?" Burt asked suspiciously. "It's been three years of radio silence and now you show up bearing a gift that looks like one hell of a Trojan Horse. Forgive me if I can't quite take you at face value, kid."

Sebastian closed his eyes and pushed down the lump in his throat. Losing Kurt had meant losing Kurt's family and being cast out of the bosom of the Hudmel family embrace had been an added blow to Sebastian's already fragile ego. "If I recall correctly the three years of radio silence wasn't my choice. Regardless, Kurt's home. Do you want to see him?"

"Of course I want to see him," Burt said thickly. "I want to talk to him. Put him on the phone."

"He's upstairs sulking. We're…we're readjusting and we hit a snag in the negotiations-"

"You mean you pissed him off and he read you the riot act and stormed away," Burt interrupted with the barest hint of humor in his voice.

"Something like that," Sebastian admitted running a hand through his hair.

"And you figured a visit from his family might get you out of the doghouse."

"I'm not being led around by my balls," Sebastian bristled, a little upset at how close to the truth Burt had gotten. "This isn't about me getting out of the doghouse. I just figured he'd be less of a contrary bit-", Sebastian swallowed his words when he remembered he was talking to Kurt's father. "I figured he'd be less combative if he got a visit from you guys. I think it might make him a little happier to remind him of all the things he's getting back by coming home."

"I'm not stupid, kid," Burt said quietly. "I talked to Kurt not too long ago and he never said a word about coming back to you. He was…resigned to his life. I don't know how you did it but I know this wasn't his choice, not entirely. Now I don't know what's going on between the two of you but I won't have you trying to use me to hurt my boy."

"If I were using you to hurt him I'd keep you from him," Sebastian said bluntly.

"That's not exactly reassuring Sebastian."

"I'm not interested in reassuring you, right now Burt," Sebastian said honestly. "I'm just…I'm making the effort. Okay? It's all I can do."

Burt was quiet for a heartbeat then sighed. "Tell me when to be ready and Carole and I are there. I miss my son and I would very much like to see my grandbaby."

Sebastian promised to call Burt back with finalized flight arrangements and hung up feeling a little lighter. He was making a good faith gesture. He only hoped that Kurt would accept and reciprocate.

Before the smile had left his face there was a timid knock on his door.

"Come in."

A nervous looking Jeff entered. "Uh..M-Mr. Smythe s-sir. I-uh ah um s-sir"

"Jeff," Sebastian said softly. "I'm going to assume by your stuttering and the fact that you're calling me Mr. Smythe that you're bringing me bad news. Now, I don't have patience for beating around the bush. Just spit it out."

Jeff gulped. "Kurt…um…Kurt kind of…left."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "That's not unexpected. He's in a bit of a snit. He'll get over it. Who'd he take with him?"

Jeff licked his lips nervously and shifted from foot to foot. "Well, that's kind of the thing"

"Who's guarding my husband, Jeffrey?" Sebastian asked with deadly calm.

"Wes and Shane," Jeff replied quickly.

Sebastian smiled. Kurt taking his guards meant that as angry as he'd been he'd acquiesced to Sebastian's demands. He was complying and as far Sebastian was concerned, Kurt owed him a bit of cooperation. "Then what's the issue? My orders were if he leaves the house, he takes his guards. I don't see the problem here, Jeffrey."

"He um…he didn't really…Kurt kind of…he-"

"He what?"

"He took Olivia too."

Sebastian felt a hot sliver of rage slice through him. "I told every single one of you that he wasn't to leave this house with my child without my permission."

"I know"

"You all disregarded a direct order."

"Not on purpose!" Jeff cried, holding his hands up. "He had her in his arms and he just sort of…walked out. I mean, after what happened with Thad you said no more violence in front of Olivia so we couldn't exactly tackle him when he was already carrying her and she was all excited about going to swing and-"

"Stop talking, Jeffrey."

"Yes sir."

Sebastian grit his teeth. "I said  _stop talking_. That means no more words. Leave. Get out!" Sebastian ordered.

As soon as Jeff closed the door Sebastian heaved his desk lamp at it. As the delicate piece shattered against the heavy oak door, he sank back into his chair, incensed. Kurt had openly defied him and undermined his authority with his men. Part of him wanted to call Wes and Shane and tell them to drag him home.

The rest of him remembered that revenge was a dish best served cold.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian reach a tentative truce but is all what it seems?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been to NYC but I tried to research Central Park and I hope that the attractions and the things I have Kurt and Olivia doing aren't too far out of the realm of possibility.

The first hour they were out hardly registered with Kurt.  Fueled by a heated mixture of anger, righteous indignation and wounded pride Kurt had been determined to make a stand and show Sebastian that he wouldn’t simply roll over and play dead.  As he’d watched Olivia play with the other children he had resolutely shoved aside all thoughts of negative consequences for blatantly disregarding Sebastian’s orders and pointedly ignored Wes’s subtle suggestions about heading back home, even going so far as to   specifically forbid the other man from contacting Sebastian for the duration of their outing.

Kurt was aware that there was a significant power imbalance in his marriage and that Sebastian held the majority of that power but it wasn’t in his nature to submit without a fight.  He knew that Sebastian wouldn’t let his act of defiance pass without some sort of retribution but Kurt decided he’d pay the toll for crossing that bridge when he got to it.  As far Kurt was concerned, any punishment he might receive would be worth it for making it clear to Sebastian that he couldn’t be expected to simply obey without question or complaint. 

The second hour was split between Olivia exploring the Alice in Wonderland sculpture and heading to Conservatory Water to show Olivia where the boat race in Stuart Little had taken place.  Kurt had spent the third hour covertly snapping photographs of Wes and Shane playing tag and riding the carousel with Olivia before feeding her when she complained about being hungry.

Once Olivia had been fed to her very distinct specifications she insisted on feeding the ducks.  They’d been at the pond for a little over a half an hour before Olivia began showing signs of exhaustion and Kurt felt a twinge of guilt for keeping the little girl out during her regular nap time.  She had already spent the entire morning out with Sebastian and Kurt knew that Olivia had to be exhausted by all the activity.  Satisfied that he’d made his point and feeling slightly ashamed of using his child to do so, Kurt decided it was time to head back.  Wes’s relief was visible and Kurt felt another twinge of guilt at possibly getting Wes and Shane into trouble with Sebastian. 

It wasn’t until they had made it home and Kurt had settled Olivia down for her nap that he realized Sebastian hadn’t made any attempt to interfere with their outing and that the man in question was nowhere to be found.  Kurt was torn between being relieved by Sebastian’s absence and concerned at what the lack of the other man’s presence could mean.  Kurt decided to make use of his time alone by trying to sort through his feelings.  He made his way through the master bedroom, stepped out onto the balcony and curled up in one of the chairs to reflect on his present set of circumstances.

Even though the day’s activities had been mainly to provoke Sebastian, being out and about in the city had reminded Kurt of how much he loved New York and how much he’d missed it.  Although he’d come to appreciate and even enjoy Portland, it had never felt like home the way that New York did.  Kurt wished the circumstances were different but he couldn’t deny there was a part of him that was happy to be back and excited about the prospect of sharing the city with Olivia and watching her fall in love with it just like he had. 

The idea of watching her fall in love with Sebastian however filled him with conflicting emotions that threatened to swallow him whole.

Kurt had no fears that Sebastian would directly harm Olivia.  From the moment she’d been placed in his arms Sebastian had treasured their daughter.  While he’d been in hiding Kurt had suffered more than enough sleepless nights, tangled up in the guilty sweat soaked sheets of his empty bed imagining the pain Sebastian must have endured at being separated from their child.  His conversation with Blaine had left little doubt that whatever images of Sebastian’s suffering Kurt had conjured up paled in comparison to the real thing.  Kurt wasn’t sure where he fit into the equation but he was absolutely certain that having Olivia back in his life was taming at least some of the pieces of Sebastian that he’d allowed to become wild and feral in their absence.  In the short time that they’d been reunited the little girl had managed to thoroughly wrap her father around her delicate little finger and Kurt had no doubt that Sebastian would do absolutely anything for her. 

The problem was that while most parents felt they’d do anything for their children, most parents weren’t Sebastian and didn’t live by his Machiavellian code of conduct.  Kurt had already found himself pushed far beyond the boundaries of anything he would have thought he was capable of out of love for his daughter; he was terrified at the prospect of Sebastian finding himself in a situation that he felt justified the same compromising of his already ambiguous morality.  ‘ _Anything_ ’ by Sebastian’s standards left enough gray areas to make Kurt’s blood run cold.

And yet…it also comforted him.  Now that they were back with Sebastian, the very same set of circumstances that had caused his flight in the first place were the same things Kurt needed to count on to keep them safe.  The guards, the guns, and Sebastian’s ruthless suppression or outright elimination of any threats to himself, his business or his family were all that stood between Kurt, Olivia and any number of unknown and unspecified threats.  Kurt knew he would die for Olivia but he wasn’t sure that unless it was in the heat of the moment he had it in him to kill for her.  The idea of taking another person’s life and having actual blood on his hands was so foreign a concept for Kurt that he couldn’t even fathom it and he knew that type of hesitance in the world they were now living in could end in death or disaster.  If there was a choice to be made or a trigger to be pulled, Kurt took cold comfort in the knowledge that the task would fall to Sebastian and the other man would have none of Kurt’s reluctance to do whatever needed to be done.

Kurt wasn’t ready to examine what it said about the breakdown of his own moral compass that he could take any solace in the knowledge that his husband was, either by his hand or his proxy, a murderer so he turned his attention to contemplating the state of his marriage.

Kurt wasn’t sure where he stood with Sebastian.  At times it felt as if they were taking tentative steps towards reconciliation and at other times it felt as if they were at war with one another. 

Kurt knew he couldn’t place the blame for that entirely on Sebastian.  He’d done his fair share of button pushing and boundary crossing over the last couple of days.  He also knew that they couldn’t continue playing tit for tat or everyone-including Olivia-would suffer. 

Knowing that they had to find some way to peacefully coexist was a far cry from actually knowing how to accomplish that feat however.  Kurt had no idea how to bridge the gap between them or even if it was possible to do so.  Love, Kurt mused, wasn’t the issue and as far as Kurt was concerned it never had been.  Kurt had loved his husband when he left and loved him-sometimes resentfully, often reluctantly but always relentlessly-every day since.  Had the Beatles been right all you needed was love there wouldn’t be a problem.  But real life wasn’t a pop song and even if Kurt was completely besotted it didn’t change the fact that he and Sebastian were at opposite ends of the battlefield.  Even if he could convince Sebastian to lay down his arms and negotiate a cease fire he was worried their positions were too far apart to ever reach an accord.   He still didn’t want Olivia growing up in a world of car bombs and criminal investigations, Sebastian still either couldn’t- _or wouldn’t_ -walk away from his organization and Kurt absolutely refused to be the only one making concessions or compromises.

And if that weren’t enough of a bone of contention, there was the matter of Kurt’s leaving.  Looking back, Kurt could acknowledge that he had other options, he’d just too blinded by fear and desperation to see them.  He was also acutely aware that Sebastian wasn’t interested in his motivations or rationalizations.  He was angry and betrayed and no matter what remnants of romantic love might remain between them Kurt knew probably better than anyone how Sebastian dealt with betrayal.  Sebastian didn’t forgive, he didn’t forget and the devil on his shoulder always made sure to extract its pound of flesh and while Kurt could admit he hadn’t been entirely justified, he had too much pride to spend the rest of his life paying Sebastian’s special brand of penance.

“I’d offer you a penny for your thoughts but nothing about you ever came cheap,” Sebastian’s voice sounded from the doorway pulling Kurt from his musings.

“You get what you pay for,” Kurt murmured looking warily at where Sebastian stood.

“I come in peace,” Sebastian said with a hint of a smile. 

Kurt said nothing and but gestured to the spot across from him, his gaze sharp and suspicious as Sebastian dropped gracefully into the offered seat.

“It occurs to me that I may have been a little insensitive earlier-,” Sebastian began.

“You don’t say,” Kurt muttered sarcastically.

Sebastian’s mouth tightened into a grim line.  “As I was saying, I may have been a bit-”

“A bit?”

“Damn it, Kurt I’m trying to apologize to you.  Will you please take the tampon out of your vagina long enough to let me,” Sebastian growled out in frustration.

“Oh fuck you and the misogynistic horse you rode in on,” Kurt fired back rising from the table, all thoughts about peaceful coexistence vanishing in a whirlwind of anger and irritation.

Sebastian’s hand shot out and his fingers curled around Kurt’s wrist.  “Don’t leave okay.  Just…fuck…Kurt, I’m trying here okay?”

“Trying to do what?”  Kurt asked quietly, his eyes frozen on the spot where Sebastian was restraining him.  “Drive me to drink? Get me to commit murder? Because I have to be honest Bas, I’ve been giving serious thought to baking you a cake with some rat poisoned sprinkles.”

Sebastian chuckled darkly before grinning slyly and letting go of Kurt’s wrist.  “What’s your defense gonna be?  He had it coming?”

Kurt’s lips kicked up in a shadow of smile as he dropped back into his seat and shrugged.  “Some guys just can’t hold their arsenic.”

Sebastian gave Kurt a small but genuine smile.  “I don’t want to be one of those guys Kurt,” he said softly.

“Then don’t be,” Kurt said quietly.  “I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out if we can fix what’s broken.  I don’t know if we can,” he admitted, his voice breaking a bit before he took a steadying breath and continuing.  “I don’t even know where to start trying but I do know that I don’t want us be enemies.  I don’t trust you and you don’t trust me.  There’s a lot of anger and pain between us right now and I’ll take my share of the blame for that but we have start at least trying to move past it or this is never going to work and Olivia is going to be the one to suffer for it.”

“You’re right,” Sebastian nodded.  “I don’t trust you.  That’s why I don’t want you taking Olivia out without my permission.  And yeah, I’m angry with you.  I don’t know when or even if that’s gonna go away but I don’t want our child in the middle of all the ugliness.”

“I’m not overly thrilled with you at the moment either,” Kurt said bluntly.  “But that’s not Olivia’s fault and it shouldn’t turn into her burden to bear.  Our daughter shouldn’t be a weapon we use against each other and I shouldn’t have included her in my…declaration of independence earlier.”

“I’m glad that you-”

“Not,” Kurt rushed to continue, “that I was wrong for declaring my independence, mind you.  I’m not going to sit, roll over and beg just because you say so but…I should have left Olivia out of it.”

“We can agree on that much,” Sebastian said quietly.  “Olivia shouldn’t have been dragged into this morning’s mess.”

“So,” Kurt said after a moment, “This is us.  Communicating.”

“So it would seem.”

“This is good.  I’ve come down from rat poison sprinkles and am now in more of an Exlax brownie mood,” Kurt confided.

“You realize I’m never eating anything you bake ever again,” Sebastian remarked dryly.  “And I’ve arranged a bit of a surprise for you so-”

“Surprise like Hoffa was surprised or-,”

“Ah, cute you got jokes.  No Kurt, not like Hoffa was surprised-and for the millionth time before you ask no I have no idea what really happened to him and no I will not ask anyone to tell me,” Sebastian sighed.  “I’m trying to do something nice for you here.  Let me.”

“Okay,” Kurt said slowly.  “Do I get a hint what my surprise is?”

“It’s something I know you want.  You’ll get your surprise at dinner, which will be at six.  Now, I have to go make sure all the arrangements are in place-”

“Sebastian,” Kurt interrupted quietly.  “Thank you for trying to meet me halfway.”

“No need to thank me Kurt,” Sebastian said, an expression that Kurt couldn’t quite place flitting over his face briefly before he gave Kurt a small smile.  He reached out and gently cupped Kurt’s face, his fingers lightly trailing over Kurt’s jaw.  “It isn’t all about Olivia, you know.  I find myself increasingly motivated to make sure you get everything you deserve,” Sebastian confessed softly before placing a brief kiss on Kurt’s forehead.  “I’ll see you at dinner.”

As he watched his husband walk away Kurt was torn between his hope that Sebastian’s words had been a promise for better days ahead and his fear that they were a prophecy of worse things to come.  He wanted to trust Sebastian and believe that they had turned a corner but he couldn’t push away the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach warning him that this was merely the calm before the storm.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt gets a surprise that he never expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took a bit longer than I anticipated to get it out and very appreciative for all the encouragement, support and understanding that I've gotten from readers and as always my [Tumblr](http://St-sebklaine.tumblr.com)is always open to you guys for any kind of feedback/questions/suggestions/comments that you might have :)

“Olivia,” Kurt said patiently, “if you don’t put on your dress then we’ll miss dinner and we won’t get to see what Papa’s surprise is.  I know you like surprises sweetie so would you please stop being so difficult and put your dress on now?”

“No.”  Olivia said crossing her arms and scowling at the dress that Kurt held up in front of her.  “It’s green daddy.”

“It isn't green, it's chartreuse,” Kurt corrected absently, as he placed the dress on the bed and began selecting accessories to go with it.  “And you’ll look lovely in it.”

“Daddy, I can’t wear green,” Olivia whined.

“Chartreuse.  And why, child of mine, has chartreuse suddenly been banished from our wardrobe?”

“I want to look pretty for Papa and I look pretty in purple,” Olivia answered as if it didn’t need explaining.

“Sweetheart,” Kurt said coming to kneel in front of Olivia.  “Your papa would think you were the most beautiful little girl in the whole wide world even if you were in a paisley print with all your colors clashing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Kurt answered, as he kissed her on the nose and rose to his feet.  “Besides _green_ is your daddy’s favorite color.”

“Why?”  Olivia asked as she permitted Kurt to finally get her dressed.  He made quick work of getting her into her tights, dress and shoes before the little diva changed her mind.

“Because it’s the color of money,” Kurt joked as he began brushing Olivia’s hair.

“And envy,” Sebastian added as he strode into the room and stood behind Kurt.  He hooked his chin over Kurt’s shoulder and made a silly face at Olivia in the mirror, causing the little girl to giggle and Kurt to roll his eyes fondly.

“Envy is hardly a good thing, Bas.”

“Au contraire Cherie,” Sebastian smirked.  “Being envious is nobody’s idea of a good time but being envied?  Even if we don’t admit it being the object of envy is something we all aspire to.  It’s always better to be the Jones’s than the poor schmuck trying to keep up with them.”

“What’s a smuck?” Olivia asked.

“It’s a-”

“It’s a grown up word,” Kurt said, as he spoke over Sebastian and lightly elbowed him in the side.  “So Papa and I don’t want to hear that you’ve been saying it, okay?”

“Okay,” Olivia agreed, sitting still so Kurt could finish brushing her hair.

“All done, sugar plum,” Kurt announced as he finished tying Olivia’s bow.  “And you look every bit the pretty princess you are.”

Olivia preened and slid from the bench in front of her vanity table and eyed Kurt and Sebastian critically.  “You and papa look nice too.”

“Thank you sweetheart,” Sebastian beamed.

“Wait for it,” Kurt stage whispered to Sebastian.

“But not as nice as I do,” Olivia said, twirling in front of her parents.

“Told you so,” Kurt sighed, shaking his head.

Sebastian just chuckled and picked Olivia up in his arms.  “Not even in kindergarten and you’ve already mastered the backhanded compliment.  Papa is impressed.  And now,” he asked looking over the top of Olivia’s head at Kurt, “Are you and daddy ready for your surprise?  Because it’s waiting for you in the living room.”

Kurt felt the nerves he’d tried to bury spark back to life at Sebastian’s words.  Part of him was convinced that he was a lamb being led to slaughter and the other part of him was confident that if Sebastian’s surprise was anything vengeful or unpleasant that he wouldn’t have involved Olivia.  He gave an overly bright smile and clapped his hands together.  “Okay then, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” he asked holding his hand out to Sebastian.

“Calm down,” Sebastian murmured as he shifted Olivia over to rest on his opposite hip and took Kurt’s hand.  “You’ll love this, I promise.”

Kurt gave Sebastian a small smile and slipped his hand into his husband’s palm.  “Gonna hold you to that.”

“If you don’t absolutely love your surprise,” Sebastian murmured, leaning in so his breath tickled the shell of Kurt’s ear.  “I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight.”

“And if I do,” Kurt questioned softly.

Sebastian grinned.  “Then neither one of us will be sleeping,” he replied with a flirty wink.

Kurt felt his face heat up but he saved from having to respond by Olivia’s impatience.

“Papa, daddy, let’s goooo,” Olivia whined, drawing out the o.  “I want my surprise.”

“Well, far be it for me to keep a princess waiting,” Sebastian said, leading them out of the room and towards the staircase.  “I really want you to enjoy this, Kurt,” he said softly.

“I hope I can,” Kurt replied honestly as he made his way down the stairs.

As he hit the middle of the staircase and the muffled voices he heard coming from the living room became clearer Kurt had to grip the banister to keep from losing his balance.

“What’s taking so long?  If Sebastian’s just jerking us around I swear to God-”

“Honey, calm down.  I’m sure Sebastian wouldn’t have brought us all this way if he weren’t telling the truth.”

“I don’t know how you can trust him mom.  Not after everything he’s done.”

“I’m not saying I trust him, I’m just saying that there’s no sense in getting all riled up without proof that he’s actually up to anything.”

Kurt’s heart jack hammered in his chest.  He began hyperventilating and thought Sebastian called out for Blaine but he could barely hear over blood pounding in his ears.  The last thing he remembered was his hand involuntarily going slack on the railing before he pitched forward and darkness enveloped him.

* * *

Kurt came to in bed, a cold cloth pressed against his forehead, Sebastian plastered to his side and a rich, familiar voice urging him to wake up.

“That’s it, buddy.  There you go.  Open up those baby blues and let me get a good look at you, huh?”

“Come on, Kurt.  Even for someone with your flair for the dramatic this is getting to be a bit much.  I need you to wake up and yell at me for using inappropriate language in front of our daughter because I told Blaine to get his hobbit ass up the stairs and catch you before you fell.”

Kurt blinked, once, twice, and then gradually the fuzzy shapes in front of him began to take form.

“Bas,” Kurt muttered.  “Wha happn’d?”

“You swooned like a southern belle with a case of the vapors and scared the hell out of everybody.  Remind me to never surprise you again,” Sebastian answered but the words lacked bite and Kurt could see the wrinkle that only appeared between Sebastian’s brows when he was upset was firmly in place and his eyes were anxious.

“’M fine,” Kurt assured him, reaching up to stroke away the worry line.  “And I’m going to have to invest in a bigger jar if you keep swearing in front of Livvie.”

Sebastian brushed a kiss across Kurt’s fingertips.  “You scared me,” he confessed.

“Didn’t mean to,” Kurt apologized.  “I just…I thought I heard my dad and…” he trailed off and shrugged.

“That’s because you did,” A voice sounded from his other side.

“Dad?”  Kurt croaked, turning over and coming face to face with his father for the first time in years.  “It wasn’t…I didn’t…Are you really here?”  Kurt asked reaching out wildly.

“I’m really here,” Burt confirmed, grasping Kurt’s hand firmly and bringing it to rest over his heartbeat.  “I’m right here, in the flesh.  And Finn and Carole are downstairs with Blaine and that little girl of yours-you done real good with her, Kurt.  She’s pistol, just like you were at her age but she’s perfect and she’s already got Carole and your brother wrapped around her little finger.”

“Dad,” Kurt whispered, choking on all the words he couldn’t say and all the questions he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

“It’s okay,” Burt soothed.  “It’s okay son.  We’ve got time.”

Kurt giggled hysterically, causing Burt and Sebastian to share a look of alarm.  “I’m fine,” he managed to wheeze out.  “I just… _time_.  Time, dad.  For the last three years I’ve had five minutes with you, one day out of the year and now you’re saying we have time and there’s so much I have to tell you and so much I want to know and now _we have time_.”

The worry drained from Burt’s face and he smiled at his son.  “We have time,” he confirmed.  “Now, I’m gonna go let Carole and Finn know that you’re awake and you’re okay.  We’ll meet you downstairs.”

Burt rose and Kurt panicked.  “Dad,” Kurt called out, sudden fear making his voice sharp as he clung to his father.

“Hey, hey buddy calm down,” Burt quieted his son.  “If you don’t want me to go, I’ll stay right here with you, okay.  Its fine, son.  I don’t mind.  Sebastian, you wanna go let everyone know Kurt’s awake.”

Sebastian nodded with obvious reluctance.  “Bring him down when he’s ready,” he said to Burt as he rose and made his way to the doorway.

“Bas,” Kurt cried out, stopping his husband’s departure.  “You were right.  I love my surprise.”

“I’m glad.  Though next time I plan a surprise for you for safety’s sake I’ll make sure I have smelling salts on hand and both hands free to catch you,” he teased with a wink before exiting.

There was a tiny beat of silence and then Burt cleared his throat.  “You two seem to be doing alright,” he ventured cautiously.

“We’re…getting there,” Kurt allowed.  “But I don’t want to talk about my marriage, at least not right now.  I want to talk about you.  Tell me how you are.  How’s Carole? How’s Finn?  Oh my God, I even want you tell me what’s going on in Lima?  I just, I want to know everything, Dad.”

“And I want to tell you everything,” Burt said, squeezing Kurt’s hand.  “But I’m pretty sure if we don’t get down those stairs that little girl of yours will be leading the charge up here to here to drag us down.”

Kurt shot up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and trying to stand so quickly that it caused Burt to yell out a warning.  “I have to get to Olivia,” he explained.  “I must have scared her so badly.”

Burt chuckled.  “Hate to burst your bubble kid, but she was too busy being disappointed that we were Sebastian’s surprise to pay you much attention.  According to the little lady if they aren’t from Sesame Street, people aren’t a good surprise.”

Kurt groaned.  “I swear I don’t know where she gets it from.”

Burt shot him a dubious side eye.  “I can’t imagine,” he said dryly.

“Oh no,” Kurt protested.  “I was nowhere near Olivia levels of divadom when I was that age.”

“Kid, you once refused to go on a play date with Jimmy Jenson because his mom came to pick you up wearing a muumuu.  Claimed if the woman couldn’t be trusted to know better than to go out in public in a muumuu then she clearly couldn’t be trusted with, and I quote, the care and feeding of Kurt E. Hummel.”

“You say this as if I were in the wrong,” Kurt defended himself.  “Jimmy Jenson had a mullet with a rattail.  A rattail, Dad.  You were trying to send me off with a woman who deemed muumuu’s and mullets acceptable fashion choices.”

“Son-”

“And named her only child Jimmy John Jenson,” Kurt continued.

Burt held his hands up.  “All of which you pointed out to her before closing the door in her face.  Clearly it was a crisis averted.  I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said wryly.  “Good thing I had my _five year old_  to show me the light.”

Kurt’s lips twitched.  “Not funny, Dad.”

“Oh, watching Sebastian get his ass handed to him by my grandbaby?”  Burt grinned.  “It’s a little bit funny, son.”

“She let him have it, huh?”

“With both barrels,” Burt confirmed cheerfully.

“Dad,” Kurt sighed. 

“What?”  Burt asked.  “Can’t a man enjoy his grandchildren?”

“Uh huh,” Kurt said suspiciously.  “Sure he can, as long as that’s all he’s enjoying.”

“What else could there be,” Burt asked, the edge unmistakable in his voice.

“Dad,” Kurt said, reaching out and grabbing Burt’s elbow.  “I know you’re angry with Sebastian-”

“Angry doesn’t quite cover it, son.”

“I know,” Kurt said quietly, “but a lot has happened over the last few days and…we’re trying Dad.  Bas and I are trying to get to a good place and I could really use your support.”

“I swore to Carole I wouldn’t do this,” Burt said, dragging a hand down his face.  “But if you’re gonna ask something like that of me then we’re gonna talk this thing out right now,” he said taking a seat on the bed and motioning for Kurt to join him.

“Dad-”

“Do you know the night you told me you were gonna marry Sebastian I got rip roaring drunk?”  Burt began without preamble.  “I was convinced that you were making the biggest mistake of your life and no matter what I said you just, you wouldn’t _listen_.  You were bound and determined to marry Sebastian and so damn sure that you were right and everything would be okay and kid, I wanted to rip those rose colored glasses off of your face and force you to see the truth but,”  Burt shook his head.  “You were so damn happy, happier than I’d ever seen you so I cracked open a bottle and didn’t stop drinking til I got to the bottom.”

“I was happy,” Kurt stated.  “I may not have been…I didn’t let myself think about anything else but how much I loved him and how much he loved me.  I convinced myself that us loving each other was all that mattered and dad?  For a long time it was, when it just about me and Bas, it _was_ all that mattered.”

“Kids have a funny way of changing your perspective,” Burt remarked.

“Bas didn’t want kids,” Kurt confessed.  “He was adamant about not bringing a child into this world, into this life and I was the one who convinced him that it would be okay.  I forced the issue, Dad and then when it turned out that everything he’d been warning about me about was real…I ran.”

“Kurt, you were trying to keep yourself and your kid safe.  You did what you thought was best.”

Kurt shook his head.  “You know dad, I thought so at the time but now…I’m not so sure.  Blaine said something that I haven’t been able to get out of my head.  He said that no matter what I changed her name to or where we went Livvie would always be Sebastian’s daughter and, he’s right.  I look at her sometimes and all I can see is him.  And Dad?  I chose this.  I chose this for myself and then I chose it for her and I…I put all the blame for it not being what I wanted it to be on Sebastian when the truth is it was both of us.”

“If you’re waiting to hear me say that Sebastian doesn’t deserve my anger you’re gonna be waiting an awfully long time, Kurt.”

Kurt shook his head.  “Bas played his part,” Kurt agreed.  “But I’m not entirely blameless here.  I left my husband.  I took our child and left him without as much as a note.  And while my fear was wholly justified looking back on it, I honestly can’t say anymore whether or not my flight was.”

“You didn’t know what you were getting into,” Burt argued.

“True, but whose fault was that really?”  Kurt questioned.  “I’m not saying that Bas wasn’t content to let me keep my illusions about how all this,” Kurt waved his hand around, “belongs to him or what he does to keep it but, Dad, anytime he tried to bring it up in the beginning I was the one shutting him down, insisting it didn’t matter and I didn’t want to know, that I could take the good with the bad and by the time I realized just how bad the bad was…he was just as determined as I was to keep me from seeing what really went on behind the curtain.  Me not being prepared for this life, that’s on both of us, not just Bas.”

“When you called me to say goodbye you were terrified of him.  I could hear it through the phone,” Burt insisted.

“Still am,” Kurt admitted.  “But I was also immeasurably, irrefutably, irrevocably in love with him and that hasn’t changed either.”

“Damn it, Kurt,” Burt sighed.  “Not gonna lie kid, I had plans of bundling you and my granddaughter up and getting you both the hell out of here.”

Kurt winced as he thought of just how poorly that would have gone.  “I don’t need you to rescue me from Sebastian.”

“You don’t need me to or you don’t _want_ me to,” But asked shrewdly.

“I,” Kurt began and then shrugged.  “I honestly don’t know.  Just a couple of days ago your offer would have seemed like the answer to a prayer but now,” he shrugged helplessly.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that,” Burt snapped.  “I have spent the last three years not knowing if you and that baby were alive or dead, worried about how you were holding up, scared to death that the day would come when you stopped calling and I’d never know what happened to you.”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt apologized.

“So am I,” Burt continued.  “Because son, you didn’t just leave Sebastian.  You left Finn.  You left Carole.  You left Rachel and Mercedes.  You left Blaine and kid he was tore up something fierce but Kurt, damn it, you left _me.”_

“I’m sorry,” Kurt repeated again, the words feeling woefully inadequate for the amount of pain he could hear in his father’s voice.

“I know you had your reasons,” Burt allowed.  “And I meant it when I said I understood and I was on your side but damn it, you’re my boy.  You’re the best thing I ever did and all I have left of your mother and having you walking around out there, alone and afraid, Kurt it was like my heart got ripped out of my chest.  Every time you’d call you sounded so damn lost I just wanted to reach through the phone and pull you to me, keep you safe, bring you _home_ and I couldn’t.  I’d never felt so damn helpless,” Burt admitted.

“I never meant to hurt you,” Kurt explained, leaning into Burt’s side.

“I know,” Burt said, giving Kurt a squeeze.  “But it did hurt, not being with you.  It hurt us all, Kurt and the reason for all that hurt and pain is right down those stairs.  I will do my best to accept that you’ve got some feeling left for that boy,” he held up a hand to stall Kurt’s protests, “but don’t ask me to forgive him.  Not right now.  As much as I love you and would do anything for you, don’t ask me for that, Kurt.”

“I won’t,” Kurt whispered.  “I just, can you try?  If you can’t do it for Bas and you can’t even do it for me can you just…Dad can you try for Olivia?”

“You always did play dirty pool,” Burt grumbled.  “I can’t make you any promises.”

“Then don’t,” Kurt said.  “Just…we have time right,” Kurt echoed Burt’s words from earlier.  “I don’t know how things will work out between Sebastian and me.  All I know is that we all have time to try and find a way to put the past behind us and move forward.”

“Do you want things between you and Sebastian to work out?”

Kurt picked at nonexistent lint on his slacks.  “I don’t know what I want when it comes to Sebastian and me,” Kurt admitted.  “I love him but I don’t trust him.  I spent half of today convinced that his ‘surprise’ for me was going to be some form of retribution.  He’s hurt and angry and I’m not so naïve to believe he’s forgiven me and revenge fantasies have stopped playing out in his head.”

“Then come home,” Burt implored him.  “Right now.  Pack your stuff, get your daughter and come home.”

Kurt shook his head.  “Bas would never allow it,” he admitted.  “And even if he would…I don’t know that I could leave him again.  I don’t know that I want to.  I don’t know anything anymore, except it feels like the right thing to stay now that I’m here.”

“About you suddenly being here, Kurt I want the truth.  Did you want to come back?”  Burt inquired.  “Cause I’m gonna be real honest here, kid.  This reconciliation is mighty suspect.”

Kurt took a deep breath.  “I came home from work one day and Sebastian was in my kitchen making spaghetti and holding Olivia,” Kurt shared.  “I was terrified.  I was convinced he was going to kill me or just take her and I’d never see her again.  But he didn’t.”

“What happened?”

“He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse,” Kurt tried.

“Kurt.”

“Dad,” Kurt sighed.  “I kidnapped Olivia.  _I kidnapped her, Dad_.  I forged documents, I broke the law and Sebastian has me dead to rights if he chooses to force the issue.”

“That bastard blackmailed you?”  Burt thundered.  “I knew this didn’t pass the smell test!  Look son, we’ll get you a lawyer.  I can understand you not wanting to drag Blaine into this so we’ll just call Santana and she can-”

“Dad no,” Kurt broke in, “I don’t want to call Santana.”

“You need a lawyer and a good one that won’t be afraid to go for his balls -”

“You’re not hearing me,” Kurt said.  “Sebastian blackmailed me to get me here but that’s not why I’m staying.”

“Then why are you?” Burt demanded.

“Because I owe it to Sebastian,” Kurt stated quietly.  “And I owe it to me and most importantly to our daughter to see if we can salvage what we had.  And if it ends up that our marriage is well and truly over, we have to find some sort of common ground where Olivia is concerned and that won’t happen with me in Ohio and him in New York and us battling over our daughter like two dogs fighting over a bone.”

“Something tells me you don’t want your marriage to be over,” Burt noted.

“Like I said Dad, I honestly don’t know what I want when it comes to Sebastian and me,” Kurt sighed.  “I just know that I need time to figure it out and it would really help to know I had your support.  I woke up this morning feeling so alone and now…I have my family back.  Can we just, can we just enjoy it?  Can we just be happy that we have each other back and put everything else aside?  At least for tonight?”

“Seems to me you oughtta have had enough of living in denial,” Burt sighed. 

“I’m not,” Kurt insisted.  “Dad, I know exactly what Sebastian’s capable of.  I don’t have any illusions left about him being some misunderstood anti-hero.  He kills people,” Kurt said bluntly.  “He’s the head of a criminal organization and he does whatever is necessary to remove any threats to his freedom and to maintain power-”

“Jesus, do you hear yourself?”

“Or his family,” Kurt continued as if Burt hadn’t interrupted.  “Because that’s the reality, dad.  A large part of what Sebastian does is to keep us all safe.  If he wasn’t willing to cross those lines…dad he’d be dead and Olivia and I would be in danger.  I can’t lie and say I’m entirely comfortable with it or that I’m not still terrified of Olivia growing up surrounded by people who use self-employed as a euphemism for contract killer but I’m not gonna run again dad.  If Sebastian and I don’t work out it’s not going to be because I ran away, not this time.”

“I’m gonna ask you again, do you want your marriage to work out, Kurt?”

“And once again, I don’t know,” Kurt said honestly.  “I don’t know that it can, Dad.  I just...I’m committed to trying.”

“You love him, knowing everything you know, you still love him?”

“The fact that I love Sebastian is the only thing I’m sure of,” Kurt replied.

“Alright, then,” Burt said standing up.  “I’m gonna try real hard to move past all my anger about the last few years but it won’t easy and if he even looks like he’s plotting something I’m telling you now I won’t be responsible for what I do,” Burt warned, “but I’m gonna do my best to step back and respect your decision on this.  I can’t promise it’s gonna be easy and I can’t promise that going home without you won’t be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but okay.  I trust you to do what’s best for you and for that little girl.  If your gut is telling you that you need to stay here and give this…marriage an honest to God try then of course you have my support.  I’ll give you anything you need.”

“Thank you,” Kurt whispered, throwing his arms around his father.  “I missed this,” he laughed.  “Hugging you,” he elaborated at Burt’s quizzical glance.  “You give the best hugs.”

“Glad you approve,” Burt teased.  “I missed hugging you too,” he said, clapping Kurt on the back.  “You have your mother’s heart,” he whispered in Kurt’s ear.  “You follow wherever it leads you-whether that’s back to Sebastian or away from him and I’ll support you.”

Kurt dashed away a stray tear.  “Thanks.”

“And Kurt, I get that Sebastian is a pretty big deal and capable of some pretty terrifying things but you remember who you are.  You may have married a Smythe but you’re a Hummel through and through and-”

“Nobody pushes the Hummel’s around,” Kurt finished with a watery laugh.

“Damn straight they don’t,” Burt agreed.  “Now, put your game face on and let’s get down those stairs,” Burt said herding Kurt towards the door.

* * *

Two hours after Kurt and Burt had descended the stairs Sebastian was sure that he’d made a grave mistake.  To say that dinner had been strained would be putting it mildly.  Kurt had attempted to fill up the silence by demanding to be caught up on what his friends and family had been up to in his absence and telling stories about his life in Portland, with Olivia chiming in here and there with a comment.  Kurt’s good cheer had a minimal effect on the men in his family and Finn had alternated in between staring at Kurt as if he were afraid he’d disappear, charming Olivia and attempting to glare a hole into Sebastian’s head.  Burt hadn’t been much better, going from doting grandfather to antagonistic father in law in the blink of an eye.  Carole, bless her heart, had done her best to compensate for the hostility of her husband and son but kept darting clearly uncomfortable glances towards the doorway where Shane had attempted to be as inconspicuous as his six foot four inch, two hundred plus pound frame allowed him to be.

Blaine, who Sebastian had invited in the hopes of his best friend playing peacemaker at the dinner, after being assured that Kurt was suffering no ill effects from his earlier fainting spell, refused his assigned role and had been quite content to sit back and watch Sebastian squirm as Burt and Finn teamed up to be as passive aggressive as possible.   The diminutive little traitor had made absolutely no attempt to save Sebastian from the wrath of the angry Hudmel men, instead charming Carole into positively cooing in his direction, entertaining Olivia and only stepping in with subtle redirects when Kurt appeared to be in distress.

The only silver lining to the entire evening as far as Sebastian was concerned was that Kurt had been incredibly grateful and openly affectionate with him.  From the moment he’d come down with his father, Kurt had attached himself to Sebastian’s side, more than once squeezing his hand under the table in a gentle reminder for Sebastian to rein his temper in when it threatened to break free in response to one of Burt’s or Finn’s jabs and practically crawling into Sebastian’s lap when everyone had moved into the sitting room to continue talking after dinner.

At the moment it was only Blaine, Kurt, Finn and Sebastian remaining in the room as Carole and Burt had taken Kurt up on his offer to read Olivia her bedtime story. 

Finn stretched out from his spot in the armchair to kick Kurt where he sat next to Sebastian.  “Hudson huh?”  He beamed.

“You’re my brother,” Kurt shrugged.  “I wanted…I needed to keep you with me somehow.”

“Aww, bring it on in little brother,” Finn said, standing and motioning for Kurt to come in for a hug.  Kurt rolled his eyes but wasted no time in rising from his seat and tangling himself in his brother’s arms.

“Missed you,” Finn whispered.

“Missed you more.”

“I think I saw a porno that starts off just like this with two reuniting step brothers,” Blaine joked.

“Oh come on man,” Finn groaned.  “So not cool.  I can’t believe mom still thinks you’re this perfect little angel,” he complained to Blaine as he let Kurt go.

“So does dad,” Kurt added as he settled back in next to Sebastian.

“He fools everybody,” Sebastian revealed.  “There’s no telling my mother that Blaine isn’t the perfect gentleman.”

“That’s because I am,” Blaine said smugly.  “What can I say?  Dapper is my default setting.”

Blaine laughed as he was hit with pillows from all three boys.

“Okay I get the Hudson,” Finn remarked.  “But I have to know.  Sylvester?  You named yourself after _Sue Sylvester_?”

“It made sense at the time,” Kurt laughed.  “I needed to be fearless and well, whatever else she may be, Coach Sue is the most fearless person I’ve ever met.”

“I think the word you were looking for there is certifiable,” Blaine corrected.  “I will never forget when she knocked out Carla Turnington-Stevens at Regional’s.  I think that was the moment I realized that she was legitimately insane.”

“She hit that lady so hard her shoes flew off,” Finn cackled.

“Finn,” Kurt said biting back a giggle.  “That was not a good thing.”

“It was like, the ultimate falcon punch,” Finn continued.

“It really was, wasn’t it,” Blaine agreed.

“You two are terrible,” Kurt said snuggling into Sebastian.

Blaine and Finn tried to smother their giggles and Sebastian leaned back into the feeling of Kurt dragging his fingers through his hair.  “Did you enjoy your surprise?”

“Mmm hmmm,” Kurt intoned, tugging a little harder on Sebastian’s locks.  “When everyone goes home I’ll show you just how much.”

Sebastian smirked and hummed his approval as Burt and Carole descended the stairs.

* * *

An hour later found Kurt and Sebastian waving goodbye to Burt, Carole and Finn as Jeff prepared to drive the trio to their hotel.

“Alone at last,” Sebastian murmured, leaning back against the door and pulling Kurt into his arms and nipping gently on his throat.

“So, what’s next?”  Blaine said cheerfully from the sofa.  “Reality T.V. Train Wrecks is on.  You guys wanna-”

“Blaine,” Sebastian said bringing his hand around Kurt’s body and yanking the brunette’s purple button down out of his pants, “My husband and I are going to have sex two, possibly three times, before passing out, sleeping as late as Olivia will let us and then getting up and having Cook make pancakes for breakfast.”

Blaine leaned back on the sofa, folded his hands behind his head and shot Sebastian a shit eating grin.  “What about some ESPN?  I know Highlight Express is your favorite.”

“We live in the Penthouse,” Sebastian replied as he popped the top two buttons on Kurt’s shirt.  “And I will toss your midget ass over the balcony if you keep trying to cock block me.”

“Rude,” Blaine said as he rose from the sofa.  “First, I’m a respectable five foot eight and we’ve discussed the height jokes.  Secondly, you could at least invite me to watch.”

“Blaine, if you stay you’re blowing both of us-twice.  And you’re making the pancakes,” Sebastian stated, pulling Kurt closer to him and nipping at him.

“You do make good pancakes,” Kurt moaned, tipping his head back to give Sebastian easier access to his neck.

“Gives better blowjobs,” Sebastian mumbled.

“It’s cause he doesn’t have a gag reflex,” Kurt gasped, grinding back against Sebastian.

“Yeah well you two just have to live off of the memories,” Blaine laughed as he gathered his things.  “I’m taking all five foot eight of my awesome blowjob giving, incredible pancake making, no gag reflex having, parental unit charming self home.”

“Drive safe,” Kurt said absently, turning in the circle of Sebastian’s arms and tugging on Sebastian’s shirt.

“I hate you both,” Blaine trilled as he put on his coat.

“Love you too, Blainers,” Sebastian snarked.

“God, if you’re listening please let the traffic be light and Sebastian come early,” Blaine teased, pulling the door closed behind him.

Kurt and Sebastian made it up the stairs a tangle of hungry limbs and greedy hands, grasping, groping and pulling at one another’s clothing.  They toed off their shoes and as Sebastian drew Kurt back to him, Kurt halted him.

“Bas,” Kurt murmured.  “I don’t want to rush.”

Sebastian nodded.  He wanted to push Kurt back onto the bed and just _take_ him, but he decided to let Kurt set the pace.  Kurt reached up and caressed the side of Sebastian’s face.  “Thank you for tonight,” he breathed, pressing a kiss onto Sebastian’s lips.  “You’ll never know what it means to me that you brought them here,” he said kissing Sebastian again.

The kiss was soft and slow at first, gradually building in heat and intensity until Kurt began to move to lie back on the bed and Sebastian followed until he was stretched out on top of him.

Kurt's hands roamed up Sebastian’s arms and then across his chest.  Kurt undid the buttons on the shirt slowly and then parted the two halves of the material to slide the crisp, white button off of Sebastian's shoulders.  He placed butterfly kisses along Sebastian's collarbone, stopping every now and again suck and lick at the hollow of his throat.

Sebastian echoed Kurt's movements, divesting the brunette of his shirt and mouthing at the expanse of exposed flesh.  He threaded his hands through Kurt's hair and kissed him deeply, letting his tongue explore the hot sweetness of Kurt's mouth.  He pulled away and traced his fingers over Kurt's face, drinking in the want and need in his lover's eyes. "I wanted you to be happy tonight," Sebastian whispered.  Before Kurt could answer him, Sebastian claimed his mouth again and Kurt's breath hitched and he moaned into the kiss.

Kurt's eyes flitted closed and he let out a long, slow breath. "I was," he said reaching up and twining his fingers through Sebastian's, "And it means more to me than you know."

Sebastian closed his eyes and breathed Kurt in. He buried his face in Kurt's hair and kissed his temple, trailing tiny kisses down the side of Kurt's face.  Sebastian nuzzled Kurt’s nose and looked into his eyes. "When it’s just us and we’re like this…I feel like you…you and our daughter are the only things that make the world make sense to me,” he confessed quietly.  “When you left…when you took her, you took the best of me with you."

Kurt shook his head slightly and smiled.  "While I was gone I realized I left the best of me with _you_.  I missed you so much.  Needed you so much." Kurt whispered.  He kissed Sebastian again, slow, languid but needy.

Sebastian's hands slid down Kurt's side and his fingers traced patterns on Kurt's stomach. "Tell me what you need,” he murmured. 

Kurt's hands tightened on Sebastian's hips.  "You, I just need you, Bas."

"You have me," Sebastian declared quietly, but fiercely.  He sealed their mouths together and let his hands travel the familiar road of sinewy muscle and smooth skin of Kurt's chest, lightly teasing a nipple, ghosting over his ribs, mapping the dip of his throat.

Kurt arched under him, skin scorched by the feather light touch, wordlessly seeking more contact.  "Please, Bas,” he whined, placing his hand over one of Sebastian's and guiding it to his belt.  When Sebastian's fingers hesitated on the buckle, Kurt responded by moving his hands to Sebastian's belt and deftly undoing it and the top button of his slacks.  He unzipped his lover and guided the smooth fabric of his trousers down his hips, taking his boxers along with them.  Sebastian kicked out of his pants and then followed Kurt's lead, undoing Kurt's belt and divesting him of his pants and boxers, lips following the material, kissing every inch of exposed skin as he stripped his husband of his clothes.

Kurt pushed himself against Sebastian, savoring the drag of skin on skin, scraping his teeth over Sebastian's shoulder and shifting so Sebastian's weight could rest comfortably in the cradle of his body.  "Please…Bas, I need you."  He kissed Sebastian again, hard, almost bruising, desperate in his intensity and need.

Sebastian reluctantly pulled away from Kurt, leaning over to rummage blindly in the nightstand until he found the lube.  He slicked his hand and massaged Kurt's entrance with one hand, while he took his tongue and lapped at his nipples, biting and then soothing the ache until they were firm, hardened peaks and Kurt was moaning and writhing beneath him.  He then pressed his finger inside Kurt, preparing him as gently as he had the very first time they'd made love.

"More, c’mon Bas, more,” Kurt begged.  His body was on fire and he wanted to  _feel_ Sebastian.  He pushed back against Sebastian's finger encouraging him, giving him permission to go harder, further, give him more.

Sebastian groaned and pushed his finger in deeper, sliding it in and out a few times before adding a second, and then a third.  Kurt let out a strangled, needy sound and arched, the fingers of one hand fisting the sheets, the other finding and yanking on the short tufts of Sebastian's hair.

Sebastian moved down and took Kurt's cock into his mouth.  He swallowed his lover, lips sliding along the shaft, tongue curling underneath and wrapping around the head.  He hollowed his cheeks and began to suck.

Mngh… _Sebastian,"_ Kurt gasped tightening his hold.  Desire burned through his veins, leaving him highly sensitized and in a lust filled haze.  "Bas, Bas, c’mon, please, c’mon just fuck me."

Sebastian redoubled his efforts, humming around Kurt's erection and scissored his fingers, stretching Kurt fully, distracting him from the discomfort by taking more and more of Kurt's length down his throat.

Kurt bucked his hips, seeking more of the tight, wet, heat of Sebastian’s mouth.  "Fuck, Bas.  Please, please, please, _"_ he chanted.

"Whatever you want," Sebastian said as he pulled off of Kurt with a filthy pop and leaned in for a passionate kiss.  “You ready for me?  Can I have you now baby?”

"God yes,” Kurt’s whisper was thick with need, drowning in emotion, and barely audible.  Sebastian positioned himself at Kurt’s entrance and pressed inside.  Kurt moaned, and nearly sobbed as he succumbed to the familiar feeling of Sebastian inside him, taking him, claiming him, and even though they’d both carefully avoiding saying the words, loving him.

Sebastian moved slowly, burying himself inside Kurt an inch at a time, giving Kurt time to adjust to the burn and driving him crazy with need.  When he was fully seated he stilled, panting harshly and leaning his forehead on Kurt’s.

“Move,” Kurt whispered.  “C’mon, c’mon, please, just oh God yes,” Kurt chanted as Sebastian began to thrust slowly, his lips running along Kurt's neck, one hand lodging itself in Kurt’s hair, the hitching Kurt’s leg high up over his hip.

Kurt's hands slid up Sebastian's back, gripping his shoulders, rocking his hips up to meet Sebastian's thrusts. "You feel so good,” he moaned.  Kurt’s nails raked a trail of file down Sebastian's back and he sank his teeth into the swell of flesh of Sebastian’s shoulder.

Sebastian growled, low and fierce, the twin sensations of the pain in his back and the pleasure wrapped around his cock threatening to tip him over the edge.  "So do you, baby.  So tight, so perfect," he grunted.  "You’ve always been perfect," he assured Kurt as he slid in and out of his lithe body, kissing him hungrily, tongue moving in and out, mimicking their love making.  He broke their kiss and sank his teeth into the pale flesh of Kurt's neck, biting, sucking and licking.  He worked hard, leaving a mark, prominent and proud, vibrant red and pulsing; high up where no shirt would cover it and the world would see and know that Kurt was his.

Kurt's hands wandered down to pull at Sebastian's hips, dragging him in deeper, urging him to thrust harder.  He dug his heel into Sebastian’s ass and clenched down around him, squeezing Sebastian’s cock.  Sebastian swore and changed the angle of his thrusts, making sure to hit Kurt’s prostate.  When Kurt began to tremble beneath him he increased his pace and began stroking Kurt in time with his thrusts.  

“That’s it baby, that’s it right there, come on, come for me, let me see it, come on,” Sebastian urged Kurt as he continued to pound into him and jack away of his cock.  Kurt cried out, his face flush with pleasure, eyes half closed, as he found his release hot and sticky, coming in bursts and spurts between them. The sight of Kurt’s pleasure was Sebastian’s breaking point.  His hips sped up, his thrusts becoming harder, deeper and more forceful until he couldn't hold back any longer and he came hot and hard, a low growl in his throat and Kurt's name tumbling from his lips.

Their world reduced to harsh pants and shaky exhales of breath as they struggled to get themselves back under control.  Sebastian slid off of Kurt and onto his back, gathering Kurt close to him and wrapping his arms around him. "You are fucking amazing," he whispered, dropping small kisses into his hair and along the side of his face before leaning back into the pillows and closing his eyes.

“You weren’t too bad yourself,” Kurt mumbled, throwing a leg over Sebastian.  “Hey you,” he said poking Sebastian in the side.

“You cannot be ready to go again,” Sebastian groaned.  “Give me like, five minutes and I’ll rock your world.”

Kurt rolled his eyes.  “As charming as that offer was, round two is going to have to be in the shower.”

“Give me one good reason to move,” Sebastian challenged him, cracking an eye open.

“I’ll give you three,” Kurt grinned.  “One, if we go to sleep like this we’re going to wake up plastered to the sheets.”

“A chance I’m willing to take.”

“Two,” Kurt soldiered on, “we need to change the sheets because I’m not sleeping in the wet spot.”

“I’ll take one for the team.”

“And three,” Kurt continued, ignoring Sebastian.  “Our daughter has no concept of personal boundaries and will bounce into this bed with the both of us the second she wakes up.”

Sebastian groaned.  “This responsible parenting bullshit is ruining my afterglow,” Sebastian complained.

“Oh poor baby,” Kurt mocked.  “Tell you what, after we change the sheets I’ll join you in the shower and prove that I give better blowjobs than Blaine.”

“You just made me an offer I can’t refuse,” Sebastian grinned, dragging his body up from the mattress and changing their sheets in record time.

“Who knew you turned into a domestic god when properly motivated,” Kurt teased.

“I’ve got hidden depths babe,” Sebastian quipped.  “And you’ve got a promise to make good on,” he said pulling a giggling Kurt towards the en suite.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's nightmares are memories that explain exactly why it's so hard for him to forgive and forget and he makes a move that no one-least of all Kurt-saw coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _  
> _ **~A/N: I'm sorry for the long delay.  I'm trying really hard to complete this fill but a combination of my health, real life, and just trouble getting the words to come out on paper the way I want have all conspired against me.  This is more of a "good faith" fill than anything, just something to show that I am still working on the story and committed to seeing it through to the end and to show how very much I appreciate all the encouragement and support and kind words that you guys have been sending me on my Tumblr.  I really am working as hard as I can, as often as circumstances will allow, to get a quality story out to you guys.**
> 
>   
> **In addition to listed warnings of rough sex, dirty talk, and possessiveness, there will be emotional abuse, infidelity, dub-con, (coercion/blackmail) descriptions of torture, mild d/s overtones, sexist language and minor canon and OC character deaths as well.**
> 
> **~This section contains a dramatized version of a mental breakdown and unstable, unsafe behavior.  If you are sensitive to mental health issues you might want to proceed with caution.  Please note a vast amount of dramatic license was taken and I am in no way trying to be insensitive or imply that this is representative of how real mental health issues manifest.~**

_Sebastian sat at his desk surrounded by photographs of his life with Kurt and idly traced his finger across the glossy pictures. The light caught on his wedding ring, illuminating the platinum band as if it were mocking him._

_Sebastian stared at it for a moment before twisting it around on his finger, sliding it halfway off and then changing his mind and pushing it back down. He rose from his seat and made his way over the bar, poured himself a drink, then another and still another before picking the crystal decanter and smashing it against the bar. He stared at the broken shards, laughing a little as he remembered it was a gift from Kurt before his face contorted and he took his hand and swept it through the remaining barware, knocking glasses and bottles to the ground, leaving a trail of jagged, bloodstained destruction strewn across the top of the bar and across the floor._

_Mindless of his bleeding hand or the bits of glass digging into his forearms and elbows Sebastian leaned across the bar top and held his head in his hands, trying to will away the memories of his husband's laugh and his daughter's smell, Kurt's touch and Nicolette's eyes. His cell phone rang and he dug it out of his pocket and threw it against the wall. He followed that up with vase and then a sculpture that Kurt had found the first (and last) weekend he'd dragged Sebastian around the city to go antiquing._

_The memory burned and Sebastian stalked over to the fireplace in the corner and began throwing the pictures along the mantle against the door. Photographs of his mother and father, Burt and Carole, Kurt and Blaine, his daughter, his days at Dalton and his graduation from NYU all ended up in a twisted, broken heap on the far side of room. It didn't help, the memories didn't stop, the pain didn't leave and as the wave of hopelessness and helplessness washed over him the sound that tore its way out of Sebastian's throat resembled that of a wounded animal. He strode about the room, flipping over his desk, turning over the bookcase and beating his office chair into the ground until it broke into pieces and still the memories wouldn't stop. Sebastian walked over to the pile of pictures and reached in, ignoring the stinging cuts to his hand and plucked out one of the few professional family photos they had gotten an opportunity to have done. He sank to the ground, kneeling in the destruction and cradled the picture to his chest._

_A soft knock and the opening of the front door pulled his gaze away from Kurt's smiling face._

" _Boss?" Jeff asked hesitantly, making his way into the way, eyes widening as he took in the damage._

" _Holy…," the blonde breathed, eyes darting around before landing on Sebastian and cautiously making his way towards him. "So what happened in here, Sebastian?"_

" _What happened?" Sebastian repeated blankly._

" _Yeah," Jeff said, picking his way through the glass to step closer to Sebastian. "What happened?"_

" _What happened," Sebastian laughed darkly as he pushed himself to his feet, "Is that everyone who works for me is fucking useless. You're all so useless that my husband and my child are j-just gone, just like that," he said with a wet snap of his blood slick fingers._

" _We'll find them man and then-," Jeff said, stepping forward and reaching towards Sebastian._

_Quick as a flash Sebastian grabbed Jeff's wrist and twisted. The resulting snap and Jeff's pain filled cry split the air and Sebastian threw his guard away from him._

" _Get. Out," Sebastian snarled._

_Jeff clasped his injured wrist to his body and fled. Once he was outside of the room, Rory stared at him in shock as Nick rushed over to his side. He waved the brunette off. "I'm fine," he grit out through clenched teeth, "But Sebastian isn't. Call Blaine."_

_Rory shook his head. "You're as crazy as he is," Rory said indicating the room where the sounds of things breaking and Sebastian's screams had resumed. "What makes you think Blaine will fare any better than you did?"_

" _Because it's Blaine," Jeff answered. "Now go grab Shane, put him on the door. Then you go and track down Blaine and get him here. That's your only assignment right now. Find Blaine and get him here. You understand?"_

_Rory shook his head and turned to leave but Jeff grabbed hold of him with his good hand. "Nobody finds out about this, you understand me?" He ordered, tightening his hold for emphasis. "Nobody knows what went on here tonight but us and that's the way it stays, you got me?"_

_Rory nodded taking off down the hallway._

* * *

_Blaine entered the room slowly, surveying the damage and trying not to panic at the sight of Sebastian sitting with his back against the wall with his gun on his lap._

_He made his way across the room, navigating around piles of books and broken bits of furniture as glass crunched under his feet._

" _I like what you've done with the place," he said dryly, coming to a stop a few feet in front of Sebastian._

_Sebastian didn't even look up._

" _Seb," Blaine tried. "Hey man, Seb. It's three in the morning and I was in my bed-not alone mind you-and I get an SOS from your boys telling me to get down here. So c'mon, the least you can do is talk to me."_

_Sebastian closed his eyes and leaned his head back across the wall. Blaine swallowed, closed the gap between them, gingerly cleared a space next to his friend and sat down._

_Blaine tentatively reached across Sebastian's body and placed his hand on his gun. Sebastian's hand instantly came down on top of his. "Seb," Blaine said gently, "You're sitting here with the safety off. I don't want you to have an accident here so I'm gonna take this from you, okay?" Blaine took a firm grip on Sebastian's gun and slowly slid his hand free. He quickly unloaded the gun and placed it out of reach._

" _Okay," Blaine breathed. "So what do you say we get up from here and-"_

" _Go home Blaine."_

" _Not gonna happen."_

" _Go home," Sebastian barked, rocketing to his feet and striding to the door. He flung it open and blinked in confusion when confronted with an empty hallway. "Where's Jeff?"_

" _Getting his wrist-which you broke by the way-taken care of," Blaine replied._

" _Where's, Where's Nick? Where's Shane? Thad? Where is the hell is everybody?"_

" _I sent them away."_

" _You sent them away," Sebastian growled, advancing on Blaine. "Who gave you the right? Hmm? Since when do you give my men orders and who the hell told them to take orders from you in the first place?"_

" _They know anything I tell them is in your best interest."_

" _Who are you to decide what's in my-don't uh no, you don't tell me what's in my best interest. Go home, Blaine. Get out!"_

" _I came here," Blaine said evenly, rising to his feet. "Because I thought you needed-"_

" _You thought?" Sebastian cut him off viciously. "You thought wrong. Get out! Go home! I don't want you here and I don't need you here. I don't need anybody."_

" _I'm not going anywhere Seb," Blaine said calmly. "Now you wanna tear up this room some more? Fine, there are a couple of mirrors and a potted plant you missed right over there. You go to town, but I'm not leaving you."_

" _Do you know what I could do to you?" Sebastian asked, coming over to loom over the smaller man. "Do you know how broken I…Blaine, you have no…do you know what I could do to you?" Sebastian demanded._

_Blaine pushed down the tiny spark of fear and shrugged, minutely shaking his head. "Nothing," he said looking Sebastian in the eyes. "You won't hurt me. You know why? Because you love me, and I know that you love me and even if you didn't, Kurt does. And I know that you can't hurt anyone or anything important to him."_

" _Don't," Sebastian said, reaching out and placing a gentle finger over Blaine's lips. "Don't say his name. Don't…Kurt's not here. He's gone," Sebastian choked on the word, and the sheen of unshed tears sparkled in his eyes. "He's gone, and there's nothing. Nothing. So don't."_

_Blaine wrapped his hand around Sebastian's wrist and dragged his hand down until it was pressed over his heart. "You're not alone, Seb. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."_

_Sebastian laughed bitterly. "He should have married you," he nodded. "You wouldn't have been a lie. See, everything with him, everything we had was a lie. Like this room. It was beautiful right?" At Blaine's nod Sebastian continued. "Kurt decorated it so of course it was beautiful but you see…it was a lie. A beautiful home office for his husband the self employed business man-"_

" _Seb-"_

" _So it looks better this way," Sebastian continued, swinging a hand around to encompass the room. "This way when you step inside you see the truth. Here is the inner sanctum of Sebastian Smythe; the man who destroys everything he touches."_

" _Seb, please stop. What are you doing to yourself? You don't need to do this," Blaine implored, cupping Sebastian's face in his hands._

" _Don't tell me what I need," Sebastian whispered, resting his forehead on Blaine's. "I need Kurt and he's not here."_

" _I need him too," Blaine admitted. "But until he gets back we have to take care of each other. So," he said taking a step back. "When was the last time you ate anything? Or got a decent night's sleep?"_

" _Sleep is highly overrated. I go to sleep, dream about Kurt, dream about my daughter and then I wake up and they're not here. Fuck sleep, it's just another lie," Sebastian answered tiredly._

" _We can call Weston," Blaine said. "He can give you something to help you sleep keep the bad dreams away-"_

" _Is that how you do it? Call Weston, take a pill, drift off and forget about all the lies we tell and the lives we've taken and the lives we've ruined and the people we've cut off at the knees and the innocent," he cut himself off and twisted his wedding ring, "the innocent people we drag down the road to perdition with us?"_

" _I make mistakes and I regret them and I live with them, Seb. Just like my father, just like yours, just like you."_

" _But not like Kurt," Sebastian said, a tear slipping over the brim of his lashes._

" _I think Kurt's made his fair share of mistakes," Blaine said, for the first time showing a bit of temper before regaining his composure. "But you know as well as I do, that in this life you fix what you can and let go of the rest or it will eat you alive."_

" _Oh," Sebastian nodded. "More words of wisdom from gay Yoda. Tell me another one."_

" _I didn't do this to you," Blaine said._

" _Yeah, no see you kinda did," Sebastian said. "You're the one who brought Kurt into our lives. But you didn't make me want him and you didn't make me love him, but you did tell me it would be okay."_

" _Seb-"_

" _But you're right. I can't…I can't be mad at you," Sebastian continued. "At least when you were done with him Kurt was still breathing. Can't say the same for me."_

" _What are you talking about?"_

" _What do you think is gonna happen if I can't find him first? If Cameron George or the Rivera's or the Mariucci's find out that he and Nicollette are out there, alone, unprotected? I'm gonna get them back alright, a torso here, a femur there, here a piece, there a piece, everywhere a fucking piece."_

_Blaine closed his eyes, trying to unsee the horrible picture Sebastian had painted. "We'll find them first."_

" _Don't lie to me," Sebastian warned Blaine. "You don't know that. You know what else I see when I go to sleep? I see him die. Just like my dad and my cousin Alex. Just like my grandmother. Just like that kid Joey Benson, you remember the valet who started my car that one time when the Chernikova's had that hit out on me? I see Kurt die over and over and it's all my fault."_

" _Stop it," Blaine demanded harshly. "Yeah, fine, they deserved better. Is that what you need to hear? That they deserved better? They did, but who doesn't? You think Kurt doesn't feel the same way about his mother?"_

" _Kurt's mother didn't die in a hail of bullets."_

" _It's not your fault," Blaine insisted. "I don't care how much power you have Seb, you don't control life and death for everyone. Your dad didn't die because you did something wrong. That boy didn't die by your hand and Alex's' death wasn't to punish you. I don't care what's going on in your head or what you see when you dream; it's not your fault."_

" _I'm not like you and Kurt," Sebastian informed Blaine. "I don't live in the land of fantasy. You two, you can't stomach the reality of this life. You can't live with what is so you make up fairy tales in your head about how no one gets hurt who doesn't deserve it and how you do the best you can with the hand you've been dealt but don't you stand here and tell me what I've done or haven't done because I know. I know Blaine. I know that I'm being punished for it and I know that I deserve it."_

_Blaine shook his head. He took a look around the wrecked room before righting an upturned chair and guiding Sebastian to it. "Sit," he commanded softly._

_Sebastian dropped into the chair and Blaine knelt down in front of him. He gently took Sebastian's injured hand in his. "Let me see it," he said softly, turning Sebastian's palm over and inspecting the damage._

" _Doesn't hurt," Sebastian mumbled._

" _But you can see that it's bleeding right?"_

" _It's not mine," Sebastian muttered. "It's theirs. Kurt's. Nikki's. My dad's. It's theirs."_

" _Sebastian," Blaine said, forcing his friend to meet his gaze. "You broke…a lot of glass. You cut your hand. Let me take care of it," Blaine said, taking a handkerchief from his jacket._

" _You'll never get it all off with that," Sebastian said, his voice devoid of emotion. "All the blood on my hands. Can't come off. He's gone and this is all he left me. His blood on my hands."_

" _It's not Kurt's blood," Blaine said gently. "You hurt your hand. You broke a lot of glass and you cut yourself," he reminded Sebastian as he wiped the blood from his hand._

" _You can't get it off," Sebastian whispered. "I killed them and you can't get it off."_

" _Kurt's not dead." But he'll wish he was when I get my hands on him, Blaine thought crossly. "I think you need stitches. Let me call Weston. You go upstairs, lie down, I think that'll be good for you. I think you need a break, Seb."_

" _We were happy, weren't we?" Sebastian asked with a faint smile, reverently trailing his fingers along Blaine's face._

" _Yeah we were," Blaine agreed, pressing a soft kiss into Sebastian's palm. "And then you were. He was happy, Seb. I swear to you he was happy."_

" _What did Kurt tell you?"_

" _About what?"_

" _About us. I know he tells you everything, even stuff he won't tell me."_

" _He said that you set his heart on fire," Blaine smiled. "That loving you is like tasting colors and feeling sound. He said that you live inside his bones and take up the space inside his soul. He loves you Seb, he loves you more than you know."_

" _Really?" Sebastian asked in a small voice._

" _Really," Blaine promised._

" _What else," Sebastian asked, fighting back tears._

" _He told me about the time you two went up on the roof and danced after you proposed."_

" _He did?"_

" _Yeah," Blaine smiled. "He said it was the most romantic night of his life. You sang Sinatra in his ear as you two waltzed up on the rooftop."_

" _He remembered that?"_

" _He never forgot it, Seb."_

" _He told me he'd never loved anyone the way he loved you."_

" _You should have kept him," Sebastian said, kissing Blaine's forehead. "He'd still be here. He never ran away from you."_

" _Aren't you the one always saying he dumped me?" Blaine tried to joke._

" _You shouldn't have let him," Sebastian declared. "You're what he wanted, what he always wanted. That's why he never let you go."_

" _Neither did you," Blaine pointed out. "What Kurt and I were and are has nothing to do with you two. What you have with him is something that we never came close to. You two belong together, Seb."_

" _It should have been you," Sebastian repeated. "You wouldn't treat a dog the way I treated Kurt."_

" _You treasure him."_

" _I made him lie, he forgave me. I made him fight with his father, he forgave me. I made him a target for the cops and the tabloids, he forgave me. He married me, said he wanted to raise my child and he forgave me my lies, betrayal, selfishness, things that he knew, we both knew, I'd never forgive him for. But he did. Kurt always found a way and he meant it. He put it all to the side and gave me everything. This perfect man who adored me and gave me my daughter-my child-he was mine and he was everything I ever wanted and he was mine and now it's all gone. They're gone and it doesn't matter how hard you try Blaine, you can't get their blood off my hands."_

" _Listen to me," Blaine begged, pulling Sebastian close. "Kurt is not dead. Nicollette is not dead. He's…gone but he's not dead. And if something happens to them before we can bring them home, it is not your fault."_

" _Then why is there so much blood on my hands?"_

_Blaine closed his eyes. "Because you cut yourself," he explained again. "Let me clean you up-"_

" _You can't," Sebastian said._

" _Let me try," Blaine begged._

" _It's okay," Sebastian insisted. "You can go ahead and go. I just…I just need some rest. I'm fine."_

" _Then I'll get you upstairs, get you settled and call Weston," Blaine said, gently helping Sebastian up and ushering him out of the room._

" _No pills," Sebastian said softly as Blaine guided him up the stairs, giving Nick orders to call Dr. Weston as they passed._

" _We'll see," Blaine murmured as they reached the second floor and Blaine began to walk towards the master bedroom before Sebastian stopped him. "Can't sleep in there. Kurt…his…I can't sleep in there."_

" _Okay," Blaine soothed, changing paths and heading towards the guest room._

" _Nope," Sebastian laughed, a little manically. "Nursery."_

_Blaine raised his eyebrows but said nothing as he walked Sebastian to the nursery. He pushed the door open and was confronted with a mattress on the floor, small piles of Nicollette's clothing and stuffed animals, as well as a few of Kurt's shirts littering the makeshift bed._

_Sebastian pitched himself forward and collapsed onto the mattress. "You can go now."_

_Blaine toed off his shoes and curled up next to Sebastian. "I can't lie and say that I know what you're going through, but you need to understand that I'm not going anywhere. I love you man, and I'm not gonna leave you alone, not while you need me, okay?"_

" _What do you want from me?" Sebastian whispered brokenly._

" _Nothing," Blaine answered fiercely. "Nothing. Just let me help you," Blaine said, wrapping his arms around Sebastian._

" _I'm going to ruin you too," Sebastian mumbled, as he began to relax and slip into unconsciousness._

" _No you won't," Blaine whispered, running his fingers through Sebastian's hair._

" _I want him back," Sebastian slurred as sleep started to overtake him._

" _Me too," Blaine whispered. "We'll get him home and then everything will be fine. I promise Seb, we'll find him and bring them both back home."_

" _Just want my family," Sebastian mumbled as he surrendered to sleep._

Sebastian jerked awake, his heartbeat erratic and pounding in his ears, a cold sweat trickling down his back and dotting his brow. Sebastian gently untangled his limbs from Kurt's and eased out of bed, pulling on his robe and exiting the room.

He headed down the hall to Olivia's room and quietly opened the door. Sebastian leaned against the door frame for a few moments taking in his daughter's sleeping form. He silently crept over to his little girl and reached a slightly shaking hand out, allowing his fingers to gently stroke her hair before pressing a barely there kiss to her brow, letting the smell of baby powder and Ivory soap, the sound of her breathing and the sight of her clinging to the stuffed horse he'd brought for her on their shopping spree dislodge the heavy rock of panic from the middle of his chest.

After a few moments he let himself back out into the hall and made his way to his office. He fingered the glass on his wedding photo before picking up the phone and punching in a number.

"It's three in the morning Sebastian, somebody better be dead or in jail," a sleepy, annoyed voice snapped on the other end of the line in lieu of a proper hello.

"For what I pay you Clarington, I can call at three in the morning because I want to hear you sing _The Hokey Pokey_ and you better damn well do it and do it in perfect pitch," Sebastian growled.

"If you're calling me because you want to hear my take on the classics how about I give you a line by line reading of my personal favorite children's story _Go the Fuck to Sleep,_ " Hunter fired back.

"Clarington, I swear to Christ-"

"Dial down the apocalyptic rage Sebastian and just tell me what you need me to work my magic on," Hunter interrupted.

Sebastian turned his wedding photo face down on the desk and started talking.

* * *

Kurt woke up to fully dressed Olivia shaking his shoulder and long cooled sheets on Sebastian's side of the bed.

"I want pancakes," Olivia announced.

"I want sleep," Kurt grumbled, turning over into his pillow and huddling down into the comforter.

Olivia poked him in the back. "I'm hungry," she whined.

Kurt sighed and turned back over. "Are you really hungry or do you just want daddy to get up and play?" Kurt asked shrewdly.

Olivia's eyes shifted all around the room, a tell tale sign that she was about to lie, before she gave Kurt her best woebegone expression and hugged her stuffed horse to her chest. "I'm super hungry," she announced peeking at Kurt from beneath her lashes and letting her lower lip tremble just a bit. "Please Daddy?"

"You are a faking faker who fakes," Kurt groused as he kicked the covers off and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Don't think I fell for that little performance of yours for a second miss missy. I own the patent on the _'Please Daddy lower lip tremble_."

"He also invented the _don't you want to see me happy single tear drop_ ," Sebastian put in from the doorway. "As well as my personal favorite the _can't you understand how important this is to me anime eyes with unshed tears_ ," he added coming forward to sweep Olivia into his arms and tickle her. "You are definitely your father's daughter."

Kurt stuck his tongue out at Sebastian and made his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth. "How about you take Meryl Streep over there down to the kitchen and give me a few minutes to get dressed and then the both of you can help me make pancakes? We have the whole morning to kill before we meet Finn, Dad and Carole this afternoon."

Sebastian nodded. "Sounds like a plan. Don't be too long," he added as he and Olivia departed.

"Can't rush perfection," Kurt called out after him.

"You'll find a way if you don't want Livvie and I starting the pancake batter without you!"

"Sebastian Smythe you are forbidden to open, mix, pour, scoop, or even look longingly at any food or food products," Kurt yelled. "In fact you are hereby forbidden to even touch a pot or pan because if you scorch that lovely copper cookware I will not be responsible for what I do to you!"

The only response to his threat was Sebastian's laughter so Kurt set about the business of rushing through his morning routine. He quickly brushed his teeth and washed his face, pulled an outfit from his closet and dressed in record time. At the last minute he decided to change the brooch on his vest. As he dug through his accessories he came across a red apple pin with the worlds "World's Best Teacher" scrawled across it.

The sight of the pin was a like a punch in the gut and Kurt was assaulted by memories of the life that Sebastian had forced him to leave behind. Even though Sylvester Hudson had alias, Kurt had lived in Sylvester's skin for the past three years. Sylvester Hudson had friends, co-workers and a classroom full of students that depended on him that were no doubt feeling confused and abandoned by his sudden absence. Guilt flared up and before he could think better of it or talk himself out of it he grabbed his cell phone and dialed.

"Grace Wick Elementary," a jolly voice chirped. "How may I direct your call?"

"Callie," Kurt breathed, smiling a bit as he pictured the cheerful secretary. "It's Ku-uh, Sylvester. I know I left you guys in a bit of a lurch-"

"I, uh, I um, I-I I'm sorry s-sir but I think you have the wrong number," Callie stuttered, cutting him off.

Kurt frowned. "No," he said slowly. "It's Sylvester. Sylvester Hudson. I teach or well, taught music there for the past two and half years. I just-"

"I've been working here for ten years and there is not nor has there ever been a Sylvester Hudson in the music department," Callie's voice shook slightly as she made the pronouncement. "Now, if there's nothing else-"

"Callie it's me. You…we went to the faculty Christmas party together last year. We spent the evening making fun of Gilliam's toupee and trying not to get drunk on Peach Schnapps," Kurt said, desperation giving his voice a bit of a manic edge. "You can't tell me you don't remember. What's going on?"

"I assure you that I don't know what you're talking about." There was a silence for a beat and then Callie's voice came back over the line. "I'm sorry that I can't help you, sir," she said softly before disconnecting.

Kurt listened to the dial tone in his ear with a sense of foreboding. He quickly made another call.

"Crescent Hill Apartments, Lily speaking. How can I help you?"

"Lily," Kurt said, gripping the phone. "This is Sylvester Hudson in 4C and-"

"I'm s-sorry sir but we don't have anyone in 4C."

Kurt clenched his eyes closed. "I'm not there at the moment but-"

"You must have the wrong complex. 4C is empty and has been for some time now."

"I've lived there for the past-"

"My apologies sir but as I've said 4C is empty and has been for quite awhile. If you'd like to schedule a tour-"

Kurt hung up and with shaking hands dialed his old cell phone number. Sebastian had forced him to leave the phone behind when they left and with all the drama and upheaval that had surrounded him resettling in New York he hadn't had a chance to attempt to check his messages.

"We're sorry. You have reached a number that is disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again."

Kurt disconnected and then made calls to his old bank speaking to a teller who coolly informed him that no such account existed and then following up with credit card companies who failed to locate any accounts associated with the name and social security number that he gave them.

Kurt realized that Sebastian had effectively made his old life impossible for him to return to. He'd always assumed that he'd have to leave his alias behind but he hadn't realized that Sebastian would essentially obliterate every trace of the person he'd been and the life that he'd had for the past three years.

It was a sobering reminder of the type of power and influence Sebastian possessed.

Kurt stood and brushed the nonexistent wrinkles out of his clothes. Sebastian may have erased Sylvester Hudson but couldn't do the same to Kurt Hummel. Kurt wouldn't allow it. He may not have been able to go back to life as Sylvester but he was damn well going to reclaim his life as Kurt Hummel.

Whether or not that life included being Sebastian's husband was a question he still didn't have any concrete answers to.

Most of him was convinced that he and Sebastian had turned a corner, that the conversation they'd had and the fact that Sebastian had brought his family to him meant that the other man was willing to at least meet him halfway.

But there was still a small part of Kurt that was wary, small a voice in his head urging him to remember closed caskets, burning limousines and the sound of Thad drawing his last breath.

Sebastian had ripped the pink ribbon off of Kurt's eyes viciously and violently and Kurt couldn't afford to allow himself to slip back into the land of denial. He was no longer lying to himself about just what Sebastian was capable of or why. There was no question that Sebastian was ready, willing and able to commit a multitude of sins if he felt the ends justified the means. The question was what Sebastian capable of when it came to Kurt.

It might have been foolish to anyone on the outside looking in, but Kurt soundly rejected any possibility of Sebastian physically harming him. Even though Sebastian was a physical threat to almost everyone else, he'd never raised a hand to Kurt. While Kurt had been understandably afraid when Sebastian had forced his way back into his life and bullied him into coming home that Sebastian might seek some form of physical retribution that fear had completely dissolved. Kurt was well aware of the fact that Sebastian could have hurt him-or worse-a dozen times over by now if that had been his goal.

This wasn't to say that he thought Sebastian incapable of hurting him. Kurt knew, and the phone calls this morning had slammed home, that there were far worse things Sebastian could do to him. A few days ago he would have hedged his bets that Sebastian was planning to do at least some of those things.

Kurt shook his head and sighed. He wasn't completely naïve. He understood that it was going to take more than a few days and one honest conversation for Sebastian to let go of hurt and anger or for him to truly trust Sebastian again. Kurt knew that in order for them to be different, Sebastian wasn't the only one who needed to change. Kurt also had to do things differently. Before he would have pretended that he that he was unaware of what Sebastian had done but he wasn't going to play that game anymore. He'd ask Sebastian for an explanation and he'd listen to what the other man had to say. There would be no more sweeping things under the rug or avoiding the uncomfortable confrontations but he also wasn't going to let his fears take over and assume the worst. He was going to give Sebastian the opportunity to be honest with him and he was going to prove to both of them that he could handle the truth-even when it was painful or ugly.

Feeling a little less panicked and a lot more centered Kurt left the bedroom to rescue the cookware and perhaps keep the house from being burned to the ground by the twin terrors attempting to make pancakes.

* * *

Sebastian would have been lying if he'd said he wasn't happy to see Burt, Carole and Finn back to their hotel. The afternoon had been significantly less awkward than the dinner the night before but he'd still be hard pressed to call it comfortable. Kurt had dragged them all over the city, showing Olivia all of his favorite spots and taking them off the tourist trap circuit and to more out of the way places that Finn, Burt and Carole would find interesting. The day had gone relatively well but he'd been keenly aware of the tension coming off of Finn and Burt and he knew that the presence of his guards hadn't done anything to ease the strain. When the day had wound down and Carole had claimed fatigue he'd offered the trio the use of one of his cars and a driver but Burt had turned him flat, the refusal so curt that even Olivia had picked up on it before Kurt had hailed a cab and hustled his father, brother and stepmother inside.

As uncomfortable as it had been for him, Sebastian had to admit that it had been good for Olivia to spend time with her extended family. Sebastian never thought he'd see the day where Kurt would have a rival for Burt's affection but Olivia had quickly become Burt's "Peanut" and the older man had thrown himself wholeheartedly into the role of grandfather. There was nothing that Olivia could ask for that Burt wouldn't get her and if by chance Sebastian or Kurt protested they were treated to twin glares from both Burt and their daughter, prompting Finn to remark that he was never having children which earned him a glare of his own from Carole.

Kurt had worn a toothy little smile on his face the entire day that had tugged at Sebastian's heartstrings. Sebastian had always loved seeing Kurt truly happy; there were few things Sebastian treasured more than when Kurt was so happy his nose scrunched up, his eyes crinkled at the corners and his smile showed his teeth. It wasn't expression Kurt let himself wear often; an old insecurity made Kurt hyper aware of his smile so Sebastian cherished every single toothy grin of Kurt's he'd ever seen and today's had been no different.

It wasn't until they had tucked Olivia in to bed and were settling down themselves that Sebastian felt a shift in Kurt's mood. The brunette was watching him carefully, thoughtfully with hooded eyes and it made him nervous.

"So are you going to tell me what's on your mind or am I supposed to guess?" Sebastian asked finally deciding to take control of the situation.

Kurt sighed. "I don't want to fight with you," he said slowly. "But I also don't want to repeat our mistakes. So in the interest of both full disclosure and turning over a new leaf, I need to tell you something and I need to ask you something."

Sebastian's heart jack hammered in his chest and he swallowed, schooling his face into a blank mask. "Okay."

"You have to be honest," Kurt said, looking him straight in the eyes. "No matter how ugly it is from now on between you and me there's nothing but the truth, okay?"

"Kurt," Sebastian said, climbing into bed and turning so he was facing his husband, "There are things that I am never going to be able to tell you. Secrets that I'm always going to keep from you, places I'll go that you can't follow-"

"This isn't about your…business," Kurt said. "At least it's not directly about your business. I realize that certain secrets you have to keep and I'll trust your discretion on what they are but this isn't about that."

"Then what is it about?"

Kurt bit his lip. "When I was getting dressed this morning I found a pin I'd gotten as a gift from one of my students. It made me feel a little nostalgic and a lot guilty so I called the school to explain my absence and do you know what happened?"

Sebastian steadily met Kurt's gaze. "Why don't you tell me?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes slightly and continued. "Callie-that's the secretary-she claimed not to know who I was and that no one by the name of Sylvester Hudson had ever taught at Grace Wick Elementary."

"Fascinating."

"Oh it gets better," Kurt said softly. "I called my old apartment complex and apparently they've never had a resident by the name of Sylvester Hudson and no one has lived in apartment 4C for quite some time."

"Imagine that."

"Yeah, imagine it. And imagine my surprise when my-Sylvester's-cell phone was disconnected, and his bank and credit card accounts all disappeared without a trace."

"If you're expecting an apology or a denial you're going to be waiting a long time," Sebastian said. "I won't pretend I didn't bury Sylvester Hudson and I won't pretend to regret it so if you're waiting on remorse-"

"I wasn't," Kurt said calmly. "I do however want an explanation. I wasn't planning on going back, Sebastian. You knew that. I told you that. I couldn't, _I wouldn't_ run again and even if I did I wouldn't be able to be Sylvester anymore. I want to know why you felt the need to completely erase the life I lived in the time we were apart."

"The life you lived in the time we were apart?" Sebastian repeated angrily. "That's exactly it Kurt, you lived a life in the time we were apart. You made friends, you had a career, _you had our daughter_ and I was here, in this house with your ghosts, falling to pieces every damn day-"

"Do you think I wasn't?" Kurt interrupted. "Sebastian, I _existed_ as Sylvester but it wasn't living, not really. I didn't have anything, not my family, not my friends, not even my name-"

"You had our daughter!" Sebastian shouted. "You had _everything_."

" _I didn't have you_ ," Kurt yelled back. "I didn't have everything because I didn't have you!"

"You made that choice," Sebastian pointed out, swinging his legs off over the side of the bed and preparing to get up.

"Do you need me say it?" Kurt asked, reaching out a hand to halt Sebastian's retreat. "Because I've been thinking a lot about things that you've said, the things Blaine has said, thinking about the past and the future and what I did and why and if you need to hear me say it Sebastian I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it: I was wrong."

Sebastian stilled. "What were you wrong about?"

"I wasn't wrong to be scared," Kurt said. "And I wasn't wrong to be furious at you and I wasn't wrong to be worried about the effect growing up in this life will have on our daughter. I won't lie and say that I don't still worry about that. I think that it would be crazy of me not to worry about that, not to want to keep her sense of right and wrong from getting warped or for her to grow up thinking that having armed guards and the imminent threat of bodily harm is normal. I wasn't wrong to want to keep her safe," Kurt insisted.

Sebastian narrowed his eye. "Oh well now that we've cleared that up-"

"But I was wrong to run," Kurt said quietly. "I had-and still do-every right to protect her but I had no right to take her from you like that or to keep her from you like the way I did. I wish I could go back and change things but I can't."

"No you can't," Sebastian agreed.

"But I can keep us from going down that same path again," Kurt said. "So I'm not going to be willfully ignorant. I won't allow you to not talk to me and I'm not going live in denial. It would have been easy for me to pretend I never made those calls but pretending and avoidance didn't work out so well for us in the past so we're doing things differently this time. We owe it to ourselves and our daughter to do it differently this time. So I'm not going to pretend I don't know what you did or imagine that you accomplished it all with a please and a thank you-"

"I didn't hurt anyone," Sebastian broke in.

"Would you have?"

Sebastian met Kurt's eyes. "Only if it had been necessary."

"Bas-"

"You have no idea," Sebastian said lowly. "You have no idea the things that went through my head while you were gone. The daydreams, the nightmares," he let out a broken, bitter laugh before he continued, "the panic attacks. I couldn't focus, I couldn't function."

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair and clenched his hands into fists. "I was this close," he said nearly bringing together his forefinger and thumb, "to losing everything, including my life. And it didn't matter to me because I had lost you, both of you."

Kurt took Sebastian's hand and pressed a kiss into his palm. "I'm sorry that I did something that hurt you so badly."

"I'm sorry that I did things that made you think you had to," Sebastian confessed. "But you asked me a question. You wanted to know why I did it so I'll tell you."

Kurt swallowed. "I'd appreciate the honesty."

"I know it's irrational and maybe a little crazy but I destroyed that life-his life because I hate Sylvester Hudson. He got to tuck my daughter in every night, sing her songs, teach her stories, and create traditions and routines. He got to see her hold her head up for the first time and learn how to crawl. He got her first word and her first tooth and her first steps. He robbed me. He robbed me and I hate him," Sebastian reached out and trailed his fingers down the side of Kurt's face. "I have to hate him because no matter how hard I try or how angry I am I can't hate you."

Kurt had no idea what to say so he simply leaned over and captured Sebastian's lips with his own in a kiss that was soft and sweet. "I could never hate you either. I've been angry and even afraid but I've never hated you and I don't think I ever could." he whispered.

Sebastian gave a ghost of a smile before initiating a kiss of his own. He rolled over onto his back, taking Kurt with him. His lips slid against Kurt's, their kiss becoming more urgent with each slick slide of their tongues. He removed Kurt's shirt and draped himself over Kurt's body, covering Kurt's chest with delicate kisses and barely there nips of his teeth.

"You know what I want right now?" he murmured, fisting one hand in Kurt's hair. "I want to watch you ride me."

Kurt choked off a moan and rose up to straddle Sebastian. "You have the best ideas," Kurt moaned, biting at Sebastian's jaw.

Sebastian let his hand wander from Kurt's hair to his hip, his fingertips teasing the waistband of Kurt's pajama pants as he kissed him again and then moved his hands to cup his ass. "Jesus you have a fantastic ass," Sebastian muttered.

"I have fantastic everything," Kurt joked back as he rolled his hips down against Sebastian who retaliated by scratching his nails across the small of Kurt's back. Kurt peppered kisses on the base of Sebastian's throat as he shifted and shimmied to work himself free of his pants and boxers before going to work on Sebastian's.

"Yes you do," Sebastian agreed, as he lifted his hips to help Kurt free him off his sleepwear and quickly shucked his shirt. The hungry, predatory gaze that he leveled at Kurt rattled the other man's bones and left him with the knowledge that whatever else may be shaky between them, there were no doubts when it came to physical side of their relationship.

"This is going to be embarrassingly short if you keep looking at me like that," Kurt panted.

"Then you better hurry up and get the lube," Sebastian laughed.

Kurt rolled his eyes and then leaned over to take the bottle out of the drawer in the nightstand. He poured some of the liquid onto his hands and then surprised Sebastian when he gripped his cock with both and ran his hands up and down his length a few times before he took one hand and reached down to cup and fondle his balls.

"Fuuuck," Sebastian breathed out. "Get yourself ready for me, baby."

"Bossy," Kurt groaned, and poured out a bit more lube and then reached down to slide a finger into himself, working it and out and making his cock grow harder and begin to leak. "Can't even just lay back and let me run the show when I'm the one doing all the work," Kurt moaned as he worked a second finger inside.

"I wouldn't say you're doing all the work," Sebastian murmured as he took the lubricant and drizzled some onto his own hand. Kurt keened loudly when Sebastian's hand closed around his cock and stroked him from the base to the tip.

"Oh Bas," Kurt moaned as he pressed another finger inside himself as deeply as he could get them with the somewhat awkward angle.

"I wish you knew how you looked to me. Opening yourself up, getting ready to take me. So sexy, so mine," Sebastian growled.

Kurt whimpered, sliding his fingers out and batting Sebastian's hand away from his cock. He positioned himself and slid down over Sebastian's cock, closing his eyes and letting little grunts of pleasure escape as Sebastian filled him.

Sebastian moaned and bucked his hips up, taking Kurt by surprise. "Love being inside you, making you mine," he said, wrapping his hand back around Kurt's cock and stroking him in time to his thrusts.

"A-always yours," Kurt stuttered. "And you're mine."

"Always," Sebastian whispered his assent then they let their bodies say everything that they couldn't find the words for. They spoke in startled gasps and broken moans, possessive touches and tender caresses urging one another to take more, give more, take _everything_ until Sebastian shuddered and rasped out Kurt's name and Kurt felt Sebastian filling him with his release. Kurt bit down on his lower lip and clenched his muscles around Sebastian, helping him to wring every last bit of pleasure from his orgasm.

"So good," Sebastian groaned as he tightened his grip on Kurt's cock and sped up his strokes, moving his hand faster and faster, flicking his thumb over the slit and dragging it through the sticky pre-cum that had gathered there.

Kurt moaned and shifted his position, leaning back to brace his hands on Sebastian's thighs. He threw his head back and focused on the slick slide of Sebastian's hand and the feel of his cock as he rode him. "So close," he murmured.

"Come on baby," Sebastian encouraged, thrusting up in time with Kurt's downward movements as Kurt thrust into his hand. " _Come on_ ," he urged and Kurt opened his mouth to joke about Sebastian being pushy and demanding but when he looked down and saw Sebastian's kiss swollen lips, sex flushed skin and the hot, hungry way he was watching him, Kurt was shoved over the edge and spasmed over Sebastian as he came. His body tightened and he slumped forward, whimpering as he spilled out over Sebastian's stomach.

Sebastian shifted and pulled Kurt down against him and Kurt went willingly, ignoring the mess between them. The conversation hadn't exactly been pleasant but they had been honest with one another, even when it hurt and Kurt was hopeful they could build on that.

"Come on," Sebastian murmured. "I'll start the shower, you change the sheets."

Kurt groaned. "I don't wanna move."

"And I don't want to scar our daughter for life so c'mon. Upsie daisy."

"You suck."

"Better than Blaine even," Sebastian grinned.

Kurt grabbed a pillow and threw it at Sebastian's head on his way into the bathroom.

After they'd showered and remade the bed, Kurt tangled his legs with Sebastian's and pulled his husband close to him. He knew that there was still a lot of ground that the two of them had yet to cover but for the moment he was content to drag lazy kisses across Sebastian's skin and sink into the feeling of Sebastian's arms around him as he fell asleep.

* * *

The next day Kurt, Olivia and Sebastian had an early breakfast with Burt, Carole and Finn before the trio boarded their plane back to Ohio.

"I wish we could stay longer but this was as much time off as Finn and Carole could get at the last minute and-"

"Dad, I understand. It's okay," Kurt said, clinging to his father. "I'm just happy that I got to see you guys and spend these last couple of days with you. They'll be more visits."

"You bet your ass there will," Burt said gruffly. "I'm not gonna lose you or my granddaughter. Not ever again."

Kurt swallowed down the lump in his throat and nodded, before quickly turning to embrace Finn and then Carole. "Thank you for taking care of him," he whispered in his stepmother's ear.

"Oh honey you don't have to thank me," Carole whispered back, squeezing Kurt tightly. "I love him and I love you and you just remember that you can always come home if you need to."

Kurt nodded and kissed Carole on the cheek before stepping back. "Okay," he said brightly. "As much as I love a dramatic airport farewell this is not goodbye. This is 'I'll see you later' so let's all dial it back a few notches and just…I'll see you later."

"Your flight is boarding," Sebastian said quietly.

"He's right," Kurt said, embracing his father one last time. "You guys better get a move on before all the good seats are taken."

"Your husband flew us first class. They're all good seats," Finn grinned, punching Sebastian in the shoulder just a touch too hard to be considered a completely friendly gesture.

Sebastian glared slightly and sent the other man a too sharp smile. "Don't want you guys to miss your flight so…"

"Sebastian's right," Carole interrupted. "We should get going."

"Okay yeah, we're going, we're going," Burt groused.

Sebastian, Kurt and Olivia waited until the trio had boarded before leaving the airport, Olivia's very loud, heartfelt farewell of "Goodbye Grampa an' Gramma and Uncle Finn! Bring more presents next time!" bringing a smile to Sebastian's face and the blush of mortification to Kurt's.

"And you doubted that she was the biological fruit of your spoiled rotten loins," Kurt huffed in the limo on the way back.

"She's direct. There's nothing wrong with that," Sebastian shrugged.

"There's…Sebastian. Never mind," Kurt yawned.

Sebastian gave Kurt an appraising look. "Tired?"

"Exhausted," Kurt confirmed. "I have no idea why. I feel like I just ran a marathon."

"You've had emotional morning," Sebastian said. "And you didn't get much rest last night. Makes sense that you'd be tired."

Kurt shook his head. "I guess but I wasn't really tired until-"

"Doesn't really matter, does it?" Sebastian cut him off. "We'll be home soon. You can take a nap."

Kurt nodded. "I guess you're right," Kurt said as he yawned again.

Wes made short work of the midmorning traffic and soon enough Kurt was falling face first into the mattress and drifting off to sleep.

He woke up hours later, completely disoriented. He felt slightly nauseous and his head was pounding.

"I cannot be coming down with something," he muttered as he dragged himself out of bed and across the hall to Olivia's room. He ducked his head in but his daughter was nowhere to be seen.

He made his way back into the master bedroom, picked up his cell phone and dialed Sebastian. The call went directly to voicemail.

"Hey Bas. I must be coming down with something. I didn't mean to crash like that. Um, so I'm awake now and I don't see a note or anything…I just…call me and let me know where you guys are and when you'll be home. Kay? Um…call me," Kurt said, making sure to press the one to mark the message urgent before he hung up.

After hanging up the phone Kurt made his way down the stairs. "Hey Jeff," he said, stopping the blonde. "I didn't see a note from Bas. Do you know where he and Livvie are and when they'll be back?"

Jeff avoided Kurt's gaze and shook his head. Kurt felt the beginnings of an idea begin to creep in but he pushed it back.

"No you don't know or no you won't tell me?" He asked lightly.

"I…don't know where they went," Jeff answered.

"Okay," Kurt said slowly. "Who does?"

"I don't…Kurt I don't know," Jeff said. He gave Kurt an apologetic shake of his head and then slipped around him and eased down the hallway.

Kurt stood stock still for a moment and then turned and went back up the stairs. "He didn't," Kurt whispered to himself. "He wouldn't," he said again as he paused outside of Olivia's bedroom door. He pushed the door open and paused in front of her closet. He took a deep breath and opened the closet doors.

It was completely empty.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up and Blaine does his best to do damage control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the kudos, comments, support and encouragement I've been getting. This story is outside the realm of what I usually write so it's been a real boost to my confidence to hear that you all have been enjoying it. As always, my [Tumblr](http://st-sebklaine.tumblr.com) is always open! Please come on by and tell me what you think or just to talk fandom or anything really :)

"Blaine, I'm not supposed to let you-" Jeff began

"Let him in or I will pull every bottle blonde strand out by the roots," Kurt yelled.

Blaine shouldered past Jeff and rushed over to where Kurt sat on the sofa. "Okay," he said holding his hands out in front of him, motioning for Kurt not to start speaking. "Just start from the beginning. When did you notice that something that wrong?"

"When I woke up from my nap and Sebastian and Olivia were gone," Kurt cried. "And nobody would look me in the eye, and nobody knows anything. They've all suddenly gone deaf, dumb and blind!"

"Okay, stop," Blaine said, "Tell me you didn't call the cops."

Kurt shook his head. "I called you," he whispered.

"That's good. You did so good," Blaine praised, pulling Kurt's hands into his. "Cops are a complication we don't need. I have my people out right now, trying to see if anyone saw anything. Did you talk to Andre?"

Kurt gave Blaine a blank look.

"The doorman?" Blaine prompted.

"I know who Andre is," Kurt snapped. "But why would I talk to him? He's not here today. There's some new guy and…" Kurt trailed off. "Andre's downstairs now, isn't he? The new guy this morning wasn't just some new doorman, was he? He was part of this wasn't he? Somebody that Sebastian knew wouldn't tell me-or you-anything and-"

"Hey, hey it's okay," Blaine, said quickly. "I'll find out who it was. Just…how long were you asleep?"

"I don't know. Four, maybe five hours? I was so tired on our way back from the airport and Sebastian suggested I take a nap-"

"That's a…that's a long nap," Blaine said. "You don't sleep like that unless you're sick. Are you sick?"

"No," Kurt said immediately and then blanched. "I felt a little off when I woke up but-"

"Off how?"

"I don't know, Blaine! I was a little nauseous and my head hurt a little but it's gone now and-oh my God!"

"Kurt-"

"He drugged me. He did. He had to," Kurt babbled hysterically. "Breakfast, this morning. He made my coffee. It's the only thing I had that no one else did and…oh my God, Blaine-"

"Stop," Blaine cut in. "Just go back and give me the details. Where was Sebastian when you went to sleep? Where was Olivia? Did you see him with her? When you woke up, what did you see? Is there a text on your phone? Have you checked your email?"

"I didn't see anything," Kurt interrupted. "I didn't see anything, Blaine. I didn't sit there and watch him steal my kid! There's nothing, there's nothing, Blaine!" Kurt screamed. "There's no note, there's no text, there's no email, there are no smoke signals and he hasn't sent a god damn carrier pigeon!"

"Kurt please, I need you to-"

"What if he drugged Olivia too? She would have said goodbye to me, Blaine. I know she would have. What if she's scared? What if she thinks I don't want her anymore? What if-"

"Kurt I need you to hold it together," Blaine said, cupping Kurt's face in his hands. "I need you to hold it together and tell me what happened. Start from the beginning, don't leave out anything."

Kurt's face crumpled and tears tracked their way down his cheeks before he drew in a shuddering breath and nodded. "I woke up," he began. "I felt a little off but I didn't…it was quiet. Too quiet, Olivia's not a quiet kid. She sings and she dances and she bangs on her drums and she," Kurt broke off in a sob.

"Kurt," Blaine said firmly. "It was quiet," he prompted.

"It was quiet," Kurt repeated. "I looked in her room and she wasn't there. I called Bas and left him a message and then I came downstairs and Jeff wouldn't talk to me and…I got this feeling. I got this feeling, Blaine and I went back upstairs and I went in her room and I o-opened her c-c-closet and it was empty and I just…he took my baby. Blaine, he took my baby."

Kurt suddenly jumped up from the sofa. He walked across the room to the telephone and picked it up. Quick as a flash Blaine was on his heels snatching the receiver out of his hands.

"Kurt-"

"Give me the phone back, Blaine."

Blaine shook his head. "I can't do that."

"I am calling the cops. I should have called them first…I don't…give me the phone."

"Kurt," Blaine said calmly. "You know you can't call the cops. It's not what we do in situations like this. I know you're freaking out but it would really bad for Sebastian if you get the police-"

"You think I care about what's good for Sebastian?" Kurt yelled. "He stole my child from me. I don't care about what's good for Sebastian or what a perfect little mafia husband is supposed to do in these situations, Blaine. I want my child back! If I call the cops they'll put out an Amber Alert and maybe someone who's seen her will call in and I'll know where she is and -"

"You have got to calm down and start thinking," Blaine snapped. "I will get her back but you have to calm down and you have to do what I say. Right now, this is containable. You get the cops involved and they call the Feds. You drag the FBI into this and it becomes a hell of a lot more dangerous for everybody involved. And trust me; publicity is the _last_ thing you want right now. Sebastian-"

"I don't care about Sebastian!" Kurt yelled.

"Then here," Blaine said, shoving the phone into Kurt's hands. "Call the cops. Sic the Feds on him. Give them the gift wrapped opportunity to come into his home, paw through his safes, his desk, his papers, question his people, and freeze his assets. They find out where he is, maybe go in with swat team, guns blazing, and take him out. Maybe Livvie gets caught in the crossfire, maybe she doesn't. You think they'll care? Go ahead, Kurt. You don't care about Sebastian. Put the target on his back."

Kurt turned away from Blaine and held the phone to his chest for a moment before shakily putting it back in its cradle.

"I hate that he did this," Kurt whispered.

"I know you do," Blaine said.

"And I hate myself for not being able to hate him."

"I will find him. I will find him and I will bring them back to you."

"Like you found me?" Kurt asked.

Blaine shook his head. "Different situation. This…this is about revenge. It's about breaking your heart the way you broke his. Sebastian's running on pure emotion right now and you know as well as I do when Sebastian is emotional-"

"He makes mistakes," Kurt murmured.

Blaine nodded. "He's reckless, he's impulsive, and he doesn't plan the endgame. It's the way he's always been. It's the reason he doesn't bring emotion into his work. With Seb emotion leads to a-"

"Face full of rock salt," Kurt said softly.

"Face full of rock salt," Blaine laughed dryly. "He's struggling, Kurt. He's been struggling since he found out where you where. The way you feel right now? It was worse for him. He broke, Kurt. He _broke._ And I don't know that the pieces are ever going to fit back together the way they were."

"He's punishing me," Kurt said.

"He's punishing you both," Blaine sighed. "You have no idea how conflicted he's been. Part of him wants to let everything go and start over and the other part of him needs to hang onto it and remember it because he trusted you and you broke him and he barely survived. He wouldn't make it through it again, Kurt."

"So he betrays me before I get the chance to betray him?" Kurt asked incredulously. "I wasn't going to! I thought we were better. I thought we were getting better."

"And when you left he thought you were happy," Blaine pointed out. "Back then, you made love to him. You told him you loved him. You kissed him goodbye and sent him out the door and then you took his daughter and you disappeared. Today, you woke up and your family was gone. I hate that you're hurting but I want you to feel this. _You feel this, Kurt_. Feel the fear. Feel the anger. Feel the guilt and the helplessness and live in the wreckage that's left behind. Now, imagine feeling this every moment of every day for the next three years. Imagine living this every moment of every day for the next three years and maybe, _maybe_ you'll start to get a picture of what you did to Seb."

"I don't deserve this, Blaine."

"No you don't," Blaine agreed. "But neither did Seb."

"I don't care who was right or wrong," Kurt said tiredly. "I just want my family back."

Blaine put his arms around his Kurt. "And I'm going to do that for you," he whispered. "Just give me time. Don't call your dad. Don't call the cops. Don't try to call Seb. Let me handle this."

Kurt nodded. "I trust you," he said, leaning into the embrace and resting his head on Blaine's shoulder.

"Well isn't this a heartwarming scene," Sebastian's voice cut in from the doorway.

The pair jolted apart. Kurt turned around so quickly he nearly lost his balance and Blaine reached out to steady him. "Bas, where's Olivia?" Kurt demanded.

"She's safe," Sebastian said coldly, unbuttoning his jacket and pouring a drink.

"Where is she," Kurt repeated, advancing on Sebastian and grabbing him by his lapels. "You took my daughter, you son of a bitch-"

"Our daughter," Sebastian cut in, shaking Kurt off of him. She's our daughter and you need to calm down."

"I'm gonna ask you one more time," Kurt said slowly, "And you're going to answer me. Where. Is. Olivia?"

"She's in a secure place."

"Seb-"

"Stay out of this Blaine," Sebastian warned.

"I should have known you'd do something like this," Kurt seethed. "I should have realized that a man who would murder a pregnant woman wouldn't have any qualms about using a child-our child-to punish me."

"Oh spare me the righteous indignation," Sebastian exploded, throwing his glass against the wall. "You stood right in this very living room, kissed me like you meant it and sent me on my way knowing that if you had your way I'd never see either one of you again."

"What was I supposed to do?" Kurt yelled back. "You kept me in the dark for years. You stayed silent while I put myself and then our daughter in harm's way-"

"I always did what was necessary to protect our family-"

"You sacrifice the safety of this family on the altar of your almighty business on a daily basis and I have no idea what you tell yourself to make that okay," Kurt fired back.

"Oh you don't? I didn't see you having a problem with my business when it was paying for this penthouse or your designer clothes or-"

"Let's say, for the sake of argument that you really do give a damn about Olivia-"

"She's my daughter," Sebastian roared. "She means the world to me."

"If that were true then you of all people should understand why I was willing to do whatever I had to in order to protect her," Kurt hollered back.

"Okay, how about everybody just calm down and we take a couple of steps back," Blaine interjected.

"Don't even _try_ to handle me right now Blaine," Sebastian warned.

"I am as calm as I'm gonna get," Kurt hissed.

"If you think I was going to just sit around and wait for you to disappear with our daughter again, you are insane. Fool me once, and all that," Sebastian said.

"You are such a fucking liar," Kurt snarled. "I _told you_ I wasn't going to run again. You didn't do this because you were afraid I'd disappear with Olivia; you did this to hurt me!"

"I trusted you completely," Sebastian said. "I let you into my heart. I opened up my life to you. I took you into my family, I gave you my name, and I gave you everything you ever asked me for because I thought that what we had was real-"

"So did I," Kurt interrupted. "And yeah you never lied to me Sebastian but we both know that there's a difference between not lying and telling the truth. So how do you think I felt when I finally realized just what I'd signed on for and worse what I'd burdened our daughter with? I was terrified, Bas. I was terrified. I made a difficult decision in order to-"

"You destroyed our family! You betrayed me and you put yourself, and our child and me at risk."

"Olivia was never in any danger!" Kurt insisted. "If I thought for one second she was at risk I would have called you. I would have come home, regardless of what you would have done to me. I would have-"

"Never seen a threat coming!" Sebastian exploded. "The day that I came for you, you walked right into the lion's den, Kurt. The security at your apartment complex was a fucking joke, your babysitter was dumber than a box of rocks, you worked at an elementary school that didn't even have a security guard, and you didn't have any way to protect yourself in the house-"

"I had a bat," Kurt defended himself.

"A Louisville Slugger never stopped a bullet," Sebastian said coldly.

"Well you would know, wouldn't you? You're the resident expert on bullets and bombs and torture and-"

"You knew who I was," Sebastian said icily.

"I thought I did," Kurt volleyed back. "But the man I fell in love with never would have crossed the kind of lines that you have."

"I explained to you that I would do whatever I had to in order to keep what was mine," Sebastian said. "You told me you understood. You looked in my eyes and told me you loved me. You told me you believed in me and you told me that you could live this life. And fine, _fine_ , I didn't push as much as I should have and I didn't prepare you as well as I could have but you cannot stand there and claim ignorance."

"I'm not," Kurt said. "I chose you. I chose you and I chose this, Bas but she didn't. And I got scared and I let my fear get the better of me and I ran but nothing, _nothing_ I did was to hurt you. You can't say the same."

"You think it matters that you didn't _mean_ to hurt me?" Sebastian asked Kurt. "You think because you didn't mean it that it didn't hurt? You wrecked me, Kurt. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think. I had nightmares every night. I kept dreaming that it was you two in the limo instead of Mallory. I kept seeing her in a casket in her christening grown. I kept seeing you under water, eyes open, body bloated…just…you haunted me. You haunted me. I heard your voice when no one was there. I heard her cry in the middle of the night and I knew…I knew it was in my head but I'd go check the nursery anyway-"

"Bas-"

"I couldn't function. I fell apart and I let things slide that I shouldn't have and I was almost," Sebastian cut himself off.

"You were almost what?" Kurt asked.

"Doesn't matter," Sebastian said. "The point is regardless of what you intended the result was a hell of a lot of pain and suffering on my part."

"So what, now it's my turn? You're turning our daughter into a weapon. She's not a stick for the two of us to use to beat each other with, Sebastian," Kurt said.

"Just following your lead," Sebastian shrugged. "Or are we forgetting your little day trip to Central Park?"

"I took guards, and I-"

"You intentionally defied me. You took our daughter out of this house after I expressly forbade it for no other reason than to thumb your nose at me and show me that you could-that you would! I can't trust you," Sebastian said.

"And this helps how? By showing me that I can't trust you either? Getting back at me doesn't help anything, Bas! Does hurting me mean this much to you? Was it so important to see me suffer? Do you even realize what you've done? You've left our child alone somewhere, Bas? _You left her_. She's with strangers right now. Is she afraid? Is she crying? Is she angry? Is she confused? You can't do this. You can't punish me at her expense!"

"Olivia is safe. She's fine and I'm not gonna fight with you, Kurt."

"I don't want to fight with you either, Bas. I just want you to bring our daughter home."

"Kurt-"

"What else do I have to do to prove myself to you?" Kurt asked. "You broke into my home, bullied and blackmailed me into coming back to you, killed a man practically before my eyes and I haven't done anything! I haven't called the cops, I haven't retaliated, no attempts to escape, you took my daughter and I called Blaine. _I called Blaine_ _instead of the cops_! I've explained myself to you. I've apologized to you. I've owned my part in where the train went off the tracks. What more do I have to do?"

"When I figure it out I'll let you know," Sebastian said, turning his back on Kurt and going up the stairs. "Make sure he gets to bed Blaine," Sebastian's order drifted down the stairs.

"Kurt-"

"Don't Blaine," Kurt warned lowly. "Just don't. I'm done. I'm so done."

"No you aren't," Blaine said. "You might want to be, but you're not."

"He took my baby," Kurt whispered. "That bastard took my child. He took her to hurt me and I'm not…I can't even. If it was anybody else I'd kill them. I would, I swear I would."

"C'mon," Blaine said, taking Kurt and guiding him up the stairs. "We're not gonna get anything done tonight. I will talk to him, I will talk him down but you have to hold it together. He's hurt and he's angry and he's scared as hell and he's lashing out."

"I don't care why he's doing it. He took her and he left her somewhere and I don't know where she is or if she's upset or if whoever has her knows how to do her hair in those fishtail braids she likes or knows not to sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider because she's scared of bugs or that tomorrow is Wednesday and on Wednesdays we wear pink-"

Blaine gave Kurt an unbelieving side eye. "Okay your obsession with Regina George? Officially over the top."

"You say potato," Kurt replied. "Blaine, I just want my baby back. I am her father. I have a right to see my child."

"You do," Blaine agreed. "Of course you do. And you will. Just please be patient. Please be patient, Kurt. Give me time to fix this."

Kurt giggled hysterically. "Fix this? This can't be fixed. Not anymore. We're so broken. _We're so broken_. The sticker on the box says assembly required but not possible."

Blaine was silent as he led Kurt to the guest room. He sat Kurt on the bed and untied his shoes and then arranged him on the bed under the covers. He then toed off his own footwear, removed his jacket and climbed in next to him.

"Careful," Kurt murmured. "I have an extremely jealous husband."

"He'll understand," Blaine replied. "After all, I did the same thing for him once. You two aren't broken, Kurt. You're battered and you're bruised but you're not broken."

"Blaine, there's a fine line between optimistic and delusional and you're straddling it, my friend," Kurt said.

"Do you still love Sebastian? Do you still want this marriage?"

Kurt shook his head and then nodded. "How pathetic am I? Even after all he's done to hurt me I can't stop loving him. I can't stop wanting what we had and I can't let him go. Even now I can't let him go. He took my child and he did it to hurt me and I can't hate him for it. I hate myself. I hate myself for loving him like this. It's like a disease inside of me that there's no cure for and even if there were a cure I don't know that I'd take it. What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Blaine said firmly. "You love him and that doesn't make you pathetic, especially since he loves you the same way."

"Sometimes I think I can't do this anymore," Kurt confessed. "Sometimes I just want to be done. I love him, Blaine. I love him so much. The way he smiles at me, and kisses me and knows me…he knows me so well that he knows what I'm going to do before I even know it myself. And it's good; we're so good. Until we're not and then it's just…it's bad. And I'm _so tired_ of the bad, Blaine and sometimes I swear I'm tired enough that I don't want to do this anymore."

"And other times?"

"He loves me," Kurt said. "He loves me and even when he does things like this that make it so hard for anyone on the outside looking in to believe that, I know that it's true. I also know that sometimes it's not enough."

"Since when? You wrote in my yearbook love conquers all."

Kurt sighed. "I was a high school kid who didn't know any better. Now I'm staring down the last half of my twenties, married to a mob boss and we keep playing hide and seek with our daughter. I stopped believing that I love you fixed everything the day I got on bus with my daughter with a pocketful of fake ID's and duffle bag full of stolen cash fleeing from my husband's life. I used to think that I love you fixed everything and it justified anything but that's not true. I know that no matter how much you might feel like it does, loving someone doesn't give you the right to hurt someone just to get something you think you want or you really do need."

"Kurt-"

"I love Sebastian. I do, I love him. I'm his husband and even now, when I want to strangle him, I still want to be a good husband to him. I don't know how, but I want to. And I know that's not logical. I know logically I should be running for the hills. I should be calling a lawyer, calling the cops, doing anything and everything to get away because loving like this is crazy. It swallows me whole and I am drowning in it and I can see the life preservers being thrown to me but I can't make myself reach out for them. I am lost in him, in us. Love shouldn't be this destructive," Kurt whispered.

"It's not always. You and Sebastian take each other apart," Blaine noted. "You exploit each other's weaknesses and you push until one of you bends and one of you breaks. But you also hold each other together. The way that you love each other is like nothing I have ever seen, Kurt. It's a force of nature. And like every force of nature whatever it tears down it can build back up," Blaine said.

"I'm afraid," Kurt said. "I'm afraid that we've gone so far we can't come back. I never did anything with the express purpose of causing him pain. I would never do anything just to make him hurt."

"Kurt, you knew when you got on that plane things weren't going to be easy," Blaine said quietly. "I tried, I tried really hard to get him to let this go but you know Sebastian. And you have to know that hurting you is damn near killing him."

"I could leave," Kurt said. "I could get Olivia back and I could leave."

"Yeah but could you stay away?" Blaine asked. "Now that you know what it did to him? Now that Olivia knows him, loves him? Now that you've had him back? Would it make you happy to be without him?"

"I don't know," Kurt said. "I doubt it. And how is that even possible? I'm not this person. When did I get so weak?"

"You're not," Blaine said. "If you were you wouldn't be here. You keep saying you're torn, that you're confused, you keep saying that you don't know what you want, but Kurt the truth is you do. You're just scared. You want Sebastian. You want your husband and your marriage and all the messy complications that it comes with because if you didn't you wouldn't be here right now. You are the strongest person I have ever met and if you wanted to walk out that door you would and you would never look back. No one, not even Seb, has ever been able to make you do anything you didn't want to do or be anywhere that you didn't want to be. It's not over because you don't want it to be. It ends when you don't care anymore and you still care."

"Caring isn't going to fix what's wrong between us," Kurt said. "And I don't know what will."

"Maybe all you need is time," Blaine offered. "Time for him to see that he can trust you again and time for you to see that this life doesn't have to be the Lifetime movie you have playing in your head. You can be happy, Olivia can be happy and you both can be safe. You and Sebastian just have to get out of your own way."

"Maybe we both need intensive therapy and massive amounts of the really good drugs," Kurt said.

"What you two have is real," Blaine said. "It's messy and it's chaotic and it's inconvenient but it's real and it's not going to go away because you're mad at each other or you're afraid to trust again. It's worth fighting for."

"And I thought I was the hopeless romantic in the group," Kurt said.

"I guess you've rubbed off on me," Blaine said.

"Oh God, there's a bad joke there," Kurt snorted.

Blaine laughed. "I'm pretty sure there's nothing but bad jokes there. Now hush. Get some rest. In the morning I'll talk to Seb, get this straightened out, get Olivia home and then you two can work on the rest of it."

Kurt hummed and closed his eyes. Eventually his breathing evened out and his body relaxed enough that Blaine was sure he was asleep. Blaine carefully untangled himself from his friend and went down the hall to the master bedroom where Sebastian was. As soon as he pulled the door closed behind him, Kurt's eyes flew open and he turned over and grabbed Blaine's jacket from beside him on the mattress, rummaging around inside until he found Blaine's cell phone.

* * *

Blaine found Sebastian outside and in no mood to talk.

"It's late and I'm tired," Sebastian's voice carried over from the terrace.

"Yeah well so am I," Blaine said, stepping outside to where Sebastian was. "What were you thinking?"

"I don't owe you an explanation, Blaine."

"The hell you don't," Blaine said hotly. "I could have fought you for him and I would have won. Not because he loves me more but because you were still trying to turn into a real, live boy and didn't know how to use your words or let yourself be vulnerable or give him what he needed back then."

"So why the hell didn't you, huh?" Sebastian asked. "It was always supposed to be you anyway-"

"I trusted you!" Blaine exploded. "I got out of the way because he has never looked at me the way he looks at you and you have never been happier than you are with him. I stepped aside and I stepped back and I walked through hell with a smile on my face so that the two of you could be together and both have the life and the love that you deserve and the family that you wanted."

"You think I don't know how selfish I've been?" Sebastian asked. "You love Kurt, I take him from you. I propose to him, ask you to be my best man. Have a child with him and ask you to be her godfather. You think I don't know what I stole from you?"

"You didn't steal anything from me," Blaine said. "Kurt and I weren't meant to be. The way we love each other there's something missing. We would have been happy enough but it wouldn't have been right. The way that we love each other it just isn't enough-for either of us. But the way that he loves you and the way that you love him, that is something special. That is something worth fighting for."

"Why should I?" Sebastian asked. "Why should I keep fighting when I feel like a hamster on a wheel that's just running and running and running and not getting anywhere?"

"Because what you're doing right now isn't just betraying Kurt," Blaine yelled. "You're betraying me, Olivia and yourself. You are hurting your family. Kurt, Olivia, me…you are hurting us and you are hurting yourself. I love you. I love you enough to put you first, to sacrifice for you. I will do _anything_ for you. Except this. I will not stand by and watch you destroy yourself and destroy your family."

"I'm not doing this to hurt you," Sebastian told Blaine. "I wouldn't hurt you if I could help it, you know that."

"What about Kurt? What about Olivia? Do you have any idea what this is going to do to your daughter?"

"I would never do anything to harm Olivia but I won't lose her again, Blaine," Sebastian vowed. "I won't let him take her away from me again and he needs to understand what he did. He needs to-"

"There has got to be another way to handle this," Blaine interrupted. "You don't have to make your family a casualty of war, Seb. I don't understand how we got here. The other day you guys were fine. What in God's name happened?"

Sebastian glared at Blaine. "Don't act like this is new, Blaine. You knew that I hadn't forgiven him. You knew that-"

"You were working on it," Blaine cut in. "I thought you were gonna give things time to settle down, time for you two to reconnect-"

"How much time does one person get? How much time does one person…look he's run out-I've run out of time," Sebastian said.

"No you haven't," Blaine scoffed. "I realize you're mad as hell right now but you also still love him. Believe it or not, stranger relationships than yours have survived. You still have a chance but not if you do this. There's no coming back from this, Seb."

"I can't trust him," Sebastian said quietly. "I can't trust him, Blaine and in this life if I can't trust him then this won't work. You know that."

"I know that if you really thought that you couldn't trust him he wouldn't be under your roof right now," Blaine returned. "So that right there tells me there has to be some kind of trust between you two."

"It's not enough-"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to stand by and watch you destroy yourself? To just stand here while you take everything you've ever wanted, everything you deserve and just toss it away?" Blaine asked Sebastian.

"As much as I cherish these heart to hearts of ours I don't have time for this, Blaine."

"Well make time," Blaine replied. "I'm not done with you and if you want to get rid of me you're going to have to throw me out with your own two hands."

'"You do realize we're on the top floor and I could toss your little midget ass over the balcony?"

Blaine crossed his arms and stared at Sebastian.

"Fine," Sebastian huffed. "Get to it, Blaine. Tell me what a bad boy I've been. Lecture me on all my failings as a husband and a father and how mean I'm being to poor innocent little Kurt-"

"You think I came out here to lecture you?" Blaine asked, stepping up to stand beside Sebastian.

"Of course you did. You're on his side," Sebastian said, refusing to meet Blaine's eyes.

"I'm on _your_ side," Blaine said softly. "Which coincidentally happens to be Kurt's side and amazingly enough also happens to be Olivia's. And because I'm on your side I know that you're hurting."

"You know do you? You know anything else, Oracle of Dalton?" Sebastian asked. "Lotto numbers? Whose gonna win the Superbowl? Do you know what happened to the Mary Celeste?"

"Well somebody's a little bundle of bitch," Blaine snapped. "You really think a couple of sarcastic remarks are gonna make everything okay? You're hurting, Seb. You're hurting and you're angry and you're going through something that I won't even pretend that I can understand but instead of lashing out and making everything ten times harder than it has to be why don't you try dealing with it like a grown up? Take off your bitch britches, put on your big boy pants and deal with it."

"Alright Blainers," Sebastian snarled. "Since you know everything how do I deal with it? How do I deal with the anger and the rage, hmm? How do I look at him and not see three years worth of betrayal and pain and abandonment? How do I not resent that I still wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat while he lies right next to me and sleeps like a baby? How do I get over the fact that the one person I trusted to never hurt me is the one person who damn near destroyed me? Tell me, Blaine. Give me some suggestions because I've gone over it and over it and I just…you tell me. C'mon, you tell me," Sebastian challenged.

"I'll tell you this much, revenge is not the answer," Blaine said softly.

"Who said anything about revenge?"

"Oh come on, this is me you're talking to," Blaine said. "This is all about revenge, Seb. I told you, you can't have both. You can't get your revenge and have reconciliation. It won't work."

"I have every right to resent him," Sebastian growled.

"You do," Blaine agreed. "I was here. I saw what he did to you and I won't ever forget it but I love him enough to find a way to forgive it and that's what you have to do. You need to ask yourself if this is worth it, if this is really what you want because it is painfully obvious that this is hurting you as much as it's hurting him. Sebastian, when this thing falls apart-and it will- who do you think is going to suffer the most? You. And in the meantime, everyone is paying. You, Kurt, Olivia-"

"I'm fine. Olivia is fine-"

"She is away from both of her parents, that little girl is not fine. Kurt is not fine and you are not fine," Blaine insisted. "You are miserable right now, Seb. You're miserable because as angry as you are and as hurt as you are you can't take pleasure in his pain. You hate what he did but you love him. So stop this. Stop this before your pride and your anger and your wrath choke the life out of everything good that you have between you two. Let it go while you still have a chance."

"The only thing that I care about is my child," Sebastian said. "And I can't stop…I couldn't see her, I couldn't hold her. I couldn't even talk to her thanks to her father-"

"And now neither one of you can hold her thanks to you," Blaine interrupted. "Instead of escalating this, which is only going to make things worse, don't you think you should sit down and talk to Kurt? Really talk to him, gritty, dirty, no holds barred, get it all out on the table and come away with a resolution once and for all instead of this endless loop of steps forward and jumps back. Don't you think it's time you stopped playing nobody's favorite game of Hurt Me and I'll Hurt You Back? Don't you think it's time to finally get past it-"

"Get past it?" Sebastian repeated. "Blaine, I'm not trying to destroy Kurt, okay. I don't…I wouldn't…I can't…look all I want is my daughter and I will do whatever I have to in order to get my hands on her."

"You start this war and everyone is going to get wounded-"

"I'm already there," Sebastian held up his hand and pointed to the faint pink lines across his palm. "Look, I've already got the scars to prove it."

"Yeah, and what are you gonna do when Kurt drags you into court-and you know he will-and his lawyer asks how you got those scars?" Blaine asked. "Or how your father died? Or how many times you've been hauled in for questioning by the FBI or why the glass up here is bulletproof?"

"I think _Sylvester_ will have at least as much to explain as I will if we end up in family court, don't you? Now if you're trying to fix my life Iyanla-"

"Alright listen to me, Seb. Just because you started this round doesn't mean you can't stop it."

"It's a little too late for me to mea culpa-"

"No it is not too late, it's never too late. Not when it comes to you and Kurt. You bring Olivia home and the two of you might even still find a way to reconcile."

Sebastian laughed. "Are you high right now," he asked Blaine. "Weston got you on the good drugs?"

"No," Blaine said dryly, "And it's entirely possible that you two could make this work. As long as there's love-"

"I swear to Christ if you start quoting Disney at me you're going over the balcony."

"Fine Seb. You lash out at everyone and let bitterness and rage cloud your judgment and run your life. You just remember this: You might not only be risking the loss of your husband and the child you so desperately want to hang onto, you might just be risking your freedom and your life."

"Kurt doesn't know anything about my business."

"No but he does know about your breakdowns," Blaine said quietly. "And you push him hard enough he's going to push back. You are giving him no reason to be loyal to you and every reason to help someone take you down. If you're gonna go to war with him then treat him like any other enemy. Bury him, Seb because he's a liability and-"

"You shut your mouth," Sebastian growled, grabbing Blaine by his shirt and shoving him up against the edge of the balcony. "I will toss you over and watch your ass bounce off of the concrete. Don't you ever, _ever_ , talk about him like that. Kurt is not my enemy and I won't treat him like one. And he's not a snitch or a rat; he'd never turn on me like that. He'd never risk my life or try to put me in a cage no matter how angry he was. If he was gonna turn when he realized that I had taken Olivia he would have called the cops instead of calling you and-oh _fuck you Anderson_."

Blaine smiled and shrugged. "You see what I did there," he asked as he removed Sebastian's hands.

"See what?" Sebastian asked. "You've said and done so many oh so useful things tonight that I-"

"Cut the crap, Seb." Blaine ordered. "You just proved that when you strip everything away and you're running on instinct, yours tell you to protect Kurt, to trust Kurt. _You trust him, Seb_. You may not want to, but you do. It may not be as it was before, but you do trust him. And there you have it. You love him. You trust him. You want him. You have him, Seb. You have him. You have everything that you have ever wanted and you are throwing it away. You can choose to have your revenge or you can choose to have your family. _You don't get both_."

"Blaine-"

"Stop pretending this happened in a vacuum," Blaine advised Sebastian. "Stop pretending you never did anything wrong and Kurt woke up one morning and just decided to drag you through hell for shits and giggles. You made mistakes. He made mistakes. Things are a mess right now but they don't have to stay that way. You love him. He loves you. Together the two of you are better and stronger than you are alone."

"Blaine-"

"You know this is killing me too, right?" Blaine asked quietly. "Watching someone that I love, someone that I know has an enormous capacity for love and who has fought his way out of the dark turn around and make such terrible mistakes is killing me. I remember the boy that you were. I remember that angry, entitled, spoiled, sarcastic little snot who thought he was better than everybody else and never let anybody in and couldn't trust anyone with anything real-"

"Well flattery will get you everywhere, Blainers."

"Shut up," Blaine ordered. "I don't hate very many people but I hated that little shit. But it has been my honor and my privilege to watch you go from being that angry, closed off little boy that I couldn't stand to the amazing man that I am proud to call my best friend-"

"Kurt's your best friend."

"You both are."

"You are such a –you can't have _two_ best friends," Sebastian pouted. "Best means _best_. There's no tie when something is the best-"

"Don't italicize at me and I can have as many best friends as I want. It's my world Smythe and you're just living in it."

"Is your world made of sunshine and lollipops?"

"Yes, and everyone poops rainbow glitter and rides magic unicorns, now shut up before someone drops a house on you," Blaine rolled his eyes. "I'm serious here, man. I love you. I love you and I want you to have everything you deserve and it's killing me to see you do this to yourself. Watching you fall backwards and revert back to being that hurtful little boy is killing me. And it's killing any chance you have at the life and the love you deserve."

"I'm pretty sure that right now what you think I deserve and what Kurt thinks I deserve are vastly different things."

"Yeah, cause you keep making stupid decisions instead of giving things time-"

"Time?" Sebastian questioned. "There you go again with this time thing. Blaine, time won't make a difference. Things will just get worse and worse and worse until they're finally over, forever."

"You are Kurt are forever," Blaine said. "The kind of love you two have doesn't end. It might change, you might walk away from it, but love like that doesn't end. What do you want for your daughter, Seb?"

"What?"

"What do you want for Olivia? Tell me right now what kind of life you want for her to have?"

"I want," Sebastian started and then swallowed. "I want her to be safe and happy and healthy. I want to watch her to play on the swings in the park and teach her how to build a snowman. I want her to get a dog that Kurt and I fight about because it ends up being one of those teacup rats instead of a real dog and the damn thing knows I hate it so it deliberately pisses me off. I want her to go to school and win spelling bees and exchange friendship bracelets with her best friend and badger me into letting her host sleepovers that Kurt just takes way over the top. No bowl of popcorn and a monster movie for our baby girl…no, Kurt's gonna throw themed sleepovers. Disney Princess, Spa Day, Fashion's Night In-"

"He so totally would," Blaine laughed.

"And she'd love it because she's an even bigger diva than Kurt and Rachel combined," Sebastian chuckled. "I want Olivia to go to her first dance and while Kurt's helping her fix her hair I want to put the fear of Smythe in the pimply faced little punk whose gonna get the honor of having her on his arm. I want her to have Christmases where Kurt drives us insane by forcing us to pose for a family Christmas card and then makes us trim the tree together knowing that it makes him crazy for anyone other than him to decorate anything during the holidays. I want to teach her how to drive and put one of those My Kid's An Honor Student bumper stickers on my car and for her to be completely embarrassed by how lame her parents are. I want her to be the lead in the school play and Clara in The Nutcracker and I want her to go to college and meet some guy who isn't remotely good enough for her and for her to fall in love and become the President of the United States of America. I want her to have it all," Sebastian finished.

"Then you make sure she gets it," Blaine said clapping Sebastian on the shoulder. "You make sure she gets everything and you start by giving Olivia her family. Give her back her father. Bring her home."

"Kurt-"

"Kurt could have strung you up by your balls and he didn't," Blaine cut in. "No matter what else is going on with you two, this is the one thing you agree on. You would both move heaven and earth for the sake of that little girl's happiness. So for her sake get your priorities in order Seb and give up all this revenge and regret and sit down with Kurt and find a way to move forward."

"I hate what he did."

"I'm pretty sure you two are even on that score."

"He's never going to forgive me," Sebastian said. "You know that don't you? I bring her home and he's gonna take her and he's gonna leave. He can't forgive me for this."

"Why don't you forgive him first and show him how?"

"I heard him earlier," Sebastian confessed. "I was ah, outside the door and I heard him say loving me was like a disease."

"Then you also heard him say that he wouldn't want to be cured."

"The way that I love him is my greatest strength and my biggest weakness," Sebastian admitted. "I think about him all the time. His safety, how he feels, how I can make him mine and no one else's. And the whole time he was away from me all I cared about was getting him back. He fills my senses and clouds my judgment but every once in awhile I see clearly. I know I should walk away. He could cost me everything because I would give him _anything._ I should walk away but I don't, _I can't_ , because I want him so bad, I need him so bad that he's become my center. I can't let him go even to save myself."

"Loving like that can only make you weak if you let it," Blaine said.

"You know when we're little we're sold these fairytales about how love conquers all and how it's this bright, shiny thing that makes you stronger, better, completes you and makes everything beautiful. No one ever tells us the other side," Sebastian said, rocking slightly on his heels. "No one ever tells you there's another kind of love. No one ever tells you that there's the kind of love that makes you feel like your soul is being ripped out of you. That you can find an angel, an absolute angel, and they can be the ones to cut your heart out. And it's not their fault because they don't understand that they become your addiction. And even when it's good, it's bad because you can't be without it. Nobody ever tells you that what nourishes you will also destroy you."

"It doesn't have to," Blaine maintained. "Loving someone so completely they become a part of you doesn't have to be a bad thing."

"No, it doesn't," Sebastian agreed. "And a lot of the time it's not. But then it is and we end up here. With him betraying me and me hurting him just because I can. And as bad as this is, and make no mistake it's a fucking mess, I know right in here," he said pointing to his heart, "that I'm stronger with him than I am without him. I'm better with him than I am without him."

"Well there you go man-"

"I just don't know if it's the same way for him."

"Seb-"

"I will let this fire consume me," Sebastian said. "I will sacrifice myself without a second thought. I won't let him go to save myself but I will find a way to be without him if it saves him. I won't destroy him the way I destroy everything else."

"You don't-"

"Yeah, I do. And I've made my peace with that. Most of the time I don't even care. But I don't want to ruin him, Blaine. I don't want to break him. He's my first love. He's the first person I've ever loved who actually loved me back. He's turned himself inside out for me and I still keep on demanding more. And I'm not gonna stop, we both know that. I will always want more. I will always be demanding and difficult and selfish because that's who I am. I'm not gonna stop making him lie, making him compromise himself, his principles, his-"

"Choice," Kurt interrupted from the doorway. "He is a fully functioning adult capable of making his own decisions. If you love me the way that you say you do, how about you trust me enough to respect my choices?"

"And on that note I'm gonna head home," Blaine said. "You two work this out. Call me if you need me," he said as he left the pair standing alone.

"So here we are," Kurt said.

"Yep," Sebastian said, popping the 'p'. "Here we are."

"I am furious with you and it's taking everything in me not to shove you over that balcony," Kurt said icily.

"You come out here to tell me how much you hate my guts?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm the one who should be asking you that question, don't you think?" Kurt returned. "You want to punish me, Bas? Fine, you can hate me all you want and I won't give a single, solitary damn but you are not keeping me away from my child."

"This isn't about punishing you. Not entirely. This is about my daughter and-"

"Like hell it is," Kurt scoffed. "If you were rational or capable enough to set aside your anger and put Olivia's interests first you would have never done this."

"You took her from me."

"And now you've taken her from me. She's our daughter, Bas. She's our daughter and she belongs here with the both of us," Kurt said.

"Kurt-"

"I can't hate your guts," Kurt admitted. "I love you and you love me right back. And I remember how long it took you to be able say it, to be able to give me those three words. I remember the first time you told me your voice was shaking and your hands were trembling and you looked like you were going to throw up and you were so afraid that part of me just wanted to shush you and tell you it was okay, that you didn't have to say it but I've always been selfish when it comes to you, Bas. I wanted those words, I wanted you to admit how you felt and when you did it was as if my soul opened up. I don't know how not to love you. We may not have figured out this whole honesty and trust thing but love, Bas. Love isn't the problem here."

"Just because you love something doesn't mean it's good for you," Sebastian shrugged. "No matter how you pretty them up bad choices are still bad choices and people don't always want what makes them happy. Sometimes we go for that thing that takes you higher or lower than you've ever been, pushes you farther than you thought you'd ever go, makes you do things you thought you'd never do."

"Love isn't a choice," Kurt said. "What you do with what you feel, that's where the choices lie. But love, baby love is emotion, not a decision. Just because I could kill you just as easily as I could kiss you right now doesn't mean I love you any less. I grew up loving you. I became a man, a husband, a father, loving you."

"I can't promise you that I'm not gonna hurt you," Sebastian said.

"I can't promise not to hurt you right back," Kurt interrupted. "You love me the same way I love you and sometimes that means that somebody is going to get hurt."

"Not exactly a great selling point."

"We get desperate and needy. We get angry and scared and we do stupid things," Kurt said. "You hurt me, I hurt you, but we never stop loving each other and don't you dare stand there and tell me that doesn't count for something."

"And what about Olivia?" Sebastian asked. "I break you, you break me, where's that leave her?"

"Why does anyone have to be broken?" Kurt asked. "Why can't we-"

"Because history repeats itself."

"Not all the time. Not if you learn from it and not all history is painful," Kurt stated.

"Ours is painful."

"What we never smiled? We never laughed? We never had any good times?" Kurt demanded.

"Of course we did," Sebastian huffed. "You know that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that you've proven that you can live your life without me in it-"

"I was miserable the entire time."

"So was I," Sebastian admitted.

"So there's that," Kurt said. "I'm not going to pretend I have any answers. Hell, I keep changing my mind every five minutes about whether I want to run from you or run to you. Just be honest with me. Is this what you really want? To make me suffer? To keep Olivia away from me forever?"

"Why are you asking me what I want when you're the one who started this? You chose to lie to me. You chose to betray me. You chose to take our daughter and leave and I wasn't the enemy then. All I did was love you and for my trouble I got stabbed in the back and abandoned. All I did was love you, all I did was -"

"Lie by omission," Kurt finished. "You didn't trust me enough to be honest with me and you left me in the dark and I drew my own conclusions about this life and what it meant and what it would mean for our child and I made my decision based on the information I had. I wish you'd talked to me or I'd pushed you more. Maybe if we'd gotten everything out in the open back then I wouldn't have been so desperate and afraid but if wishes were horses then beggars would ride. But I love our little girl, Sebastian and the idea of living my life without her-"

"You sure as hell wouldn't have minded if that had happened to me."

"I was afraid!"

"And you panicked. And you acted on that panic and that is what worries me Kurt," Sebastian interrupted. "What happens the next time you get scared? What happens the next time I have to do something that offends your delicate sensibilities?"

"I don't have any illusions left about you, Sebastian." Kurt said baldly. "You kill people. And it doesn't matter if those people are women, unborn children or undercover cops if they're a threat, you e-eliminate them. You're not the anti-hero in some romance novel, you're a mob boss and you kill people."

"Not always," Sebastian shrugged. "Sometimes I just have them tortured or bankrupt them-that's always fun."

"Nothing says a good time like causing a little financial ruin," Kurt cracked. "Point is I'm not as naïve as I used to be. I'm not okay with it-I will _never_ be okay with it but…I think that if you give me time I can find a way to live with it."

"You think? And if you can't?" Sebastian demanded.

"Then we work something out. Joint custody, visitation, something that isn't this."

"Or I join her where she is and let you go live the rest of your safe, secure, law abiding life in peace," Sebastian countered.

"And what happens to Olivia if I suddenly drop out of her life, huh? She'll just get over it? She'll forget me eventually right," Kurt challenged Sebastian. "That's what you'd think if you were the man you want everybody to believe that you are. Cold, hard, uncaring. Maybe you turned into that guy, maybe I turned you into that guy, I don't know. I do know that you were never that man before and you never were that man with me. There was a time when you were willing to trust me with everything and believe in something besides the pursuit of power and money. You let me love you. You let me love you and you let me give you hope and faith and a family and you even let yourself love me back. I know that man is still there. I see him every time Olivia smiles and every time that we make love. So tell me, be honest, is this really how you want things to be?"

Sebastian shook his head. "It doesn't matter if this is the way I want things because this is the way they are. And this kinder, gentler Sebastian that you swear existed once upon a time I don't have him in me anymore, Kurt. He's gone, he kicked the bucket, he bought the farm because you stomped him out of me, Kurt."

"Sebastian-"

"You made me hope, Kurt. You made me believe that I could have something good and real. You made me love you and need you and you gave me everything I never knew I wanted and then you took it away," Sebastian said. "You keep talking about this decency in me; I don't think you believe that. I don't think you ever believed that-"

"That's not true," Kurt shouted. "I wouldn't love you if that were true."

"Then how come you turned on me the way you did? You had to make a decision and your decision was that I didn't matter-"

"That's not true and I've told you that a hundred times, you just refuse to hear me!" Kurt broke in. "And that is on you, not me. And okay fine, maybe we can't go back to dancing on the roof with you singing Sinatra in my ear but we don't have to be _here_."

"I never understood how you could lie to me, plan to hurt me, follow through on it and still love me," Sebastian said, walking over to Kurt and cupping his face in his hands. "But I do now. The entire time I was planning this I never stopped, never for one moment did I stop loving you. And I can't stop being angry with you either. I thought I could do this. I thought I could make you cry, watch you hurt. I thought that I could treat you like I would anyone else who'd betrayed me, made a fool of me, caused me the kind of pain that you have and the truth is, I can't. I can't because you're not anyone else. You're Kurt; you're _mine_ and I can't hurt you without breaking myself."

Sebastian kissed Kurt on the forehead. "Go to bed. You look exhausted and I'm going to go make some calls."

Kurt looked like he was going to argue but he simply nodded and gave Sebastian a soft kiss before turning and leaving his husband alone out on the terrace.

As soon as Kurt made it back to the guest room he retrieved Blaine's cell phone from under the mattress and called Santana.

"I did what you said," he told Santana as soon as she picked up.

"Good. Let's hope you're as good an actor as you always thought you were and he bought it. The sooner he brings your kid home, the sooner we can get you both the hell out of there and then we can haul his platinum plated ass to the cleaners," Santana said.

"This isn't about money. I just want my little girl."

"And what are you going to raise her on, your good intentions? Newsflash Daddy Dearest, kids can't eat moral fiber," Santana said. "I hope you know you're on the clock and I'm billing you at my regular rate. If you and Don Corleone reconcile I'm still getting paid."

Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose. "There are more important things at stake here than your billable hours, Santana."

"First-nothing is more important than my billable hours," Santana informed Kurt. "Second, listen and listen good. When our plan works and Sebastian brings that kid home don't you dare pull a runner on me. Practice some self control and show some restraint. We're already at a disadvantage because of you thinking real life is a trashy made for tv movie and you can take your kid and bounce like a runaway slave-"

"I told you-"

"And I'm telling you from a legal standpoint you screwed the pooch," Santana snapped. "I'm good Kurt but I don't have magical powers. If you went to court now, you'd lose. Even this little stunt of Sebastian's doesn't put you two on equal ground. Your husband may be the second coming of Al Capone but he has never been charged with anything. He looks cleaner than you do on paper. You want out of this marriage with your daughter, you are going to have to be smart and be patient."

"Okay," Kurt said softly.

"Yeah that sounded convincing," Santana sighed. "Look Kurt, I don't have the power of Oprah and I can't lead you to lightbulb moment. What I can do is get you a divorce and the best chance of having custody of your daughter-if that's what you want. Is it?"

Kurt closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "Olivia's the most important thing. I just want my daughter."

"Way to dodge the question," Santana sighed. "Look, just sit tight, play nice and convince Sebastian to bring Olivia back to New York. Once she's home we can start working on an exit strategy-if that's what you want. But Kurt-figure out what you want. Once we do this, it's going to be war and let me share a little pearl of Lima Heights wisdom with you: Don't start, won't be none. If there is any part of you that wants to hang onto that man and your marriage, then don't fuck him over again. I may not know Gangster Twink very well but I know him well enough to know that he hoards second chances like a Midas with his gold. Be really sure about what you want because there's not going to be any going back."

"I know," Kurt said. "I know," he repeated softly.

"Just making sure," Santana said gently. "I'll help you Kurt. As your lawyer I'll do everything in my power to make you get the post possible representation-which well, is me. But as your friend, I'm gonna tell you to that if after this you still have doubts about leaving him, you need to cut the crap and get honest. If he can do this and you aren't beating your designer shoe wearing feet to the door, it's because you don't want to leave him. You want this man and you want this marriage."

"Just because you want something doesn't mean it's good for you," Kurt said.

"It's up to you," Santana said. "But for what it's worth, I've known you since elementary school. You've never been afraid to go after what you wanted, even when it looked hopeless, even when it hurt. Don't start now."

Kurt swallowed. "Thanks Santana."

"No thank you, this conversation just earned me this gorgeous Jimmy Choo crystal oval clutch I've had my eye on and at least two great pairs of Louboutins," Santana replied. "Now hang up, erase this call from Frodo's phone-"

"Why do you all talk about him like he's three feet tall," Kurt groused. "Blaine's not that short."

"And Finn's not stupid, you're not a high maintenance drama queen-emphasis on queen, and I'm not a bitch. Any other lies you want to tell yourself before we hang up," Santana interrupted.

"You're not a bitch- you're Lebanese," Kurt snarked.

"Keep talking Porcelain, mama needs several new pairs of shoes."

"Goodbye Santana."

"Goodbye Carmela. Tell Tony I said-"

Kurt hung up and then went to Blaine's call history and erased the call. "Honestly, Blaine it's time to change your password," Kurt grumbled. He then placed the phone on the nightstand and crawled into bed, his conversations with Blaine, Santana and Sebastian swirling around in his head, adding to his worry over Olivia and making it difficult for him to fall asleep.

Kurt was about to give it up as a lost cause when he heard the door creak open and heard footsteps pad across the floor. The bed dipped behind him and then he felt Sebastian's arms slip around him. Kurt felt something loosen in his chest and he relaxed back into the heat of Sebastian's body and finally allowed sleep to claim him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's given a choice to make and what he decides determines whether or not he's reunited with his daughter. Kurt dreams of his past with Sebastian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will contain homophobic slurs, minor drug use, fat shaming, racial stereotyping, and the discussion of the (possible) past emotional abuse of a child. This chapter also contains unflattering but not necessarily accurate remarks about David Karofsky and Santana Lopez. It's not my intention to "bash" these characters; this is Sebastian's POV on them. If you're particularly sensitive about these characters being insulted just be aware that Sebastian is NOT a member of their fan club and the language he uses is NOT sensitive, politically correct or remotely appropriate.

Kurt woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a killer headache. He sat up slowly and as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes the bedroom door opened and Sebastian entered, fully dressed and carrying a breakfast tray.

"Glad you're awake. I didn't want to lose a limb trying to get you up," Sebastian said as he sat the tray on the nightstand. Next to the food there were two white capsules.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked looking back and forth from the tray to Sebastian. He tried to hide his panic when he noticed that Blaine's phone was missing from the bedside table and he prayed that erasing the call history had been enough to cover his tracks.

"Last night was…it fucking terrible, that's what it was. And you always get stress headaches so these will help take care of that while you sleep," Sebastian trailed off as he gestured towards the tray.

"While I sleep," Kurt repeated suspiciously.

"Kurt," Sebastian sighed. "This trust thing is going to take time."

"It's also apparently going to require the abuse of prescription medication," Kurt snapped.

"I'm trying here," Sebastian fired back.

"Yeah, trying to drug me," Kurt hissed. "Are you serious, right now? I cannot believe-"

"I can't trust you to know where we're going, Kurt. We've talked about this before. If you don't know where certain places are-"

"Then I can't ever give away their locations," Kurt sighed. He and Sebastian had been forced to use one of the Smythe's safe houses once, back when Sebastian's father had still been alive and Sebastian had explained to him that the location of some of the family properties and safe houses were on a need to know basis and Kurt didn't need to know. After that conversation Kurt had spent a four hour car ride terrified, blindfolded and with headphones pumping white noise into his ears. Only Sebastian sitting beside him and rubbing soothing circles into his palm had kept a panic attack at bay. "Sebastian, are we in danger? Are we going to a safe house? Is Olivia there-"

"There's no danger and it's technically not a safe house but you've never been there so I'm not comfortable with you knowing where it is. I figured if you slept through the worst of it, it would be easier on everyone," Sebastian said softly. "This isn't to hurt you or to punish you. This is the only way I can think of to protect my interests and take you to our daughter."

"You could just bring her home," Kurt pointed out.

"I could," Sebastian allowed. "But I don't think that would be best right now. Get dressed, eat your breakfast, and take your pills. I instructed the pilot to be ready to go in an hour," Sebastian told Kurt.

"Pilot? Sebastian, how far away-"

Sebastian took a deep breath and kissed Kurt on the forehead. "Kurt, please don't ask me questions that I can't give you the answers to."

Kurt looked up at Sebastian. "You're really taking me to see Olivia?"

Sebastian reached out and ran a gentle hand through Kurt's hair. "You won't have to wait much longer to see our daughter. We'll all be together in a few hours."

Kurt swallowed down a lump of emotion at the thought of being reunited with Olivia and ducked his head to hide the tears that suddenly threatened to fall but Sebastian reached out and gently tilted his chin back up. "Hey, what are those tears, huh?"

"I just, it's only been a few hours but I feel like I haven't been able to breathe since I woke up and she wasn't here," Kurt said softly. "I feel hollow, like part of me just shriveled up and died and I think if I had to go on feeling like this I wouldn't make it, I'd lose myself, I'd lose my mind. And as angry as I am with you, if you hadn't done this I don't think I ever would have been able to understand, even a little bit, what I put you through. It's been more difficult than I ever imagined being separated from her."

Sebastian was silent for a few moments before he spoke. "I told you last night that I can't hurt you without breaking myself and that was the truth. I want to find some way to let go of the past and move on-"

"So do I," Kurt interrupted.

"I have no idea how we're going to do that," Sebastian continued. "I don't even know if we can do that. But I'm willing to try."

"So am I."

"Are you," Sebastian asked quietly.

"I'll do anything for Olivia," Kurt answered him honestly.

Sebastian nodded. "Of that I have no doubt," he said as he rose from the bed. "You're gonna wanna eat before you take these," Sebastian said as he dropped one last chaste kiss on Kurt's cheek before he exited the room.

Kurt exhaled a shuddering breath and tried to calm his racing heartbeat. He didn't have any way to contact Santana and let her know that their plan might be in jeopardy or any assurances that Sebastian was actually going to keep his word and take him to Olivia. For all Kurt knew Sebastian had discovered the phone call, put two and two together and was now going to have him-

No. Kurt shook the thought out of his head. Kurt knew that no matter whatever else he might do, Sebastian wouldn't actually cause him physical harm. He might take Kurt to some foreign country strand him there and then disappear with Olivia but he'd never do anything to injure or endanger Kurt. Sebastian might have wanted to make Kurt suffer and he might have wanted to cause him pain but if he'd had wanted him dead, Kurt knew that by now he would have been so a hundred times over. Whatever else he would do or could do, Sebastian wouldn't do that.

Kurt stared suspiciously at the pills and bit back a curse. If he didn't take them it was a clear sign of mistrust and it might derail any progress he'd made with Sebastian the night before. If he did take them he might wake up a few hours from now in Dubai or Moscow or any point in between, alone and without any resources or assistance.

It was a test and for all Kurt knew getting to his daughter depended on whether or not he passed or failed.

With a shaking hand Kurt picked up his fork and began to eat his eggs.

* * *

"Was this really necessary," Blaine whispered furiously as Sebastian sat next to him filling out a crossword puzzle.

"He picked your pocket-of which you should be ashamed by the way-and called Santana," Sebastian replied calmly. " _Santana_ , who I might remind you, hates the ground I walk on and is even better at practicing law than she is at being a man hating, carpet munching bitch-"

"I cannot imagine why she doesn't find you positively delightful."

"She started it."

"She started-what are you five?"

"No, I'm five and a half."

"Fuck you, Smythe."

"You already have."

"Fuck you sideways."

"Kinky."

"Sebastian!" Blaine hissed. "This isn't…how can you joke right now? You didn't have to drug him, Seb."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yeah, I did. And you know exactly why I did and so does Kurt. He's not stupid, Blaine. It was a test, and he knew it, and he passed."

"You know, I never actually understood the phrase 'beat some sense into you' until right now. I'm almost convinced if I hit you hard enough it might possibly knock loose some common sense," Blaine seethed.

"I'm offended. Both by the implication that I don't know exactly what I'm doing and by your delusion that you could actually take me in a fight," Sebastian replied.

"You think this is funny?"

"I gotta admit the picture of you standing on a tower of milk crates so you can actually reach my face when you swing is rather amusing."

"Sebastian-"

"Blaine," Sebastian sighed. "If you think for five seconds he swiped your phone to call Santana so they could compare notes on the upcoming spring fashions, you're delusional. He called Lezzie the Litigator-"

"Oh my God, she called you a twink _once_ when we were all back in high school. Let it go already."

"Like hell I will," Sebastian vehemently declared. "He called Santana so he could get legal advice. You really think she didn't tell him to make like one of her people and run for the border-"

"In this moment I am reminded of why I hated you back in high school."

"Another Quaalude, you're gonna love me again."

"Do not quote Scarface at me right now. Scarface is for bro time and this is not bro time. Don't violate the sanctity of bro time with inappropriate quotes," Blaine warned. "I'm serious here Sebastian."

"So am I," Sebastian sighed. "Look. Kurt can't know where we're going. So it was either give him the blindfold and headphone treatment, and you know how fond he was of that, or let him go night night until we get where we're going. He had a choice and he chose to take the sleeping pills so get the hell off my back."

"Does he know that you're aware he called Santana."

"Nope."

"Gonna tell him?"

"Nope."

"So you two are still playing games and keeping secrets."

"It would appear that way, yes."

"Sebastian-"

"I am taking him to Olivia. I'm bringing you along so he feels more comfortable and less anxious that this is a set up. I am acting in good faith. I am giving him every opportunity to prove that I can trust him. By the time this visit is over he's either going to tell me that he called her and prove to me that he can be trusted or he's going to keep it a secret and prove to me that he can't."

"And if he can't?"

"Hunter's already got the papers drawn up. I divorce him and file for custody."

"You're gonna take her from him?"

Sebastian glanced at Kurt and shook his head. "I'm going to cover my bases legally, but I would never keep him from her. I couldn't do that to her and I couldn't do that to him."

"He's not going to see it that way. All he's going to see is that you're trying to take his daughter," Blaine pointed out.

"She's my daughter too," Sebastian returned. "And none of this even happens if he comes clean."

"And what if he does? Are you going to tell him that you knew? That this whole thing is a set up? Or is Kurt the only one of you that gets punished for keeping secrets and telling lies?"

Sebastian glanced back at Kurt and then unfolded his crossword puzzle. "I need a five letter word for reliance."

Blaine looked meaningfully at a sleeping Kurt before he answered Sebastian. "Trust."

* * *

" _Why are you in such a rush, late for your mercy date with the closet case? Gonna hold his hand and sing a song to help him find the rainbow bridge over all his rage issues?" Sebastian asked intercepting Kurt as he walked across the parking lot of the restaurant._

" _It is not a date mercy or otherwise and David isn't a closet case. He's come a long way with things and he just needs-"_

" _What David needs is for the guy that he's unhealthily fixated on to cut him loose before dear old Dave completely goes around the bend and starts boiling bunnies and demanding not to be ignored," Sebastian interrupted._

" _David is not unhealthily fixated on me and-"_

" _Did he or did he not verbally abuse and physically assault you multiple times because you were letting your rainbow colored freak flag fly while he was next to R. Kelly trapped in the closet having Turkish delight with the White Witch?" Sebastian asked._

" _Your heart really is as small and black as a lump of coal, isn't it?"_

" _Better to have a lack of empathy and people think you cold than to have too much and people mistake your kindness for weakness," Sebastian returned._

" _Why are you are here," Kurt sighed._

" _Blaine told me that Baby Bear convinced you to break bread with him. I'm here to save you from yourself," Sebastian announced. "Your incessant need to always be the better person is going to cause you to walk into Breadsticks and then you're gonna end up having a barely edible meal with a guy that you have never been and will never be interested in, making you uncomfortable and giving him false hope."_

" _And standing him up and leaving here with you, someone who has never done anything but insult and belittle me is the healthy alternative?" Kurt questioned._

" _Oh come on, Kurt. We buried the hatchet ages ago-"_

" _You walking up to me in the Lima Bean and telling me that you've grown accustomed to my gay face is not burying the hatchet, Sebastian."_

" _You're the one who used to hum the theme song to Mr. Ed and yell 'Whoa Nelly' every time you saw me."_

" _If the saddle fits," Kurt shrugged._

" _Point is, that was months ago and it was mutual combat. Lately, our interactions have been much more enjoyable, wouldn't you say?" Sebastian asked huskily._

" _Yes, they had been. Right up until last weekend when you got me drunk at Scandals and then groped me in the bathroom," Kurt said flatly._

" _You liked it," Sebastian smiled._

" _I was drunk!"_

" _You were tipsy, not drunk and you liked it. You groped back."_

" _That was a reflex and it… might not have been completely terrible I admit."_

" _You like me."_

" _Your presence no longer makes me break out into a rash but that doesn't mean-"_

" _You like me more than you like Baby Huey in there."_

" _Must you be such an ass? Why do you have to talk about people like that and why are you playing games with me, Sebastian?"_

" _I'm sorry if pointing out his morbid obesity is somehow offensive to your sensibilities-"_

" _Sebastian!"_

" _But I'm not playing games with you. I like you, you like me, why not take it to the next level?"_

_Kurt cocked his head to the side and surveyed Sebastian. "One, I have yet to admit to actually liking you. And two, what is this next level of which you speak?"_

" _Dinner, dancing, whatever happens next," Sebastian answered, sliding into Kurt's personal space. "You know you want to."_

" _I have a dinner companion waiting for me as we speak and I refuse to stand him up so that I can end up in Sebastian Smythe's little black book of past hook ups and future shame," Kurt said as he moved to walk around Sebastian._

" _You standing up your dinner date, and I use the term date loosely, would be the equivalent of a mercy killing," Sebastian maintained. "Pull the trigger and put the guy out of his misery, already. Next excuse."_

" _Going after me isn't going to score you any points with Blaine," Kurt advised Sebastian. "He's not going to suddenly get jealous and decide he wants to be with you."_

" _If I wanted Blaine, I'd be asking him to dinner, not you. Next."_

" _You're trouble," Kurt said biting his lip. "You're a walking cliché. Every bad boy from every movie I've ever seen all rolled into one. I keep thinking that there's more to you than the jackass you are on the surface and every so often you prove me right. And then I want to know more, and I cut you slack that you don't deserve and I let you into places that I shouldn't and that makes you dangerous."_

" _You had safe and secure with Blaine and you're the one who called it quits," Sebastian said, crowding Kurt back up against his car. "I think you need something else, something that blazes a little brighter and burns a little hotter maybe? Choice is yours, Kurt. You can go in there, smile sweetly, choke down a few dry breadsticks and make polite conversation with a guy who does absolutely nothing for you, or you can leave here with me and take a chance on a guy who might be able to give you all the things you never knew you wanted. It's up to you, so you tell me: Do you have room for a little danger in your life?"_

* * *

" _Mr. Smythe, it's been awhile," the Maître d' said as he showed the duo to their seats._

" _I've been busy Henri," Sebastian replied airily._

" _Do you require anything special for the evening?"_

_Sebastian gave Kurt a heated look. "No, I have everything I need right here."_

_Kurt looked around the restaurant in awe and then turned back to Sebastian. "What is this place? I've lived in this area my whole life and I've never heard of it."_

" _You wouldn't have," Sebastian said. "As for what it is, what does it look like?"_

" _It looks like something out of an old movie," Kurt said with a grin. "What's it even called? There's no name on the door."_

" _It doesn't need one."_

" _Then how do they get any business?"_

" _If you don't know this place exists it's because you don't belong here," Sebastian said unrolling his napkin._

" _So, it's like a private club?"_

" _You could say that."_

" _So how do you qualify for membership?"_

" _You go into the family business."_

* * *

You give me your lips and your lips are so heavenly,  
Stars in the sky are all free and they shine for me,  
So does the moon in the blue,  


You give me your arms and your arms are like angel wings,  
Sweet to my ears is the song every bluebird sings,  
Each rosebud kissed by the dew,  
All this is mine and heaven too.

" _I love dancing with you," Kurt sighed as he rested his head on Sebastian's shoulder._

_Sebastian smiled at Kurt. "You bring a love so divine, all this is mine and heaven too," Sebastian sang softly. He cupped Kurt's face in his hands and kissed him, biting gently on his bottom lip before licking into his mouth. His hands tightened on Kurt's hips and he pulled them closer together, kissing Kurt until they were both breathless._

" _That's a perfect first kiss if there ever was one," Kurt sighed._

" _Despite your insistence on acting like a virgin queen, I feel like I should point that we have already kissed."_

_Kurt narrowed his eyes. "I refuse to count a vodka soaked romp in the back of my Navigator as our first kiss. If anyone asked our first kiss was at our special place, after you spun me around the dance floor and serenaded me with Sinatra. Got it, Smythe?"_

" _Whatever you say Hummel," Sebastian agreed before he kissed Kurt again._

* * *

" _Okay, so you kicked my ass at Scrabble, but why don't we play a gentleman's game now?"_

" _What game?" Kurt asked._

" _Backgammon," Sebastian said._

" _Is this by chance a betting game?" Kurt asked suspiciously._

" _It can be," Sebastian answered._

" _Well then I'm sure you'll cheat," Kurt declared._

" _I give you my word that I will not cheat you," Sebastian said, holding one hand over his heart. "Until you try to cheat me," he added slyly._

" _I'm offended you would even imply such a thing," Kurt said, leaning over the coffee table to kiss Sebastian. "But I'm warning you: I play to win."_

" _That's one of the things I like most about you."_

* * *

" _Did you mean it when you told me that you've never felt for anyone else the way you feel about me?"_

" _Yes," Sebastian replied immediately. "When it comes to you, angel I just can't help myself."_

" _Bas I'm not," Kurt said shaking his head. "I'm not an angel. I've done a lot of things and said a lot of things that I shouldn't have, things that I'm not proud of and I've made a lot of mistakes and I've hurt people."_

" _It's safe to say we both have flaws," Sebastian said, slipping his arms around Kurt's waist._

" _Sebastian-"_

" _You're not the only one who's made mistakes Kurt," Sebastian said, nuzzling Kurt's neck. "One mistake that I keep making over and over again has to with trust. I don't trust myself and I don't trust anybody else so I can't invest and I just wake up lonely. And now that I have you, I want so much to do something different, to be someone different. I want to trust you. I want to take the things you say to me at face value and not keep looking for the loophole or double cross. From this moment on I just want to look forward, move forward, with you. I trust you."_

" _I trust you too, Bas. And you can trust me, you can. I won't use it against you or use it to hurt you," Kurt promised, sliding his palms up Sebastian's torso and over his chest._

" _I want you to know that this is different," Sebastian said, slowly undoing the buttons on Kurt's shirt. "What's about to happen here, between us, it's different for me. It's important. You're important. And tomorrow when the sun comes up you'll still be important."_

" _You won't ever have to wake up lonely again," Kurt vowed taking Sebastian's hand and leading him over to the bed._

* * *

" _Look, Sebastian a lot of people have less than idyllic families. I know that I lucked out with my dad and then again with Carole but that doesn't mean I can't empathize. Blaine's family wasn't exactly the Brady Bunch and Finn had a really rough go of it before our parents got married too."_

" _Good for them. They deal with it their way and I'll deal with it mine."_

" _Why can't you just talk to me about it, why can't you trust me enough to let me in, to let me help?"_

" _I trust you as much as I know how," Sebastian exploded._

" _Just tell me what your family is like! Tell me what your dad is like? What it was like growing up with Alexander Smythe for a father?" Kurt pushed._

" _It was the best of times and it was the worst of times," Sebastian quipped._

" _Sebastian!"_

" _That's as close to the truth as I can get," Sebastian sighed. "I love my father, Kurt. I love him a lot. He has given me everything that a man can give his son. He has laid the world at my feet and I know that he would do anything, risk anything for me."_

" _That doesn't sound so bad, Bas."_

" _But he's a perfectionist. Your home is a democracy, Kurt. Your dad tells you to do something you disagree with; the two of you sit down and talk it out. My father is a dictator," Sebastian explained. "He is not to be questioned or defied. Everything is the way he wants it, how he wants it and God help the poor bastard who gets it wrong. He has a short fuse and when it's lit, all hell breaks loose. You don't get a chance to prepare for it or defend yourself; all you can do is hold tight and wait for it to blow over."_

" _How short of a fuse are we talking?" Kurt asked, curling into Sebastian's side and wrapping an arm around his waist._

" _He's not abusive. He's never laid a hand on me."_

" _There's more than one way to abuse someone Sebastian," Kurt pointed out gently._

" _I know that," Sebastian replied. "But he's not abusive. He's a hard man though, Kurt. He can take words and twist them and throw them right back at you and it doesn't matter how right you are, he's going to make you wrong. And sometimes…sometimes he makes me feel so stupid, you know," Sebastian confessed quietly. "I want nothing more than to make him proud of me. I know you think this drive I have, this need I have to be the best is arrogance and yeah, some of it is but a lot of it just…I need him to be proud of me."_

" _I'm sure he is," Kurt said, pulling Sebastian into his arms. "How could he not be? You're amazing. You're so talented and so smart and even though you try your best to keep it under lock and key you have the biggest heart. Anyone would be proud to have you as their son."_

" _Careful or I just might get a big head," Sebastian warned._

" _Just this once I'll let it slide," Kurt promised._

" _I know I can be cruel," Sebastian admitted._

" _Yeah you can be," Kurt acknowledged. "But so can I."_

" _No," Sebastian argued. "You can be biting. You can be sarcastic and you can use words as a weapon but you lack the killer instinct for true cruelty. The same can't be said for me. Do you remember when you told you didn't like me? Do you remember the things I said to you?" At Kurt's nod Sebastian continued. "You came at me with words and you made me feel inadequate and when people make me feel that way, I don't think I just react. And I hear his voice. I hear his derision and his disdain and his inability to show mercy in the face of weakness except this time, it's coming out of my own mouth and no matter how much I hate it, I can't stop it. So when you came me that day, when Santana came at me in the Lima Bean, whenever anyone puts me on the defensive, Kurt I don't know any other way to fight back so I just unload."_

" _I'm sorry," Kurt whispered. "I know that I have a tendency to forget that other people's struggles are every bit as valid as my own and if anyone should be able to recognize someone putting up a protective front it's me. There's a reason Santana calls me Ice Queen. I just…you were going after Blaine and I never even thought-"_

" _No baby, no," Sebastian whispered, wiping the tears off of Kurt's cheeks. "You don't owe me an apology. I was an ass to you and you had every right to defend yourself."_

" _Still, I was pretty awful."_

" _No more so than I deserved."_

" _Thank you for telling me this," Kurt said softly. "I know it wasn't easy. I just want to know who you are, I just want to be a part your life, a real part of your life and I don't want you to feel like you need to hide anything from me."_

" _Is that an ultimatum?"_

" _No," Kurt shook his head. "I'm here. I'm right here and I'm yours and you don't have to test me."_

_Sebastian took Kurt's face in his hands. "Don't I?" he asked gently. "Sometimes I look at you and I can't believe you're real. I wonder what an angel like you is doing with a demon like me."_

" _You're not-"_

" _I have a list of people who would beg to differ," Sebastian cut Kurt off._

" _They don't matter," Kurt declared. "They're stupid and they don't matter. You're not nearly as terrible as you pretend to be and there is nowhere else I'd rather be and no one else I'd rather be with."_

" _I want to make you happy," Sebastian murmured, kissing Kurt softly. "I want to adore you. I never, ever want you to be afraid of me."_

" _Why would I ever-"_

_Sebastian cut Kurt off with a kiss._

* * *

" _You kidnapped me."_

" _Most people would consider a Caribbean vacation a gift."_

" _Most people don't have midterms to study for and-"_

" _You needed a break. And I needed you," Sebastian said as he took Kurt in his arms and kissed him softly._

" _The next time you kidnap me, I won't settle for anything less than Paris in the springtime."_

" _The demands of my captive have been duly noted."_

* * *

" _I'm glad you could find time to meet me for coffee," Sebastian said, holding open the door to the coffee shop for Kurt._

" _Even future Broadway sensations like me need to take a little personal time every now and again," Kurt said as he made his way to a table. "I swear Crazy Cassie has seriously gone off the deep end. I thought Vocal Adrenaline was hard core; Cassandra July makes Shelby Corcoran look like Glinda the Good Witch."_

_Sebastian started to answer and then looked over Kurt's shoulder and his entire face hardened. "You need to go now," he said, grabbing Kurt's arm and dragging him up out of his seat._

" _Excuse me," Kurt squawked as he tried to pull free. "You invited me. I skipped out on Cassie's practice to come meet you and now you're-"_

" _You're in danger and you need to go now," Sebastian hissed, hauling Kurt across the coffee shop and out the door._

" _Meet me at the park, by the carousels. If I'm not there in twenty minutes, call Blaine to come get you and then call my father," Sebastian instructed Kurt._

" _Sebastian what the hell-"_

" _You need to get out of here now, Kurt. You need to go so you're not part of this."_

" _Part of what? What is so cloak and dagger about afternoon coffee?"_

" _For fucks sake Kurt, will you stop arguing and just meet me in the park?"_

" _Oh it isn't safe for me to grab a non-fat mocha with my boyfriend here at Toby's but it's perfectly safe for me to hang around the park waiting for you alone?" Kurt asked incredulously._

" _It'll be far safer for you to wait for me, I promise. Kurt please."_

" _Only because I know how much you hate to say please," Kurt sniffed. "But don't expect for me to wait forever and you better show up with my mocha," Kurt threatened before he stormed off._

_Ten minutes later Sebastian snuck up behind Kurt, tapped him on the shoulder and ended up flat on his ass for his troubles._

" _Oh my God Sebastian, what is wrong with you?" Kurt yelled as he glared down at his boyfriend._

" _What's wrong with me," Sebastian asked, picking himself up off the ground. "I'm the one who was just assaulted Jackie Chan."_

" _I told you before that just because I don't fight doesn't mean I can't and you're laughing?_ _You think this is funny?" Kurt demanded._

" _Not even a little bit, babe."_

" _Then stop smiling," Kurt ordered._

" _I will try," Sebastian said grin plastered across his face._

" _Oh don't even think about trying to cute your way out of this," Kurt warned Sebastian. "I nearly crawled out my skin waiting here for you and then I heard sirens coming from the other end of the park and I thought maybe you were shot in some sort of hostage situation or something or that you'd borrowed money from some shady loan shark and they had taken you out behind the building and knee capped you and now they were coming after me to eliminate the witness and oh my God, you're laughing at me. You're laughing at me," Kurt yelled. "That is completely unacceptable! You…you…just…I can't even…what the hell is going on, Sebastian!"_

" _I saw one of my father's business associates at Toby's. Dad is currently in the middle of a hostile takeover of this guy's assets and he's not happy about it. He knows who I am and he's a little unhinged. I didn't want you in the middle. That's all. You were in danger at Toby's-"_

" _I don't do danger," Kurt interrupted. "I may have neglected to bring it up before but now is a really good time for me to mention that Kurt Hummel does not do danger. I do room service. I do aromatherapy. I do hot yoga and a night on the town. I occasionally will do blackmail and perhaps indulge in an act of sabotage or two but I don't do anything mmfph-"_

_Sebastian's kiss cut Kurt's rant short._

" _That's not going to work," Kurt said breathlessly when they broke apart. "You're going to tell me why a business deal of Alexander's puts me, or anyone else, in danger."_

" _It doesn't," Sebastian shrugged. "You're not in danger anymore."_

" _What kind of answer is that?"_

" _The only one I can give you," Sebastian sighed. "C'mon. You made me drop your coffee when you dumped me on my ass. Let's go get you another one."_

* * *

" _Don't be scared."_

" _Don't be scared," Kurt squeaked. "Sebastian, five minutes ago your father was some big shot businessman and now you're sitting here telling me that he's Michael Corleone."_

" _My father is the same man he was five minutes ago, the only difference is now you know exactly what business he's in," Sebastian maintained. "And make no mistake; This is a business, Kurt. The man with the briefcase can steal more money than the man with the gun."_

" _Are you kidding me right now? You're quoting the Godfather at me right now? Right now? Do you think this is funny? You think this is some kind of joke?" Kurt screamed._

" _It's not funny," Sebastian yelled back. "And it's not a joke. This is my life, Kurt. This is my family, this is my birthright, this is my legacy and if you want me, then this is what comes with me."_

_Kurt swallowed hard. "You should have told me before."_

" _I didn't trust you before," Sebastian explained quietly. "This is me trusting you with the darkest part of who I am."_

" _No," Kurt said. "This is you trying to make it okay that you lied to me. You lied to me. How can you talk to me about trust and keep this kind of a secret from me?"_

" _I will always do what needs to be done to protect my family," Sebastian defended himself._

" _Where does that leave me?"_

" _Wherever you choose to be. You can walk out that door now and I swear no one will ever bother you and you won't hear from me. But if you stay, then you need to know-"_

" _No I don't," Kurt cut Sebastian off. "All I need to know is that I love you and you love me. The rest is…it doesn't matter."_

" _Kurt, this isn't a trashy tv movie. There are things about this life and this business that you need to know-"_

" _I don't care," Kurt said forcefully. "I don't want to know any…details. I love you and your father's business is his life, not yours."_

" _It will be one day."_

" _Well today is not that day," Kurt said decisively. "Today you're just another student at NYU with a boyfriend far more fashionable and fabulous than you deserve. Alexander Smythe has been your father all this time and it hasn't mattered before so I won't let it matter now."_

" _Kurt, it has mattered. You've just never been aware-"_

" _Then keep it that way," Kurt insisted. "I will trust you to keep me safe if you'll trust me to keep you happy."_

" _Kurt-"_

" _Bas, please."_

_Sebastian closed his eyes and drew Kurt into the circle of his arms. "Okay."_

* * *

" _Hey," Kurt said coming into the room and putting his hands over Sebastian's. "You don't have to do that. I'm sure we can find someone to fix the flower arrangements."_

" _Everyone here is incompetent," Sebastian snapped, pulling away from Kurt. "Every single one of these things is wrong. The color combinations, the way they're arranged, it's a fucking disgrace. I want to know where they came from so I can bankrupt the inept florist who had the nerve to send this wretched piece of trash to my father's house on a day like today," Sebastian yelled hurling the vase into the wall._

" _Shh, Bas, baby it's okay," Kurt said, wrapping Sebastian up in a tight hug. "Tell what you need."_

" _I need this day to be over," Sebastian whispered. "All those people out there, they keep going on and on about how much they loved him, how much they respected him, how much he meant to them and they all have some stupid personal memory of him that they want to share, like it makes it the same, like it makes us even."_

" _It doesn't," Kurt murmured._

" _No, no it doesn't," Sebastian agreed. "And you know that, you know that better than anybody out there. You're the only one who knows. 'Cause you lost your mom and now I've lost my dad and these people keep coming up to me wanting to share, as if they could. He wasn't their father; he was mine. He was mine, and he was Christian's, and now he's gone and it's like he took it all with him. Every single one of the autographed jersey's framed up in my bedroom, the Model T we rebuilt from the frame up out in the garage, the family vacation where I shoved my cousin Marc in the lake and then Dad pushed me in after him and told me to remember when I'm picking on the little guy there's always someone bigger and badder than I am waiting to pick on me, all of it is my dad and it's all I have left and everyone keeps telling me they're sorry for my loss but they have no idea. If they did they wouldn't say they were sorry for my loss because I didn't lose my father. He was taken from me. He was taken from me, Kurt and I swear to God I will never, ever let anyone take someone I love away from me again," Sebastian vowed before he broke down._

_Kurt blinked back his own tears and held Sebastian close as he cried._

* * *

" _I don't know what you want from me!" Sebastian shouted._

" _I want you to stop keeping me at arm's length! I want for it not to take a death in the family or a ten round emotional boxing match for you to let me in and tell me how you feel!" Kurt yelled back._

" _Kurt, I have told you before. I have a lot of issues with trust and I am the first to admit that I am maybe a little too fanatical about maintaining my privacy and letting you get to-"_

" _Close?" Kurt questioned. "To intimate? Sebastian, after everything we've been through how can you still have these hang ups? What are you waiting for? What do I have to do or say to get you understand that I'm not going anywhere? What are you a robot? Is there ice water running through your veins or are you just so damn scared that you-"_

" _Excuse me? Who said anything about being scared?" Sebastian interrupted, swallowing hard and refusing to make eye contact with Kurt._

" _Oh," Kurt said softly. "I see. I never even considered that you might be scared. I've watched you walk into a room full of your father's business associates and tell them you were taking over and you didn't even blink. I was terrified for you but you didn't even break a sweat. I've seen you get threatened with prison time by FBI agents and you don't even flinch. Sebastian you are so courageous and so fearless that it never even occurred to me…baby, are you scared of me? Are you afraid of us?"_

" _I can't do…I ca-I can..I don't wanna…I can't handle this," Sebastian said, turning way from Kurt and heading toward the bar to make himself a drink._

" _Bas, it's okay," Kurt said taking the glass out of Sebastian's trembling hands. "It's okay to be scared of us. I'm scared of us, I am."_

" _Yeah well, you should be. If you weren't scared to tie yourself to a guy like me you'd be insane," Sebastian snapped._

" _Maybe it is insanity," Kurt admitted softly. "But when I'm with you and you have your arms around me I forget to be scared because all I can think about is how much I love you. If I didn't love you so much Bas it wouldn't hurt me so badly that you never say it back."_

" _I don't wanna hurt you, I'm not trying to hurt you," Sebastian said, taking both of Kurt's hands in his._

" _I believe you," Kurt said gently. "But that doesn't make it hurt any less. I have given you everything Bas, can't you give me this?"_

" _Kurt," Sebastian said helplessly._

" _I've spent my whole life chasing dreams," Kurt said softly. "And the thing about being a dreamer is that you have to learn when to accept that some dreams just aren't meant to be. And maybe we're not meant to be. I can't keep doing this to myself, giving every bit of who I am to you and only getting pieces of you in return. I don't want to let you go but this is all or nothing for me and I'd rather have none of you than to know there are parts of you that you just won't let me have," Kurt whispered before kissing Sebastian's cheek and turning to leave._

" _Wait," Sebastian said, reaching out and snagging Kurt around the wrist. "I can't just…I can't just let you go."_

" _Bas, I need you to be sure because I can't keep doing this and-"_

" _I'm sure. I can't let you walk out of here, not like this. I can't let you walk out of my life at all."_

" _Are you saying that you want to share everything with me? Because that's what I'm asking you for," Kurt said._

_Sebastian clenched his jaw and shook his head. "Kurt… just…with you, okay? Just with you. I'll find a way, I'll figure this out."_

_Kurt gave Sebastian a watery smile and then stepped into his arms. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"_

" _I know," Sebastian whispered._

_Kurt burst into hysterical giggles. "Oh my God, you really can't say it, can you?"_

" _It's very insensitive to laugh at my stunted emotional growth," Sebastian grumbled._

_Kurt laughed harder. "Yuck it up, Hummel," Sebastian chuckled. "But just remember it's like I've told you a million times before it's not the words, it's the actions that count. And I'm going to spend every day of the rest of my life proving to you that you have all of me."_

" _Yeah, but come on Sebastian. Sometimes some words count a little more than others and that, right then, was as perfect a set up as you're ever going to get and you blew it. If this were a play, you'd have gotten boo'd off the stage."_

" _Kurt…"_

" _It's okay," Kurt soothed. "This right here, you holding me? You trying to meet me halfway? This is enough for me right now."_

" _You deserve more," Sebastian said kissing Kurt on the forehead._

" _One day you'll be able to give me more," Kurt said confidently._

" _Kurt…I…you have to know that I…you are the most important person in the world to me and I just…I can't…I want," Sebastian struggled._

" _Shh," Kurt soothed him. "I'm right here. You can tell me anything and I'm still going to be right here. I'm not going to leave you or betray you or break your heart or violate your trust and I'll always be right here because I lo-"_

" _I l-love you," Sebastian stuttered out interrupting Kurt. "I do, I l…I love you."_

_Kurt kissed Sebastian gently before taking his shaking form in his arms. "I know," he whispered. "And I love you right back."_

* * *

" _I never made a decision, Kurt! There was never a choice, here. I love you. I love you! And the truth is no matter how many textbooks you throw at my head or doors you slam off the hinges, the reality is you're here because you love me too."_

" _No, I'm here because we're both certifiable-"_

" _I have the talking stick, you can't interrupt," Sebastian said, waving the rainbow colored baton in the air. "Those are the rules."  
_

" _Whose stupid idea was that damn stick?" Kurt groused._

" _Yours," Sebastian reminded him gleefully. "Now, as I was saying, I love you. I want you. And I realize that I should have talked to you about the guards before they just showed up-"_

" _Yes you should have."_

" _You have no respect for the talking stick."_

" _You can take that stick and shove it up your-"_

" _Ah, ah, ah," Sebastian chided. "You have to wait your turn." Sebastian's smile slid off his face and he turned serious. "I get that you're upset. But I would rather have you alive and resenting me than dead and gone."_

_Kurt sighed. "Do they have to be so large and looming?"_

" _That's how they make their money, honey."_

" _Fine," Kurt said. "But in the future you talk to me before you do things like this. I'm your partner, Bas. You don't get to make decisions for me, you make them with me."_

" _Even though you don't have the talking stick, you make a valid point. I promise that in the future I'll discuss things like this with you first."_

* * *

" _What did you even drag him in for, walking in a bicycle lane?" Kurt spat at the NYPD detective in front of him._

" _Obstructing a government administration, also known as fleeing the scene of a crime," the officer smugly informed Kurt._

" _What crime?" Kurt demanded._

" _Kurt baby, it's okay. Just-"_

" _It's not okay," Kurt argued. "They dragged you in here like you're some sort of common criminal and I want to know what crime they think they're going to question you about!"_

" _The same one you're going to be questioned about Mr. Hummel, the trafficking of a controlled substance."_

" _Since when are designer scarves a controlled substance," Kurt demanded._

" _When they're used as packing for narcotics," the detective fired back._

" _Did you find narcotics in my boutique?" Kurt asked icily._

" _The search is still ongoing-"_

" _Then that would be a no," Kurt announced cutting him off. "So here's what's going to happen, Detective…Collins. You're going to get up out of my face because I've already called Sebastian's attorney and any minute now Hunter Clarington is going to walk through that door and I'm going to tell him how you tried to intimidate me into giving a statement and how you tried to question Sebastian without giving him access to counsel despite both of our repeated requests for representation. Then we're going to sue this department and you personally for every red cent that you don't have," Kurt said lowly. "I'm going to make it my mission to personally see to it that the judgment against you is so astronomical your grandchildren will be in debt to ours."_

" _Aren't you just the perfect little mob moll," Detective Collins sneered. "How much did it cost him to buy all that loyalty, get into those tight pants of yours?"_

" _You might want to shut your mouth Detective," Sebastian growled. "Before someone decides to shut it for you. Permanently."_

" _Was that a threat Smythe?"_

" _Sounded like friendly advice to me," Kurt answered._

_Before Collins could answer Hunter stormed into the police station. "Have you gentlemen already concocted a set of charges or am I interrupting your corrupt brainstorming session? Doesn't matter, I'd like to speak to my clients now," Hunter fumed._

" _You've only got one client here, Clarington. Smythe's all yours but Fancy Pants here-"_

" _Mr. Hummel is a valued client of Clarington, Crane and Kinder and has been so for a number of years now. Don't hurt yourself trying to wrap your tiny little brain around the fact that what whatever files you have on me and my clients are woefully incomplete because I need you to harness all your brainpower, inadequate as it may be, and listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth: I want my clients released immediately."_

" _You're in the middle of a police station Clarington, there's no jury for you to grandstand in front of and-"_

" _I'm sorry did I give you the impression that was the beginning of a negotiation?" Hunter asked, as he stared down Collins. "My apologies. That wasn't a request and it wasn't an opening statement. It was directive. When I say I want my clients released immediately what I mean is now, right now, before I lose my patience and get litigious."_

" _We have probable cause-"_

" _Which is?"_

" _Mr. Smythe fled the premises seconds before the raid-"_

" _And he was identified by whom?"_

" _The sales associate on the floor. We caught up with him a couple of blocks down, he was breathless and obviously in flight-"_

" _And were there any witnesses to this alleged flight?"_

" _Yeah," Detective Collins said, shooting Hunter a cocky grin. "A waitress at the coffeehouse across the street-"_

" _I'm assuming you're referring to Carmen Jenson," Hunter said with a smile._

" _How do you know that-"_

" _And since you are, in fact, referring to Ms. Jenson the question then becomes is she willing to testify in court, under oath, that she saw either of my clients with illegal substances?" Hunter pressed._

" _Well-"_

" _As I have already spoken with and secured a sworn statement from Ms. Jenson, I know the answer to that is no," Hunter cut Collins off._

" _We're searching-"_

" _You have no witnesses, you have no drugs, you have no cause for search, you have one, count them Detective Collins," Hunter said, shooting Collins the bird, "One unsubstantiated anonymous tip. Neither one of my clients was at the scene and yet Mr. Smythe has been arrested and Mr. Hummel has been detained. Now if I weren't so outraged on behalf of my clients I'd be embarrassed for you and embarrassed for the entire NYPD. Unless of course you all intended to look like the second coming of the Keystone Cops."_

" _If Smythe wasn't hiding anything explain to me why he ran," Collins challenged._

" _There's no proof that he did in fact run," Hunter returned evenly. "Now unless you've got something more than the fact that you picked up my client nearly two blocks away from the scene of the alleged crime with no illegal weapons or narcotics on his person, you're going to want to release Mr. Smythe or I'm going to call my associate who is waiting by the phone with baited breath to file the paperwork for a multi-million dollar lawsuit of which you will be named as a principal party."_

_Collins glared at Hunter for a full minute before grudgingly agreeing to release Sebastian._

* * *

_Sebastian knocked on Blaine's door and waited patiently._

" _How did I know I'd find you here," he grinned as soon as it swung open to reveal Kurt on the other side._

_Kurt slammed the door shut in his face._

" _What do you want Sebastian?" Kurt yelled from inside the apartment._

" _I do have neighbors," Blaine reminded Kurt as he made his way into the kitchen for a cup of coffee._

" _I don't want to see you!" Kurt yelled ignoring Blaine. "Go home, Sebastian."_

" _Well I want to see you," Sebastian yelled back. "I want to see you every day for the rest of my life so we should just do this marriage thing already."_

_The door swung open and a furious Kurt leveled a look of pure venom at Sebastian._

" _Are you serious? Did you just propose to me? Why would you propose to me right now, this second, when I loathe you? Are you high? Have you started taking some experimental medication where one of the side effects is ill timed, spontaneous, delusional bouts of insanity?" Kurt seethed._

"I am c _ompletely lucid, drug free and you know you want to marry me so-"_

_Kurt slammed the door in Sebastian's face._

" _Annie Hall or The War of the Roses?" Blaine sighed, holding up the DVD's._

* * *

" _Am I forgiven?"_

_Kurt looked around at the elaborate roof top dinner that Sebastian had orchestrated and smiled. There were rose petals covering every inch of the ground, hundreds of candles and twinkling tea lights, soft music, a gourmet dinner and a breathtaking view of the Manhattan skyline were the final pieces for the completed romantic puzzle._

" _You're forgiven," Kurt said magnanimously._

" _May I have this dance?" Sebastian asked, as he stood and held out his hand to Kurt._

" _Yes you may," Kurt smiled, as he took Sebastian's hand and allowed the other man to pull him to his feet._

" _Even though I probably never would have believed it if someone had told me when we first met that I'd fall for you, I think we were meant to end up here," Kurt murmured._

" _Even back then we had a connection," Sebastian told him._

_Kurt snorted._

" _I didn't say it was a good thing," Sebastian laughed. "I'm just saying that whether we've loved each other or hated each other, we've never been indifferent."_

" _I think indifference is the one emotion we've never quite managed to master," Kurt agreed._

" _That's because everything about us is passion and fire. We burn hot, we run cold but we're a force to be reckoned with. This thing with you has been more than I ever thought I'd have with anyone and I just want more," Sebastian said._

" _Good thing I don't plan on going anywhere then," Kurt teased._

" _How about we make that official?" Sebastian asked, stepping back and dropping to one knee._

" _Sebastian…" Kurt whispered._

" _I know the last time I tried this it wasn't exactly the proposal of your dreams," Sebastian started._

" _That is an understatement," Kurt glared._

" _But I'm a man who learns from my mistakes, so here this is me, learning. Cause that's what I've been doing for our entire relationship. I've learned everything I know about how to love someone from you. I know I make fun of you a lot for being such a sappy romantic, but the truth is you were right when you told me that true love changes you. Because you've changed me, Kurt. You've made me a better man. You've taught me how to be honest, how to be kind, how to trust and how to give and receive love. I love you so much I carry it in my bones. I want to give you all the love I have to give every day for the rest of my life. The idea of not having you in my life, by my side is inconceivable to me. Any kind of a future without you in it is inconceivable to me. It's like the sun going down and never coming back up again. It's dark and it's wrong and it's unnatural. I don't want that Kurt; I don't want to be in the dark. I want you; I want you today, and tomorrow and forever. And I'm pretty sure you want me back. Marry me, Kurt. Be my husband, be my light. Marry me," Sebastian finished, pulling a platinum band from his pocket._

" _Yes," Kurt gasped out, laughing and crying. "I'll marry you but only if you promise that you won't let Blaine help you write your vows because I can smell him all over that proposal," Kurt giggled as Sebastian slipped the ring onto his finger._

" _I told him that whole bit about you being my light was going too far," Sebastian grumbled._

" _I'm like the sun," Kurt mocked. "Without me your world is dark and cold and unnatural," he teased._

" _That's it, give me the ring back," Sebastian said, grabbing Kurt's hand._

" _No! We needs it, must have the precious," Kurt said, snatching his hand back._

" _Oh God you're a lunatic," Sebastian laughed._

" _But I'm your lunatic," Kurt said, holding him close._

" _Yeah you are," Sebastian agreed. "Dance with me?"_

_As they danced Sebastian drew Kurt close to him and sang along with the music, "You bring a love so divine, all this is mine and heaven too."_

* * *

" _What kind of best friend are you? How could you let me do this?" Kurt demanded, glaring at Blaine accusingly._

" _I'm the kind of best friend that only wants to see you happy," Blaine replied. "And no one 'lets' you do anything Kurt; you do exactly what you want and to hell with what anyone else thinks."_

" _Well that's a horrible character trait," Kurt huffed. "Blaine, Blaine I can't do this. We're too young, I drive Sebastian crazy half the time and the other half of the time he's driving me crazy, there's a room full of people down there that I am fairly certain are packing heat and-"_

" _Kurt breathe, just breathe," Blaine soothed, rubbing circles into Kurt's lower back. "None of that matters. What matters is that Sebastian makes you happy. You're just nervous right now and that's okay. That's normal, it's perfectly normal but it's no reason for you to turn this into a Julia Roberts movie and pull a runner."_

" _I can't do this," Kurt said, grabbing onto Blaine. "I can't be someone's husband. I can't give Sebastian what he deserves so just…you're my best friend. You're my best friend and even though officially you're Sebastian's best man you're my best friend and it's your duty to get me out of here. I'd ask Finn but he has all the subtly of a rock through a window. So come on, Blaine. Just get me out of here. I'll go anywhere and I promise I'll stay put and I won't complain."_

" _No you won't," Blaine snorted._

" _Okay fine, I won't." Kurt admitted._

" _Now tell me what's going on here," Blaine prodded gently._

" _Sebastian doesn't want this," Kurt said. "He's never been the whole marriage and family type. He's doing this because he's trying to make me happy and he's just going to end up feeling trapped and being resentful and-"_

" _Stop," Blaine said. "He loves you. He wants to marry you. He wants to be your husband and live the rest of his life with you."_

" _Then why did you have to write his proposal?"_

" _Because it's Sebastian," Blaine laughed. "He's not exactly gifted when it comes to expressing his feelings. He has a hard time saying what he means and asking for anything, you know that. And his idea of romance is telling you that you don't have to swallow if you don't want to."_

_Kurt let out a strangled laugh. "That's true enough. And just so you know, your idea of romance is over the top and covered in cheese."_

" _Whatever that proposal was a thing of beauty."_

" _I'm the light?" Kurt teased._

" _So maybe I went a little over the top," Blaine admitted. "It doesn't make it any less true. You are his light Kurt. I've known him a long time and I've never seen him happier than when he is with you. He loves you."_

" _You love me too, right?"_

" _Of course I do. I'm always going to love you, as a friend, as a brother, as my perfectly platonic soulmate. And I have never seen you more alive than when you're with Sebastian. So tell me what's going on here."_

" _Blaine we've never been platonic," Kurt murmured. "But that's not the point. The point is you're supposed to keep me from making mistakes. And this is a huge mistake. I can't marry Sebastian because if doesn't work out, I'll lose him forever. He's not you, he won't stay with me if it ends. If it goes bad with us, he won't stick around. He'll leave and he'll freeze me out and I'll lose him, Blaine. I'll lose him and I can't do that. I can't lose him. So it's just better if we don't do this. That way he doesn't start feeling like he got sucked into a life he never wanted and he doesn't start to hate me and I don't lose him because Blaine I can't-"_

" _You're not going to lose him," Blaine promised, putting his arms around Kurt. "If you were anybody else he would have been long gone by now. He loves you. He wants this. He's not doing this for you; he's doing this for himself. He wants to marry you. He's not feeling trapped or stuck or resentful or whatever else you're thinking. He wants this. He wants you. And you want him. So we're gonna break out your emergency skin care kit because you've gone blotchy-"_

" _Oh my God!" Kurt shrieked, shoving Blaine away and running to the mirror._

" _And then we're gonna get you married. You're gonna say your vows and then we're gonna go to the reception where you're going to save a dance for me-"_

" _I already have the orchestra queued for I Will Come To You," Kurt broke in._

" _I know and I have my Kurt Hummel approved choreography down pat," Blaine assured him. "So there you have it Kurt, everything is going to be perfect. Our friends will get sloppy drunk and argue with each other and hook up with the most inappropriate people they can find and you won't care because you'll be Sebastian's husband and it's going to be everything you ever wanted. And I bet you a hundred bucks that you're gonna live happily ever after because you two are meant to be."_

* * *

" _I've dreamed of this day since I was a little boy. And over the years it's gone through several revisions, a few of which our guests should be infinitely grateful for because I don't think anyone here besides Rachel and Blaine would appreciate having to serenade us with "Up Where We Belong" as you carry me out of the church a la an Officer and a Gentleman," Kurt said with a small laugh._

" _You cannot be serious," Sebastian mumbled._

" _Hush I was going through a phase," Kurt shushed him. "The point is, this day, for me has been a long time coming. I had every detail planned out even the groom, or at least what he'd be like. My groom was going to be handsome and charming, romantic and sensitive, possibly British, definitely in line for some sort of monarchy and definitely a real Disney prince come to life. And instead I got you. I got a guy who will steal a cab from a pregnant lady and actually owns a t-shirt that says 'I make the money so you make the sandwiches.' You're not British and your idea of romance definitely needs work and God knows you offend two out of three people without even trying but you're perfect. You're perfect Sebastian because you're real and you're you and I love you with a love that knows no bounds. I have never loved the way that I love you, you are my greatest love and you will be my last love. I'm going to stay by your side, as close as you'll allow, for the rest of my life. I promise to believe in you, and to honor you, to be the constant in your life and to never betray your trust or break your heart. From this day forward I will put you first, love you most and carry you with me wherever I go, until death do us part._

_Sebastian reached out and wiped the tears off of Kurt's face. "How am I supposed to follow that, huh? Always gotta show me up. But that's what I love about you. You challenge me Kurt and you make me want to be a better man. I never really saw myself doing this whole marriage thing. I never saw myself doing this whole relationship thing, and then you came along. And for the record you aren't exactly what I bargained for either. You're bitchy-sorry reverend-and demanding. You never do what you're told and you're always lecturing me on sensitivity and respecting other people's boundaries and you tried to make me go to a pride parade last year-"_

" _I should have let Blaine help you with your vows," Kurt moaned._

" _Can't even let me say my vows without putting your two cents in," Sebastian grinned. "And that's it right there. You never let me get away with anything. What I'm saying is you are nothing like anyone I ever saw myself with and that just goes to show my lack of imagination because you and all your crazy are everything to me. And even though I never saw myself getting married, Kurt in my heart I'm already your husband and I have been for a long time. You taught me how to love, how to get past my fear and my anger. You taught me how to how to hold on, and how to open myself up and trust someone. I will never be the man you deserve but I will spend every day from now until the rest of my life trying to be. I love you and I will do everything in my power to honor your heart and be worthy of the love you have gifted me with. You are so beautiful, inside and out and I am so humbled that I get to have that beauty with me every day. So I am standing here in this suit that you picked out, in front of God and everyone, inviting you to be my lover, my partner, my friend and truly, truly be my better half for as long as we both shall live."_

" _I now pronounce you married and you may kiss your husband."_

* * *

Kurt woke slowly, in stages as if he were emerging from gauzy cocoon. He finally opened his eyes and blinked, taking in the extravagant bedroom and luxurious bed and bolting upright when he finally realized they had reached their location.

"Welcome back to the world sleeping beauty," Sebastian greeted him.

"Where are we?" Kurt questioned blearily.

"My mother's. It's not Paris in the springtime but I'm hoping that you'll find _Montréal_ to be an acceptable substitution," Sebastian murmured.

"Where's Olivia?"

"She's in her room sulking. I told her she had to wait for you to wake up before she-"

"I'm awake," Kurt interrupted. "I'm awake and I want to see my baby. Bring me my little girl, Sebastian," Kurt ordered.

"As you wish," Sebastian murmured, dropping a gentle kiss to the top of Kurt's head before he left the room. A moment later Kurt heard the thundering of tiny feet and Olivia launched herself onto the bed and into his arms.

"Daddy! Daddy! I missed you so much Daddy! I'm so mad at you," Olivia said, bursting into tears.

Sebastian's heart broke at the sight of his daughter crying and the stricken look on Kurt's face. "Olivia, your Daddy-"

"Daddy is very sorry baby," Kurt said softly, gently wiping the tears off of her cheeks. "I know it probably scared you a little when you had to stay here all by yourself but I'm very proud of you for being such a brave girl."

"You said that you'd go on the adventure with me and then you didn't come. You lied," Olivia accused Kurt. "I had to go all by myself and I wanted you," she cried.

"I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise but I swear to you sweetheart I'll try my very, very best to never miss another adventure," Kurt said gently.

Olivia nodded and buried her head into Kurt's chest. "I was scared at first but I was a brave girl just like Papa asked and I stopped crying and then Grand Mère Ana got me lotsa presents and the most beautifulest princess dress and glass slippers just like Cinderella only not real glass 'cause that's dangrus and I missed you so much Daddy!" Olivia babbled in one long, unbroken string of words as she clung to Kurt.

"I'm glad you got to spend some time with your grandmother," Kurt murmured as he peppered her with kisses before burying his nose in her hair and breathing in the smell of his daughter. He felt a pang when he realized that her normal scent of ivory soap was absent, replaced the cool smell of lavender. "Did someone have a bubble bath?" Kurt teased.

Olivia nodded. "Grand-Mère Ana let me use her special stuff to make billions of bubbles and her tub is big enough to swim in!" Olivia fixed Kurt with a mutinous glare. "I want a tub like Grand-Mère Ana's," she declared.

The switch from clingy to demanding was so like his daughter that Kurt felt a bit of the knot in his chest loosen. Olivia was understandably upset but didn't seem to be overly traumatized in any way. It was a small consolation and a cold comfort but after the strain of the past few hours it was a comfort nonetheless and Kurt was grateful for it.

"We'll see," Kurt said kissing Olivia again.

Olivia gave Kurt the stink eye and then squirmed around so that she was facing Sebastian, who had silently sat down on the bed next to them and stared at the two of them with a haunted, broken expression on his face. "Papa," she said sweetly. "Will you get me a tub like Grand-Mère Ana's? You promised to make me happy and a tub like Grand-Mère Ana's would make me super happy," Olivia wheedled fluttering her lashes for effect.

Sebastian ran a gentle hand through Olivia's hair and forced a thin smile for his daughter. "I'll have to talk to your Daddy about it," he murmured. "But I'll see what I can do."

Olivia draped herself across Kurt and made grabby hands at Sebastian until he leaned down and gave her a kiss. She scrambled free, her hands and knees jabbing into Kurt's side and thighs, causing him to wince before she finally settled between the two of them.

"I told Grand-Mère Ana how I was 'posed to be the Fairy Queen at my recital but I didn't get to 'cause we moved but it was okay 'cause Daddy bought me Emmy and I love her more than I wanted to be Fairy Queen. Grand-Mère Ana said she'll come to New York and take me to see Nutcrackers and make sure I get to meet the Sugar Plum Fairy Queen," Olivia preened.

"Well, that sounds like an exciting adventure," Kurt said, keeping his voice deliberately light. "Have you been having fun with Grand-Mère Ana?"

Olivia nodded. "She's like Grampa Burt. She keeps hugging me and taking pictures and buying me stuff." Olivia wrinkled her nose. "She talks funny though and sometimes I don't understand her."

"She's not talking funny," Kurt corrected gently. "Grand-Mère Ana grew up in France…like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Sometimes she speaks French," Kurt explained.

"Can you talk Franch?" Olivia asked.

"Speak French," Sebastian corrected. "And your Daddy speaks flawless French."

"Can you Papa," Olivia asked.

Sebastian nodded. "I grew up speaking French."

"I want to learn to talk Franch too," Olivia announced.

Sebastian laughed. "Well then, ma petite biche, here's your first lesson: You don't want to learn to talk Franch, you wish to learn to speak French."

"I wish to learn to speak French," Olivia parroted quickly.

"C'est bien!" Sebastian praised.

"It's a pity she doesn't already know how," a melodic voice with the tiniest hint of a French accent broke in from the doorway. "But she'll learn soon enough. Won't you darling?"

"Yes Grand-Mère Ana," Olivia answered. "Papa and Daddy are going to show me how."

"Kurt," Analise Smythe addressed her son-in-law as she eyed him critically. "I trust you're going to be the one teaching her. Left up to Sebastian Olivia's tutelage might include some of the more…colorful words and phrases the language has to offer."

Sebastian smiled fondly at his mother. "I'm shocked and appalled that you think I would do such a thing."

"Oh my sweet, I'd be shocked and appalled if you didn't," Analise returned gently. "Now, take Olivia down to the gardens and get a bit of fresh air. Blaine's waiting for you down there and I'd like to speak to Kurt alone." Although it sounded like a request both Kurt and Sebastian recognized it for the order it was.

"Come on sweetie. Grand-Mère Ana and Daddy need a few minutes alone," Sebastian told Olivia as he gathered her up. He paused in front of his mother and leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"I think you've done quite enough of that all on your own," Analise replied, patting Sebastian on the arm and dismissing him.

Sebastian nodded, cast Kurt one final concerned glance over his shoulder and then pulled the door shut behind him.

"You and I need to have a long overdue conversation. There's a small sitting room just down the hall. You have five minutes. Make yourself presentable and then join me," Analise decreed before leaving Kurt alone to wonder if the estrangement of the last few years had turned Analise from friend to foe.

* * *

I hope no one is too terribly upset by the discussion about Alexander Smythe and Sebastian's relationship with his father. It's my intention to tread VERY carefully around the topic of abuse (which will be explored a bit more in upcoming chapters. NOTHING physically graphic will be depicted). Alexander was a huge presence in Sebastian's life and his behavior and personality and the relationship they had is a key part of why Sebastian is the way he is and that will be explored a bit more in the rest of the story. It's NOT an excuse for Sebastian's behavior...it is an explanation of why/how he thinks the way he does and why he has the issues he does with things like trust, forgiveness and control.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Analise and Kurt's talk reveals long buried Smythe family secrets and helps Kurt decide whether he's going to fight for his freedom from or a future with Sebastian. Meanwhile Sebastian has a revelation of his own leading Kurt and Sebastian to finally lay all their cards on the table in a brutally honest confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives some backstory on Sebastian's family, particularly his father and his parents marriage. There's OC character deaths mentioned in this chapter and two of those characters are children so if this is something that will trigger or upset you please be aware. There's also an injury to a child that takes place.

"So he's awake," Blaine asked as stood next to Sebastian and watched Olivia play among the flowers.

"He's awake," Sebastian confirmed.

"And?"

"He seems to have slept well," Sebastian remarked.

"That's it?" Blaine demanded.

"What do you want me to say Blaine?" Sebastian asked tiredly. "That he woke up and demanded to see Olivia? That she came in there and looked at him like he hung the freaking moon? Because yeah, Blaine that's exactly what happened. Do you want me to say that I sat there and watched him sniffing her hair and kissing her cheek and holding her close as if he'd never expected to see her again and it made me feel lower than I have ever felt _in my life_? Because hey guess what? That happened too. What do you want to hear, Blaine?"

"I want to hear the truth," Blaine said.

"The truth is," Sebastian snapped, glancing at Olivia before lowering his voice, "The truth is that I finally get it. Why he left, why he hid, and why he didn't want to come back. She has no clue, Blaine. None," he said indicating Olivia. "She thinks the guys are all her 'minstins' and their job is to play with her or that she's the princess and they're the castle guards. She doesn't understand that she's been kidnapped twice, by both her parents. She doesn't realize that the pretty green glass in the car is special not because it's green but because it's bullet resistant and that she can only ride in certain vehicles because they've been bomb proofed. Kurt gave her a world where the worst thing that she can imagine is not being able to find the bow that matches her dress. He gave her normalcy and safety and happiness and I took that away from her, from both of them and dragged them back down into this pit of despair with me because I'm selfish. I'm selfish and I didn't think of them, I just wanted my family back, I wanted what was mine and to hell with what anyone else wanted or needed."

"You were an ass," Blaine agreed. "But you weren't wrong. She's your daughter Seb. No matter how far or how hard Kurt ran that was never going to change because you can't outrun the truth."

"I will taint her like I do everything else."

"Are you pulling this martyrdom bullshit now?" Blaine whispered harshly. "You've already dragged her into your life, Sebastian. She knows who you are and she loves you. It's too late to bow out now. You don't get to finally acknowledge that Kurt had some valid concerns and decide that the way to deal with that is to vote yourself off the island. You're in this now. That little girl has given you her heart and you don't get to break it. You don't get to abandon her."

"Don't start with me," Sebastian warned.

"Somebody has to," Blaine insisted. "You are like a fucking see saw man. One minute you're up and the next you're down. Look, you fucked up. Kurt fucked up, but that doesn't even matter anymore because the two of you are here, now so start from here and do what's best for your daughter. And since you don't seem to know what that is, let me tell you: Put her family back together. Talk to him. Don't make demands, don't make threats, and don't decree anything. _Talk to him_. Tell him how you feel, tell him what you want and start making decisions together."

"I don't think we're capable of that," Sebastian admitted.

"Then you find a way," Blaine replied. "What happened up there? What scared you so badly that you're the one running now?"

"I'm not running," Sebastian denied. "I'm just finally admitting that I should have walked away a long time ago. You owe me a hundred bucks, by the way."

"No I don't. I told you on your wedding day and I'm telling you now: Kurt makes you happy and you two will be happy together," Blaine said. "You belong together. I bet you that marrying him would be the best thing you ever did and I was right then and I'm right now."

"I told you then that I'd screw this up. I told you, Blaine. And you promised that if I messed things up so badly that it couldn't be fixed you'd get him out before I wrecked him. You promised not to let me ruin this Blaine, so keep your promise, give me my money and go up there and take him away."

"Yeah no, I'm not gonna do that," Blaine refused. "You don't really want me to do that and it would just make things worse. The last thing you two need is more distance between you or you once again deciding for Kurt where he's gonna go and what he's gonna do. I'm not quite ready to call in our bet because I still say you two getting to happily ever after has some real good odds so you tell me what happened Bas? Did Kurt do something? Say something? What?"

"What happened is I made my daughter cry. I caused her to feel afraid and abandoned and to shed tears and then today I looked at the two people I love most in the world and I realized that the longer I keep them with me, the more harm I do. Olivia was furious with Kurt at first for not coming here with her. She accused him of breaking his promise to always be with her and she told him how it scared her to have to leave without him and you know what he did?" Sebastian asked Blaine. When Blaine shook his head Sebastian continued. "He apologized to her. He took it, Blaine. He didn't blame me, he didn't tell her the truth and try to turn her against me, and he didn't tell her it wasn't his fault. He took the blame and he apologized and wiped her tears away and he protected me…I took her from him and he protected me. And I just…I don't know that I would have done the same."

"You would have," Blaine said confidently.

"How the hell can you be so sure?"

"Because you haven't told her the truth either," Blaine shrugged. "You could have made Kurt the bad guy a long time ago and you didn't. Both of you are capable of putting her first. Both of you protect each other when it counts. Both of you are insanely in love with one another. Now just take that common ground and try to build on it."

Sebastian shook his head. "He wants out. He never wanted to come back to me. I forced it on him."

"He loves you and you love him-"

"What's that saying?" Sebastian asked dully as he looked up at the terrace where Kurt stood with his mother. "If you love something let it go?"

* * *

"I'm not going to have you shot and buried underneath the rose bushes," Analise said by way of greeting when Kurt entered the room. "Although there was a time when I swore that if I ever laid eyes on you again I would."

Analise walked across the room and took her seat, the effortless grace of her movements hinting at her dancer's background. At eighteen Analise Molineaux had captivated Alexander Smythe with her beauty and the years had done nothing to diminish her charms. Her hair was a shimmering wave of strawberry blonde silk that she'd swept to one side and secured with a diamond barrette so that the curls cascaded down over one shoulder. Her eyes were a brilliant green shade framed by long, thick lashes that swept over her high cheekbones every time she blinked, and her lips were lush, full and painted a brilliant matte red, the only obvious makeup that she wore. The simplicity of her silk peach suit belied the sophistication of its design and Kurt found himself remembering the first time he had ever met Sebastian's mother and feeling similarly intimidated.

"Ana…Mrs. Smythe-,"

"Don't stand on ceremony with me Kurt. We're much too familiar for that. Now take a seat," Analise waived off his fumbling and indicated the chair across from hers.

"I suppose you want to hear me say that I'm sorry before you rip into me," Kurt said, dropping elegantly into the offered chair. He held himself tightly; back ramrod straight, face purposely blank and only the tiniest tremble in his voice betrayed his nerves.

"Are you?" Analise asked, arching an eyebrow. "Are you sorry, Kurt?"

"I'm sorry that the decision I made caused so much pain for so many of the people I love," Kurt said maintaining eye contact. "It was never my intention to make anyone suffer and I will always carry guilt and regret for having done so."

"But," Analise prompted.

"But I'm not sorry that I tried to protect my daughter and if I ever have to choose between her safety and anyone else's happiness, including my own, she'll always come first," Kurt said fiercely.

"As it should be," Analise said, pouring herself a cup of coffee and taking a small sip before continuing. "I was furious with you. Not because you left Sebastian, but because of the way you went about it. Sebastian may be my child but I have no illusions about him. He is his father's son, so much more Christian. Alexander was not an easy man to love. Being his wife came with a great amount of power and privilege but also demanded a great amount of sacrifice and I imagine that being Sebastian's husband comes with much of the same."

"It's not always easy no."

"I suspect that's a rather sizeable understatement," Analise remarked. "Do you know why I haven't had you shot and buried out underneath the rose bushes?"

"I don't imagine it's the illegality of a little thing like murder that's holding you back," Kurt murmured.

"Of course not," Analise admitted with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Even if I were so inclined, should I harm one chestnut colored strand on your handsome little head, Sebastian would wreak a vengeance so terrible it would leave God himself trembling in its wake."

"He wouldn't hurt you," Kurt said shaking his head.

"No Kurt, he wouldn't hurt _you_ ," Analise corrected. "He wouldn't hurt Olivia-lovely gesture by the way, naming her after my mother-and I rather suspect that he would never hurt Blaine, at least not permanently. But the rest o _f_ us given the proper motivation, and make no mistake harming you would be the proper motivation, we have no such guarantees of Sebastian's mercy."

"He's your _son_ ," Kurt said disbelievingly.

"No my love, he's _Alexander's_ son," Analise correctly softly. "The mark his father left on him runs much deeper than just DNA. Sebastian inherited his father's good looks, intelligence, charm and irreparably broken moral compass. Sebastian has grown up in a world colored in various shades of grey where the concepts of good and bad, right and wrong are often trumped by the instincts to survive and thrive, protect and defend. Sebastian will do whatever he must to whomever he must in order to protect that which is his."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"It used to terrify me," Analise said, surprising Kurt. "But after Alex…now it brings me comfort. I rest a little easier at night knowing that my son will do everything in his power to keep death from knocking at his door. If he didn't, who would?"

"That doesn't make it right," Kurt maintained.

"No it doesn't," Analise acknowledged. "But it is what it is. Tell me Kurt, if a man with a gun came for you, came for Olivia, what would you do? What would you be willing to do, how much would you be willing to compromise to keep her safe? To keep her alive?"

"Anything," Kurt said without hesitation. "I'd do anything. I have done _everything_ , to keep her safe."

"Of course you have," Analise said nodding in approval. "And so has Sebastian. From the moment he knew that she was coming into the world he has done everything to keep her safe, to keep _you_ safe."

"He's the reason our safety is in jeopardy," Kurt pointed out.

Analise took a deep breath and rose from her seat. She went out on the terrace overlooking the rose gardens and smiled as she caught sight of Sebastian playing with Olivia. "Come here, Kurt," she beckoned.

Kurt came and stood next to her on the terrace, some of the tension easing out of him at the sight of his daughter and husband laughing and running after each other amid the flowers and fruit trees. "I know that he loves her-," Kurt began.

"What do you know about my relationship with Alexander?" Analise cut him off.

"I'm sorry what?" Kurt asked his eyes wide with shock. The unspoken rule in the house of Smythe was that the fallen patriarch was fondly remembered but seldom discussed, especially with his widow. "Um, I know that he met you when he was vacationing in Paris and you were there visiting relatives. I know that it was a whirlwind courtship and you two got married his last day in Paris and then he moved to _Montréal_ to be with you and you had Christian and then Sebastian and were very much in love until his…passing."

"I suspected as much. That story is true enough, but as always life is not a fairy tale and our story is no exception," Analise told him. "There's quite a bit more to it but there's a very specific point in time that I'd like to share with you now. Christian was four and Sebastian was a little under two. Alexander had just been promoted and he'd moved us from Montréal to Manhattan. Part of his new duties included identifying and removing weak links, people that knew too much and couldn't be trusted not to roll over in times of trouble or people who didn't know how to fly under the radar and called too much attention to themselves and the organization or those had simply outlived their usefulness." She paused and gave Kurt a long look before she continued. "Alexander was exceptionally good at his job. He prided himself on being a consummate professional and I daresay he took a fair bit of pleasure in it as well." She stopped and took a steadying breath.

"Ana," Kurt said softly, reaching out and curling his fingers over hers where she had gripped the balcony so hard her knuckles had turned white, the only outward sign of her distress.

"It's okay love," she said, bringing her other hand over to give Kurt's a reassuring pat. "As I was saying, Alex enjoyed his work. One day I had the boys out shopping because Alex had promised that in exchange for uprooting us from Montréal that I had free reign to decorate our new home without any input from him whatsoever."

Kurt smiled. "So that explains the naked cherubs in the foyer."

Analise laughed. "Those were so tacky and garish but it was worth having those horrendous things in the foyer to watch him struggle not to complain about them. Sometimes he would walk into the staircase because he was trying to cross the room with his eyes shut," she recalled affectionately.

Kurt chuckled. "Ana, you're evil."

"Takes one to know one. Or are you going to try to convince me that you weren't angry with Sebastian when you made him wear a lime green suit to the Designer Showhouse at the Hamptons?" She asked knowingly.

"Citrus colors were in that year," Kurt said with a straight face.

"Of course they were dear," Analise laughed. "And I suppose that's why your suit was a tasteful cream color, hmm? Just goes to show that we're not so different you and I. Now as I was saying, I had the boys with me and I was shopping. Looking at paint swatches and fabric samples and not at all playing the part of the happy housewife because I _was_ a happy housewife. And the next thing I knew Marciella Santos, my best friend at the time, was in my face screaming at me, demanding to know how I could live with myself. I had no clue what she was going on about and when I said as much she just stopped, stared at me and then started laughing. Then she told me that my husband had made my best friend a widow and left my Godchildren without their father and then she…spit on me. She spit on me and she left me standing there, with both of my boys in tears and everyone staring at me and to this day I don't remember how I got home."

"She had no right-"

"No, she didn't," Analise agreed. "I married into this life; Marciella was born into it. She knew the rules of the game far better than I did and her husband was no innocent bystander. But he was her husband and the father of her children and she was devastated by his death."

"Ana-"

"He was also Alex's best friend and Christian's Godfather," Analise added quietly.

"That's horrific," Kurt whispered.

"Yes it was," Analise confirmed. "I was livid. Anthony had been family and for Alexander to have done something like that...I could not fathom the cruelty or the level of betrayal contained within that act and I was infuriated. He had taken from my best friend, my Godchildren, my children, from me and he hadn't said a word. And when I confronted him he told me point blank that he never had and never would seek my approval or my acquiescence when it came to business decisions. It was the first time I remember ever truly understanding what I had married into, what I had brought children into. It was the first time I remember being legitimately terrified of what Alexander had the potential to become. I suspect I don't have to explain to you how devastating those revelations were," she said giving Kurt a glance.

Kurt shook his head as memories of seeing Mallory's limo explode before his eyes and Sebastian's remorseless insistence that he had merely done the necessary thing washed over him. "No you don't," he murmured.

"It took about a week to go from angry to terrified," Analise continued. "Marciella made the mistake of confronting Carter Sinclair. At the time Carter was the man at the top of the totem pole," Analise explained, bringing her hand out from under Kurt's and hooking it through his arm.

"I can't imagine that went over well," Kurt said.

"Indeed it did not. By the time she made it home, her children were dead. She made an enemy out of Carter so he made an example out of her."

"Oh my God," Kurt gasped, bile rising up in his throat.

"They were four and six and he had them slaughtered. The damage was so extensive that the funeral had to be closed casket-"

"I don't want to hear this," Kurt said, trying to pull away.

"And I didn't want to live it but we don't always get what we want," Analise said, holding firm. "You can't hide from the truth and you should know by now that remaining willfully blind to the realities of this life is not an option."

When Kurt stopped trying to pull away Analise continued. "Marciella was destroyed and I was…horrified. Everyone was horrified. It's a taboo to go after children but Carter was a monster Kurt," Analise said vehemently. "He had no morality or mercy and Marciella and her children paid the price for that. I was beside myself. I wanted out of this life, out of this country, out…just out. I was frightened that everything in Alex that was good and decent was going to be destroyed and that my children, my innocent, precious babies would end up twisted and damaged or worse than that, dead. I gave Alex an ultimatum. I told him he could have his family or his business but he couldn't have both."

"He chose the business," Kurt guessed.

"There was never a choice to make," Analise corrected. "Alexander was Carter's second in command and the only ways out were death or the Witness Protection Program."

"So he was trapped," Kurt said.

Analise shook her head. "Your naïveté is charming, love. Have you forgotten when I said that Alex enjoyed his work? He loved the money, the power, the prestige. He even loved the danger. Alex chose this business, he chose this life and walking away from it, even for us, was never an option for him."

"So you went along with his decision," Kurt surmised.

Analise gave Kurt a withering stare. "Do I look like a woman who goes along to get along?"

Kurt shook his head at his mother-in-law. "No you do not," he admitted.

"And I never have been," Analise declared. "I packed our bags and I left. I booked a room at the Le Clerc, called my parents in _Montréal_ and cried my eyes out."

"You left Alexander?"

"I did."

"Let me guess," Kurt sighed. "You realized that love was more important than fear and he realized he loved you guys more than he loved the power and you reconciled."

Analise gave him a sharp look. "I do believe I told you earlier life is not a fairytale," she said severely. "My life story was not penned by Disney. I left him and things between us got very ugly, very quickly."

"What?" Kurt blinked.

"He came to me that night. He begged me to come home and told me that he loved me and our boys and that he would never let any harm come to us but he could not and would not give up everything he'd worked for. I told him that as long as he remained in Carter's employ we had nothing else to discuss."

"So he left."

"Indeed he did. But not before he kissed me one last time, told he me he loved me and then took my children with him," Analise informed Kurt. "And it was exactly as cruel and heart wrenching as you're imagining it was. I turned into a crazy woman, cursing, crying and fighting the guards to get to my children. Sebastian was screaming his head off he was so scared and Christian was so quiet and confused. Alex took my boys and left me sobbing alone on the floor in the middle of that hotel room."

"I'm sorry," Kurt whispered.

"Do you know what I hated most about that moment, even more than being separated from my children," Analise asked Kurt.

"No," Kurt answered.

"I still loved him. I still wanted him. I hated what he'd done to me, to them. I hated the life he lived and the things he was capable of but I couldn't hate Alex because I loved him with a fire that consumed me. The only people I've ever loved more are my children," Analise confessed.

Kurt swallowed past the lump in his throat. The comparison hit too close to home and he suspected that's exactly why Analise had chosen to share this painful part of her past with him.

"When did you go back?" Kurt asked.

"I didn't," Analise said bluntly. "Remember that I left out of fear, fear for the morality and safety of my children and loving their father didn't change that so I made up my mind that I was going to fight for their future and their safety."

"And that's why things got ugly," Kurt guessed.

"Alex had a lot of power and he had no compunction about using it. He came to me and offered me a deal. He'd give me two million dollars if I'd agree to give him full custody of the boys. In return I'd get two weeks out of the year and pre-approved visits depending on his schedule and goodwill," Analise recalled.

"That's," Kurt's throat closed up at the idea of having so little time with Olivia or being at the mercy of Sebastian's whims. "How could he do that to you? To them?"

"Alex didn't like to lose, Kurt. He didn't love easily but he loved intensely. When I left him I shattered him and when Alex got angry, Alex got even," She cast a meaningful look down at Sebastian before continuing. "And I'm well aware that on that score the apple did not fall far from the tree."

"No it did not," Kurt agreed.

Analise nodded. "I told him to take his offer and shove it."

"I suppose Alexander didn't appreciate you turning him down."

"Alex never did like to be told no, yet another of his traits that Sebastian inherited," Analise said. "Alex was hurt and angry and as much as he loved me he also loved his sons and wasn't going to let them go. I loved him too, I loved him more than was healthy and that never changed. No matter how low down and dirty our fight got, we never stopped loving each other. We also both refused to back down and give in so for two years Alex and I were miserable and we made our children and everyone around us miserable as well. I missed him, every moment of every day but I was convinced that the safety of my children was worth the sacrifice so I held firm and kept fighting."

"How bad did it get?"

"Well let's see," Analise sighed. "He froze me out of all the accounts, cut me off without a dime and left me penniless. Then he intimidated my lawyer into dropping my case and had me turned down for everything I interviewed for or fired from every job I was fortunate enough to get and then generously offered me a job as a cleaning lady in his office," Analise recalled.

"Ana," Kurt breathed.

"Oh it gets worse," she said with false cheer. "When my family tried to help they became targets. My father suddenly lost all of his clients and his business went under, my brother in law lost his job and the bank mysteriously called in the loan on my their home and my sister and her family were forced to move in with my parents and my brother's restaurant was bombarded by nonstop surprise inspections, vendors suddenly wouldn't sell to him, he couldn't keep anyone competent on staff and eventually he had to close."

Kurt's mouth dropped open in shock but then he remembered how Sebastian had systematically destroyed "Sylvester's" life and he exhaled. "How could you love someone who was so cruel to you," he asked softly.

"When has love ever precluded cruelty?" Analise asked harshly. "Or are you suffering under the delusion that it was _kind_ of you to abandon my son and take his child away from him without so much as a note explaining your absence?"

Kurt bristled. "You of all people should understand. I did what I did with the best of intentions and I acted out of desperation-"

"You acted out of cowardice," Analise accused. "Desperation caused you to flee but it was nothing more than pure cowardice that caused you to remain hidden. You may fool Sebastian but you do not fool me. You cannot tell me that once fear had loosed its grip that you didn't realize the mistake you'd made in leaving the way you did and you cannot tell me that you didn't ache to return." Kurt remained silent and Analise nodded. "I thought as much. I will never judge you for leaving but I will also never respect the way you went about it. You could have called him, you could have come home and the only reason you didn't was because you didn't have enough faith in your husband, your marriage or yourself."

"It's not that simple," Kurt snapped.

"Life never is," Analise shrugged. "You asked me how I could love someone who was so deliberately cruel to me. Do you imagine that I was some hapless victim who didn't return the favor?"

"No," Kurt admitted.

"Of course not," Analise said. "Because people like you and me, we may be victimized but we will never be victims. I have no doubt that my son has attempted to merit out some form of punishment for leaving him and lay down the law, as it were. I also have no doubt that you have been anything but compliant and whenever Sebastian has attempted to lay down said law, you've picked it up and metaphorically beat him soundly about the head with it. Am I close?"

Kurt choked back a small laugh remembering the Central Park rebellion. "I may not have been as cooperative as Sebastian would have liked."

Analise laughed merrily. "Good for you. I've always known you were a good match for my son, the quintessential iron fist in a velvet glove. Sebastian, much like his father, needs someone he can respect, someone who challenges him and forces him to remember that as much as he may wish it to be so, he is not in fact, the king of everything."

"How did you fight back with Alexander?"

"Viciously and sometimes sneakily," Analise said. "He cut me off, I snuck into the house, stole every piece of jewelry he owned and went all over town pawning it until I had a tidy little nest egg to live off of."

"Oh my God," Kurt laughed.

"He made my lawyer my quit so I blackmailed a friend of his-who was a much better attorney-into picking up my case. He forced me into that demeaning job at his office, I spit in his coffee pot every morning. He cost my father and my brother their businesses…I phoned in anonymous tips that got a couple of his shut down as well. He forced my sister out of her home; I set his pool house on fire."

Kurt stared at Analise. "That um…well, that's one way to handle the situation."

"I was at a disadvantage Kurt, but I was not going to be walked all over. He hurt me so I hurt him back. We stopped trusting each other and but we never stopped loving each other," Analise explained.

"That sounds familiar," Kurt remarked with a pang.

"Yes, I imagine it would," Analise said.

"So what happened? How did you go from revenge to reconciliation?"

"Unforeseen circumstances," Analise smiled sadly. "I left him primarily for the boys. To keep them safe, so that if Alex ran afoul of a man like Carter my children wouldn't become collateral damage. I left the man I loved to keep my kids from being hurt and in the end, it didn't matter because life is unpredictable Kurt and danger doesn't always come in the form of a man with a gun."

"I don't understand."

"I had the boys for the weekend. Sebastian had just turned four, he was a little older than Olivia and was absolutely obsessed with learning how to ride a big boy bike like his brother," Analise remembered. "It was the Fourth of July and we were at a friend's barbeque. The kids were playing and it was a perfectly unremarkable, completely normal afternoon."

"What happened?"

"The children went on a bike ride around the neighborhood. I and a couple of the other parents decided to walk after them, just to keep an eye on them," Analise recalled. "Sebastian was one the youngest and he couldn't quite manage to keep up the other kids but he kept trying. And one minute he was a few feet in front of me and the next some car had come careening around the corner and he was lying in a neighbor's front yard."

"Oh my God," Kurt breathed.

Analise swallowed thickly. "I could not believe it. My baby was lying on the ground and his little body was broken and he was bleeding and he was so still and so quiet. I thought I'd lost him and in that moment Kurt, my world ended. I felt nothing but grief and fear and for the two weeks that it took Sebastian to wake up that was all I could feel. All I could experience was grief, fear, soul crushing guilt and regret."

"It was a freak accident," Kurt said. "It wasn't your fault. Sometimes horrible things just happen."

" _Yes_ ," Analise said, seizing Kurt's arm. "That's it exactly. My son was in the middle of Norman Rockwell's suburbia, playing with his friends and he nearly died. It wasn't a stray bullet from gangland shooting. It wasn't a botched kidnapping. It wasn't some enemy that Alex had made or some overzealous cop trying to make an arrest. It was a sixteen year old boy rooting around in his glove compartment and not paying attention to the road that jumped the curb and ran over my son. I did everything I could do to keep him safe. I sacrificed my marriage, my happiness, my husband, our family and in the end Kurt, it was for _nothing_. I put everyone I loved through two years of pure misery for _nothing_ because life Kurt, _life is not safe_. We can do absolutely everything right and it can all still go horribly wrong."

Kurt shook his head. "Did Alex blame you?"

"He wouldn't even let me blame me," Analise said fiercely. "He was my rock, Kurt. He held me when I cried, took care of me when I was so afraid I couldn't function, kept Christian from being afraid or left alone. He was everything that I fell in love with and everything that I had been missing and he never once let me down. And I looked at him one day, after Sebastian had woken up, and Alex had Christian on his lap and Alex was in his suit reading them Winnie the Pooh and doing all the different character voices. Sebastian was laughing and Christian was so happy and I was smiling and then I realized that I hadn't seen my children so joyful and so content in years. I realized that I hadn't felt so complete and whole in years and I looked at Alexander and I realized that he hadn't looked so relaxed and at peace since the day I left and I decided no more. I couldn't guarantee their safety but I could guarantee their happiness, all of our happiness. I told Alex right then that when Sebastian was released we were coming home and he just…he nodded and his eyes welled up but he didn't cry. He just nodded and kissed the boys and kept reading."

"It was that easy?" Kurt asked.

"Nothing about it was easy," Analise corrected. "Some random kid running Sebastian down didn't erase the fact that I had left for very real reasons. Alexander sat me down and explained in uncomfortable, painstaking, vomit inducing detail just how bad things in this life could get. And then he explained to me every detail of every step he took to keep us as safe as we could possibly be and in the end Kurt, I had to accept some very hard truths."

"Such as?"

"My sons were Alexander's children as much as they were mine," Analise stated quietly. "Whether they were living in a modest two bedroom apartment with me or at his estate with their father, they were still Alex's children and any enemy that Alex made would know that. They became targets the day they were born."

"Like Olivia."

"Like Olivia," Analise repeated. "Which isn't to say there wasn't risk to being with their father, being embroiled in this life rather than on its fringes but the simple truth was the risk was always there, it just a matter of degrees."

"I understand and I can even accept that no one can guarantee Olivia's physical safety," Kurt said slowly. "But her morals, her ethics, her value system and belief in right and wrong-"

"Will ultimately be decided by her," Analise gently reminded Kurt. "You're quite close to Blaine. Tell me, do you find him morally deficient?"

"No," Kurt answered immediately. "Blaine is a good person. He can sometimes rationalize things that maybe he shouldn't and see shades of grey where maybe things should be black and white but he's one of the most moral, compassionate and just genuinely good people I've ever met."

"And yet, he grew up in this world. As did Christian. Is my son, the art teacher, a menace to society?" Analise questioned.

"Of course not," Kurt huffed. "Christian is practically a pacifist."

"And yet as I understand it you once asked Sebastian to turn the organization over to his brother," Analise said icily.

Kurt flushed. "Desperate times?" He offered by way of explanation.

"Indeed they must have been," Analise muttered. "The point, my dear boy is that Olivia is not going to simply be at the mercy of her surroundings. You, your family, me, Sebastian, Blaine, Christian, the people that you choose to allow close enough to have influence in her life will shape her consciousness and impact how she views the world and who she becomes. You have a say and you have power here. I can't tell you that she won't grow up with her worldview tilted a few degrees here and there, but I can tell you that doesn't automatically mean she's going to be a bad person."

"I wish I had talked to you before," Kurt said.

"As do I," Analise sighed. "But what's done is done. I chose to reunite my family because ultimately it was best for everyone, including my children. I cannot say that reconciliation is best for you and Sebastian. There has been a lot of hurt and pain and I am not so devoted a mother that I am blinded to the harm he has done you and the hurt he has caused. I know that not all wounds can be healed and that love is not always enough. But I also know that my son is helplessly in love with you and you with him. I know that you are both committed to doing what is best for my granddaughter and I know that both of you are capable of doing much better than you have been. Now, I'm going to go get Olivia, take her down to the stables and introduce her to the horses. I'll send Sebastian up. I'm sure the two of you have things to discuss," Analise said as she pressed a soft kiss into Kurt's cheek and left him alone on the terrace.

"Thank you," Kurt murmured.

"And Kurt," Analise said, pausing at the door. "This life is hard and often cruel. It demands sacrifice and compromise and constant reevaluation on where your priorities and your loyalties lie. But it can also richly rewarding and incredibly fulfilling. I don't regret any of the years that I spent with Alexander but I will forever lament the ones that I spent without him. This life is not for everyone and I will not think less of you if you decide it is not for you. But if you hurt my son again, there is a rosebush with your name on it."

Kurt squared his shoulders and narrowed his eyes at Analise. "You're certainly welcome to try, although I'd caution against it. After all, even if mine are a bit up in the air at the moment, we both know where Sebastian's loyalties lie."

The corners of Analise's mouth quirked up in a small smile and she nodded, pulling the door shut behind her.

A few minutes later found her swinging Olivia onto her hip sending Sebastian to her sitting room to speak with Kurt.

"I don't get to know what you said to my husband," Sebastian demanded.

"If Kurt feels the need to share that's up to him but you won't get a peep out of me," Analise replied.

"If you upset him-"

"You'll what? Make certain my next limo ride will be my last?" Analise challenged.

Sebastian clenched his jaw and shook his head. "I didn't need you to interfere," he insisted.

"It's a mother's prerogative to intervene on behalf of her child's happiness," Analise said airily. "Now go see your husband."

Sebastian nodded and gave Olivia a quick peck goodbye before kissing his mother cheek. "Thank you for being so gracious. I know I had no right to bring my drama to your door."

"My sweet boy I will always be here for you when you need me. You and your brother and now this little one here are my greatest joys," Analise smiled. "But Sebastian, make no mistake. Should you continue to cause my son in law to suffer needlessly, there's a spot for you underneath the azaleas."

Sebastian barked out a startled laugh as Blaine struggled to keep a straight face. "I don't even rate a rosebush?"

"At the moment you don't deserve a rosebush. Consider yourself lucky I'm not having you turned into compost."

"Duly noted," Sebastian said as he turned away from his mother and made his way into the house.

"Grand-Mère Ana," Olivia said suddenly, "Are Papa and Daddy okay?"

Analise looked up at the terrace where Sebastian had joined Kurt. They were standing side by side and talking quietly.

"Not quite yet ma petite chou but I believe that they will be," Analise said with a small smile.

* * *

Kurt and Sebastian stood side by side looking down at Analise, Blaine and Olivia as they walked through the gardens until the trio disappeared from sight.

"Do I get to know what you and my mother spoke about?" Sebastian asked Kurt, breaking the silence between them.

Kurt smiled briefly at Sebastian then shook his head. "I think that it was a conversation that's best left between Ana and me. I will tell though that your mother threatened to have me shot and buried underneath one of her rosebushes if I ever hurt you again," Kurt replied.

Sebastian laughed softly and sighed. "At least you got a rosebush. My final resting place is over there in that lonely corner by the azaleas."

Kurt shrugged. "It could have been worse. At least you aren't compost."

Sebastian made a strangled sound in his throat and at Kurt's curious look he shook his head. "Don't mind me. I'm just having an internal freak out because I just realized that I married my mother."

Kurt gave a quiet laugh and shook his head. "I won't ask."

"Please don't," Sebastian begged.

"Bas-"

"Kurt-"

"You first," Kurt said.

Sebastian closed his eyes and exhaled. "I messed up. I'm difficult and I'm damaged and none of that has anything to do with you. I was wrecked long before we ever met. You were right when you left me and if I were a better man I'd have left you in peace and let you go. What you need most I can't give you. I hurt you Kurt, just by virtue of being who I am. I hurt you and I don't know how to make that right. You think that being married means safety and security, full disclosure, complete transparency, no secrets, no lies, and the freedom to bare your souls to each other. You need to be close, to have intimacy to feel important and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. That would be easy for any husband to give you except when the husband is me," Sebastian said softly. "I will always keep secrets from you. There will always be people that you can't meet, places that you aren't allowed into and things that I can't talk about with you. You will never have all of me, Kurt. I am always going to come from a place that you don't understand and play by rules that you don't think are fair. I will lie, cheat and steal with absolutely no shame. I will take a life and then come home, crawl into bed beside you and sleep like a baby."

"Sebastian-"

"I love you beyond all reason," Sebastian said passionately, "But that doesn't stop me from hurting you. And I can't promise that I won't keep hurting you. I took Olivia to punish you and I brought you here to test you and watching Olivia throw herself into your arms this afternoon I realized that we can't keep doing this. I would probably dance this dance with you until the music died but we can't keep doing this to her."

"What do you suggest," Kurt asked tightly.

"This thing between us isn't working," Sebastian choked out.

" _No_ ," Kurt interrupted shaking his head. "You do not get to do this. Don't you _dare_ come up and try to be all noble and self-sacrificing now. I swear I will put you under the azaleas myself," Kurt hissed.

"I can't give you the kind of life you want and I can't be the man you need," Sebastian explained.

"You don't get to tell me what I want or make decisions about what I need," Kurt broke in. "I don't understand this. This sounds like you're trying to tell me it's over, like you're saying goodbye and we _never_ agreed on goodbye. We agreed that we couldn't keep going the way things were and we needed to change and do better but never, not once ever, did we agree on goodbye! We don't need to decide this right now, we have time Bas-"

"Baby," Sebastian said, gently cradling Kurt's face. "Time has nothing to do with this. We were trying to make this…we were trying to live a fairytale Kurt and fairytales aren't real. Why should you have to spend the rest of your life making compromises and sacrifices for a man who could never do the same for you?"

"That's my choice," Kurt insisted. "You are always taking away my choices!" Kurt exploded. "You tell me pretty little lies because you don't think I can handle the ugly truths. You force me into a corner and then punish me when I won't stay there. You bully me into coming back to you and then you make it _so damn difficult_ to stay. And every single decision, every single choice you strip away from me, you pat me on the head and tell me it's for my own good or it's because you know best and then when it all blows up in our faces because _I am not a child and you don't get to decide my life for me_ you get angry and you shut down and you blame me and you punish me and I'm sick of it, Sebastian!"

"I am trying to do the right thing here, Kurt. For the first fucking time since I stopped you in the parking lot at Breadsticks I am putting you first!" Sebastian yelled. "I am trying to give you your life back. I am trying to make sure that you don't spend the rest of your life trapped in a marriage that you don't want, with a man who can't give you what you need, in a world that you don't belong in!"

"How do you know what I want?" Kurt demanded. "You never ask me, Sebastian! You speculate and assume and on a really good day you talk to Blaine but you never ask me what I want so how the hell would you know?"

"I'm trying to let you go!"

"Who the hell asked you to?"

"Kurt," Sebastian said, his hands flexing on the balcony railing. "I'm trying to tell you that you're free to go."

"Go?" Kurt repeated. " _Go where_?"

Sebastian blinked. "Wherever you want. Consider yourself free."

"Where am I supposed to go, back to Lima? Cause it's not like I can go back to Portland and pick up Sylvester's life since you took it upon yourself to burn it to the ground," Kurt seethed.

"Kurt-"

"And what about Olivia? Am I supposed to ride off into the sunset and leave our daughter behind?"

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep, shuddering breath. When he opened his eyes they were shiny with unshed tears. "You're a good father," he whispered. "I won't…she's my daughter and I won't be kept away and I won't lose her. Understand me here, I won't be cut out of her life but," Sebastian's throat closed up and tears tracked down his face as his control faltered, "Olivia's better off with you," he whispered.

"Bas-"

"I'll talk to Hunter, I'll make sure the settlement is fair…I'm gonna take care of you and Olivia-"

"Wait a minute, let's just stay on you and me for just a second here okay," Kurt said.

"Hunter can have the papers drawn up in a couple of days. There's no need to d-drag this out. We'll sign them and it'll…be over," Sebastian told him.

"This is unbelievable," Kurt said. "Here we go again," he scoffed.

"What?" Sebastian asked, confused.

"You!" Kurt screamed, stalking away from the balcony and slamming into the sitting room.

"Kurt, what-" Sebastian said, following him and reaching out for his husband.

"What do you mean what?" Kurt screamed, slapping Sebastian's hand away. "Here you go again, deciding for the both of us. No," Kurt said, shaking his head. "I'm not gonna do it and you can't make me. You can't make me, Sebastian. The days of you getting to call all the shots and make all the decisions are over."

Sebastian stared at Kurt in shock. "I dragged you back to me kicking and screaming," Sebastian pointed out to Kurt. "You told me that coming back to me and having Olivia live this life was the last thing you wanted."

"You broke into my home and threatened me and everyone that I loved. You practically kidnapped us, Sebastian! Of course I was angry and frustrated and afraid, what did you expect?" Kurt spat furiously.

"Kurt, you literally tried to run away from me."

"So I'm not allowed to freak out when my husband _the mob boss_ hunts me down like his last name is Winchester and literally makes me an offer I can't refuse?" Kurt questioned.

"You've been unhappy since the day I found you in Portland," Sebastian replied. "If Blaine hadn't stepped in this marriage would have been over a half dozen times by now."

"You don't know that," Kurt said shaking his head.

"What the hell did my mother say to you?" Sebastian asked Kurt. "What's the problem? There was a situation here and I'm doing my best to handle it-"

"A situation?" Kurt enunciated slowly. "Our marriage, _our family_ is a _situation_ now?"

"Jesus fucking Christ if you're not on medication you need to be because you are bipolar as fuck!" Sebastian exploded. "I'm trying, Kurt! I'm…you're not a situation, okay. This marriage, the way it is, with all the lying, the mistrust, the secrets and _the fucking felonies_ , that's the situation!"

Kurt raised his hand and pointed to his wedding ring. "So what are you saying? Are you saying that this ring and everything that we've been through just means nothing? You get to decide that we're just done?"

"Why are you fighting me on this?" Sebastian whispered. "Me taking Olivia wasn't some spur of the moment decision. I planned it. I've bought a new house and I've picked out a preschool and hired a nanny. I have been planning to take her away from you from day one. I wanted to make you suffer and make you hurt and cause you the kind of p-pain you caused me. I was never going to let you see her again," Sebastian said viciously.

"And yet here I am," Kurt said defiantly. "You had your golden opportunity for revenge and your master plan all in place. You had Olivia. You had her all to yourself and you have me over a barrel, legally speaking. I broke…I don't even want to think about how many laws I've broken over the last three years. You could have destroyed me and taken our daughter and walked away clean, but you didn't and-"

"Why are you fighting me on this," Sebastian asked.

" _Because_ ," Kurt said, "Because…I mean, you can't just decide for everyone all the time. It's not…why are you giving up all the sudden? We…I thought we made some progress last night, you know? Why can't you just give it a little more time? I can do it if you can."

"Kurt-"

"And what about Olivia?"

"I'm not giving up my daughter," Sebastian said swiftly.

"She loves you. And I don't…I don't want to see you guys separated. I don't want her to lose you when she just got you back," Kurt said softly.

"She's not going to lose me," Sebastian swore. "I don't have to be your husband to be her father."

"Do you just not want me anymore?"

"How can you even ask me that? I always want you," Sebastian growled. "You are in my veins and I can't bleed you out but I…Kurt, I'm gonna make you happy even if it kills me."

Kurt let out a harsh laugh. "Do I look happy right now, Sebastian?" Kurt demanded.

"You will be-"

"Will you for once stop trying to tell me about _my_ feelings!"

"What the …why are you angry at me right now?" Sebastian wondered. "This isn't about what I did; this is about what I'm doing-what I'm trying to do, for you. I'm trying to do this for you, so what is this rage? What did I do wrong now?"

"Did it ever occur to you to _ask me_ what I wanted? Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don't want to be set free, that maybe I want you, maybe I want us?" Kurt demanded.

"You like things the way they are?"

"Of course not," Kurt said. "I don't like you and I being at each other's throats and I don't like all the secrets and lies or the danger or the way we keep hurting each other and betraying each other over and over again."

"Then you agree with me. Things can't stay the way they are."

"So we'll make changes," Kurt stated. "I can change."

"I can't."

"You can learn," Kurt insisted.

"Kurt, we don't…you want to fix things even when they're broken beyond repair and I want to control things even when that does more harm than good and neither of us can look the other in the face and tell the fucking truth-"

"I stole Blaine's phone and called Santana," Kurt cut in furiously. "I told her you'd taken my daughter and I wanted her back and I was willing to burn you at the stake to get her-"

"Kurt-"

"I was supposed to convince you to bring her back to New York and then we were going to go into a shelter that Santana had found and get a hearing with a sympathetic judge to grant me emergency custody," Kurt continued over Sebastian's interruption.

"Kurt, I-"

"When I came to you last night, in the beginning it was an act. I was trying to get you to trust me, to let your guard down so you'd bring Olivia home. And then…it wasn't anymore and I was confused," Kurt said. "Everyone kept telling me that it was obvious I didn't want to let you go and I was so conflicted because I've been so angry with you and things have been so hard. But then you brought me here and I talked to Ana and…I realized that I keep fighting _with_ you but not once have I fought _for_ _you, for us_. So this is me, fighting for you, fighting for us because I love you. I know that running didn't do much to convince you that I'm not a coward-"

"I've never thought you were a coward," Sebastian denied.

"Good, because I'm not. I would follow you into hell and pull you out of the clutches of Lucifer himself," Kurt swore. "I've accepted that as long as you're in this business we all are and that even if I walk away from you, Olivia and I will still be targets because even your enemies know that we are yours and you are ours. I'd rather be in danger with you than in danger without you. I know the risks and I know your heart, Bas. I know you love me and I know you love our daughter-"

"I knew that you talked to Santana," Sebastian cut Kurt off.

Kurt blinked. "How…I erased the call and-"

"Kurt, I have that entire house wired," Sebastian confessed.

"What… _why_? Do you know how creepy and paranoid that is?" Kurt asked

"My father was shot in the back of the head by the bodyguard he trusted most," Sebastian said bluntly. "It's not paranoia if people are actually out to get you."

"That…I don't know what to say to that," Kurt said.

"There's nothing you can say," Sebastian shrugged. "This is the life that I chose and these are the things that come with it. But you fell asleep and when I listened to the tapes I heard every word you said to Santana. So you see baby, it just keeps piling on. You keep a secret, I tell a lie and we keep this thing going for one more round and it just…I knew what you were planning and I was livid. And then I was a little impressed because you're such a fighter. Even when your back is to the wall you don't quit. But the thing is, I should never be the person putting your back to the wall, baby. I never want to be that person, Kurt. You don't deserve that. You shouldn't be shackled to somebody like me when you can be with a man that can love you the way you deserve to be loved. And I want that for you, that's why I think that you're better off if you just walk away while I have the strength to let you go."

"Maybe I don't have the strength to walk away," Kurt fired back. "You aren't perfect Sebastian but baby you are good. You are good to me and you are good for me and this right here proves it. Tell me the truth, what do you want, Sebastian" Kurt asked grabbing Sebastian's hands.

"Kurt-"

"What do you want, Sebastian?"

"You know what I want," Sebastian said, frustration etched across his face. "If it were up to me I'd have my ring on your finger, your body in my bed, our daughter in her room down the hall and neither of you would ever leave me. I want you, always."

"You have me."

"I shouldn't. There have been so many times when I really, really wanted to hurt you, do you know that?" Sebastian asked, kissing Kurt's fingertips before folding their hands between them and pressing them to his heart. "I thought I wanted to see you suffer but every single time it turned out to be a lie because seeing you hurt kills me. It suffocates me, a little bit at a time until I'm left choking on the ashes of how much I hate myself for hurting you and Kurt, all I've done is hurt you and I can't…I want you to be _happy_. I'm giving you an out right now. I'm not as strong as you are and I'm a lot more selfish and if you don't take it now I may never have it in me to do this again."

"The only thing I want out of is this endless loop where I hurt you and you hurt me and nothing ever gets resolved," Kurt said.

"That's what I'm trying to give you," Sebastian insisted.

"What you're trying to do is wrong," Kurt said gently. "It's wrong because the way out of this is to go through it. We go through it, we get to the other side and we learn to do better, to be better. I want you. I want us and I know you do too, at least I hope you do."

"How could you ever doubt that I want you," Sebastian asked, squeezing Kurt's fingers. "You're everything I ever wanted. I want you, Kurt. And not because my mother adores you, or because I owe Blaine and I promised him I'd always take care of you and not because of Olivia but because of you, who you are and what you are to me. _I always want you_. Even when I thought I hated you, I wanted you. I wanted you then, I want you now, I'll want you always. Don't you ever doubt that."

"Then stop trying to push me away and work with me," Kurt begged. "I want to be with you. I want us to have a family and I want us to be happy."

"Yeah but do you trust me," Sebastian asked quietly. "You want me, you love me, but do you trust me?"

"No," Kurt admitted softly.

"Good cause I don't trust you either," Sebastian replied.

"At least we're finally being honest with each other," Kurt said.

"Yeah, about how incredibly dysfunctional we are."

"It's a starting point," Kurt murmured, resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder.

"It's a pretty fucked up one," Sebastian noted.

"We are where we are," Kurt told him. "The way I see things Sebastian there's really only one important question that we can to answer here: Can we forgive each other? Because trust can be rebuilt but it's not going to happen without forgiveness."

"I don't want to let you go," Sebastian whispered, putting his arms around Kurt.

"Then give me a reason to stay," Kurt said, stepping back. "The truth is that you keep your heart tucked away behind this wall and the minute someone hurts you or disappoints you, you use that betrayal as an excuse to lock them out on the other side of it. And then it doesn't matter how hard they try to climb over it, or tunnel under it or knock through it, you won't give an inch. I won't live like that Sebastian, because I would love to stand here and promise to never hurt you or disappoint you again but as has recently been pointed out to me, life is not a fairytale. I am going to hurt you. I'm going to let you down and I'm going to fall short of your expectations. And you're going to do the same to me because we are human, we make mistakes, and we have flaws. But when that happens we have to be able to forgive each other or all the love in the world isn't going to matter."

"You don't think I'd like to let go of the past and put it down and just forgive?" Sebastian asked. "Baby I don't…I don't even know what forgiveness feels like. I don't even think I recognize it. I don't have that in me. That's just the truth of who I am."

"No," Kurt denied hotly. "That is the truth of who you choose to be. So make a different choice."

"You don't…it's not that easy! There is something missing in here," Sebastian said, tapping his chest. "There is something in my heart that is closed, Kurt. So help me out. What does forgiveness feel like? A weight being lifted off your chest, shackles coming off your feet, relief, release, what?"

"All of that," Kurt nodded. "All of that and a feeling of peace, or rightness and a kind of calm at knowing that the storm is over and you made it through to the other side."

"Okay, well I felt some of that today when I saw you with Olivia and then again outside when I was talking with Blaine and I looked up here and saw you standing with my mom," Sebastian admitted. "I felt that weight coming off, I felt that release."

"And that's a really powerful feeling, that feeling of being able to breathe and having that weight come off, but that's not complete forgiveness Bas," Kurt stated.

"Then what it is?"

"Forgiveness is when you look at someone and you see them, not the mistakes they've made or the lies they've told or the hurt they caused," Kurt said. "And it's when you can be in the moment with someone instead of always going back to the ways they've hurt you or planning ahead for all the ways they might again."

"Letting go," Sebastian whispered.

"Yeah," Kurt said softly. "It's letting go. Can you do that, Sebastian? Can you do that with me? Cause if not, if all you can see is the things I've done wrong and not what's in my heart then there's really not much left or many places for us to go."

"When I look in your eyes I see love," Sebastian said.

"That's not an answer."

"That's all I have."

"It's not good enough," Kurt said.

"What do you want from me," Sebastian demanded. "I force you to come back to me; you kick and scream about wanting out. I tell you that I'm letting you go; you tell me I don't get to make your choices for you. What do you want from me, Kurt?"

"I want you to want me, want us and our family enough to forgive me and let us try to move on. And if we try and it doesn't work, then fine," Kurt said. "I will give your divorce and we will share custody and we will go our separate ways but if that happens it won't be because you decided, all on your own, what's best for me. It will be because we decided, _together,_ to end our marriage."

"I love you. All I feel right now is love," Sebastian said. "Love for you, love for our daughter. We're a family, the three of us, and for you, for our daughter, Kurt I can try but I can't promise you anything else. I'm tempted to lie to you right now, tell you that I forgive you but I'm not there Kurt and I can't promise I ever will be but…I want to try."

Kurt gave Sebastian a watery smile. "I'm not there yet either," he confessed. "But I'm willing to try too."

"So we're gonna try. How is this different from-"

"Because you're not in charge anymore Sebastian," Kurt said. "I say this with love honey; you have the emotional maturity of a rock. Actually, I take that back because it's an insult to rocks."

"This is you trying to do what exactly?" Sebastian asked.

"This is me telling you how we're going to fix this," Kurt explained.

"Wait so, I can't dictate to you but you can to me?"

" _Yes_ ," Kurt said defiantly. "And you're going to listen to me because unlike you I have a plan that doesn't include kidnapping, blackmail or coercion."

"Well there you go taking all the fun out of everything already," Sebastian sighed.

"You'll just have to make do," Kurt replied. "Here's what's going to happen. We're going to spend a few days here and let Olivia get to know her grandmother, mostly because I think if we tried to separate her from Olivia now we'd both end up underneath the rose bushes."

Sebastian laughed and put his arms back around Kurt. "Fair point."

"When we get back to New York, Olivia and I are going to move out."

Sebastian reared back as if Kurt had slapped him. "What?"

Kurt grabbed Sebastian and pulled him back towards him. "You and I need some breathing room, Sebastian. I need to be in my own space and have the freedom to make my own choices and you need to give that to me. You also need some time to come to terms with everything that's happened and learn to trust me again and I know you Bas, you're going to need your space and if I'm there I'm not going to want to give it to you. I'm gonna push you to share things with me you aren't ready to share and it's gonna make you defensive and then you're shut down and pull away, I'm gonna get angry and feel hurt and just…we need this. We can't go back, Sebastian we have to move forward."

"In separate houses?"

"At first," Kurt replied. "Olivia and I will bunk with Blaine until we find our own place-"

"I'll find you a place-"

"Sebastian-"

"This isn't me being controlling," Sebastian said quickly. "There are security concerns and-"

"Fine," Kurt said. "We'll pick a place together. One that addresses all your security concerns and that I feel comfortable in."

"So we live apart and what Kurt? How does that bring us back together?"

"It eases the pressure for one thing," Kurt said. "We'll both have neutral corners to go back to…after counseling sessions."

"I'm sorry what?" Sebastian asked.

"We're going to marriage counseling."

"Like hell we are."

"I know you don't like-"

"I'm not gonna do it," Sebastian swore, walking away from Kurt. "I'm not gonna let some stranger in my head, poking around where they have no business being. How the hell is someone who doesn't know a damn thing about us supposed to tell us how to fix what's broken?"

"How are we supposed to fix it when we broke it in the first place," Kurt asked quietly. "We need help, Bas. _Objective help_. We need to learn how to talk to each other and how to rebuild trust and how to love each other without hurting each other and we can't do that alone."

"I'm not comfortable with this," Sebastian said.

"Neither am I," Kurt admitted. "Between your control issues and my ability to rationalize and compartmentalize our therapist is probably going to end up needing a therapist. I'm not comfortable with the idea of letting some stranger into the middle of us either but we need help so I'm willing to do it. For you, for Livvie, I'm willing to do it. You keep saying you'd do anything for me. Do this for me. Do this for us. Bas, do this for you."

Sebastian ran a hand over his face and exhaled. "You and Olivia are everything to me. If this is what I have to do to prove that…then I'll do it. I won't like it, I probably won't make it easy, but I'll do it."

Kurt stepped forward and folded himself into Sebastian's arms. "Thank you," he whispered softly. Sebastian didn't respond; instead he framed Kurt's face with his hands, staring deep into his eyes before covering his mouth with a gentle yet possessive kiss.

Sebastian let himself drown in the sensation of kissing his husband. He'd convinced himself that he'd be forced to let go of Kurt so to have him in his arms free from the burden of secrets and lies and ever looming specter of the next potential betrayal was like a gift. Kurt tasted like sweetness and light, like pure unfiltered joy. Kissing Kurt was like getting back everything he'd thought he'd lost and Sebastian ached to continue kissing him, to mark him and claim him as his own.

At the touch of Sebastian's lips against his Kurt melted into the kiss, claiming and being claimed in return. He swept his tongue across Sebastian's bottom lip, teeth nipping gently until Sebastian granted him entrance. The slick slip and slide of their tongues over and around each other as they explored one another fanned the flames of their desire and Kurt pressed Sebastian closer to him, his hands roaming possessively all over his body.

Sebastian tangled his tongue with Kurt's and plundered every inch of Kurt's mouth, simply taking the pleasure he sought and demanding Kurt seek satisfaction in turn. The need for breath finally drove Kurt to break the kiss, turning his head away with a low moan.

They stared at each other for one long, unbroken moment until Sebastian held out his hand to Kurt.

"Let's go get our little girl."

As he slipped his hand into Sebastian's Kurt knew that he was once again choosing a life for himself and his daughter colored with ever varying shades of gray and shadowed by the ever present threat of violence but this time he had chosen that life with his eyes wide open, illusions shattered and misconceptions corrected. He knew that he'd have to make compromises and sacrifices and that he'd have to find a way to learn to live with the harsh, cold realities of what being married to Sebastian Smythe and being in the Smythe family meant. He knew that he'd have to let go of certain dreams he'd had for Olivia's future and work twice as hard to make sure that she grew up with a strong moral center but Kurt had made his bed and as long as Sebastian was there next to him, he was content to lie in it.

* * *

I want to be clear on something: There is **NOTHING** demeaning about working in the service industry. The reason it was so for Analise was because it was Alexander's way of "putting her in her place". It was his way of forcing her into a situation where she had to service him and he could feel that she was not on his level but was beneath him. I personally have **NOTHING** but respect for people in the service industry and it's a huge pet peeve of mine and I think it's the worst kind of character flaw when people are rude, belittling, condescending and superior to those who work in service. They aren't easy jobs to do, they people who do them put up with a lot of things that they shouldn't have to and don't get paid nearly what they deserve and should be treated with respect. /soap box moment.


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian travel the rocky road to reconciliation and try to prove that even though life may not be a fairytale it doesn't mean there's no such things as happy endings.
> 
> It's not an easy task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to explore some uncomfortable topics such as emotional abuse, abusive relationships, unhealthy relationships, power dynamics and childhood trauma. Just be aware going in that although the exploration is purposely left at surface level, it does take place so if you're particularly sensitive to these topics please heed the warnings.
> 
> * * *

" _I know that you're nervous about this, just remember that Dr. Marler came highly recommended and she's going to be asking us things that might not necessarily be comfortable for either one of us-," Kurt began._

" _Look I'm here aren't I?" Sebastian snapped. "As long as the bitch doesn't try to tell me what to do, or to feel, what to think we're gonna be fine."_

" _Ooookay," Kurt said slowly. "And that right there is what I'm talking about. We're here for help about our marriage, Sebastian and it might get counterproductive if you get angry and defensive anytime we have to focus on you."_

" _I'm here Kurt," Sebastian whispered. "I'm doing the best I can."_

" _And I appreciate that," Kurt said, squeezing Sebastian's hand. "But we're here to figure out how to rebuild our marriage and through that process you might hear some things about yourself that you might have a little difficulty accepting and-"_

" _And you won't?"_

" _Fine," Kurt said through clenched teeth. "We might have to confront some truths about ourselves that are unpleasant and take things so personally that we don't get anywhere."_

" _Fine."_

" _Fine."_

" _Fucking fantastic."_

" _Sebastian!"_

" _Mr. and Mr. Smythe…I'm Dr. Marler. Are you ready to begin?"_

* * *

_Sebastian drove by the brownstone Kurt had pointed at without so much as slowing down._

" _Sebastian, that the was the-"_

" _Yeah, no you and Olivia aren't moving into that place," Sebastian said bluntly, cutting Kurt off._

" _Excuse me," Kurt said his voice icy and hard. "I was bringing you by to show you the place, not to get your permission. It's perfect for us. There's a park right down the sidewalk and it's right off the expressway and only a block from the subway and there's-"_

_Sebastian jerked the steering wheel to the right and pulled over, parking haphazardly in the first place he saw. "Exactly Kurt. It's right off the expressway and a block from the subway and that means that anybody who grabs either of you would be gone, in the wind in less than five minutes. The park is too close, too many people running in and out; it's too hard to get a read on who belongs in the neighborhood and who doesn't. The house is the first house on the block, no one has to get by anyone else to get to you and there's no place to set up proper security. I don't care about the art deco or the hardwood floors or whatever else got your panties wet, that place is a logistical nightmare and you're not moving in there."_

_Kurt glared at Sebastian. "Fine," he said through clenched teeth. "But, and here's a thought, maybe if you tell me what kind of things I'm supposed to be looking for in a home instead of waiting until I find something that I like and then making me feel like shit for not knowing that it's all wrong, this might go easier."_

_Sebastian took a deep breath, flexed his hands on the steering wheel and nodded. "You're right. That was an asshole move on my part and I'm sorry. It's just…I know you guys are safe with Blaine and I would rather you just stay there or at least stay in the building."_

" _I know this is hard for you and I get that," Kurt said. "I accept your apology but don't let it happen again. And I'd love to stay in Blaine's building but there isn't anything available."_

" _That so," Sebastian asked thoughtfully._

" _Mmm hmm," Kurt replied. "It was the first place I looked actually. I've always loved that building. The location, the view, the amenities…it's perfect. It's just not an option."_

" _Well you never know," Sebastian said as he started the car. "This is New York. Something could open up tomorrow."_

" _Maybe," Kurt replied absently. "But I won't hold my breath."_

_A week later Kurt was moving into Blaine's building, taking possession of a two bedroom loft that had suddenly become available._

* * *

" _Are you sitting here trying to tell me that I'm some kind of an abusive husband?" Sebastian asked menacingly._

" _That's not at all what I said, Mr. Smythe. What I asked you was if you thought that any of your behavior could be looked at-"_

" _I have never raised a hand to him in anger," Sebastian maintained._

" _No you haven't," Kurt said gently. "But your temper and some of the things you do when you're angry can be a little…disturbing."_

" _I don't hit you. I would never hit you, you know that."_

" _Of course you wouldn't," Kurt agreed. "You'll just get mad and throw something or threaten someone or call me a whore-"_

" _Are you kidding me with this shit," Sebastian demanded. "You put every single suit I own in the tub and set them on fire last week because I was in a business meeting and had to miss one of these joyful little gatherings!"_

" _I'm not saying that my behavior is perfect-"_

" _Oh well hell, don't strain yourself stepping down off your pedestal-"_

" _You aren't abusive Sebastian but you…your temper is a problem," Kurt stated._

" _My temper?"_

" _Every time you yell or break something or someone we all scramble and cover for you," Kurt continued._

" _Where the hell is this coming from?"_

" _It's the truth! Me, Blaine, Jeff, Hunter, all of us! We all hit the ground running trying soothe the savage beast and mitigate the damage and you get left completely off the hook and I don't want our daughter to be one more person who learns how to handle you," Kurt yelled. "I want you to get this under control before she's old enough to start walking on eggshells like the rest of us."_

" _What are you even talking about right now?"_

" _You get vicious, Sebastian," Kurt said softly. "Someone makes you angry or they hurt you and you go into a very dark place and you lose your temper and you lash out and you make it seem like whatever you say and whatever you do is the other person's fault for upsetting you in the first place and then we all trip over ourselves apologizing for you."_

" _I have a temper," Sebastian admitted. "So do you. We're volatile. We always have been."_

" _I know," Kurt admitted. "And I'm not saying I don't contribute. God knows I give as good as I get but I don't think you realize some of the things you say and what you do when you're upset. It's like you told me before about your father-"_

" _Don't you dare bring my father into this," Sebastian warned Kurt._

" _Your father is at the root of all of this," Kurt insisted. "I know that you loved him and he loved you but Sebastian that man damaged you and-"_

" _I'm done. You hear me, I'm done with this!" Sebastian swore as he stormed from the room._

* * *

_"Sometimes I still find it truly bizarre that I'm dating_ _my husband," Sebastian said as he stared at Kurt over the top of his wine glass._

" _Well, Dr. Marler suggested we do this and I think it's a good idea," Kurt said, cutting into his steak. "Being able to spend time together, just enjoy each other's company and reconnect with no pressure, no expectations, and no-"_

" _Sex?" Sebastian said huskily. "Because I gotta tell you, keeping my hands off of you these last couple of months has been torture."_

_Kurt flushed and his eyes darkened with arousal. "It hasn't exactly been a picnic in the park for me either," he admitted. "But we tend to try to solve all our problems in bed and we can't do that this time so sex is off the table for the time being."_

" _It's off the table, off the kitchen counter, off the living room sofa," Sebastian counted, ticking the locations off on his fingers one by one. "I'm not saying that Dr. Marler hasn't been helpful. We've been getting along better, talking more, disagreeing without anybody breaking the law-"_

" _Here here," Kurt said, raising his glass._

" _But this no sex thing, I mean, it's been a couple of months now. I think we've proven that we can effectively utilize other problem solving techniques and forms of conflict resolution," Sebastian said, licking his lips suggestively._

" _We really have been very good," Kurt agreed._

" _So, so good," Sebastian said._

" _And the point of the exercise was for us to recognize that our physical relationship can't be used to compensate for the flaws in our emotional relationship and I think that we've done that," Kurt went on._

" _Indeed we have," Sebastian nodded, motioning to the waiter._

" _And we've both learned that sex isn't a coping mechanism and shouldn't be wielded as a weapon and used to control or avoid situations or circumstances," Kurt continued._

" _Absolutely."_

" _So really I'd say that we've met our objective and gotten the point of the lesson that Dr. Marler wanted to teach us."_

" _I couldn't agree more," Sebastian said as he signed the check._

" _Sebastian."_

" _Yes dear?"_

" _I'm going to suck you off in the middle of the_ _Le Bernardin if you don't take me back to the penthouse and fuck me right now."_

" _While normally I'd be on board for a little exhibitionism, it's been far too long since I've had my hands on you and I can't wait to get you back in my bed," Sebastian said, standing up and holding out his hand to Kurt._

_Sebastian pinned Kurt to the wall of the elevator as they rode up to the top floor and Kurt groaned and slid his hands into Sebastian's hair, yanking on the short strands and angling Sebastian's head so that he could control their kiss. Sebastian rocked his hips against Kurt as they traded desperate, biting kisses._

_They nearly tumbled out of the elevator when the doors opened and Kurt practically dragged Sebastian to the front door._

" _Hey Boss, it's good to see that your date went well and-"_

" _Sex now talk later," Kurt growled at Sebastian, shoving him past a smirking Jeff and into the penthouse. As soon as the door shut behind them, Sebastian palmed Kurt's ass, lifting him up and planting him up against the wall. Kurt wrapped his legs around Sebastian's waist and shoved his jacket off of his shoulders while Sebastian ripped off Kurt's tie and popped the buttons off of his dress shirt so that he could have access to suck and bite on the pale, vulnerable column of his throat._

" _Bed," Kurt gasped. "Bed, bed, bed now."_

_Sebastian reluctantly let Kurt go and they stumbled upstairs, bumping into walls and nearly falling over twice as they left a trail of clothes on their way into the bedroom. Once inside Kurt surprised Sebastian by shoving him onto his back onto the bed. "Want you so bad," he said quickly stepping out of pants and boxers, "I'm gonna pin you to the bed and ride your cock."_

" _Jesus fuck," Sebastian swore, pulling off his undershirt and stripping out of his boxers._

_Kurt pounced on the bed and began mouthing Sebastian's cock, tracing the vein with the tip of his tongue and swirling around the head before taking it deeper into his mouth with hotwetperfect suction. Sebastian moaned and gripped the sheets, biting his lip hard._

_Kurt pulled off Sebastian's cock with a filthy pop and gave his husband a wicked smile. "I'm going to hold you down, ride you hard and fast until I come. You're not gonna flip me over, you're not gonna control the pace, you're not even gonna touch me until I get off and you're going to love every fucking minute of it. And if you're a good boy, when I'm done, I'm gonna let you come in me, fill me up until I'm leaking and mark me as yours inside and out."_

_Sebastian shuddered and made eye contact with Kurt before slowly and deliberately stretching his hand up, wrists crossed and resting them on the pillow above his head._

_Kurt leaned over Sebastian and quickly retrieved the lube off the nightstand. He worked himself open quickly, with a generous amount of lube and starting with two fingers, ignoring the slight burn and swiftly working in a third and then a fourth._

_Sebastian watched Kurt, his gaze dark and predatory raking over the long, lean lines of his husband's body. His hips jerked up involuntarily at the sight of Kurt preparing himself to take Sebastian's cock. "Damn baby, four?"_

" _It's been awhile," Kurt grunted in response, before leaning down to brush a gentle kiss onto Sebastian's lips. He then straightened up, straddled Sebastian and adjusted them both to get them into position lowered himself down onto Sebastian's cock._

_Kurt moaned loudly at the stretch and the sting of taking Sebastian inside of him and when he felt Sebastian's fingers curling around his hips, digging in hard enough to leave marks he grabbed Sebastian's hand and pushed them back into the pillow. "I told you no touching," he reminded Sebastian, tightening his grip of Sebastian's wrists, hanging on hard enough to leave bruises as he slid up and down on Sebastian's cock. "You feel so good, always feel so good, all mine, just for me," Kurt rasped._

" _I'm yours, just yours," Sebastian choked out, straining slightly against Kurt's grip but not really fighting it, allowing himself to be held down and letting Kurt take what he wanted. He began to match Kurt's pace, thrusting up and grinding into Kurt at a furious pace._

" _Come on, come on, come on, that's it," Kurt praised. "I love you so much, you feel so good, fill me so full, gonna come, I'm gonna come all over you," Kurt swore._

" _Yeah baby, come on, come," Sebastian moaned, rocking up into Kurt's gripping heat and pressing the head of his cock against Kurt's prostrate with every thrust._

_Kurt clenched down on Sebastian's cock, a near scream ripped from his throat as he climaxed, coming in thick spurts all over Sebastian's chest and stomach. He dropped forward onto his elbows, hips rocking slightly as he worked through his orgasm. "Come on Bas, come baby, come for me," he ordered. No sooner had he said the words than Sebastian stiffened and jerked underneath him, coming apart with a series of shivery moans and stuttering gasps, pumping hot, thick and deep inside of Kurt._

_Sebastian tried to slip out of Kurt's grasp but Kurt didn't let go, instead angling his head so that he could capture Sebastian's lips in a slow, deep kiss, licking into Sebastian's mouth and sucking on his tongue as they rode out the aftershocks of their orgasms together._

" _I love you too," Sebastian whispered as Kurt pulled himself up and off of Sebastian and curled himself into Sebastian's arms. Kurt sighed happily, snuggled closer to Sebastian, and lightly fingered the red marks of ownership around Sebastian's wrists that would blossom into bruises overnight._

* * *

_"Would you say that your relationship is abusive?"_

_"No," Sebastian answered immediately._

_"I wouldn't no, but I can see how on the outside looking in it might appear that way," Kurt said._

_"Excuse me?" Sebastian bristled._

" _Sebastian…the way that you grew up shaped you. Not all of it was bad but it left its mark," Kurt said gently. "And there's a very angry, scared little boy inside you and it really doesn't take much for him to lash out."_

" _So what are you saying to me, Kurt? You think I've abused you?" Sebastian asked._

" _We are a lot alike," Kurt smiled. "I think that's what created our initial rivalry and ultimately attracted us to each other. We're impulsive, we're biting, we're judgmental, we're always convinced that we're right and when our tempers flare it's not pretty."_

" _You're dodging the question," Sebastian said._

" _I love you but there are times when our relationship is dysfunctional and volatile," Kurt answered. "I worry about that. I worry that we're going to reach a point where we damage each other and it can't be fixed and we become toxic to one another. I mean, think about the way we fight Bas. Don't you think we take things too far? The yelling and things breaking and you calling me a faithless whore and me calling you soulless bastard. I know that I have a temper too but I have never seen anyone get as angry as you do and your rage Sebastian is overwhelming. In those moments I'm not your husband or the man you love or the father of your child, you see me and all you see is the enemy. You take my weaknesses and you zero in on them and you hammer away at me and dismantle me piece by piece and when I stop and think about the way you've made me feel sometimes I am horrified, not at you, but at myself. I'm horrified that I put up with it, that I rationalize it, that I participate in it and I'm horrified that I dragged our innocent little girl into the middle of it."_

" _We don't fight like that around her," Sebastian defended._

" _You pushed me against the door of my apartment and we had hate sex when she was just down the hall," Kurt whispered._

" _I'm sorry," Sebastian said softly. "That should not have happened and I am ashamed that I took us there. I have a temper, it's bad and you've seen the worst of it. I've yelled at you, I've thrown things, I've called you names and I've probably grabbed you when I had no business putting my hands on you but you aren't exactly an innocent bystander in this, Kurt."_

" _I never claimed to be."_

" _And I'm not saying it's your fault," Sebastian went on. "So let's be clear. I am owning my part in this. I was wrong. Period. But you aren't a hothouse flower. How many times have you deliberately said something to piss me off or done something to hurt me because I pissed you off?"_

" _Way too many to count," Kurt admitted._

" _You purposely provoke me and you give as good as you get."_

" _That I do," Kurt admitted._

" _Okay so, I mean we're not the poster children for healthy and functional but we're not so far off the rails that it's abusive," Sebastian said._

" _I think we've hurt each other and whether you want to call it abuse or something else it doesn't matter, it needs to change," Kurt maintained. "Think about our daughter, Bas. What if a few years from now she's with someone and she lies, or she disappoints them or she makes them angry. Would you want her to be stay with someone who calls her a whore and or sets her clothes on fire because that's what's familiar to her? Would you want her to stay with someone did to her the things we do to each other?"_

* * *

" _Sebastian doesn't love easily but when he does he loves with everything he has. The problem is that he doesn't know how to sustain it and as deep as he loves is how much love he needs back and if he doesn't get it he shatters. I hurt him, more than once and I hate myself for that," Kurt confessed._

" _How do you think Sebastian feels about that?" Dr. Marler asked._

" _I don't know. I know that he loves me. Even when we were apart or he was with other people, I know that he always loved me. He just didn't always like me and the feeling has been mutual. He's wanted me to hurt and he's wanted to punish me but I've always known that even when he said he hated me and he didn't want anything to do with me all he really wanted was for me to love him, to prove it and I did. Over and over again but then I hurt him the worst possible way and now I don't know the way back from that."_

" _It sounds as if the two of you have a great deal of complexity to your relationship."_

" _We always have," Kurt laughed. "Sebastian and I have been all over the emotional map. He's been my mortal enemy and now he's the love of my life and it's never been easy between us but it's also never been boring."_

" _Do you think you're good for one another?"_

" _I think that we have been before and I hope that we can be again."_

* * *

" _Mr. Hummel?"_

" _Hummel-Smythe," Kurt corrected automatically, looking up from his desk to find a man around his father's age in an expensive suit and horn rimmed glasses standing in the doorway to his classroom._

" _My apologies Mr. Hummel-Smythe," the man smirked stepping into the room and closing the door behind him._

_Kurt's internal alarm went off and he immediately rose from his seat and walked to the end of the desk putting space between the two of them. "What can I do for you?"_

" _I come with respect, Mr. Hummel-Smythe. My name is Gavin Tarrino and I wish to discuss your husband with you."_

_Panic clawed up Kurt's throat and he found himself regretting fighting Sebastian when he'd wanted to put a guard on him while he was at work. Gavin Tarrino, whoever he was, clearly meant to intimidate Kurt as a way to send a message of some type to Sebastian._

" _I don't speak for my husband," Kurt said shortly. "And I am at work-"_

" _So I'll make this fast," Gavin said, stalking towards Kurt. "I see new business opportunities for myself here in New York-"_

" _And this concerns me how?"_

" _Your husband has been most uncooperative," Gavin said smoothly, advancing on Kurt._

" _I'm sure Sebastian has his reasons. As I said earlier, I don't speak for my husband nor do I involve myself in his business affairs," Kurt said, refusing to back down. "If you have a business proposal take it to Sebastian. Now, unless you have a child in one of my classes that you wish you discuss this conversation is over."_

" _I'm afraid not," Gavin said, smiling dangerously at Kurt. "I've attempted to foster a spirit of cooperation with Sebastian and he has rebuffed me at every turn. Now, I'm afraid he's put me in a position where I have no choice but to go against his wishes-"_

" _I wouldn't advise that, Mr. Tarrino-"_

" _Please call me Gavin."_

" _Gavin," Kurt repeated sweetly. "And you can call me Mr. Hummel-Smythe. Now that we know each other, get out."_

" _Feisty, I like it," Gavin grinned._

" _You have got to be kidding me," Kurt said, his face twisting in revulsion._

" _I understand that you and Sebastian are currently separated," Gavin continued._

" _I'm not discussing my marriage or my husband with you so it's best you leave now," Kurt ordered._

_Gavin grinned and shook his head. "With a mouth like that you're lucky you have such a pretty face."_

" _Too bad I can't say the same for you."_

" _Cute," Gavin said lowly. "But back to business-"_

" _We have no business," Kurt snapped._

" _I have a shipment coming in Friday morning," Gavin continued. "In order to move my product I need to go through Sebastian's territory. He's been most unaccommodating until now. My shipments have been destroyed, hijacked, even intercepted by the cops."_

" _Good for him," Kurt said brightly._

" _But that's going to change," Gavin said menacingly. "Because you're going to go tell him that it would most advantageous to let this one through. Because if he keeps taking important things from me, well…I may have to start taking important things from him."_

" _Excuse me?"_

" _And he has so much to lose doesn't he," Gavin asked._

" _Judging by the wedding band on your finger so do you," Kurt said evenly._

" _Careful now you don't want to say something you might regret," Gavin warned._

" _I'm pretty sure I won't regret a single thing I say to you," Kurt replied. "Now I've told you-repeatedly-that I don't involve myself in my husband's business matters. The fact that you even came here and sought me out is unacceptable but then to threaten me? Sebastian won't stand for this."_

" _I don't intend to give him much of a choice," Gavin replied. "Don't be like your husband, Kurt. Show a little respect and don't make his mistakes. Think seriously about my request before you answer me. I'm merely asking for a little cooperation here, what you say next will affect all of us for a long time."_

" _You keep using the word respect but you've yet to show any," Kurt said, taking a step towards Gavin. "You come to my place of work and ask me to go to my husband and tell him how to run his business, to agree to do something that he obviously wants no part of, something he would never do. How dare you. How dare you expect me to act as if my husband's decisions mean nothing, as if the code that he lives by can just be ignored. You tell me that my husband makes mistakes and you think that you can intimidate me into going against him. You want me to run to him like some scared little rabbit who doubts his ability to protect and defend the people he loves, to basically spit in his face, is that you'd have me do?" Kurt demanded._

" _Calm down kid, it isn't like that," Gavin said, attempting to placate Kurt._

" _It is exactly like that," Kurt said. "You told me to think about your request before I answer you, well I have. My answer is no way in hell. No, actually my answer is you better run. Because I am going to go to Sebastian and not to tell him to work with you, but to tell him how you came here and attempted to do an end run around his wishes and his decisions and attempted to use fear and intimidation in order to do it."_

" _You're got gumption and I can appreciate that but you're naïve. Now I came here in good faith-"_

" _Like hell you did. You came here because you thought I was the weak link, the easy target. Well Gavin, you thought wrong. I will honor any decision Sebastian makes the same way I honor him as my husband but I will never disgrace him by allowing one of his enemies to use me or our daughter as a weapon against him."_

" _You've got guts. Too bad you don't have brains," Gavin growled._

" _Oh I think you're the one playing the part of the Scarecrow in the delightful little production," Kurt returned. "Now what is it gonna take for you to realize that your business here is done and for you to get the hell out of my sight?"_

" _I'm not done with you yet," Gavin said, moving into Kurt's personal space._

" _Well I am beyond done with you. You are beneath me," Kurt spat, "And I won't waste another second of my time on a despicable pig like you."_

" _I didn't even bring my gun because everybody knows you're soft," Gavin snarled, lunging at Kurt, grabbing him around the throat and pushing him back into the blackboard. "Your husband hasn't taught you how to show the proper respect. Maybe it's time somebody did. Maybe I should show Sebastian's little wifey how it's done. If you were a real man I'd just beat the crap out of you and oomph-" he grunted_

_Suddenly pain erupted sharp and bright throughout Gavin's abdomen and twin waves of nausea and dizziness crashed over him, sending him sprawling to the floor cupping his groin._

" _And if you were a real man this might be a fair fight," Kurt hissed, kicking Gavin repeatedly in the ribs until the other man curled up in the fetal position. "You know, Sebastian told me once that in this business threatening someone's family is a death sentence. I guess it's a good thing that I don't have any moral objections to the death penalty. I researched it once. Did you know there are five ways to legally execute someone," Kurt asked casually, stalking around Gavin as he gasped for air. "Hanging, firing squad, gas chamber, lethal injection and my personal favorite," Kurt listed, reaching into his jacket pocket and removing a taser, "electrocution," he said coldly as he aimed and fired, sending bolts of electricity jolting through Gavin before blackness overtook him._

_When Gavin woke up he was tied to a chair in a cold, dark room._

" _Welcome back Sleeping Beauty," Sebastian said as he stepped out of the shadows._

" _Smythe-"_

" _Shhh," Sebastian said, undoing his cufflinks and rolling the sleeves up on his dress shirt. "We don't have anything left to discuss."_

* * *

" _So what are you thinking, blues, blacks, reds, what?" Kurt fumed._

" _Kurt what the hell are you talking about?"_

" _New bedding, you need new bedding, you know so the bedroom looks nice."_

" _The bedroom?"_

" _Yeah, the all important bedroom, otherwise known as the only room in the entire house where I am on equal footing with you," Kurt seethed. "The only room in our home where I don't risk being screamed at for having an independent thought."_

" _Do not make this about equality or any of that crap because this isn't about that. This is about my business-"_

" _No this is about you and your need to control me and mold me into your ideal of the perfect little supportive mafia husband who doesn't speak unless spoken to and does whatever you want, however you want!" Kurt screamed. "Maybe it would make you happy if I moved back in here and just baked cookies all day and redecorated every few months and sucked your brains out through your cock every night like a good little-"_

" _Kurt go ahead and do what you want," Sebastian yelled back. "Redecorate the penthouse, buy yourself a condo, rebuild a classic car, reopen your boutique, go back to work at Vogue, go back to school and become a fucking brain surgeon if that's what you want to do. But understand me, there is one thing you will never do, you will never have a say in my business. What happened with Tarrino was an anomaly that never should have happened and it was my fault but it won't happen again. I will burn this entire city to the ground before I ever let you get that involved in my business again."_

" _I don't want to be a mobster Sebastian; I just want to be treated like an equal. I just want you to respect me. Let me know when there's trouble so that I'm not blindsided."_

" _There's always trouble!" Sebastian fired back. " Kurt, please understand that this is a place that you can't go. This is a thing that I can't share. This is my cross to bear. Leave me to it."_

* * *

_"What do you think has held you back from forgiving Kurt?"_

_"I'm not...I know he's sorry but I don't know if he really understands what he did," Sebastian answered._

_"I do," Kurt said quietly. "I didn't at first but now I do. It's about more than just Olivia or the way I left; it's that I left in the first place. It's that I promised you I'd never violate your trust and then I did exactly that._ _I'm sorry that I betrayed you. I'm sorry that I left you and I broke my promises. I'm sorry I hurt you. I do love you. I never stopped and I never will," Kurt said, softly._

" _Kurt, it's not easy for me you know," Sebastian said. "I want to, for once in my life, I want to forgive you but it's not what I do best. I have all this anger inside of me and I use it as a weapon to hurt the people who hurt me and I know I've hurt you, a lot. And all that did was keep us apart, for years. And you know I'm always going to resent the hell out of the time that stolen from us but I think maybe I needed those years because they showed me that you're it for me."_

" _Do you trust me?"_

" _It's hard to trust you when I'm always so fucking terrified you're going to leave me," Sebastian admitted._

" _You always think someone's going to leave you but the thing you don't seem to understand is you push them away," Kurt said gently. "The minute someone says they love you, you start testing them and you keep testing them until they fail and then you shut off and shut down because that's what's easy. You make it so eventually everybody has to leave because if they stay you're afraid they'll figure out that you're not worthy of love and you don't deserve it because you're not perfect, you have flaws, and that's not acceptable because that's what your dad taught you. Your whole life, he taught you that and I know that I failed, Bas. I failed you, I failed us, and I'm sorry, so sorry, but your father failed you too. And he lied to you. Because you are worthy and you are deserving and you know why I know that? Because I love you."_

" _I love you too. Even when I'm angry or disappointed. Even when you take our child and you leave me, Kurt it doesn't matter because I love you. And because I love you and I need you, I forgive you. I forgive you. I trust you with my heart and my soul and I forgive you."_

* * *

" _Gotcha!" Sebastian said as he snuck up behind Kurt and swept him up into his arms._

" _Sebastian! You scared me! I'm trying to work, what are you doing here?" Kurt asked._

" _I'm here to save you. Even dedicated music teachers need to eat and I know for a fact your classes are done for the day," Sebastian said as he grabbed Kurt's coat and bag and began marching him towards the door._

" _I have paperwork-"_

" _Paperwork can wait another day. I'm supposed to be dating my husband and since he cancelled on me earlier this week-"_

" _That was not my fault. Both Blaine and Olivia were sick and Hunter was absolutely useless. He brought him soup from a can, Bas. A can! I don't know why Blaine is dating him and I ended up having to take care them both and they were both being impossible and neither of them would let me leave," Kurt defended himself._

" _Excuses, excuses," Sebastian scoffed, twirling Kurt around and out the door. "I promise that we will sit down and write Hunter a detailed instruction manual on the care and feeding of Blaine Anderson, but not today. You rain checked me and I've come to collect. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, it's a beautiful day and we're going for a picnic in the park."_

" _It's so beautiful here," Kurt said a little while later as he sat on a blanket with Sebastian sipping champagne and being fed bites of cheesecake. "Thank you for this."_

" _I just want to make you happy," Sebastian replied._

" _You do," Kurt said. "Now put down your glass and lie back with me."_

" _Kurt, there are children playing right over there. I'm scandalized. And aroused," Sebastian teased._

" _Shut up," Kurt laughed. "We're going to play The Man Eating Wildebeest."_

" _Kinky…never heard of that one," Sebastian joked as he followed Kurt's instructions._

" _Oh my God, shut up," Kurt moaned. "You know when you look up at the sky and you pick out clouds and tell what they most resemble to you?"_

" _And that becomes a man eating wildebeest how?"_

" _My mom and I used to lie down in the grass and look up at the sky and pick out shapes and make up stories about them," Kurt said softly. "So one day she pointed out this cloud that looked like a man running and the cloud behind him looked like a wildebeest and thus the legend of the man eating wildebeest was born."_

" _Your mom sounds like she was fun," Sebastian said._

" _She was," Kurt told him. "But enough talk about my mom. Look up there," he said pointing up into the sky, "See that cloud, the big, puffy one? What's that look like to you?"_

" _A cloud."_

" _Sebastian!"_

" _Okay fine, it's a mountain lion."_

_Kurt gave Sebastian a bewildered look and shook his head. "Okay…fine. Now name it."_

" _His name is Rufus."_

" _Okay, Rufus the Mountain Lion. Now, what about that cloud over there, you see it?"_

" _Uh huh, that one is a microwave."_

" _Alright now, tell me a story about them," Kurt demanded._

" _Okay, well, what we have here is Rufus the Mountain Lion who is addicted to Hungry Man tv dinners," Sebastian said._

" _Mountain Lions do not use microwaves or eat tv dinners," Kurt laughed._

" _Rufus is a renaissance man," Sebastian claimed. "And he likes his tv dinners. He can't get enough of them."_

" _Well considering he's used to chasing his dinner down and eating it raw I suppose he would," Kurt giggled._

" _You think you can do better?" Sebastian challenged. "See that one right there? Tell me about it, stud."_

* * *

" _Oh goody we get to talk about my feelings," Sebastian sighed._

" _Sebastian, over the past few months it's been abundantly clear that you don't want to talk about your father or your family or anything that's not directly related to your marriage or your daughter," Dr. Marler stated._

" _Wow. That is some A plus deductive reasoning there Doc," Sebastian sneered._

" _Why don't you want to talk about your family or your childhood?"_

" _Because we can't jump in the TARDIS and change the past," Sebastian replied. I'm here to save my marriage, not discuss whether or not I got enough warm fuzzies as a child."_

" _Sebastian," Dr. Marler said gently. "Would it be too much to ask you to extend me a little bit of trust here?"_

" _Have you met me," Sebastian scoffed. "Check your session notes lady. For the last few months Kurt has done nothing but complain about my trust issues."_

" _Sebastian-"_

" _I have my Bachelor's you know. I did the college thing and I took Intro to Psych like everyone else," Sebastian cut her off._

" _And what did you learn in that class?"_

" _That everything is my parents fault, I wasn't hugged enough when I was a kid and I'm probably bipolar or have some other personality disorder," Sebastian listed. "But you know what, Doc? All that and a dollar gets you a bag of chips from the vending machine down the hall and doesn't change anything. I made it through to adulthood, I've made my choices and just like everyone else now I have to live with the consequences."_

" _So would you say you had a happy childhood? Good and loving parents?"_

" _My mother is the finest woman that I know," Sebastian said. "She is kind and gentle and loving and I have never doubted for even a moment that she adores me. I love my mother and I have always known how much she loves me back."_

" _And your father?"_

" _My father loved me too. He just wasn't as accessible as my mother was," Sebastian answered. "My father built an empire. He believed that everything had a price and so with him everything came at a cost."_

" _I realize that your father has passed on but let's imagine for a moment that he hasn't and he was put in charge of raising Olivia. What would happen to her?" Dr. Marler asked._

" _Nothing," Sebastian replied._

" _Nothing?"_

" _Nothing would happen to Olivia because I would never allow my father near her, not like that. I'd do anything I had to make sure that didn't happen," Sebastian said coldly._

" _You survived your father. So did your brother," Dr. Marler pointed out. "Why would Olivia be any different?"_

" _Christian didn't survive, he endured. There's a difference. And Olivia is nothing like us."_

" _How is she different?"_

" _She's her father," Sebastian answered. "She's Kurt. She's good and she's innocent and she's way, way too trusting and she absolutely believes that world is this magical, beautiful place full of adventures to have and friends to make and sweetness and rainbows and fucking gum drop lollipops and my father would stomp that right out of her. He would teach her that the world is dark and people are dangerous and trusting them is foolish and that there's no such thing as magic and there's no point in dreaming. No," Sebastian said shaking his head. "My father would be the worst thing for Olivia and I'd come back from the grave if I had to, if that kept him from wrecking her the way he-"_

" _The way he what Sebastian?"_

_Sebastian remained silent_

* * *

_"You've changed a lot these past few months," Sebastian remarked._

_"I had to. I don't think I changed the core of who I am but I had to learn how to balance who I am with how we live. I've made compromises but I haven't compromised myself and that's what's important."_

_"I'm sorry -"_

_"I'm not," Kurt interrupted. "Sebastian this is me, for the first time, accepting all of who you are. I'm not living in denial or pretending the bad things don't exist. I won't ever be able to do most of the things you do or be entirely comfortable with some of the more brutal and horrific aspects of what it takes for you to have the kind of power you have but I can live with it and I'm not running from it."_

_"So you had a lightbulb moment?"_

" _No. I don't think that anyone changes overnight. It's human nature to evolve so we just sort of…change a little every day. And you do some bad things, you make mistakes but you do some good things and you hope the good outweighs the bad," Kurt told Sebastian._

" _I haven't done a lot of good things," Sebastian shrugged._

" _That's not true. You love me, you love our daughter, and you keep us safe. You watch out for everyone and you never ask anyone to watch out for you," Kurt said._

" _It's better if I do it that way I know it won't get screwed up," Sebastian said._

" _You do it because you love us. And we love you. I know I've said that I needed time to come to terms with the way that you treated when you found me and for the affairs you had while I was gone and for just…everything," Kurt said._

" _I know," Sebastian said._

" _I thought about what you did to me. The way you treated me, the way it made me feel and how much it hurt. But I also know that you're sorry and I've seen you with Olivia and I know how much you love her," Kurt said._

" _I do."_

" _I know you do. And I also how hard it has been for you to live with that, especially since we started seeing Dr. Marler and shining some light on some of our darker places," Kurt said._

" _Good old Dr. Marler," Sebastian mumbled._

" _I know you Sebastian. I know you better than you know yourself and I know how hard it was for you to trust me again and to forgive and I know that you want me to tell you I forgive you too even though you won't ask and even though it may not even be fair of me to be angry with you," Kurt said._

" _Do you forgive me?" Sebastian whispered._

" _I love you Bas. And you're not responsible for everything that went wrong. I asked you to keep me in the dark and then I resented you for it. That wasn't fair. I left you and then I got angry when you didn't stay faithful. That wasn't fair either. I gave you up, I had no right to expect you to hold on when I'd let go. I was unfair and I was cruel. I was cruel to leave you the way I did and I was cruel to keep you from our daughter and I was cruel to violate your trust after knowing how hard it was for you to give it me and I was cruel to break your heart after convincing you that you could trust me with it. You forgave me for all of that and so really how can I do anything other than forgive you too? Because I love you and it's not fair of me to hold onto my hurts when I've asked you to let yours go. But mostly I forgive you because I want to. I love you and I trust you and I forgive you."_

_Sebastian took Kurt in his arms and kissed him softly._

* * *

" _We're gonna feed the ducks, go get some ice cream and then hang out in the park for a little bit, that sound like fun?" Sebastian asked Olivia as they walked hand in hand through the park._

" _It would be even more fun if Daddy stayed," Olivia said, looking up at Kurt and pouting._

" _This is your one on one time with Papa," Kurt said, dropping down to one knee. "He misses you a lot when you're with Daddy so he needs some special Olivia time," Kurt explained._

" _Do you want Daddy to go away?" Olivia asked Sebastian._

" _No sweetheart," Sebastian said, looking at Kurt. "I never want your Daddy to go away."_

* * *

" _No peeking, no cheating," Sebastian admonished Kurt as he guided him over the threshold._

" _Okay okay, I'll keep my eyes closed, I promise," Kurt said. "But you need to hurry up because you know I have the patience of a three year old when it comes to surprises."_

" _Now now now…go ahead and open them!" Sebastian said, as he situated Kurt in the middle of the room and removed his hand from over his eyes._

" _Oh Sebastian," Kurt breathed. "It's amazing! It's so perfect! The color of the walls and the fabrics and oh my God you got your mother to give us the Pissarro! Sebastian, I love it. I love everything about it, our house is perfect."_

" _So did it turn it how you wanted?"_

" _Better! It turned out better. You know why? You know why this place turned out so great? It's because we did it together. We picked out everything together. The furniture, the fabrics, the flooring, the finishes, it's just…it's us. This is our home. Our new home for our new start. I'm so happy right now. I love you so much," Kurt said happily._

" _I love you too," Sebastian said, pulling Kurt down onto the couch and kissing him until they were both breathless._

* * *

"Your daughter got into a scuffle with another student," the principal explained to Kurt. "They were out on the playground and got into a disagreement about whether or not the other child had cut in line and Olivia attacked him for no reason whatsoever."

"That's not true, Daddy!" Olivia cried. "He pushed me down and got my dress dirty so I got up and showed him how we do it in Lima Heights, just like Auntie Tana showed me," Olivia explained.

"And to think I was worried about Sebastian's influence," Kurt mumbled. "Olivia says she was defending herself so now I'm asking you, did you or any of the other teachers see this altercation take place?"

"Well no, but according to their teacher when she came over Olivia was wailing away on the poor boy."

"So where is this poor boy now," Kurt asked.

"Oh well Joshua Morrison and his family have been part of the Barnard Academy family for years. Both of his older siblings attended and his parents are very active in the PTA and booster club. I saw no reason to have him stay," he explained to Kurt.

"Ah ha," Kurt said, glaring daggers at the man. "So this Joshua told you that Olivia attacked him and you took his word over Olivia's."

"Joshua is a fine student-"

"As is my daughter."

"He's never gotten into any trouble before-"

"Fascinating. Neither has Olivia."

"I understand that you and your husband have recently reunited after a long separation. Now marital issues can have a negative impact on a child and just because the adults have reconciled it doesn't mean the child is unscathed. Perhaps you might want to have Olivia start seeing someone so that she can work on her anger issues," the principal suggested.

"Oh Olivia's anger issues are about to be least of your worries," Kurt growled.

"Ah, well, in any case. I'm going to need you to sign this acknowledgment that Olivia has been given her first strike. As you know we operate on a three strikes system and if you refuse to sign we will have no choice but to have her expelled."

Kurt nodded. "You've made yourself very clear," Kurt said. "And you know what? I'm sure this can be settled quickly and amicably. Just one moment, please."

Kurt reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He quickly dialed and waited for the other party to pick up.

"Hello? Kurt?" Sebastian answered.

"Hey sweetheart. I'm sorry to bother you but there's a problem at Olivia's school. I was going to take care of it all on my own but I think that this is a situation that requires your involvement," Kurt explained.

Twenty minutes later found Kurt still refusing to sign any paperwork and the principal at the end of his patience.

"With all due respect, Mr. Hummel it's been twenty minutes and my time is valuable. Would you please just sign the acknowledgment?"

"I'm not signing anything without Olivia's father present," Kurt maintained.

"I assure you Mr. Hummel this is a fairly simple situation. If you don't sign the acknowledgement then I'll be forced to have Olivia expelled and you and your husband will have forfeited her tuition," he informed Kurt.

"You cannot be serious," Kurt said flatly.

"I assure you I am. My goodwill only extends so far and the school does have rules and no matter how…lax you may with her at home while she is in our care she will be required to meet the same standard of behavior and-"

"Shut your mouth you pompous ass," Kurt seethed.

"Mr. Hummel!"

"You have to put a dollar in the naughty jar now Daddy," Olivia announced.

"I'm not signing a damn thing that says that my daughter did anything wrong and if you don't stop insinuating that she's some sort of problem child or that our home is somehow below your standards I'm going to kick your ass myself," Kurt thundered.

"Three dollars Daddy," Olivia chirped.

"I do not appreciate being talked to in this manner!"

"Well that's just too damn bad for you," Kurt snapped.

"Four dollars."

"I'm not signing anything and furthermore I expect an apology for the way my daughter and I have been treated here today."

"Then we have a serious problem."

"Excuse me but I don't see a problem at all," Sebastian announced, stepping into the room flanked by Shane and Jeff. "Hey sweetie pie," he said gathering Olivia onto his lap and taking a seat next to Kurt.

"And you are?"

"Principal Monroe meet Olivia's father, Sebastian Smythe. Sebastian, this is Principal Monroe. Principal Monroe is new here," Kurt explained, making the introductions.

"Ah yes, I seem to recall that Principal Lee retired at the end of last quarter," Sebastian said.

"S-Sebastian Smythe?" Principal Monroe repeated as he paled and shrank back into his chair. "Barnard Academy has rules and your daughter broke them. She attacked a student whose family has a long standing relationship with the Academy and-"

"Principal Monroe…hmm, I don't feel like calling you that so what's your name?" Sebastian cut him off

"M-my name?"

"Your name."

"P-Preston."

"Preston," Sebastian repeated. "Preston Monroe. You got that boys," Sebastian asked, briefly glancing over his shoulder at Shane and Jeff.

"Oh we got it Boss," Shane assured him.

"Good. Now listen Preston, I'm taking offense here to the things that you're telling me," Sebastian began.

"No no, Mr. Smythe! There is no offense meant!"

"Really? Because you used the word attacked. Like my Olivia is some kind of rabid dog or wild animal. Are you calling my daughter a rabid dog or a wild animal, Preston?" Sebastian asked softly.

"Of course not! Olivia is a perfectly lovely child-"

"Twenty minutes ago she was a badly behaved heathen with anger issues," Kurt chimed in.

"Is that so?" Sebastian questioned lightly.

"No, your husband misunderstood-"

"And she's clearly a danger, going around attacking boys and all," Kurt finished.

"Ah, yes this attack," Sebastian nodded. "Tell me, Preston, did you see this alleged attack?"

"No but my sources-"

"You want to rethink that answer," Sebastian ordered lowly.

Principal Monroe was quiet for a few moments. "There was no attack," he said finally. "It was just a misunderstanding between two students."

"That's what I thought," Sebastian smiled. "Well now that we got that all cleared up-"

"Actually baby there is another matter that we haven't addressed yet," Kurt interrupted.

"There is?" Sebastian asked.

"Mmm hmm," Kurt said, smiling sweetly at Principal Monroe. "Preston here seems to think that apparently we don't know our own daughter well enough to realize that our marital issues have impacted her negatively and she's in dire need of counseling," Kurt relayed.

"Is that true Preston," Sebastian demanded.

"I meant no disrespect. I -"

"And then you said that she didn't meet the standards of a Barnard Academy student. That she was lacking," Kurt continued.

"Now, now see Preston that disappoints me," Sebastian said, handing Olivia over to Kurt and coming to stand behind Principal Monroe's chair. He placed both hands on the man's shoulders and squeezed, his fingers digging in painfully. "I don't like to be disappointed," Sebastian said.

"No no no no no, I didn't mean to imply that Olivia was somehow l-less than the other students."

"That's the way it sounded," Kurt cut in. "And I gotta tell you, it hurt my feelings," Kurt said in a small, sad voice and then sniffed for effect.

Principal Monroe shot Kurt an incredulous look and Sebastian tightened his grip on the Principal's shoulders. "What am I supposed to do now, Preston? First my child has been unjustly accused of physically assaulting a classmate and now my husband is upset. What is a man's natural reaction when his family has been insulted?"

"Mr. Smythe, I represent the Academy and it's my duty to make sure that the rules are followed and bad behavior has consequences for all of our students. I can't make exceptions," Principal Monroe tried to explain.

"Why not I made one," Sebastian said as he came around and sat on the Principal's desk facing him. "I came down in person to have a civilized conversation. Usually I send one of my associates," Sebastian said, gesturing towards where Shane and Jeff stood. When Principal Monroe's gaze fell upon the two men Shane cracked his knuckles and Jeff shifted slightly so that a suspicious outline could be seen underneath his jacket.

"Oh well," Principal Monroe said in a high, strained voice. "I suppose we should all make exceptions every now and again. We'll just chalk this up to one big misunderstanding," He said tearing up the document he had been trying to force Kurt to sign.

"That's really good of you," Sebastian said. "But you still haven't apologized to my husband and my daughter for insulting and upsetting them now have you?"

"Mr. Hummel-"

"I hyphenate."

"Mr. Hummel-Smythe s-sir I was out of line to imply that your home was anything less than happy and healthy and I apologize."

"You also said my daughter had anger issues, needed therapy and that she wasn't good enough for your school."

"No no Olivia is a joy, we're honored to have her, no we are _lucky_ to have her here. She's a perfectly delightful little girl and to say otherwise is just pure hogwash," Principal Monroe said quickly.

"Baby, is that satisfactory?"

"It'll do," Kurt sniffed.

"Daddy, can we go home now?" Olivia asked looking up at Kurt.

"Yeah sweetheart," Kurt said, smiling over at Sebastian. "Papa's gonna take us home now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all folks.
> 
> Thank you all so much for going on this journey with me. I explored some kinks that I had never written before and it was the first time that I took my characters to some darker places than I usually go. This was intended to be just be a quick little fill on the GKM and it somehow snowballed into a full on fic that I hope did the prompt and the characters justice.
> 
> This story touches on some very sensitive issues and I know that there's going to be disagreement and debate about a lot of went on between not only Kurt and Sebastian, but Sebastian and his father, Ana and Alex and even whether or not the dynamic with Kurt, Blaine and Sebastian is co-dependent and unhealthy. I just ask that you please, please, please be respectful of each other and my efforts in the comments. Discussion and debate is cool and absolutely encouraged but just be aware that not everyone is going to interpret things the same way and even people who grew up in the same house and shared the same experiences can have vastly different opinions on whether or not a situation was abusive or unhealthy. Your opinion is your own and you have every right to it...that does mean that your opinion is the only right opinion or that your POV is the only one that's valid. Just...be kind and be respectful that everyone (including me) is going to look at these characters and these situations through the lens of their own personal history.
> 
> I know I left some things vague. This wasn't me playing "hit and run". Yes I raised the questions of whether or not Sebastian's father was abusive, whether or not Sebastian was abusive, and whether or not Kurt and Sebastian's relationship is abusive and yes I purposely did not give a definitive statement one way or the other. I want you all to draw your own conclusions without being influenced by the narrative. I wanted to honor the prompt I was given and respect the OP's wishes for a happy ending and at the same time not gloss over the fact that there are unhealthy dynamics at play here. I wanted to paint this picture completely in shades of grey and I think I accomplished that. I wanted the relationships to be messy and complicated and the characters to not fall into the categories of simply being "good" or "bad". It's my hope that everyone in this story comes off a little damaged, a little wrong, a little right and entirely human.
> 
> So...that's everything. I hope you enjoyed the story and I thank you all for your support and encouragement and patience as it took me far longer than I initially intended to tell this tale. If you have any questions or concerns feel free to come by my [Tumblr](http://St-Sebklaine.Tumblr.Com) and say hi


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